Carpe Diem

by Helrael

5 - A Lesson in Mercy

Carpe Diem

Chapter 5 - A Lesson in Mercy

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"Did Luna just ground you?" Twilight asked her mentor with amused disbelief as the door connecting Celestia's study with the rest of her chambers was shut by the half dozen unicorn guards that had escorted them from the sculpture garden and into the palace.

Celestia, however, was far from amused. "I can't believe she would order the royal guards to set the labyrinth on fire if I didn't return!"

"I don't think she'd ask them to really do it," Twilight attempted in an effort to placate her, but the princess shook her head, striding past the desk and the bookcases of the small study to gaze out the window. Below her, she saw the massive labyrinth, finally freed from its hour-long siege.

"They had torches, Twilight." Her view was blocked when a pegasus guard appeared outside the window. He halted in midair, and started hovering just outside the study, surveying the room stolidly. Celestia's eyes were drawn to the remaining two windows in the study, only to find two other pegasus guards hovering there, their faces unreadable as they unabashedly ruined what little privacy Celestia and her student had left. "This is getting out of hoof," she growled, turning away from the windows. Refusing to show Twilight a more unsavory side of herself, she took a deep breath to calm herself, forcing the thought of the pegasi staring at her out of her mind.

"I guess we'll just have to wait until Luna comes back from her sweep," Twilight sighed uncomfortably. "She must have a really good reason for doing this."

"She better," Celestia grumbled in response, looking at her bookcase so as not to meet eyes with her student while in her current foul temper. "I gave her a thousand years to recover from Nightmare Moon, but she won't give me more than three weeks? It's far from the same thing, I know, but so are a month and a millennium!"

"She just doesn't understand. That's what you said yesterday, right?"

"It's no excuse for how she's acting!" Celestia insisted. "She should focus more on ruling and less on forcing me back onto my pedestal!"

Twilight hesitated at those words. "You really think you've been knocked off of that whole 'Goddess of the Sun' pedestal, don't you? All the way off?"

"Chrysalis saw to that, yes," Celestia replied bitterly, throwing a frosty glare at one of the pegasus guards in an effort to scare him off. The stallion didn't flinch, and Celestia briefly wondered what it was exactly that made the guards more afraid of Luna than of her. "You don't think so?" she asked of Twilight.

"That's what I've been telling you all day," she answered, a hint of exasperation in her voice. "If you had, they'd have taken away your crown and thrown you out of the palace!"

"I'm not wearing my crown."

"I bet it's still standing on your nightstand, though," Twilight pointed out, nodding her head at the wall separating the study from Celestia's bedroom. "If we're using the pedestal analogy, yours must be standing on a mountain or something compared to the rest of us; Chrysalis might have knocked you off your pedestal, but you're still way above us. We still think you're the princess of Equestria, we might just not see you as... well, as invincible as we once did."

"And that's the root of the problem isn't it? I may still be the princess, but it was a long fall from... invincibility. And now that I've fallen off of it, I can't ever climb back up. I know I made the climb once, but it was so long ago... I no longer know the way."

"Do you need to stand on it?" Twilight asked carefully. "Plenty of ponies are doing just fine without thinking they're unstoppable."

"I'm not like most other ponies, am I?" Celestia reminded her student. "I'm the centuries-old ruler of Equestria, the alicorn who has carried the burdens of the sun and moon for a thousand years. It's as though I gave up my equinity all those years ago to become... to become Celestia. I've given up so much of what I once called myself so that I could be what Equestria needed back then, and in return I gained its support and I gained this... invincibility. But that has been taken from me now. What if she took my subjects' love from me as well? Then what am I?"

Something brushed against her shoulder, and she turned her head to see Twilight giving her an encouraging nuzzle. "She can't take that away from you," she assured her. "Not ever. And you can't let that fear keep you from facing the public."

"You could be right," Celestia admitted without much conviction, returning her gaze to the bookcase in front of her.

"I know I'm‒"

"And you could be wrong. Right now, I'm afraid I'd rather live in uncertainty than in certainty of the worst outcome..."

"That doesn’t seem like the best idea," Twilight muttered uneasily.

Celestia smiled sadly, her gaze growing distant. "Not to you. But to me… I’d rather…” She paused for a moment, busying herself with tidying up the bookcase while choosing her next words. "A thousand years ago, I remember, I had a horrible nightmare. I dreamed that my own sister had gone behind my back and attempted to overthrow a rule I thought we shared. I dreamed that I banished her to the moon, that I had condemned us both to an eternity of solitude. That morning I stayed in bed longer than I have ever done in my entire life. I was so afraid that what I had dreamed was a reality. I was petrified.

"I finally convinced myself that my nightmare was nothing but a ridiculous fantasy, that Luna would never turn on me." Her breathing shallowed. "Ponies smiled at me wherever I went, some with restrained happiness, others out of sympathy. They... congratulated me on my victory... The sun nearly went out that day. The maid who thought it prudent to call me queen took the full brunt of the royal Canterlot voice, something I haven't used since. I named Silverblood Regent of Equestria and I simply stopped... living. It was only half a century later that three little foals reminded me of the importance of Laughter. I don't want that to happen again. My uncertainties now are… bearable. But I’m afraid of that vacuum, Twilight."

She felt a dampness on her cheeks and turned her head away from Twilight again, only to be confronted by the infuriating sight of the pegasus guards. Giving a strange mix of a grunt of irritation and a choked-back sob, the princess returned her gaze to the bookcase in front of her. "Look at me. Falling apart right in front of you." She gave herself a bitter smile and dried her tears with a quick spell. "I’m sorry."

Twilight didn't immediately respond, instead mulling over her mentor's words for a while, staring at her hooves just as blankly as Celestia stared at the books in front of her. While waiting for a reply, she found herself oddly preoccupied with the question of why she even had the bookcase in her study. The books it held were of no use to her work. She wasn't even sure she had picked half the books resting on those shelves. It was more of an aesthetic feature than anything else, she supposed.

"I get the feeling that this goes deeper than just the wedding," Twilight finally observed, interrupting the idle wanderings of Celestia's mind. "Sounds like it goes all the way back to the Nightmare Moon incident."

"Both of those events are failures of mine," Celestia agreed. "The worst part of being me is that when I fail, I do so disastrously. My battle with Nightmare Moon left me aching for... I'm still aching. One mistake ended with a thousand years of regret. Right now, I think, I'm just waiting for something horrible to happen, for things to spiral out of control because I failed against Chrysalis."

Without warning, the door to Celestia's study was thrown open, and Luna strode through the doorway purposefully, closing the door behind her before even looking at the two ponies present. "I bear urgent news, sister," she breathed, her voice hoarse and ragged after some strenuous activity, no doubt running through the palace following a full sweep of the city. "And I require your counsel. 'Tis most fortuitous the guard found you in my absence‒"

"You threatened with burning down the labyrinth!" Celestia snapped in annoyance, her rage blossoming forth once more at the sight of her sister. "And what is this!?" she demanded, waving a hoof at the three pegasi hovering outside the windows.

"I did not have time for your frivolities," Luna argued, then motioned for Twilight to leave the study. "I must speak with you in private. I have an urgent matter on my hooves that I cannot deal with alone!"

Twilight nodded her understanding at the two princesses and trotted out the study. Luna watched her go and not before the door had closed behind the little unicorn did she face Celestia again and speak.

"The changeling queen is preparing a counter-offensive against Canterlot," her younger sister revealed in a hushed tone so that none of the unicorns outside could hear. "As we speak, she is rallying hundreds, maybe thousands, under her banner in the badlands."

Celestia's frown melted away into a wide-eyed expression of shock, and she fell back on her haunches, as if struck physically by the news. "How do you know this?"

"The prisoners have taken to talking," Luna explained seriously, pleadingly. "I have interrogated three of the parasites, and they all share the same tale. One insists they will strike before Prince Shining Armor returns from his honeymoon."

"I don't do well with war," Celestia replied despairingly, bringing a hoof to her temple and sighing. "You said that yourself, Luna. What do you need my counsel for?"

"I need your help," Luna answered, taking a step toward her elder sister. "We mustn't hesitate, sister. You mustn't hesitate! If the combined swarm of Chrysalis' supporters reach Canterlot, we cannot win!"

"I doubt we can fight her in the badlands either," Celestia pointed out. "What would you have me do?"

"We failed to destroy her. In fact, she invaded Canterlot, struck you down, and has not a single wound to show for it. They say she's invincible. She travels far and wide to tell the tale of her 'victory', rallying more and more parasites for this planned reinvasion. Now is the time to strike. Show the parasites that their queen is not the invincible goddess she claims to be."

Celestia flinched at the irony of her sister's statement. "You're saying we should... kill her?"

"There is no other way. The changelings will see any other action as a sign of weakness. And we must act," Luna added, sensing Celestia's apprehension.

"I haven't killed a single living being in all my life," Celestia muttered. "And neither have you. There is another way, Luna. There always is. We cannot allow ourselves to stoop to the level of an assassin."

"We are protectors of the realm, not assassins," Luna argued, taking another step closer. "Do you want to see our subjects killed? Enslaved? She will do all those things, sister! Unless we stop her!"

"There are rules we must obey," Celestia insisted, looking her sister in the eye. "Unwritten rules that, if broken, disrupts the balance of the entire world. You've broken those rules before, Luna, and you paid a terrible price. Everyone did. You and I must never justify crimes such as these."

"If we stand together, we have the power to right our wrongs. We should be cautious, but we should not be afraid either. We can take risks, sister, especially if they are far outweighed by the benefits of such a decision."

"No."

"Shining Armor, Cadance, Twilight Sparkle," Luna listed out of the blue, taking a different approach. "Chrysalis will not forget the three ponies responsible for her initial defeat. What will she do to them, sister? I can assure you that she will not simply kill them. What will she do to your student?"

"Luna."

"Do you wish to hear her screams?"

"Don't think you can anger me into killing, Luna!" Celestia warned her sister, disgust clear in her voice. "There is always another way."

"Then what, pray tell, is this other way!?" Luna demanded of her sister angrily. "They may very well be upon us by the end of the week! We must cut off the head of the snake before it devours our kingdom!"

"I won't think of a solution with you shouting at me!" Celestia countered, then waved another hoof at the pegasus guards in frustration. "Just... leave me alone for now and get those guards out of my sight! I need to think."

Luna held her ground for a moment longer before sighing, and with the exhalation, she seemed to deflate slightly, bowing her head. "Very well," she surrendered hesitantly, gesturing at the pegasi outside to leave. "I pray you will find a solution, sister. I shall see what else the prisoners have to offer... after court..." She turned, opened the door and strode out of the study. "My sister requires privacy," she declared to the unicorns assembled outside. "Half of you will escort Twilight Sparkle to the library and look after‒"

"Bring her in here," Celestia interrupted her sister, who gave her a confused look.

"V-very well. Twilight Sparkle, you will remain with my sister. The rest of you will stand guard outside these chambers. Princess Celestia is not to be disturbed."

Twilight hurried in through the door just as Luna shut it behind her, leaving the two ponies alone once more. Celestia exhaled deeply and rose from the floor, walking slowly across the study to gaze out the window again.

"What did Luna want?" Twilight asked when Celestia didn't volunteer any information. She sounded worried, which hardly wondered Celestia. The midday sky, having gradually brightened over the course of the time the two had spent together, had dulled noticeably upon her hearing Luna's grim tidings.

She didn't immediately answer, considering instead the wisdom of involving Twilight in matters of warfare. "I told you I'd be happy if I never saw Chrysalis again," she relented. "I'm not that lucky, it would seem. Luna has learned that Chrysalis is planning another invasion of Canterlot. It's possible that they'll attack in just a few days, before Shining Armor and Cadance return."

"A-attack!?" Twilight exclaimed in a panic, reacting exactly as Celestia had expected her to. "How!? It's only been three weeks! They can't have recovered already; that's impossible!"

"Chrysalis is entirely unhurt, apparently," Celestia offered, knowing that the explanation made even less sense. "While Canterlot has been struggling to recover from nothing but an experimental assault, she's been busy preparing for the real thing. According to Luna, we will have lost if the changelings cross our borders."

"Then what do we do!?"

"We remain calm," Celestia told her student, looking back at the unicorn still standing at the bookcase. "Luna believes the answer lies in a preemptive strike, to kill the queen and hope it dissuades her supporters from attacking. But there has to be another way..."

"Why... why not kill her?" The question caught Celestia off guard, and, having just returned her gaze to the royal garden beyond the window, she once again looked back over her shoulder at Twilight. "It's just... it seems like the best solution," Twilight defended herself, growing uncomfortable under Celestia's surprised stare. "Won't she just keep coming back unless we... put a stop to her?"

Celestia released her student from her gaze and looked at her hooves for a moment. After a while, she sighed and raised her head, locking eyes with her reflection in the window. "Long ago, so long ago that the time has fallen into legend, Equestria was an utter dystopia. Generations lived their entire lives in misery. Thousands upon thousands of ponies, were they foal, mare, or stallion, were all victims of one oppressor's whim, a whim that would change without warning in the blink of an eye."

"Discord..."

"His evil was even greater then than it was when you met him. He was callous, he was ruthless, and suffering lay in his wake wherever he went. There were many who could not forgive his sins, many who wanted him destroyed. Living under his rule for so long… I understood my people’s wishes. If it were up to Luna, those wishes would have been granted. Yet it was my decision to turn him to stone instead, and Luna accepted it.

"The ponies of that age didn't exactly appreciate our mercy back then. Because of our perceived weakness, it took many years before Luna and I had asserted ourselves as rulers in the eyes of all Equestrians. There were many ancient kings and queens that refused our authority, and I fear Luna took the brunt of their criticism. I was, after all, the pony who brought them the sun, but Luna didn't enjoy the same kind of... protection. Had I killed Discord, I might have avoided the Nightmare Moon incident altogether and kept my sister for those thousand years. Had I known as much, I may just have gone through with it back then...

"And yet... You've met Discord," Celestia told her student. "Should I have killed him then?"

"If it meant keeping your sister?"

"Should I have killed Discord, period," Celestia corrected her student, then shook her head at what she had said. "Question mark, I mean."

"Ye‒... Hmm... I don't... The Discord I met... he didn't seem… that evil," Twilight mused out loud. "He was just trying to have a lot of fun... at the cost of all of Equestria getting turned completely upside down. Kinda reminds me of Pinkie, except for the superpowers and callous disregard for everything around him."

"Would you have me kill such a creature?"

"I suppose not," Twilight admitted glumly.

"If you had the chance of preventing his existence, would you do so?"

"You mean kill him back when you first defeated him?" Twilight went silent for a few seconds as she considered the question.

In all honesty, the amount of time her student spent pondering the question worried Celestia. She had always assumed Twilight possessed a sense of morality that would never allow her to even consider murder, but it seemed she was treating the question of how to deal with Discord or Chrysalis like a logic problem, weighing the benefits against the consequences in much the same way Luna had done.

"He changed," Twilight finally stated, and Celestia nodded.

"He changed," she agreed. "He is no longer the monster he was, and so I hope that one day, perhaps sooner than either of us may think, he will find a new path in life. Where none other could see it, not even I, I found some semblance of light within Discord. Only time will tell if it was worth the effort of uncovering it."

"But how can you be sure Chrysalis will change? Changelings don't have any emotions of their own; no matter how long you imprison her or what you do to her, she won't feel any remorse."

"I suppose you read that in a book," Celestia observed, and Twilight nodded. "Can you be certain it's true? Would you really stake another being's life on it? Would you stake another being's life on the fact that they can never change? Consider yourself; Nightmare Moon had to threaten the world with eternal night, but you managed to change. Would the old you ever have imagined being able, let alone willing, to make five friends in a single night?"

"Alright, alright," Twilight sighed in defeat. "Guess I can't compete with a thousand years of wisdom and experience. You're right; we can't kill Chrysalis."

Celestia gave a sad smile. "But what other choice is there?"

Comments

[TheFireman]

I had to reread this to figure out what was going on. Good chapter though. Update more if possible.

[Helrael]

3982709 I got sidetracked by one of my other stories, but I intend to return to this one now. I'll have to reread what I've written as well before I can continue writing.

[Luna Secret Stallion]

Nope I read what here so far and I am just not into it. Sorry.