Saying Goodbye
"Mom?" a high-pitched voice inquired with concern edging at its words. The pink pony's face was lowered in shame, ears drooping and voice quivering. It was only a matter of hope that pulled her through this scary moment. Her pink hair had slightly deflated at the prospect of asking her mother for permission, but hopefully her mother would respect her wishes. It was for the best, Pinkie thought.
"Yes, Pinkamena Diane?" a mundane, azure pony asked, her teal-gray hair held high in a bun. She lowered her old fashioned glasses in respect to her daughter, unaware of her daughter's turmoil.
"Now that I have my cutie mark, I think I know what I want to do with my life. I'm here to make ponies smile!" the pink filly said, slightly braver than before. She glanced at her cutie mark and continued, "So I think it would be best if I... if I... if.." she shivered, losing her voice.
"Yes, Pinkamena?" her mother questioned with curiosity.
"I think... I think I should leave the rock farm..." Pinkie's voice lowered and her head dropped even farther down, straining her neck. Her usually hyper self was replaced with her former disheartened nature, and her hair corresponded with the change. There, she said it. It was over with. Now all she needed was an answer.
Her mother was startled by Pinkie's statement. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung ajar, but nevertheless, she politely responded, "Pinkamena Diane Pie... leave the rock farm? Why would you want to leave?!"
"I think I want to go somewhere where I can make ponies happy. But here, I can't really do that. I need to go someplace else, where there are a lot of ponies I can be friends and have parties with! I can make ponies smile, and they would be happy, and then I would be happy!" Pinkie Pie said, trying desperately to persuade her mother to let her go.
Her mother sighed. She knew it would be both physically and mentally painful for the family if Pinkie left; they needed her hoof on the farm, but more importantly, they needed someone to make them happy. It was so hard to smile on the rock farm; the gloomy skies and dull clouds hovered above them and reflected the depression onto themselves. They were desolate and empty. There was no color in their life, except for a bright pink ball of fluff that brought joy to everypony. Without her, how would they cope? Would it be worth it? Or would it be selfish to make Pinkie stay? This was what Pinkie wanted... No. This was what Pinkie needed. It... it had to be done. It would be painful for everypony, but it had to be done.
A clear voice echoed throughout the room, accompanied with palpable pain and the inevitable tears to come, the origin being the saddened rock farmer who was about to give up her daughter. "As painful it is to say this, Pinkame- I mean... Pinkie, If this is really what you want, then I won't stop you. We can find a job for you somewhere, and maybe you'll feel complete." What she did not add was that although Pinkie would be complete, her family would be even more miserable and incomplete than before.
A single tear drifted down her mother's face, and sensing her mother's despair, Pinkie decided to comfort her mother, "Thank you, Mommy. Thank you so much. I will never leave you, though! You know why? I may not be here, but I'll always be in here." Pinkie said, placing her small hoof on her mother's chest, her hoof designated towards her mother's heart. "Don't ever forget me..." Pinkie said, she herself overcome with the prospect of leaving home.
"I won't, Pinkie, just don't forget to write. And don't forget your purpose. You are going to become something great, I just know it. I have faith in you, Pinkie. I love you," her mother said, acting strong beneath her dismal anguish. She was going to go.
She was going to go.
She was going to go.
And she would never come back.
-----
The rest of the family was equally horrified after hearing Pinkie Pie's news. They accepted it, but could not comprehend their emotions, either. They all knew it was for the best, but they also knew that their hearts would never fully recover.
It was significantly difficult for Inkie and Blinkie to say their goodbyes, knowing very well that Pinkie would never return. Pinkie had been with them their entire lives; she had united them with their first smiles, and had always been there to comfort the two sisters, who were always distraught and anxious. Their lives were a mundane series of moving rocks, keeping a dark perspective of everything, and failing to be happy. Nothing appealed towards them; their focus was entirely on the dreary rocks. Those rocks created a hard shell above both fillies, filling the ponies with a hollow heart and corrupting their brain into the belief that rocks were their one true worth, and bringing them into a drought of depression and loneliness. But when Pinkie Pie had thrown them their first party and taught them to smile, they began to see the wonders of the world beyond their insignificant rock farm. They learned to smile and love. Ever since then, Pinkie Pie had become a daily reminder to smile above the pain of moving rocks. She was their medicine, an indication that life was worth living, a guide away from their struggles with depression.
Now she was leaving.
She was going to leave, and then they would be alone again, forced to struggle with heavy rocks and heavy hearts.
"Inkie?" a depressing tone ringed out, the pony signaling her sister's attention.
"Blinkie." another filly confirmed, the holder pushing a single rock away from her and onto a larger pile of dark gray rocks. They were mocking her, those rocks...
"D-do you think she will ever come back?" the filly asked, both hope and the knowledge that it was an empty wish drove her to ask.
"I don't know, Blinkie... sometimes I think we should just forget and move on. Move on like how the rocks have to move..." Inkie stated, her voice shallow and coarse.
"But when we move the rocks from the East to the West Fields, we... we always move them back..." Blinkie said, a single tear rolled down her cheek, struggling to hope for her only true wish.
Inkie paused, stepped away from her rock, and silently walked over to her sister, her heart just as desecrate and hurt as her sister's.
She sat down next to Blinkie and silently wept alongside her sister. "I-I know it's hard... it's too hard to let go," Inkie consoled with empty hope. It was going to be difficult to say goodbye to Pinkie.
Blinkie did not respond, she instead sat there, leaning on her sister, and cried. Inkie couldn't stand to see her sister cry, but at the same time, she desperately wanted to cry as well. She instead just hugged her twin sister and silently wept herself. Her eyes strained from the cold weather building up in the sky, and the clouds became an even darker shade of gray. The rocks in the pile she had recently created fell over, dragging their hard edges in the ground just a few near inches away from herself. They fell over like her hopes, like her happiness, and she held Blinkie closer, trying to forget.
Rain began to gently fall, dripping through the rocks and landing onto the two sisters. They sat there in the cold, shivering and crying, grief hanging onto their hearts and grasping them, wanting to destroy their happiness.
Pinkie Pie was their happiness, and when she left, they were alone.
Alone.
Alone in the rain, beneath a pile of fallen rocks and fallen hopes.
In the distance stood a pink figure, silently gazing at her two sisters. She walked towards them, saddlebags hung from her back, and trotted through the muddy puddles forming from the storm. She passed a few rocks she knew by name. She passed the tree she had spent years trying to convince her sisters to climb in. She passed the large broken rock that stood on the peak of a cliff. But she passed more than just landmarks. She passed her memories. She had to move on. But she needed to say goodbye first.
She was only a few feet behind her two depressed sisters now. Their manes hung low, straight and wilting. Her throat was clogged with all the things she wanted to say, but she could only muster a few words. "I-I love you two..." her raspy voice drifted through the air, and the two sisters slowly turned their heads to reveal tear stained faces and empty hearts.
They didn't say anything. They just stood up, and slowly walked over to their pink sister. Inkie hugged her tightly, refusing to let go of her sister, of her joy, of her happiness. Blinkie stood and cried, unwilling to say goodbye.
"P-Pinkie... don't forget us!" Blinkie yelled through the pain, rain tickling down her hair, and she jumped up and hugged her sister, crying into her pink, fluffy mane.
"I never will. Just stay happy, for me, okay?" Pinkie said, acting more mature than she had ever done before. Tears streamed down the three sisters as they hugged, unaffected by the gloomy skies and pounding rain. This was their last moment together. Pinkie's hair, mingled with rain and the depressing moment, began to deflate once more and match her sisters' style. Her blue eyes sagged low, and her sisters sobbed into her hair.
"M-Maybe I can visit..." Pinkie said in vain. Her sisters silently nodded but did not speak, tears staining Pinkie's hair and pain staining her heart.
"I-I'm so, so sorry! I l-love you both, a-and I can't stand to see you sad. I-I'm going to be gone, but I won't at the same time! I-I'll be in your hearts. N-never forget me, but when you think of m-me... when you think of me, I want you to think of how h-happy I made you both. Don't cloud your memories of me w-with sadness about me leaving, instead... remember how fun I was while I... while I was still here. A-and don't ever forget that...that I love you both. " Pinkie forced her words in between sobs, devastated by saying goodbye to her sisters.
"W-we love you, too," they both whispered, crying and damp from the falling rain.
Pinkie Pie stood up, broke the hug, and stepped back. "Goodbye," she said, tears flowing even harder down her wet face, blending with the rain falling hard upon them.
She looked back, glanced once more at her sisters, and walked away.
The sisters watched her go, but did not follow. They stood there in the rain, watching the last remnants of their sister leave their grasp. The pink pony became a blurry speck in the distance, and soon enough, she was gone.
She was gone.
The rain continued to fall on the two ponies, and the rocks remained waiting to be moved. The clouds stayed dark, and their hearts were still empty. But as they wallowed under the dark skies, everything around them continued to revolve, regardless of the devastating departure of their sister.
Life continued to move, like the rocks in their fields, like the weather, like their sister. Nothing would stop for them, so they did not stop either.
They stood, through the pain, and walked away. Their eyes continued to pour tears, and the rain continued to fall, but they walked. They walked a long while, silently crying. They were walking nowhere, though. They were walking away from their happiness and the joyful pony they called a sister, yes. But now, they were walking in no direction. They were just walking through puddles and mud, without a goal or location in mind. They just walked. Rain splattered onto their coats, hidden beneath their gray colors. Tears flowed down their cheeks, and the clouds continued to shift, night peaking through the few gaps in the cloud layers. That day they walked away from their happiness, and walked towards a guide-less life. They were directionless. They were directionless without their sister.
So they walked.
Without direction.
Without purpose.
Without a sister.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- NTSTS · 8.4k words · 54 2 · 4.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.082 seconds
Total duration
997 users online
1,410,479 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Inky and Blinky (Inkie and Blinkie?) are sorely under represented on fimfiction. Good job!
inkie? blinkie? why the hell would they name them off of the freaking PAC- MAN ghosts
good story by the way
3725791 blame the fandom... XD
3725789
They aren't. It's the fanon name because Pinkamena Diane Pie is generally nicknamed in canon as Pinkie. Which means if there's a brother, it would likely be fanon named Clyde.
3727481 That mistake... always gets me
from now on I'm control f-ing my work for that!
Yeah, thanks for pointing that out, and thanks for enjoying!
3727370 Actually, their father is Clyde
3727522
Close enough.
Your descriptions are simply descriptions of what happened. Your writing doesn't breathe and quiver and spit and be alive.
3729854 Thank you for your advice, I'll try to energize the words instead of force them next time.
Much appreciated
3730382
Your concept isn't bad-- your execution could simply use a bit of polish. But write on.
I haven't cried in a fic for a very long time, not since I've read Bittersweet some months ago. This story bright tears to my eyes, not the most I've ever had for a fic, but my eyes were watering up. I felt the deep connection between the girls and it touched me because I have a sister who I never wanna lose. I wouldn't label it tragedy, more just sad.
Rating: 9/10
3732837 Thank you
However, I myself didn't find this to be a tearjerker but rather than a very-sad-makes-your-heart-hurt story. But yeah, I've tried other sad stories, like Roses Have Thorns and I think it was better than this, I just didn't get the feel in this one! But thank you for the praise
Alright, just finished the story and I have to say, I really like it. The emotions in this piece are tangible and relatable. Having a sibling move out can be pretty devastating at first. I really love your writing style, and though it's not without its problems, it's still very good. I'm surprised this story didn't get more attention, honestly. Even so, I have some suggestions for you to think about as well as some quick fixes I noted as I went along.
This isn't a word--remember, it's actually "learned".
I'm not entirely sure what's happening here. Maybe re-word this portion?
It's okay for a character to stutter every few sentences for effect, but try not to do it too often, like in Pinkie's little speech. It doesn't feel as realistic that way, and it starts to feel over-done. I'd also like to recommend taking out the italics for the last sentence of the story--it would have more of an emotional effect without it. Because the sentences are shortened and each are on their own line the reader can figure out that there's supposed to be an emphasis, but italics are over-doing it. It feels almost cheesy.
As a last note, which is specific to online fanfiction writing, might I suggest you space out each paragraph? This is perfectly fine in a published book, but when it's on a computer (or phone) screen it can feel a bit cramped and not be as comfortable to read. Personally, it can be a bit of an eye strain to read.
Other than all that, I think this is a wonderful story and you did a good job in writing it. This is far better than some other stories I've read with hundreds of likes. So, have a like, favorite, and even a watch on my part. You seem pretty cool, so I think you deserve it.
Best of luck and keep writing!
3747949 Thanks! I'll go and address those problems right now
3747949 Learnt's an accepted way of writing learned over here in the UK, or at least I'm sure it is...
Out of the window, flew away my feels. Because my feels are too much to hold in my mortal body.
Very emotional
I can see how much the Pie sisters care for each other ;o;