A group of war weary Terrans find themselves thrust into an alien environment where good is good and bad is bad. Or is it? These brave men will discover a world very alien but also very familiar.
May must be the cutest bodyguard around! Anyhow, I like the chapter but the toilet issue might have been a bit much though and doesn't add much, instead breaking the pacing a bit. Anyhow, it's nice to see Steiner getting a friend there. Her innocence makes things a bit odd though, mostly because I can't really decide wether to classify her as the adopted little sister,friend with boundary issues or potential romantic interest, but I suppose that will clear up the more we see of her. But over all a lovely chapter and, as always, looking forward to more.
I think you've gotten her too involved to just be a passing side character at this point. But even if you didn't, I would still love to see more of May. I definitely see a close friend for Steiner in her.
Oh shite... I didn't even know. Which was probably pretty obvious.
And that saying, I'll be sure to utilize that. Hopefully my next chapter won't feature those issues. And I'll be sure to go back and fix the dialogue issues and the other errors you pointed out.
Why do I feel that, by the end of this story, Private Weather is going to get her combat cherry popped and stop acting like a "greener than grass" NUB? Well, there are two things that happen to FNGs that are as green as Private Weather, at least as far as any story I've ever read. They either become hardened, rugged vets that'll eat Kevlar (with ballistic plates) and grow a bullet-proof beard (see below) or popped in the most gruesome and violent way possible in order to mentally scar everyone in a ten-mile radius. Usually the latter, like any warrior named "Jimmy"... That poor, poor bastard...
I'm a little disappointed now; I kinda wanted to see Dietrich using Thu'ums against some aliens
But on a more serious note; yes Private Weather is a cute character, no, she should not necessarily be thrown off the bus. However the story should not be de-railed by a love-interest if you do not intend on selling it as a main plot-point. If you do, I suggest adding the romance tag to prevent some potential dis-likes.
5252710 Ha! You're right! I guess I just assumed because games with sexual references were Mature (Mass Effect), that fics should be M for references as well, which I believe many people did too.
Nice chapter, there's some good interaction here. It balances out the action-packed parts to provide some balance.
Also, I personally didn't notice a single spelling error, this time around.
May must be the cutest bodyguard around!
Anyhow, I like the chapter but the toilet issue might have been a bit much though and doesn't add much, instead breaking the pacing a bit.
Anyhow, it's nice to see Steiner getting a friend there. Her innocence makes things a bit odd though, mostly because I can't really decide wether to classify her as the adopted little sister, friend with boundary issues or potential romantic interest, but I suppose that will clear up the more we see of her.
But over all a lovely chapter and, as always, looking forward to more.
A nice little chapter here, I'd definitely like to see more of May!
I think you've gotten her too involved to just be a passing side character at this point. But even if you didn't, I would still love to see more of May. I definitely see a close friend for Steiner in her.
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Oh shite... I didn't even know. Which was probably pretty obvious.
And that saying, I'll be sure to utilize that. Hopefully my next chapter won't feature those issues. And I'll be sure to go back and fix the dialogue issues and the other errors you pointed out.
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Um... I can explain...
And I'll be sure to fix the short hand issues. That never occured to me. Thanks! You've been incredibly helpful!
Why do I feel that, by the end of this story, Private Weather is going to get her combat cherry popped and stop acting like a "greener than grass" NUB? Well, there are two things that happen to FNGs that are as green as Private Weather, at least as far as any story I've ever read. They either become hardened, rugged vets that'll eat Kevlar (with ballistic plates) and grow a bullet-proof beard (see below) or popped in the most gruesome and violent way possible in order to mentally scar everyone in a ten-mile radius. Usually the latter, like any warrior named "Jimmy"... That poor, poor bastard...
licktheballs.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/gallery_max/image_gallery/combat_beard.jpg
4507800 Actually I think she's hoping a different sort of cherry will be popped, wink nudge.^_^
4481502 "I hope you like Nordic mythos."
So the Snakes are Alduin's followers, and we need someone Shouting "Fus Ro Dah" at them now?
4563576 lol.
Nordic as in vikings. Jormungadr is the Midgard Serpent and a Jotun.
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I'm a little disappointed now; I kinda wanted to see Dietrich using Thu'ums against some aliens
But on a more serious note; yes Private Weather is a cute character, no, she should not necessarily be thrown off the bus. However the story should not be de-railed by a love-interest if you do not intend on selling it as a main plot-point. If you do, I suggest adding the romance tag to prevent some potential dis-likes.
4581431 Romance at this point in the story would kind of ruin it for me, don't know about anyone else though.
5217580 have you heard of Rvb by roosterteeth?
5251734 they curse every 3 seconds. Most Rvb fics have either mature, or ten ratings because of the curses and immaturity everywhere.
5251884 well doesn't stop the authors from rating the story 'M for language and sexual references'.
5252245 welp, authors still rate their Rvb fics 'M for language '
I actually didn't know that sexual references were teen ratings...
5252710 Ha! You're right! I guess I just assumed because games with sexual references were Mature (Mass Effect), that fics should be M for references as well, which I believe many people did too.
I would love to meet these Kruzans >:)