Journeyman's Journal

by Journeyman

SCP-1824-J – "The Miner" [At the End]

Author's Note:

In another one of my stories, I went on an SCP Foundation binge before finishing up one of the chapters and had the bright idea of creating an SCP entry for The Player from Minecraft. It wasn't very good, but I had fun making it. It was the progenitor of two other SCP stories of mine, SCP-██ and Site-16.

I don't intend to upload it to the official SCP Foundation archive, because for one, it focuses on a pony-controlled Foundation. The other main reason is that the Foundation members and editors are some of the pickiest bastards on the Internet. I mean that as a form of very high praise. If you think editors and staff from Fimfiction are finicky, that is nothing compared to the Foundation members. I have seen tales and dossiers get completely destroyed through critique. Another aspect of the Foundation rating system concerning dossiers: If your dossier goes into negative ratings, meaning more downvotes than upvotes, the staff hold a poll. If they unanimously agree, you are given a time-limit to improve your article, otherwise it is removed from the archive.

Enough fanboying. I love that site, despite some of the staff being robots from the future. This is just something made for fun, but it made sense. With all of the horrible things going around in Equestria, as well as it's great capability for Fridge Horror and Crapsaccharine nature, I wouldn't be surprised if they did have some form of Foundation control.

Credit must still be give to Trachyon for a brief bought of editing. Way back when, I contemplated posting this as a Joke article on Fimfiction, but decided against it. It doesn't have the humor or flare for such a thing. Seriously; their joke articles are awesome.

Without further ado, here is a report on The Player, if he had somehow stumbled into Equestria's SCP Foundation.

Item #: SCP-1824-J

Object Class: Keter Euclid

Special Containment Procedures: As no known material or magic can indefinitely restrain SCP-1824-J, Research Facility 11 was specially constructed to house it. Should any non-site personnel come into close proximity of Research Facility 11 or [DATA EXPUNGED], they are to be detained for questioning and given a Class-A Mnemonic Enchantment to clear their memories. Should they prove sufficiently hostile enough for safe detainment to be too high of a liability, termination is authorized.

SCP-1824-J’s containment cell is a 5x5x5 meter room with walls composed of tungsten or other material with a density rating of 15,000 or greater. If materials of higher density and sufficient quantities are procured, a separate cell of said materials is to be constructed immediately. Negotiations are in place for securing iridium stockpiles.

The walls must have a minimal thickness of three (3) meters in all directions. Should there be any discovered wear in the metal, or if SCP-1824-J uses it’s inherent abilities on its containment cell, researchers should immediately summon no less than twenty (20) security personnel, two (2) Magi with clearance level three (3) or higher, and Site Commander Captain ████████. All are to observe and restain SCP-1824-J until repairs to its cell are complete. Restraining SCP-1824-J through use of binding magic or [DATA EXPUNGED] is allowed until repairs are complete. SCP-1824-J’s cowardice leaves its hostility and escape attempts at a minimum and relatively cooperative with Foundation staff, but such docility may be a luring tactic. Extreme caution is advised.

Under no circumstances are any weapons, magical regents, or artifacts allowed near SCP-1824-J’s cell. SCP-1824-J is to be released from its cell for research purposes only, and must always be accompanied by guards trained in containing Level-3 security threats.

Description: SCP-1824-J is a bipedal creature approximately two (2) meters tall with peach skin, brown hair, and unremarkable cotton pants and shirt. It’s skin is heavily scarred from unknown past conflicts. SCP-1824-J’s biology does not coincide with any documented creature on record, even in historical lore of all known cultures. Physiology suggests primate ancestry, but no concrete evidence has been procured. Despite possessing what appears to be a functional pair of vocal chords, SCP-1824-J refuses to speak. Note that it [DATA EXPUNGED].

Silhouette of SCP-1824-J

SCP-1824-J has the ability to regenerate from any wound through the consumption of organic matter as long as such a wound does not cause subject termination. Tested matter safe for consumption includes:
► Carbohydrates
► Vegetables
► Fruits
► Sugars
► Synthetic sugars
► Meat - Note that SCP-1824-J has a preference for cooked meat, but will eat fresh meat. Tested flesh includes:
. ► Griffon
. ► Pony
. ► Draconic
. ► [DATA EXPUNGED]

Wounds SCP-1824-J is capable of recovering from are as followed:
► Stab wounds
► Bludgeoning
► Slashes
► Limb removal
► Shattered skeletal structure
► Internal hemorrhaging
► Cranial trauma
► Evisceration
► Organ failure
► [DATA EXPUNGED]

SCP-1824-J displays a remarkable ability to conjure any known substance at will any item which it has “absorbed.” The maximum absorption and conjuring range is unknown, but is suspected to not exceed five (5) meters. Absorbed materials can remain stored for an indefinitely long period of time. No known limit for SCP-1824-J’s storage capacity exists. Just as it can absorb items at will, items can be conjured at will. No known or theorized forms of magic are capable of duplicating SCP-1824-J’s abilities.

SCP-1824-J also has the capability to combine items into new objects. Despite having two or more separate regent items, SCP-1824-J’s “product” may not carry the total mass of the regent items. How it manages to break Starswirl’s Law of Interchange and Distribution of Matter and Magic is unknown. All recorded substances, save for [DATA EXPUNGED] are [DATA EXPUNGED].

Addendum S-1: As evidence suggests SCP-1824-J is prone to hostility, capable of conjuring any known material with ease - including undocumented artifacts, and is capable of transfiguring any material on a subatomic level, SCP-1824-J has been classified as Keter. Designation rescinded on 06/██/████.

Addendum S-2: Below is a complete listing of conjured items to date that SCP-1824-J is capable of producing. This list will be updated accordingly.

► Dirt - Note that recovered samples are [DATA EXPUNGED]
► Cobblestone
► Wood
► Sticks
► Torches - [DATA EXPUNGED]
► Shovels
► Pickaxes
► Swords - [DATA EXPUNGED]
► A helmet composed of diamond fit for SCP-1824-J
► A chestplate composed of diamond fit for SCP-1824-J
► A pair of leggings composed of diamond fit for SCP-1824-J
► A pair of boots composed of diamond fit for SCP-1824-J
► Bow and arrows
► A wooden workbench
► Wooden Signs
► Stone Furnace - [DATA EXPUNGED]
► Coal - [DATA EXPUNGED]
► Wooden Chests - [DATA EXPUNGED]
► Flask containing liquid similar to [DATA EXPUNGED]
► [DATA EXPUNGED]
► [DATA EXPUNGED]

Addendum S-3 06/██/████: Due to the subject’s benign attitude under observation, the capture log by Captain ████████, and assurances by O5-██, SCP-1824-J has been reclassified as Euclid until further notice.

Addendum S-4: Text of a missive by Doctor ████████

To all Research Facility 11 personnel,

I firmly understand the affection all staff and soldiers have for SCP-1824-J, whether due to its congeniality, novelty, or fair spirits. However, you must remember the danger it still poses to the general populous should it ever escape. This is not a petting zoo, but it is not a tavern, either. SCP-1824-J is, first and foremost, contained for safety. Despite your affections, it is unprofessional to treat him as anything more than a captive.

Secondly, it is also unprofessional to address any SCP in official reports by any designation other than their SCP item number. If I see any more reports naming SCP-1824-J as “Radical Steve”, the perpetrator will be severely reprimanded. Repeated failure to comply with this order will involve demotion and assignment to D-class duty.

Doctor ████████

Addendum S-5: Field Agent ███████ ██████ reported on 06/██/████ that SCP-1824-J and SCP-████ both [DATA EXPUNGED]. This suggests an entity deliberately released both SCPs onto the populous. Further research to confirm the existence of said entity is ongoing.

Addendum S-6: Whose bright idea was it to give the thing that can absorb anything fire brandy? Was it to see if SCP-1824-J could heal from ingesting liquids? I hope the resulting containment breach was enough to satisfy your curiosity about a drunk demigod. I will find you and, you will be terminated. Painfully.
~Site Commander Captain ████████

---

SCP Foundation Homesite
Silhouette is a still image from the Youtube series Minecraft: Prophecy
Editors: Trachyon

Comments

[JDLENL]

Dammit, I hate trying to read these. It's boring and there's not enough material not "classified" in these SCP reports to warrant any interest. Moving past this chapter...

[Journeyman]

4246524
You did read the A/N, right? I told you what this was and why it's here instead of in an actual story.

[Reader Review]

Repeated failure to comply with this order will involve demotion and assignment to D-class duty.

Repeated failure to comply with this order will involve demotion and assignment to the Foundation's Cannon Fodder Division Fixed it

But I agree with the A/N. Its probably easier to get into college than it is to create an approved SCP XP

[Siphon117]

I actually think that this one suits him. Although, given the way the miner acts, I think that treating him like a prisoner is a little much. Not bad though.