Trust is a funny thing. For Fluttershy it is rarely given, if ever at all, though there are some things she simply cannot bear to admit beyond herself. But then, Discord has never asked anypony's permission to take what he wants, has he? Even if it's a secret. So he watches as she copes with her addiction with increasingly brutality even towards those she once so fervently fought for, and waits for just the right moment to expose her.
But not because he wants to, mind you.
Originally written for the Equestria Daily Writing Training Grounds.
Chapters (1)
I would like you to expand this.
Nicely done! A few typos here and there, but I like the look at things from Discord's perspective.
Hadn't thought of the bats as *actual* fruit, rather than simply looking like it for camo.
3718010 In what way?
3718042 Thank you for the compliment, and I apologize for the errors. They'll be swiftly corrected once I find the little bastards. And the timberwolves are actual wood. Windigos are wind. That rockadile was very clearly actual rock. I think it stands to reason that Equestria thrives on being literal.
3718432
I'm in agreement with expanding this, and in what way I mean making an actual story of it. Your writing style is unique and honestly I love the whole theme of it.
3718432 Make a full length sequel, add chapters to this, stuff like that.
It was really great idea to write it from Discord's point of view. It made this story really exceptional and interesting
I'd like you to expand this, too!
It's too bad you didn't get to submit this. It's excellent. I see some comments encouraging you to expand on this, and I'd have to side with them.
Wat? Lol I'm so confused right now I'm thinking your a philosopher or English teacher in college. You have successfully reduced my brain to jelly, a feat usually only accomplished by over thinking time travel/ doctor who
3739182 Erm, in a good way, I hope?
Jellied brains are never my intention.
3726750 3721062 3720406 3719676 Well, as the saying goes, "give the crowd what they want," though I confess I've not much of an idea how. At the moment I'm busying myself with two different fictions, but if there's this much want for expansion, I'll come back to it once I know can do your expectations justice. Thank you all for your support.
3741836 lol good, slightly comical way. Besides, I like jelly
3741836
Go ahead and focus your other two fics first, I'm a Patient Pony
This story is awesome!!!!!
Hrm.
On the whole, the story is pretty good. I love this take on Flutterbat.
The take on Discord, however - well, I only really disagree with this one line:
Now, my normal response is something along the lines of 'Discord prefers not to have his toys broken' (because defending Discord as a decent being is just too difficult), but here you give me something else to go on.
If I understood correctly, Discord feeds on conflict, yes? Now, even if we assume that the 'conflict' of a life-or-death struggle is simply better than other forms, sacrificing quantity for quality, especially in a scenario which could plausibly lead to his being denied access to large portions of his overall supply, simply makes no sense. Even if you factor in 'chaos', acting against his own interests is perfectly needless.
3753919
Well thank you. I always aim to please.
3764404
I thought of it more as he's lamenting the dichotomy that would stem from the warring halves of a more cannibalistic Flutterbat and reluctant Fluttershy, than the actual spectacle of gore.
Interesting take on both Discord's worldview and Flutterbat,
The way you began the story was wonderful, I absolutely loved it. Thank you for writing such an entertaining story.