• Member Since 12th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 44 minutes ago

TheGentlemanCreeper


T

(2nd Person Story starring lifeguard "You" and Applejack)

Being a well respected life-guard on a tropical island sounds like it’d be the best job ever, but you find your life becoming quite complicated when you become fast friends with a tourist and fall head over heels for her. Can you find the courage to confess your love to her? And will she even accept your feelings? And what will your friends say when you tell them you’re in love with another mare?

Author's Note: Oh yes, I went there. This is a female perspective fic. I recall someone saying in the SFG Thread: "Why are all these stories in a male perspective? It's not like I mind, it's just I'd like to see some female perspective fics out there."

So, as the ever exploring type, I decided "Why the heck not?" and made this fic from a female point of view. And honestly, I like how it turned out. I do hope you enjoy it.

Side Note: I talked with Coffeebean while writing this fic and actually asked him to write a part for this fic. A more... Hot and heavy part. It's not straight up clop-fic, but I wouldn't say it's safe for work, either. So, for lack of a better idea, I'm going to include a link to it here as google document that you may view. It takes place in-between parts four and five.

Swing (Part 4.5)(AKA Operation: Wingboner)(Warning: the following part may be considered graphic and not safe for younger audiences. Viewer discretion is advised) - https://docs.google.com/document/d/15CjK0lq4kjq3FBIIbcFo8kaMxk-VdJeq62wOv2yKeBU/edit?hl=en_US

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 131 )

a very good story

Interesting prologue.:ajsmug: I'll definitely be reading into this to see where it's going.

I did manage to find a typo, if you don't mind me helping. "Bye Granny Smith, bye Big Macintosh, by Apple Bloom!"

I approve of you. Keep it up.

Beautiful story! I enjoyed reading it. Must say, I've never read a 2nd-person fic before, but I'm glad I read this. You have a lot of talent!

Allow me to correct one final typo. Applebloom's line: “Do... Do I have to call you ‘big sis’ now two? Or...” Think it's supposed to be too.

Cheers man.

Bravo good sir!

Ahahaha! Oh man, I've got this big stupid grin on my face and a warm fuzzy glow inside from just reading this.

Reminded me of watching this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=VU-mPOrVUYs#t=1m18s

All it needed was an 'and they all lived happily ever after' to it :)

Why do i say Blendy's words out loud trying to sound Jamaican...

KILLER SHARK? REALLY!!!! Bud, I live off the coast of California AND I volunteer at the Aquarium of the Pacific and do you know what? Sharks kill 1-2 people per year! Thats less the the number of deaths caused by: hotdogs, dogs, cats, falling out of bed, getting hit by lightning, Airplanes, Vending machines (people knock them over when trying to get a snack out), rock concerts, deer, hippos, eels, shopping on black Friday, and just about every kind of death in the world.
Now do you know how many sharks are killed per year by mankind? Somewhere in the range of 26 million to 75 million annually!!! Also, sharks have the most awesome life cycle compared next to the sea jelly. (the correct name of the jelly fish) Sorry to be so nit picky but when you life by the ocean and care about it, it really ticks you off when someone portrays an awesome creature in a bad light. I will go back to reading now...:ajsleepy:

15954
Whoa, sorry to offend. I just figured that ponies weren't exactly on top of the food chain and sharks would fall under the same category as manticores, hyrdras, and other meat eating predators, i.e. a threat. And when you've got four kids splashing frantically and (I hate to spoil it, but it helps hammer home the point) one of them bleeding, they'd seem like a good target for a great white. Once again, sorry to offend. I understand where you're coming from, so don't think I'm being callous. I appreciate and respect all forms of life.

Yeah...after venting I seem kinda obsessive....I guess you could technically bring in the sea ponies from the past seasons and talk of the sharks imprinting on the pony figure...(which would be similar enough to real life sharks and surfers (they look like seals from the bottom)) As for the great white comment, most shark attacks are actually cased by Tiger sharks and Bull sharks (or at least the ones close to shore that have turned out fatal) Also while its true that blood attracts the sharks, they are normally scared off by the big humans in the water. Anyways, I finished the story. Great as always blah blah blah. Also nice California Description! (really only downtown LA is like that. beside the occasional gang, most California Cities are fine as long as you stay out of "that area" ) But you did have a point about how violent our city can be though I would have mentioned the pollution here....(its why our sunsets are so beautiful) that's a more annoyance than the gangs most of the time. And lets see here....wow, you nailed that comment with the griffon head on! Most of the young adults here (the screwed up ones mind you, the rest of us are really nice) are even more raciest.
Anyways, great story, cant wait to see your other work when it comes out....oh and curse you for getting me into good romance stories!!!

15966
Heh, glad you liked it. And as for the sharks being scared off by big humans in the water... We're dealing with ponies, remember? I doubt ponies in Equestria kill sharks in the numbers you described and they wouldn't be scared off by a creature much smaller than them. And it's great to see that I managed to nail down some aspects of California (Coltifornia) in my fic. I was mostly going off of what Sublime sang in their songs and a little research. And what's so bad about good romance stories? :P

True, but it's more about the vibrations they make in the water. As for romance, I have nothing against it (except for twilight...stupid vampire) but I find it half disturbing that we are writing romance about ponies on a tv show. Well it's better than clop Fics... Oh right! An the other half, I am amazed that people not only have time to become a fan of the show AND write believable romance stories (though i feel your pinkie one was kinda forced). I mean just look at this crazy fandom! Half of me is proud (my little dashie, the viynal scratch tapes, etc) and the other half is horrified (cupcakes, clop Fics, grimark stuff) ah well...I guess that means we appeal to everybody? (including the sick minded...) now then....
CONFOUND YOU WRITER!! I HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO!!!!!:derpyderp1:

I read Blendy's words as Little Jacob. These are really good.

I'm like crying man. This one is probably my favorite yet! Keep it up brony! :pinkiehappy:

So good. Amazing job with this.

>Insane Clown Ponies

haha oh wow

Another Great story like the other 4 :ajsmug:

I am quite curious to know if your doing stories for Fluttershy and Twilight as they're the last 2 of the Mane 6 for you to write stories for. As far as i've gathered Twilight has a "Weirdo" that she has around, although apparently sullen about him not giving her Pet name, also i do remember something about Clover which apparently is a drug of so form in this universe :applejackunsure:. As for Fluttershy all i've gathered is that she has a Writer Stallion but that's just what i remember from from a paragraph in Freudian Slip (Love the title btw :pinkiehappy:)

Can't Wait for them if they are coming though! :twilightsmile:

"I LIKE THIS ONE!"
ilaughedmorethanishouldhave.tiff

Seriously, though, Granny Smith is awesome in this series.

Lol a wingie:ajsmug:

I loved that last line made me cry with joy it's stuff like they hug them there home there home and there loved

So .. Twi isnt called Honey-bun at all?

And Fluttershy got a letter-friend?!

.. and .. amazing story, like always! :pinkiehappy:

No commets:pinkiegasp:

your works.....always....leave me speachless...and 900% happier :'D Thank you!

Y U NO HAVE 5.0!!!! U deserve one!

I can't believe nobody's commented on this little point:

How did the CMC find their way onto that beach!? I hope the inevitable CMC story includes an explanation :P

I wonder what AJ would think if she found out the shark 'you' bucked was after her sister...

21370
:rainbowlaugh: That is something you whant to check

how sad that a grown colt still makes fun of other ponies for who they love (i mean their a filliy foller or colt cuddler)

Well i say it but my friend's know i'm playing around as well when they do that to me

BROHOOVE YOU SEDERVE IT AND5/5 STAR'S

Whihuhuuhuhhhhbuhhuhhuuuuhahhaauabhhhhhueehheueuheue wat?

JAMECAN EEE! lol, my friends immitate an african or jamaican voice all the time and it's funny as HELL XD.
Waguan EEeeEe!

I'm gay. Not really.

A... Wingie? XD Nice... Have to admit, it's going to be hard to read this when 'I' am a mare, but it's only fair to the few female readers out there! You're certainly done plenty of other second pony fics, so... XD Ahhh... This is going to be... Interesting...

... Sounds like SOMEPONY has a stalker... >.>

O.o

FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Wait, there's still a few more chapters... *Swallows hard* T-there might still be a chance for a happy ending... Right?

Hrmm... Was it this after this story that I had to read something else to read your next story, or... *Thinks* Oh well! ON TO THE NEXT STORY! ~ALLONS-Y!~

omg you are so good at writing second person fics... I love this... well on to your other stories...:ajsmug:

Just out of interest, have any of you read the bonus chapter?

I like the fact that its in a mares perspective.

Finally, I was wondering when our comrades of the female part of the population would get a 2nd POV fic.
This is going to be fuuuuuun indeed.

Whhaaa!? Does she do that everytime? Oh Celestia...

A 2nd person story...

Set in a tropical setting...

With Applejack...

And the protagonist is a mare...

It's like it was made for me! :rainbowkiss:

Wait, I forgot something...

You shipped my second most favorite pony with my least favorite pony :applecry:

81148 FUCK I FORGOT! Damn it. Fuck. Shit. Tits. I missed it. Now I'm ahead of the story, and, just, FUCK! Thanks for reminding me :|

81148 Okay, just finished. Nothing to serious from the main story line, so I was really TO far ahead, but I'm going back to chapter four and post a comment so people know there's a 4.5 that contains some good stuff in there. Very nicely written. Good job you two.

Here. Go to this, it's an extra chapter that's linked in the description. It's picks up were this one left off, and leads into a steamy love scene. https://docs.google.com/document/d/15CjK0lq4kjq3FBIIbcFo8kaMxk-VdJeq62wOv2yKeBU/edit?hl=en_US It doesn't have any of teh MAIN story, but it's very nice. I think you guys should ttly read it.

103721

Nevermind my comment. I've read 'Freudian Slip'. I thought you shipped RD with Doctor Whooves...

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