In a Coma and Flying High

by Magical Trevor

Chapter the Second

Author's Note:

This is probably the first and last time I'll post the Author's Notes at the beginning, so I'll keep it short. I'm trying something different this chapter, namely taking out what 'you' actually say. I just want to see if it flows better if 'your' dialogue specifically is taken out. If you don't watch my 'normal' blog, please know that there will be no updates on any of my stories for the next week, as Awesome Games Done Quick '14 is this week, going into next week, so... Yeah. Hope you enjoy this chapter! If there's a change in style you think would be better, feel free to suggest it, and I'll probably try it out! Anywho, have the second chapter!

“-and we got a large orchard called Sweet Apples Acre, and a-”

Okay, so based on the town name, you feel it’s safe to assume that these horses weren’t horses, but were ponies instead. Whatever. You weren’t one to judge, so what did it matter? At least, you don’t think you’re one to judge… What exactly was it that you don’t judge?

“Can you fill this out, sir?” the doctor asks, handing you a clipboard and pencil. “If we’re going to be seeing you some more, we’ll need to know more about your medical history, and-”

You grab the pencil with your claw before you look at the clipboard. Time to fill in some knowledge!

You frown as you start to read the lines, however. Your mother’s maiden name? Even if you could remember it, how does that help the doctor treat you? Favourite food? Where do you work? How the heck does any of this help?!

"Is something wrong, sir?" the doctor asks, moving to look over your shoulder. "Ah. Don't remember your mother's maiden name? That's no big deal; you can skip that for now. Wait a second... You haven't filled out your parents names either?"

The silence seems deafening as you struggle to think of how to explain that you don't remember anything without coming across as stupid. Luckily, you don't have to, because the little rambling pony, you guess she is, considering the name of the town, speaks up. “Are you an orphan?”

You open your mouth to answer, when you notice just how strange it feels. Why can’t you feel the ridges of your teeth? You look down so you can see your mouth, before realising that moving your head won’t help you see your mouth.

“Mister?” the pony asks, poking you in the arm. You look towards her, blinking in surprise as she hugs you tightly. “It’s okay, we’re orphans too. We won’t make fun of you.”

An orphan? Are you an orphan? You can’t remember anything about your parents, granted, but then again, you’re struggling to remember anything at the moment.

You look at the little pony before shrugging, not sure what else to say. If you can’t remember, you may as well not say anything, right? Better to stay silent than unintentionally lie, after all.

“Oh,” the doctor says, his face heating up a little. “In that case, I suppose you can’t know much about your family medical history. If you’re going to stay in Ponyville long, we’d advise you to set up a date for some blood work and a general check-up so we can try to see if there’s anything wrong with you. Otherwise, you’re free to go.”

Wait… doesn’t going to the doctor cost money? When you voice your concerns, however, about not having any money, the doctor laughs.

“I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but here in Equestria, healthcare is covered by taxes. Imagine if a disaster happened, and you lost your home? How would you pay to go to the clinic or hospital if you had to worry about where you’re going to live?”

Not only that, you muse, but it would also make the overall health of the citizens healthier, wouldn’t it? If you didn’t have to pay, then you’d go see the doctor when you first feel sick to get the right cure, and thus get better much quickly, hopefully. Worry about money and you’d wait longer, and then it might also take longer to get better.

“Anyway,” the doctor continues, snapping you back to reality, “if you aren’t going to be staying in Ponyville long, then I wish you sun-speed on your journey.”

You nod, not sure what else to say, seeing as how you can’t remember anything important. Still, you thank the doctor on the way out, not wanting to be rude.

You make your way outside, moving slowly as you concentrate on how you’re walking. Something feels off, but you can’t quite pinpoint what it is. Luckily, the gray pegasus from before shouts her suggestion for what might be the cause. “Dinky, you get down from his back right now!”

“But he can give me a real gryphon-back ride!” the pony on your back protests, now clutching your neck tightly. “I can’t pass up the opportunity! I’d regret it for the rest of my life!”

“I am so sorry,” the pegasus stammers, hovering next to you as she attempts to grab her sister. “She means no offence!”

Offence? You’re still trying to figure out how she got on your back without you noticing, and when! You shrug, only to have your wings flex instead.

You blink, staring at the feathered appendages. You noticed them earlier, granted, but that was under extenuating circumstances. You try to shrug again, and like before, your wings respond instead, moving up and down several inches. You try to extend them, and you’re not sure if you should be surprised when they do, though slower than you’d have liked.

“Wee! See, toldja he wouldn’t mind!” the pony on your back said, sticking her tongue out at her sister.

“That doesn’t mean you just hop onto somepony’s back like that without asking!” She turns to you, her eyes boring into yours with a strange intensity. “Please don’t get mad at her!”

Confused at why you would get so mad at a child playing, you instead ask what a gryphon-back ride is supposed to be.

“Oh. Well, uh,” the pegasus replies, ducking her head as her cheeks turn red. “It’s when you take a foal for a flight.”

But if a pegasus can fly as well, why isn’t it called a pegasus-back ride, then? Confused, you ask, only to get laughed at by the ‘foal’. You belatedly remember that a foal is the term for a young horse or, in this instance, pony. “Cause Gryphons are bigger and cooler and more funner than pegasuses, duh.”

“It’s pegasi, Dinky, not pegasuses!” her sister whinnies, her cheeks puffing out in what you assume is indignation. “I’ve told you a billion times!’

“Nu-uh!” the foal retorts, sticking her tongue out. “If you told me a billion times, then I’d be old by now.”

You can’t help but laugh at the young one’s audacity, quickly siding with her in the argument. The pegasus isn’t amused, however. “So what? You said you love it when I take you for rides, and now all of a sudden I’m not? You said I give great gryphon-back rides!”

“Yeah, but you’re not, you know, a Gryphon!” the foal points out in perfect logic.

You have to agree with the child. You explain to her sister that while she might be cute, being a Gryphon, you are bigger, and more powerful. Not to mention cooler.

“C-cute?” she replies, a blush forming on her face.

If that weren’t enough to make you realise what you just said, her sister pipes up too. “You think my sissy is cute?”

Before you can even open your… beak? That’s what it is, right? If you don’t have teeth, then that’s the only thing that makes sense. You promise yourself to find a mirror as soon as possible, if only to remind yourself what you look like. Regardless, before you can explain yourself, your vision suddenly turns pink. Bright pink.

You nearly fall on your back in shock, but beating your wings a few times helps you keep your balance, allowing you to fall back on all fours. Before you can ask who the strange pink mare was, and how she appeared out of thin air, you realise that she’s already talking. Or perhaps rambling is the better word… Yes, rambling is definitely the right word...

Author's Blurb:
So yeah, just let me know if you think the 'silent protagonist' is/will work out, or if you'd rather 'you' have actual speaking lines. I'm aiming to keep the chapters short, to help encourage me to write more often and update more frequently.Sorry if it's too short...

Comments

[Lucky424]

Yeah, silent works.

Also... dammit Pinkie!

[Seether00]

Silent is OK. Worked for rpgs

[Volscon]

"Not only that, you muse, but it would also make the overall health of the citizens healthier, wouldn’t it? If you didn’t have to pay, then you’d go see the doctor when you first feel sick to get the right cure, and thus get better much quickly, hopefully. Worry about money and you’d wait longer, and then it might also take longer to get better."

Subtle.

[Magical Trevor]

3794183

Either that, or you're looking too deep into things, and giving me far more credit than I deserve... Never know... Trust me, things seem black and white now, but, well... Just wait. X3