In a Coma and Flying High

by Magical Trevor

Chapter the First

It’s said that when you’re in a coma, you can sometimes hear everything around you; that you’re subconsciously aware of what everyone around you is saying, whether it be uplifting words of encouragement, or a doctor coming with bad tidings. Right now, though, you’re not sure if that’s true or not, because you couldn’t hear anything around yourself. Everything was pitch black. No sounds, no smells, no sensations. At least, you think you’re in a coma…

After all, there was only blackness everywhere you looked. Nothing was happening, and you felt tired, so it couldn’t be a dream, could it? You’re not sure what to think.

Thankfully, that lasted for maybe five minutes, if you had to guess the time. You take the thanks back, however, as pain lances through your arms and legs, your body instinctively curling up into the fetal position. You don’t know how long it takes for the pain to fade to a dull throbbing, but it sure feels like it's taking too damn long.

When the pain fades enough to be tolerable, you slowly open your eyes, protesting the bright lights around you. Closing your eyes swiftly, you wonder why it’s so bright. The sun shouldn’t have that much glare, should it?

Still, as you slowly let your eyes adjust to the brightness, lessening the tightness of which you kept your eyes closed, you couldn’t help but wonder, Where am I?

Finally able to tolerate the light, you slowly open your eyes to take a look around. You blink, then do a double take as you find yourself outside in the middle of a forest. “Okay... How the hell did I get here? The last thing I remember is… is...”

Sighing, you scratched the back of your head absently, before pausing, your hand still in your hair. You scratch very slowly, frowning as you concentrate on the feeling. You’re not sure what it is, but it feels… off. You bring your arm back down, only to stare at the claw in front of your eyes. You flex it slowly, trying to figure out what was wrong. It was scaled, and at the end of each digit were deadly sharp talons several inches long.

The more you flex them, though, the more you wonder what’s wrong. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with them. They’re not hurting, or stiff. So why do they feel off?

After staring at it for several long moments, you blink as you feel your tail twitch. Wait a second... Tail? Turning around, you look at your back, wondering if you had just imagined it. Belatedly, you notice that you’re sitting on your hind legs, making you a four-legged... Something. As you looked at your tail, you wonder, Is this just a dream? It doesn’t feel like a dream. But then why can’t I remember anything? But if I can’t remember anything, then why does something feel wrong? Just... stay calm, and you’ll wake up in no time. Yeah.

Having kept yourself from freaking out, at least for the time being, you analyze the rest of your body methodically, noting that you had two large, dark blue wings tucked against the sides of your body. The back half of your body some sort of a feline, since your hind paws had retractable claws, while the front of your body was covered in feathers. Frowning, you think aloud, “Okay, think. An eagle and a lion? Crap, think... Is that a Hippogriff, or a-”

You were jerked out of your thoughts when you heard a young kid shouting behind your back, “Sissy, sissy, look! It’s a Gryphon! A Gryphon’s at our picnic! Can I go play with her?!”

That sure got your attention! You sat straight up, your back stiff as your eyes flew wide open. You turn around slowly, your pupils dilating before you passed out from the sight before you. Not fifteen feet away were two ponies, both of whom were grey, which was a perfectly acceptable coat color for a horse. However, what overwhelmed your senses were how abnormally large their eyes were compared to their heads, as well as how the larger one answered the little one in plain English. “Muffin, I’ve told you before that it’s not nice to point at other ponies while ye-”

.o.O.o.

... And he’s been in this state ever since he was brought in, a male voice said, his voice strangely muffled. We’re not sure if he’s going to wake up or not. Has his relatives been contacted yet?

You realize that you’ve woken up, but only barely. You can’t seem to open your eyes, no matter how hard you try. After a moment, you realize that you must be drugged in some way, shape or form, because you can sense the pain in the background of your mind. Trying to ignore it once more, you concentrate your efforts on listening to the conversation around you.

No sir, we’re still looking for identification, a female voice replied, somewhere off to the left.

I see. Well then, let me kn-

The voice fades out as you slip back into unconsciousness, back into the loving embrace of sleep, though it didn’t seem very restful.

.o.O.o.

When you wake up again, you feel much better than when you woke up before. It was hard to tell just how drugged you were before, and you only noticed now because of their absence. The pain was still there as well, but it was no longer a sharp, stabbing pain, but rather a dull, achy pain, like a small headache. That was driven from your mind, however, when you heard more voices talking, different from before.

“Are you sure you don’t know anything else that could be of use, Miss Hooves?”

Cracking your eyes open, you wince at the bright light, but slowly adjust, and see the same two greyish ponies from before, as well as a tan one, and, after blinking, you realize that it’s wearing glasses, and has an orange afro. You struggle to figure out why that’s a problem, but you can’t seem to remember.

“I don’t know what went wrong!” the grey horse protested, her eyes starting to water. “I told you everything I know! and I were going to our special picnic place, and he was there already, just sitting there.”

“Yeah! And then I told sissy I saw a Gryphon, and asked if I could play with her, and then she turned around and went to sleep, and I said ‘Aww, she’s taking a nap? But I wanted to play!’ And then Dit rushed over to her, and-”

The little one stopped talking as the older sister put her hoof over the other’s mouth. You open your mouth to speak, but instead several coughs come out, your throat completely dry.

As glass is thrust into one of your hands, you blindly start to gulp down the refreshing liquid, your eyes shut tight from the force of your coughs. After draining the glass in seconds, you gasp for breath, grateful that you weren’t hacking out your lungs anymore. When you open your eyes, you see the small purplish-grey horse right in front of your face. “Gah!”

Taken by surprise, you scramble back a little bit, banging your head against the backboard of the bed. As you wince, your claw rushes to cradle the now-throbbing injury, the horse was quick to apologize. “Oops. S-sorry mister, I didn’t mean to startle you! I just wanted to apologize for calling you a girl before. Can you forgive me?”

As you open your eyes again, against the pain, you notice once more how abnormally large their eyes seemed to be. Wait a second… Why do you think their eyes are abnormally large? Were they supposed to be smaller? Why should they be smaller? For that matter, how large were you own eyes?

As you stared into the black, watery depths that were her eyes, you realized that there was no possible way you could remain angry at it. “Y-yeah, sure, whatever.”

You wince from the sudden shout in front of you, as she started to jump around in what appeared to be excitement. “Yay! Thank you! Hey, now that you’re awake, you can play with me now, right? Pretty please?”

The small horse was caught by the older sister, frantically shushing her before looking back to you, smiling nervously. “S-sorry. She gets excited very easily.”

“Don’t worry about it, she’s just a kid,” you mutter back, still too disoriented to be too upset at the child’s energy. “W-where the he-”

You pause, glancing from the older sister to the younger, and then back again, feeling your face heat up slightly as you chastise yourself about almost cursing in front of a kid. “Eheh… Umm, where am I, exactly?”

The tan horse with the strange-looking orange afro frowned for half a second before it disappeared, making you wonder if you imagined it or not. “You’re in Ponyville, Equestria.”

E… questria? Frowning in thought, you try to deconstruct the word. Let’s see… E… electronic? Quest is… straightforward, but ria? The only thing that ria even vaguely reminds you of is a nickname for Maria, but that doesn’t make much sense, considering the circumstances. Then again, your deconstruction of the word didn’t make much sense either, so you focus instead on the town name, only to blink as you forgot what it was already. “Err… Whatville again, sorry?”

“Ponyville!” replied the small horse, grinning widely from underneath the other's wing. “We have a libary, and a carousel that isn’t really a carousel, and a gingerbread house that you can’t eat, and-”

Pony… ville… That… doesn’t help at all. Well frick.

Author's Note:

So yeah! My first attempt at a second-person story, so sorry if I’m focusing on the wrong things to be immersive. If you have any advice past “This sucks!”, please leave it below so I can make this better. I first started writing this almost two years ago, then stopped because… I don’t remember why. I saw this in my google docs and figured why not? So yeah! Hope this isn’t a sucktacular start to a story.

I am in search of an editor for this story, especially one who specializes in tense usage, as I'm not used to present tense writing for stories. If you'd like to volunteer, shoot me a P.M. Thanks!

Comments

[FicusCat]

Mmm, curious to see where it goes, the concept is pretty original compared to the usual.

[Lucky424]

YOU SUCK!!!

Can't wait to see where this goes. Oh, and I'll take a look for you, even if my grammar and spelling skills aren't that high.
Still, I think I'm up on the 'Milly-speak' enough to understand Dinky.

[Sneaky Breeze]

This story

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