The last thing Mane-iac could remember before being knocked out by the electric currents coursing through her body, though mostly her mane and coat was the sight of her now most hated enemies trotting away in victory. Before, they were of little concern to her, but with her plans utterly foiled, Mane-iac's new intentions turn to the six meddlesome mares and Hum-Drum, that single, scrawny little dragon of theirs. However, even he would need to be watched closely, especially after seeing what that twerp can do. The rest of the event played out in her mind as darkness, save for a few moments of alertness when she saw the familiar gates she'd been locked away behind so many times before.
The two guards who'd been carrying her could've sworn they heard the mad mare say, "It's... good to be home again..."
You want a super-power pony story?
I'll give you a super-power pony story...
cs323320.vk.me/v323320767/5a0e/GZ2jdr-KsiM.jpg
Teen, gore, and dark.
Oh boy... This will be a fun one.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3750715
I can hear the skin being pulled off sinners already.
*Swoons as he remembers that one scene from the Silent Hill movie with Pyramid Head.*
3751727
stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/1522698/pyramid-head-dance-o.gif
No, that's not right...
3751797
Still some pretty snazzy moves.
I was gonna make a story about the return of Mane-iac too, but I gave up on it. Oh well. Hmm, maybe I'll read this though. It could be really interesting.
3752002 I hope you enjoy the progression.
I don't really like to read gore, I'm only here because I misread the title as Maniacs Rectum and I thought it was hilarious and thought you should know ok bye.
3752128
Thanks for stopping by!
Teen and Gore? I was hoping for Mature and Sex. Sorry for intruding on your story.
3753594 Parhaps next time.
3753598
I was misled when this appeared in "Readin' it for the plot!" which generally features adult works centered around the posterior. You may wish to send some form of comment their way.
3753703 Huh, user error on my part. Seems I added it there by mistake.
"Readin' it for the plot? Mane-iac's got a great plot!" Aaand, boom.
I'll remove it, I suppose.
nah...
the mane-iac was no where near as cool as she shout had been
I liked the dark atmosphere, in the beginning and it was fun when all those mean dockers died. but that oc just rubs me the wrong way.
3752055
I hope I do too. Good luck with the story.
3756343 Thanks!
poison joker? maeniac is already a joker parody.
3758355 Yeah, I know. Poison Joker, though, is a Ponysona-ish combo of Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy if you wanna get technical. Her name just happens to have 'Joker' in it not because of the type of villain she is, but because of her powers.
3756609
You're welcome.
>inb4 Mane-iac's crazed expressions in Power Ponies
3756609 3755487 3753703 3751727 3750715
After reading that part this pops in my head:
Play as Mane-iac.
3773180
Wait, is that actually in the story?
Oh. The writing is... well, a bit rougher than I thought. Is that a... narrative voice talking to the audience? Third-person omniscient shouldn't be able to pierce the fourth wall.
3774180 It's an inside joke. Jack Rider is a DC icon that does reports or something on the Justice League and such. Near all his interviews, he gives an iconic, "Sorry friend, but you. Are. Wrong!"
You shouldn't judge my writing off some small excerpt, you know.
3774230
It needs some editing. Just from that: it's "followed suit" (a reference to Bridge, though not used as a mere generic idiom.)
Also, is this someone writing or a general narration? If somehow someone is writing this it shouldn't talk about specific internal thoughts. If no one is writing it then the narrative voice should not ask questions or address the audience.
3774180
Oh, for crying out loud... what does "proscenium arch" convey that "fourth wall" doesn't, other than that you know what a proscenium is?
3777197
Other than being more strictly formal, it's a bit more evocative. But just for you, i'll go back and edic the comment so as not to inadvertantly cause offense.
And here. We. Go.
Very interesting take on Mane-iac. Some of the violence felt a little forced, and it seems like the OC in this story is a little heavy-handed (heavy-hoofed?) in terms of character portrayal. But overall this was interesting and fun to read. Good job with this.
MOar?
Will this be updated? If so I can't wait!