Memiors of a Mane Stylist: The Daffidazey diaries

by Paradise Oasis

Out of control!

Out of control!

Mmmmmmmm.... hello Diary, good to talk to you again. I'm feeling much better today- really words cannot describe. I don't know what that crazy mix did to me, but whatever it did, I sure could use another dose of it! I feel like a whole new pony!

When I first woke up this morning, I first noticed the changes that goop had worked on me. I was first shocked when I saw a long, flowing rainbow mane and tail which stretched down off my bed, and was now longer than my body. And as I stood up to admire my new hair, I then noticed my body had gone through some changes, as well. Long, curvy legs and flank, an actual flower booming on my cutie mark instead of just an image. As I noticed and admired my new physique in the mirror, I came to realize something that had not occurred to me before.

I was seeing my refection perfectly... even without my glasses on.

That weird concoction... it fixed everything about me. No more stumbling around with blurry vision, no more clumsily going about my work in my shop. I was going to be a much cooler, more confident mare then I had been before. It's going to be a very different deal from here on out, diary, and I can guarantee that from what I've already experienced today!

After waking up and heading out into Ponyville, I noticed Scootaloo zooming towards me on her motor scooter. Coming to a stop right in front of me, she revved up her noisy machine and shot smoke from the exhaust into my face.

"Hey granny Daffy! Shocked to see you out this early." The tomboy sneered at me. "I'm not annoying you or anything, right?"

"Actually, I was just here to see you on your way!" I snapped at her, kicking the throttle on her scooter and sending her zooming forward. "Have a nice trip, loser! See you next fall!"

"Aiieeeeeeee!" The poor mare wailed, as the scooter zoomed forward and crashed with it's bratty passenger into the mud. Oh jeez diary, you shoulda seen how funny that mare looked with her face covered in gunk!

After I finished laughing my flank off, I made my way to Cotton Candy's cafe, where a bunch of the other mares were already gathered. Ordering some rainbow juice from Cotton, I sat down to enjoy my drink. Unfortunately, the mare who trotted up to me ws determined to make an annoyance of herself.

"Hey Daffeydazey, good to see you, yes yes yes!" Razaroo greeted me, holding up her birthday book. "Wanna help me plan Puzzlemint's birthday party?"

"No I don't want to help you, oh no no!" I snorted at her. "I've got better things to do with my time than help you put together another one of your pointless birthday surprises!"

"What! How can you say that?!?" Raz asked in shock, her jaw nearly hitting the floor. "My birthday celebrations aren't pointless!"

"Well they're certainly a waste of my time!" I snapped back, standing up. "But since you can't just let me sit here and enjoy my juice- here, you can have it!"

Picking up the juice up with my hoof, I throw the cup in her face, and leaving the surprised mare soaked before trotting out. That pathetic Razaroo, she's probably never had another pony yell at her before. Her brain probably broke at the mere thought of aggression from a friend.

Ohh, diary- I've finally got to do all the things I've been thinking of doing for a long time. I went from Pony to pony, telling them exactly what I thought of them and their stupid hobbies!

"Rainbow Dash, Sew and Sew... you're dresses suck!"

"Fiesta Flair, your salsa music sounds like a dying cat! That stupid band of yours should disband!"

"You call that art Toola? I've seen foals who can color inside the lines better! That wall looks like a rainbow threw up all over it!"

Of course, all those little idiots started bawling like babies. Stupid brats, they're all so nice and sugary sweet, anybody can tell they're all so totally fake with their laughter and friendship and parties. I swear, I don't think they ever get mad at anything! Living in this girly pink nightmare of a town is enough to make a grown mare sick!

Later, as I was trotting my wa back towards my shop, I heard another pony trotting up behind me. Turning to face the pony standing there, I find Pinkie Pie behind me.

"Ummm, Daffey?" The pink mare asked me, her voice echoing her concern. "Are you all right? I heard from the other ponies that you were a little upset..."

"Upset? Nah, I actually feel great Pinks." I told her, a devilish smile on my face. "I finally told all those stupid, girly brats what I thought of them, and their stupid and pointless lives!"

"You can't actually mean that Daffey!" She protested in shock, giving me a hurt look. "You've always been so nice and sweet and kind!"

"Then maybe you don't know don't know me as well as you think you do, you useless pink pile of-"

"DAFFEY, THAT IS ENOUGH!" Pinkie snapped, finally blowing her top. "Don't you even care about anyone else's feelings?!?"

But it's at that point I trot off, a smug smirk of victory on my face. I finally did it- I made one of these sugary sweet ponies crack through their sweet syrupy exteriors and actually get angry. Good. I was sick of living in this stupid filly fantasy where no one ever even gets upset... Ponyville needed to get real. And if my little temper tantrum is what was needed to get these ponies a wake-up call, well then they got exactly what they deserved!

Oh, diary, this is so exhilarating! I've never felt this- alive before! Look out world, Daffeydazey is outta here... and the new Daffidazey is gonna rock ponyville's world!

Ohhh, that stallion I met over by ponyville lake earlier today is giving me the eye… gotta go diary, I think I’m gonna be up late tonight!