• Published 1st Jan 2014
  • 6,872 Views, 69 Comments

Towards Some Greater Dawn - Cynewulf



Twilight must come to grips with what it means to be an alicorn, and what it does not mean, while her friends wait for her to return.

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Towards Some Greater Dawn, or The First of the Year

It is the last night of the year, and Applejack sits waiting for the dawn at the door of Ponyville’s library. It is three thirty in the morning, right at the balancing point between light and dark, when night is beginning to contemplate its last retreat. Exhaustion is pulling at her legs and eyes and head, reminding her of the softness of Twilight’s couch and the open invitation to blankets and pillows. Her body complains but does not rebel. She has kept it trained and toned and ready for vigils such as this one.


The streets of Ponyville are silent, the storefronts and houses as mute as graves. Manehattan may stay up, but a small town moves at a more sustainable pace. There are no lights on, and yet still she feels as if the whole world is holding its breath, as if each mote of dust is looking up and waiting for Twilight just as Applejack is waiting for Twilight.


Applejack will know what has happened when the sun comes up.


There are six ponies in the library tonight. Applejack waits outside in the quiet. Luna sits on the balcony and looks away. Rainbow lies in Twilight’s bed, and Rarity watches over a book, the warmth of her tea providing what comfort it can. Pinkie is wandering, and Fluttershy is struggling to stay awake. Spike is in the basement. Applejack cannot hear any of the others, however, and so for all intents and purposes she is alone in the darkness.


Twilight and Celestia are also alone, she reflects, and looks down to the saddlebag at her side. Yes, very alone, even if there are two of them. She has no idea how far out they are. They could be only a mile off. They could be halfway across the world. Of course, it does not really matter. Even had Twilight not begged them to keep away, even if Celestia had not put down the wards they all knew she would, Applejack still would not have interfered. Some things a mare has to do on her own, and help would only spoil the process. She supposes that when a pony finds herself with wings, she has to start learning on her own.


From the pouch, she produces the pipe that Twilight has enchanted for her. She chuckles, looking at it, at how the tiny runes glow at her touch as if they recognize their maker’s name on Applejack’s tongue, waiting to be called.


“Twilight, you never were afraid of any of this,” she says to the air. Applejack needs only to fill the bowl; the pipe sets its own light, and she puffs, letting the charring light do its work. It does not last long, dying away and leaving only a tiny trail of smoke. The runes still glow their blueish light, casting her in strange half-shadows, though Applejack cannot see this.


Magic never seems to bother Twilight. Not once had she ever paused and considered what it was and what it did. No, Applejack takes that back, because it isn't quite right. Of course Twilight is knowledgeable, and of course she isn't completely reckless. Not always. Sometimes, yes, but more times than not she considered what she did.


Rather Twilight sees magic and all of what it means and never turns away from it. At least, that was how it seems. Twilight had always asked how far it would go, and how much it would cost, but the answer had never seemed to faze her. It is beautiful to watch, she admits. It worries her. The sentiments coexist.


The self-lighting pipe glows blue and orange. She expels the smoke--her favorite blend, Longbottom, a gift from Twilight at Hearth’s Warming--and watches it dissipate as the winter air steals its warmth.


She imagines them out there, in some clearing in the Everfree perhaps. She dares not name what it is they do, because she isn’t sure what form it takes, and only guesses the outcome with certainty that leaves her feeling ill at ease. It is not good, what is coming. Not in that she can be happy about it or look forward to it. The dawn brings something sad, something that she cannot even begin to name her guesses about, for fear that naming it would make it happen.


But behind her, in the library, Fluttershy is yawning on a red couch, thinking about how soft and comfortable it is, how easy to sleep on. She considers sleeping even now as her tired eyes trace Pinkie’s path along the paneled floor. Back and forth, back and forth, like a coin lulling her into hypnotic sleep.


“Pinkie?”


Pinkie is there with the characteristic speed that not even anxiety can sap. “Yes?”


“Should I stay up?”


Pinkie cocks her head to one side. “Hm? You mean, until…”


Fluttershy nods and yawns again.


“Well… why wouldn’t you?” Pinkie asks. Fluttershy sees now that Pinkie, too, is as tired as she. In her own way, Pinkie is struggling against the pull of bed, keeping herself moving. She twitches and taps her hooves.


“I’m having a little difficulty here,” Fluttershy responds, managing a sort of lazy chuckle. “My eyes don’t want to stay open.”


“Hm. Well… why don’t you get up?”


Fluttershy looks, eyebrows arched, and lets the seeming insanity ponies who were not Pinkie to be moving about right now speak for itself.


“Oh. Well… you know what? Why don’t you close your eyes for a moment, and I’ll bring you something.”


Fluttershy hears the command and doesn't bother to question it, laying her head on the upholstery and passing out in minutes, free of her responsibility.


Pinkie finds coffee in Twilight’s kitchen and hums as she locates the little enchanted apparatus that grinds and brews the beans. She is glad for magic. Magic is a way of breaking all the rules without hurting anything or anypony. It’s like breaking the rules for good. Magic is important to Twilight, and what her friends love, Pinkie also comes to love and so she accepts it without deeper questioning as she accepts the whole world.


But while the coffee prepares itself, Pinkie notices the door leading down to the basement is ajar, and she pauses. Her song stops midbar and without resolution. The darkness in that small space calls to her--though she is not sure why. Ah, she feels it now. Pinkie sense. Hoof twitch, hoof twitch, ear twitch--she’s sure of it. Right, that obviously means to go down and see if Spike is alright. That is how she justifies her whim and gathers her courage.


She spares no look back; Fluttershy will be alright. She’s not likely to miss much if Pinkie is quick.


Carefully, carefully, Pinkie pushes the door open and cringes at how it creaks loudly. “Twilight needs to put some grease on those hinges,” she mutters and takes the steps two at a time, but does not hum. Humming seems a bit much, even for her. She will hum when she goes back for Fluttershy, up where it’s bright and warm.


The basement is lit by candelabras and is cold. Twilight has kept it clean… or rather, Spike has kept it clean with diligence at her command and occasionally despite her distracted neglect. In many ways, as he has grown older in Ponyville, it has become his home, his lair, his trove of personal effects. He is the one who has set the candles and has lit them all with the fire he has practiced creating in the sanctuary of the library’s former archives. Twilight doesn’t need her makeshift lab every day, after all.


Spike hears Pinkie walking. His reptilian ears catch the variations in each lightly echoing hoofstep, but he does not turn. He wishes to turn, but he does not.


Pinkie comes to him and he still does not look, even when he knows that it is her by the heavy aroma of baked goods mixed with the surprisingly light and flowery scent that is Pinkie. His senses are sharp, as he is quick to remind his friends. Strangely sharp. Even where another reptile falters, a dragon defies category.


“Hey, Pinkie.”


She stops right behind him. “Well, heya!” she replies, perhaps a bit too cheerfully, but Spike does not mind.


“Whatcha doing down here? Kinda cold,” he adds quietly. Before him, the candles illuminate Twilight’s letter. It is for him alone. He has read it so many times that it reverberates in his head and engraves itself on his heart with steel, and he shall never get it off.


“Well…” The truth is, she realizes, that she has no real logical motivations. Why? Rarity and Fluttershy are closer to Spike then she. Not to say that they don’t have fun, because they do. They have shared many moments in the sun. But she realizes now, as she stammers, that it is Rarity’s bosom in which he cries. “You’re down here all alone.”


“Well, I guess that is true.”


“It… I guess that’s reason enough!” She tries to finish strong, and he does nod in acknowledgement, as if it is indeed reason enough. Pinkie stands there awkwardly, her brain racing. For once, perhaps for the first time, she is without a clue as to what to do.


“I made some coffee,” she says, a bit hesitantly. Pinkie will not give up. Like an emperor in the Stalliongrad snow, she refuses to go back home and leave the prize unwon. “Thought you might want some. Um… Fluttershy is upstairs too,” she is quick to add, gaining a bit of momentum. “Rarity could come down too! We’re all up and being alone down here… I mean, aren’t you lonely?”


“Very,” Spike says.


“Well… only because you want to be!” Pinkie insists.


Spike finally turns around, eyes hard. But he pauses. It occurs to him where he is, and how she has come alone, and when he wants to tell her she doesn’t understand, it occurs to him that she too is missing family.


“Sit with me a moment?” he asks, and she does so without a moment’s hesitation.


“A letter?” she asks, gesturing.


He nods. “From Twilight,” Spike explains, and then folds it up quickly. “Do you miss your family, Pinkie? I mean, you can go home, but it’s not really the same anymore, is it?”


“No,” Pinkie replies quickly. “It’s not.”


“I mean, what do you do with that? How do you go back? Do you go back? She’s… I mean, she’s not my mom,” he says, and it is very quick, like a scraping of a claw on a blackboard. She flinches, and Spike realizes that he’s spoken loudly, and brings his voice down again. “She’s… I mean, she’s not really my sister. But whatever we were, it worked, you know? It works. I mean, it did a week ago. But now it’s… it’s all weird.”


“Why?”


Spike gives her a look.


But Pinkie shakes her head. “No, seriously! It’s not really that different. I mean, sure, Twilight gets wings. But you got over that, and life kept on chuggin’ along.”


“Yeah, but wings and a growth spurt are one thing. This… this is something different. It’s kind of bigger, Pinkie.”


She nods. “I know. But what I’m saying is that Twilight is still Twilight. You’re still Spike. You’re different every day…” She falters, her mind reaches out and grasps at thoughts. “But you’re always still Spike and Twilight. You’ll adjust to this.”


He sighs. “Maybe.”


But when Pinkie tugs at him, he stands and leaves the lonely sanctuary behind. The smell of coffee is in the air. Twilight is still absent, and the strangeness of that smell without her presence makes him smile despite himself. That won’t change, at least. She’ll be wanting her coffee as strong as magic and agriculture can make it, same as always.


And as Pinkie is pouring him a cup and humming once more, Luna is staring out at the stars and wondering at how the constellations have shifted since she was imprisoned. They have shifted since the days when she was smaller and younger, born out of the primordial singing fires of Creation itself, blazing glory onto a humble new world. She watched the stars then as she does now, with less sorrow and with just as much anxiety. The possibility of possibilities, that there might be something or may not be, it wounds her even now as she refuses to look at the horizon where the sun will be rising soon.


Of course, it has to happen. The sun cannot rule forever; the night must pass. The sun will come up, and Luna knows that she will lose her strength and collapse in tears and pleas. She knows they will be useless, and that she will burn with shame and not care until later, when she is back in Canterlot in the safety of her own chambers.


Luna will not look because she does not think she can, not without trying to intervene. She cannot, she knows this. Or, rather, she must not. Because she can intervene, of course. Luna is Songborne and powerful the same as her sister Celestia is. Celestia won their duel long ago, but Luna won many of their sparring bouts before that fateful night. She knows, in her heart of hearts, that she can break any barrier a distracted and distressed Celestia could put up to stop her--and she knows very well that Celestia is also thinking these thoughts, perhaps even hoping her sister will be unable to bear it and break the law of the Nature of Things.


But Luna has learned her lesson. She will not warp the world around her whims again. She wishes to. She wishes to take Twilight out of her sister’s grasp and take her far, far away.


Luna does not want to lose anything anymore. The years have taken too much. Far, far too much. They took the stars of her childhood and turned them into new patterns that she recognizes but does not yet love as she should.


A lonely princess curses the nature of her thousand year sleep.


Down at the front door, Applejack has not yet finished the bowl. She watches the smoke rise, and replays the events of the week.


Twilight was called away by letter. Urgent business. Strange, but not distressing. It happens now and then. She is an important pony, after all. Usually, her friends are also called, but not always. Celestia tried not to pull Applejack from her farm during harvest and planting.


But Twilight had stayed away for days with no word. Her friends had met, staring into their cups, all feeling a foreboding that seemed out of place in the festive air between Hearth’s Warming and New Years. The last days of the year had been passing them by, and Twilight had been nowhere to be found. Spike had received no letter either, and Rarity had lovingly bullied him into sleeping on her couch. None of them wanted him to be alone.


And they’d waited and waited, and finally Spike had burst into Rarity’s bedroom sobbing and the story had come bubbling out. Twilight had to do something. Something important. Something that Celestia needed her to do, and one of them might not come back.


Nothing more. Applejack had wondered about that letter. She figures Spike knew what was up, but she won't press him. He said his bit, she figures, and puffs again. It simply won’t do to bother the poor kid any more about it if he don’t want to elaborate, after all.


But she still has her suspicions. Twilight had been specific about this night being the night “It” would happen.


Applejack thinks that the Twilight who comes back may not be their Twilight, but some greater, brighter, more distant Twilight. The kind that sits on thrones and moves suns.


Applejack removes the churchwarden from her mouth after a long breath and blows shaky smoke rings with a tiny smile. Little things are easier to focus on, and she appreciates their simplicity.


In Twilight's room, Rarity is also appreciating the merits of simple things.


Rarity’s simplicity comes in the form of tea, her own private practice of meditation, valid as Applejack’s, if slightly less aromatic. She considered coffee, but Twilight’s blends were all too dark for her tastes and so she had been pleased with the black tea she’d found.


A book hangs before her, but she pays it little mind except to find the ironies of life ridiculous as always. To the Stern God of the Sea, a gripping and voluminous melodrama. Who would choose such a thing, surrounded as she was by the suffocating air?

The answer was, of course, that it had been lying there on her table and she’d been putting it away when Applejack had come to collect them and she’d realized how late the hour had gotten and simply lost track of what she was doing.


She does not read the words on the page. She has already read this story many times, of course, and always loves its mix of the vulgar and the noble, but she cannot bring herself to indulge. Her brain will not focus. Her eyes drift.


Rainbow is their goal. The late hour drives Rarity to distraction, and she loses track of time, but her eyes never lose track of her lover sprawled out on Twilight’s starry bed.


It’s strange, she admits, admiring Rainbow in another mare’s bedroom. But the hour is late, and the circumstances extraordinary, and so Rarity decides that it isn't so bad. The view is nice. If nothing else, it keeps her awake. It is important that she stay awake. If Twilight is to come with the morning, Rarity simply must be there to greet her, come glory or simply a strong urge for coffee. It is all the same to her.


"Awake?" she asks quietly, unsure as to why. But the air is still, and she likes that she has broken its monotony with more than just the aroma of tea and the glow of her magic.


"How could I sleep with Twilight in trouble?" Rainbow speaks. Her back is to the window. Rarity runs her dressmaker's eyes over every feather she sees, admiring them, thinking how strange it is to be awake so late with nothing to work on.


"We don't know that, dear."


"Uh, did you not hear that part about not coming back?"


"I do," she says quietly, setting her book aside. "But I also know that Twilght can handle herself. She has the princess with her, remember?"


"What are they even doing?" Rainbow continues. There's no fire or frustration in her voice to Rarity's ear. She is exhausted. They are all exhausted, and with that thought comes another, and Rarity wonders if the others have managed to stay awake.


"We don't know," she admits, "but that doesn't mean that they are helpless without us. It's quite too late, anyhow. Whatever comes, we must be prepared for it. Twilight will need us awake, if only long enough to give her what comfort we can."


"Gonna be useless like this," Rainbow mutters. "We coulda just woken up early."


"Yes, we could have. But you said you couldn't sleep."


Rainbow grumbles.


"I heard that," Rarity says, smiling. "Come now, love, there's not much time left to be in suspense... Twilight will be back soon."


"She better."


"She will," Rarity says, a bit too forefully. She leaves her book on the chair and stretches. The bed does look comfortable... very comfortable. She could not sleep at midnight, but that was hours ago, and now her body has begun to revolt. All it takes is a look at a reclining Rainbow and her imagination--inhibitions burned away in the moonlight--run wild with the remembered sensations of warmth and comfort of a thousand nights.


"I am rather cold..."


"Hm?"


"Nothing," she says quietly. Twilight won't mind, really. It's not like they plan to go gallavanting in their friend's bed. Yes, it is quite alright. She wanders over and crawls in behind Rainbow.


"Thought I was big spoon," Dash grumbles.


"You are. Now turn over."


There is a chuckle, and the pegasus complies. Rarity revels in the warmth, just as her imagination had promised, and in the feel of Rainbow's breath on her neck and shoulder. She sighs.


"I love you, Rainbow," Rarity says, more quietly than before. "Are you sleepy?"


"Not as much as I should be."


"Becuase I'm going to lose consciousness in about three minutes if I don't move."


"I... are you asking me to make you move?"


Rarity snorts. "No, Dash, I am certainly not. I know you haven't gone so far into the land of dreams as to forget where you are. I would like to sleep. Don't fall asleep, if you could be so kind? Just keep me warm. I'm freezing." She snuggles closer, smiling and closing her eyes. "It sneaks up on you, doesn't it?"


Rarity yawns, and Rainbow Dash holds her, nuzzling into her shoulder.


Rainbow considers talking, but figures that her girlfriend could use some shut eye. Maybe. If nothing else, Rainbow doesn't really feel inclined to wake her, so the point is moot. Her own mind wanders aimlessly. It doesn't sit right, leaving Twilight to face something big all by herself. Every other challenge she's faced with her friends. They do things together.


Applejack, below her, is thinking much the same thing. How they're a unit, a family. It doesn't sit right with an Apple, letting a family member go off to face something life-changing on their own.


But, as the enchantment tamps the tobacco down slightly and relights it, Applejack considers that that's the reason she stays up, facing the east, waiting for the sun. Twilight's isolation is short, but life is longer.


And while this is happening, Twilight herself is standing in a clearing in the Everfree while her life is falling apart before her very eyes.


"I can't do it," she breathes. "I can't, Celestia."


"You must."


"I don't have to do anything," she shoots back. Politeness is out the window. It is late, and she is tired, and she has run out of options and time. Twilight feels foolish, like an investor who has had the rug pulled out from underneath her and thrown out into the wet streets.


"Nothing gold can stay, Twilight," Celestia murmurs. She is old, old as the hills and perhaps a little older. Time goes slowly for her, but it does not stop. She sighs, and the sigh echoes as if it has built for years and years. Perhaps it has. "Twilight, you have to take it."


Twilight stares at the crown that hangs in midair between them.


"But... but you'll..."


"Die," she says, hard as iron. "I'm going to die, Twilight."


"But you can't. You won't. Dying isn't something you do. It's impossible."


Celestia locks eyes with her. Twilight erects walls and builds castles out of sand and her Princess, her mentor, her teacher, is a wave that comes and annihilates them without a single shred of mercy. She cannot be merciful. She must not. Twilight is unwilling, like impure iron. She cannot let Twilight hope. Selfishly, but also unselfishly, because Twilight should do it because she realizes the truth.


"But... what will I do?"


Celestia sighs again. "Twilight... Twilight, look at me."


Twilight does so. She has no more tears. She has wasted them all this week, leading up to this last night of the year. Her cheeks are matted even now, sprinkled with dried salt deposits. She knows--Celestia knows it and Twilight knows it and there is no place to hide for the first time in Twilight's life--she knows that there is no way around it. She has a choice, but she will only pick the option that Celestia wants her to. It's just a matter of time. The endgame is already begun.


"Twilight," Celestia begins, each word like a brick in a high wall, "I am not a god. I am very, very old. I am very tired. My time is coming, and even if we fly home together tonight, it will still come. If I do not give this to you, then it will vanish forever. The sun will find its equilibrium, yes. But the moon will still be in the orbitit has been. There will be chaos. Ponies would not be destroyed, but we know how they overreact."


"End of the world," Twilight says and sniffles. "I can't just... wait?"


"Something like that. And no, you cannot. Would waiting really help? If I let the moment pass now, one of us or both of us will let it pass again, and again, and again."


"I'm scared," Twilight admits. "It's not right. It's so... it's so bad, Celestia. I'm like... I'm like the adult who has to grow up while the children stay behind and I move on and my friends just... How am I supposed to go back? What do we do? How do I look at them again?"


"Twilight, don't you love them?"


She was wrong; the tears do come again. "Of course I do! I'm going to kill you, and I can't go back to them after that!"


"You're not killing me," Celestia says, her voice even.


Twilight does not answer.


"Twilight. May I tell you a story?"


Twilight nods.


"I was disconsolate when my sister Aurora died. Did you know that? It was a long, long time ago, closer to the beginning of things. We have the gift of life, Alicorns. We create it. She gave her body to create the race of Pegasi, as I've told you. And it was good! But I was completely shut off from the world. I cried for a week straight, lying around. Luna had to bring me food and beg me to eat. She had been the mare I had always wanted to call mother."


Twilight's ears drooped. "Oh..."


"Twilight, she was at peace. She wanted to leave. Not because she didn't love me. But because it was time. There was a greater dawn, a new day, and before it came she felt that she needed to help it come. Does that make sense?"


"No."


"I thought it might not. What I'm trying to say... Twilight. Twilight, I love you. We have been many things. Teacher and student. Friends. I watched you grow into a beautiful young mare."


"But you can't watch me get any older?"


"No, I can't, Twilight. I wish to. I wish to with all of my heart. But the sun has to set."


Twilight looks down at the ground, and there is a long silence.


"How will I go back?" She asks. "I feel like... like if I take this, it'll be too much. They were so willing to treat me like royalty, Celestia. I hated it. I felt like we were being forced apart. It's not fair."


"And life isn't. But tell me, Twilight. Do you love your friends?"


"Of course!" she says, her eyes blazing as she looks up.


"What's to stop you? I, too, have friends, Twilight. I have had many, many friends. Including you. Age and time have not conquered me, nor have they ruined my love. They will only destroy yours if you let them. Love is not something that breaks with time. Affection wanes, but love may not until it is set down..." Celestia pauses. She feels the ground shift beneath the conversation. She feels the momentum shifting, the slow and inexorable march of Twilight's love working out her teacher's salvation in fear and trembling. She knew it would come to this. But now the time is almost upon her, and she is afraid.


But she continues because her eyes are locked with Twilight's and she mustn't look away. "Twilight, love is patient. Love is kind. It keeps no record of wrongs, because it forgives a multitude of them. It waits and it watches, it is very painful, and it hurts to hold. If you love your friends, then you will not let go at all, no matter how much it seems like a good idea, like the distance is too great, like it's an inconvience. Inconveience is a word ponies use to excuse themselves before they murder, Twilight." Celestia takes a deep breath. "So don't do it. Be the Twilight I'm proud of, the one I love very, very much."


Twilight slumps. She is defeated now. Celestia is only mopping up.


"I wish the world were different," Twilight says.


"As do I. I often wish that. I would not ask you to do this in a thousand lifetimes if I did not think it were the only way."


"Duty?" Twilight asks, giving her a half smile. "My favorite word."


"No. Love, Twilight. I've lived too long as Princess to let them go. And you will too if you wish."


"I don't want to outlive them all."


"Then don't," Celestia says, playing her last card, gesturing widely to reveal an empty hoof. "Then live until you, too, know it is time for the sun to set, and give your crown to the student you love, who comes to you in the small of the night when you are weary and afraid. Do as I have done. Do or do not."


"So it just... continues?"


Celestia seems lost. "Do or do not, either way, regret," she says to herself. "What lies beyond the great gulf of death is hidden even from me."


Twilight is quiet.


"Please," Celestia finishes. She is back. "Please, Twilight, as you love me, you will not let me hurt my little ponies. I love them. Love them as I love them."


It takes Twilight thirty more minutes to take the crown. Thirty minutes of complete silence.






Applejack sees the sun first. Inside, Pinkie and Fluttershy and Spike share coffee on the couch. Pinkie has woken the lovebirds and roused them from their nest with caffeine and the promise of some companionship.


Applejack sees the light coming as she is emptying the Longbottom's ashes from the churchwarden, and she smiles, shading her eyes.


She does not call her friends right away. Not yet. She will in a moment. Just a moment more.


But first, she only watches, knowing that Twilight is over that way, and that this sun is different from the old sun in a way she cannot describe; this dawn is a new dawn.


Applejack wonders if it isn't a greater dawn, after all. At the very least, it's good enough for her. Because Twilight is good enough, with or without uncertainty. It's enough for right now.


She pokes her head in the door, and smiles at the crowded friends.


"Sun's up, y'all. Twilight's comin' home."

Author's Note:

This is a Churchwarden. I have a Michellin and Thomas one. I thought of mine.


I know it's weird.


Thanks.

Comments ( 69 )

Will read when not drunk.

3714372 An excellent sentiment, one I must applaud

3714377 20 second reply time? Thats a new academy record!

Why can't i be funny sober?

A good night to all, and to all shut the hell up im going to bed.

Ah, the new story! I'll give this one a read sometime.

3714414 Well. *A* new story. The one I mentioned was The Sickness Unto Death... this one kind of just

happened

like I finished it literally tonight and sort of just breathlessly realized I didn't want to wait because it's kind of... I dunno. New Years related?

3714422
Hey, the most recent fic of mine was the same thing. I totally understand. XP

Spotted two mistakes.

that she can break nay barrier a distracted and distressed Celestia could put up to stop her

But the moon will still be in the orbitit has been

How to Steal Centuries and other Tales of Unorthodoxy

Odd. I went on a Device Heretic fic binge earlier today/yesterday.



And, of course, happy new year. New (ish) beginnings, and a few months of getting used to writing /14 at the end of dates.

3714445 As did I, actually. I'm pleased you noticed that.

3714450 He's a great writer. It's a shame he left, but each to his own.

*sniffles* I-I'll give this story a like. But I WILL NOT favorite it! I-I just can't!!!:raritydespair: It's just too sad!!!:raritycry::applecry: I-in the end, Twilight must, if not kill, witness the death of her mentor, her second mother, the one who meant the WORLD to her (aside from the other mane 6 and even Luna)!!!:raritycry::applecry::raritycry::pinkiesad2::raritycry:

3714549 it is sad, isn't it?

I'm sad too.

The notes have sat in my phone.

But hope doesn't die so easily, I think. There is always another day.

3714597 You're right. Life continues. Anyway, despite being sad and depressing, it was quite well writen. A grammar error here and there. But, then again, it's difficult to make an error proof story. Stil, a well writen story.

Oof. Having to be the one to remove such a big part of your life has to be one of the hardest things to do.

How to Steal Centuries and other Tales of Unorthodoxy

Heh, considering that those stories focus on a certain two characters coming together makes this reference feel... not quite ironic I guess but, well, something given the circumstances going on here.

Romance tag feels out of place here to me; the only shipping focus I saw was the RariDash and that felt too minor to warrant the tag, unless I missed something. I got a little AppleTwi vibe going on, though that may just be my sleep deprived brain reading into things.

This was a lovely story, have a like.

Ah, the late night vigil. This was the perfect thing to read here in the gloaming pre-dawn light of a new year's morn. The logic side of my brain cries out, demanding a reason for what Twilight is having to do, but the rest is content that it "must be" and really enjoyed the melancholy you've painted around it. All I could think of was the chorus to "Waiting Is The Hardest Part." The phrase itself, more than the rather upbeat feeling of the song though.

3715354 it is, slightly. If I had to do it again, it'd not be there. I think those vibes aren't unwarranted. If I had it over again the suggestion of Twilestia having perhaps been possible would have been more than a line or two, also.

Irony. Heheh.



3715417 I'm glad you liked it. It's a weird time of day

Oh that hurt. Straight into the feels. :fluttercry:

This is an excellent piece of work. Have a favourite.

"But while the coffee prepares herself, Twilight notices the door leading down to the basement is ajar, and she pauses."
Wouldn't it be Pinkie here?

3715664 it is supposed to be and I changed and saved it... Hm. Well, my apologies. I'd fix it if I could but I'm at the out knack bowl under width a dome of ponchos

Amazing. Nothing else to say.

This was wonderful. Poor Twilight.

this was good. only reason why i can't upvote it is that i ahve seen this story somewhere before on fimfiction, if slightly different. and it was not as clearly sad as this.
a cycle must continue i guess. the sun has been passed onto twilight.

*sigh*

The reference to DH's work feels incredibly out of place for several reasons. For one, it actively adds nothing to the story. Two, it just seems... out of tone, to bring up. These two stories are radically different in tone, subject, scope, and theme. Which brings me to my third point. Eternal was a work, ultimately, about choosing life. About accepting the joys and hardships of it. Your story has a little of that, but ultimately, its about a suicide. it is ambiguous whether Celestia will just die soon anyway, but the fact is she wants to die and she wants Twilight to -help- her die. This runs so headlong into everything DH was trying to say with Eternal it just feels... wrong to bring him up as part of your story.

Furthermore, now that we are on the subject, no, sorry Celestia. You don't get to say Life Isn't Fair here. -You- are doing this to her. This is your choice to bring her here, and cause her this pain. The worst part is, given what they are saying, there could have been -better- ways for Celestia to frame her argument that wouldn't leave Twilight nearly as emotionally scarred. All I can do is roll my eyes when she spits that cliche.

Going into more concrete things I find your style of having the narrator exposit the emotional states of the characters to be thick and distancing, so all we're left with is melancholia. I didn't find the prose very gripping and had to reread several parts to actually get a feel for what was going on emotionally. Which, considering the meat of the story is you flatly telling me what was going on, is a bad sign. It would have been more interesting, perhaps, if the characters had discussed their feelings or it was shown in other ways, instead of just having the narrator TELL us what was going on.

There were a few things I liked. I liked Applejack's thoughts at the end. The mood of hope that came with them and all that. I liked Celestia's speech on love. But, ultimately, this is a tired old story. You have inflicted an arbitrary tragedy on the setting, purely to discuss something discussed before at length in other places, and with more wisdom, humanity, and grace. It's... a story better than most, but not good enough or interesting enough to warrant struggling through its ugliness.

Warning: This comment contains spoilers. If you don't want spoilers, DON'T read this comment!

This story about Twilight and Celestia having to make a tough decision, as well as her friends waiting for her, was very interesting. And now I'm going to give my thoughts on it. I I would like to say that what criticism I present isn't meant to discourage or to insult; it is just me expressing something I didn't like about the story (which, admittedly, isn't much).

With that out of the way, here we go!

The first two thirds of the story deals with how ponies view Twilight, Celestia and each other, and I think you did a good job relating a lot through them. Most of them care mainly for Twilight, with the exception being Luna, and both the way and the degree they express them not only added a nice variety to it, but also both kept in character and added to their characterization. Applejack is similar with both Rarity—in that they need simple things to keep their minds occupied—and Rainbow Dash—in that they both worry for Twilight because she was doing this alone. The scene between Pinkie Pie and Spike is touching, and the scene with Luna by herself gives her an air of aloofness—which I think is effective, since she probably worries more for Celestia than Twilight, and with her status among the group. I think all the characters are used effectively in the first part.

And just a note, I liked the churchwarden. I hadn't heard that word before, and learning about it and how Applejack used it was really pleasant.

This story, along with "Who We Are" and "The Funeral of Derpy Whooves" has shown me the many possibilities of the third-person multiple point of view when it comes to a story. In this particular case, it bounces around as if the camera is smoothly focusing from one character to the next, not seeming clumsy, and giving the group a more interconnected feel even though it focuses on one character at a time. I think the third-person multiple point of view gives the situation more weight (and variety in the way the characters are worried); I think any other point of view would've made this story ineffective in what (I think) it tried to accomplish.

I think this review's becoming too technical, this part of the story did have an emotional impact. The quiet mood made the situation more solemn, even though I didn't yet know what was up, and it made me want to read on to see what they were waiting for. The action between the characters had me invested in them as well, and I wanted to know what everyone thought of the situation (both to find out what was going on and to see what was happening with them as characters). This was especially true with Spike.

There is one part about the first part that I didn't like.

Some things a mare had to do on her own, and help would only spoil the process. She supposed that when a pony found herself with wings, she had to start learning on her own.

This may be just a nitpick—and even then, it may just be the way it's worded—but the way it's worded, it sounds like when Twilight got her wings, she didn't need help to learn. Maybe I'm misinterpreting this part, but it sounds like the wings are something that ostracized her from the group—which it did, but only because she has a horn as well. Still, I don't think the wording of this part is really effective; at the least, it's confusing to me.

Then we get to the second part, where Twilight is faced with the task of Killing Celestia. The choice you present has benefits and detriments both ways, so it makes the decision all the more difficult. I was surprised you made Celestia mortal; that wasn't something I had considered before coming into this.

Then you launched into the talk about love, eternity, and friendship, and you do so adroitly and effectively. The shifting characterization of Celestia between the merciless ruler that demands to be murdered and the pony that watched Twilight grow up, and wants to be with her made this part especially painful to read. The final decision was a tough one, and when it was made, I felt like the decision made was the right one to do.

There was a part in here that really confused me. This is another nitpick.

The sun will find its equilibrium, yes. But the moon will still be in the orbit it has been. There will be chaos. Ponies would not be destroyed, but we know how they overreact."

It took me a few re-reads to figure out what you meant with the first two sentences, and even then I still find it a little unclear. The first part of the final sentence, though, really bothers me. I don't know why it's there, and can't think of a proper reason for it to be there. I think it weakens this whole section. Maybe there's something to it, and I'm not catching it; if that's the case, I apologize.

The final part was short and sweet, sticking with Applejack's point of view (closing with who the story opened up with). The relief came, but something new came as well. You present a detail about the sunrise that makes it seem like there's more to this story that we won't be able to read, and that, to me, is powerful. I, personally, would've been interested in seeing how Luna reacted to the new sunrise, but that's just me. I think this final section is succinct.

The last thing I would like to address with this review is the technical stuff. I didn't notice anything consistent in terms of spelling problems or grammar errors. You do choose the present tense instead of the more-common past tense, but I think it works since this whole thing deals with the decision at hand and the uncertainty of the future. I think it doubly helps that this is the last day of the year, when everyone is preparing for the new year. I think that detail helps stress the hopes of the future, and the things we lose in the past. It's especially poignant, methinks.

Overall, I really liked this story. It was technically powerful and emotionally impactful. The characters are used well, the setting is somber, the point of view flows fluidly, the conflict is really hard to deal with, and the resolution is bittersweet. My only complaints come from some awkward wording at parts, but those are just nitpicks.

So this get a favorite from me. Best of your talents with your next story!

I like this story. It's interesting to see stories that explore whether Celestia is immortal or not. I"ve been told there are other stories that explore similar themes, but this is the first one I've seen on this site. (I've only been a member for three months.) This gets an upvote from me, along with a follow.

This...this is a masterpiece.
I loved this from start to finish.
Its a good idea, and while its not wholly uncommon, you did it magnificently.
I'm not sure what it is about it...the little details, the subtle exposition, the quiet emotion, I don't know what you did, but this is great.
Perhaps its just the writing; one thing I can say for certain is that the prose here is nothing short of beautiful.
Every little word and phrase seems just perfectly wrought, like a fine silver filigree.

This story is sublime, one of the best I've read on this site, and just one of the best period.
I tip my hat to you.
cdn.firearmstalk.com/forums/attachments/f20/17474d1281667168-ar-picture-thread-a_tip_of_the_hat.jpg

I liked it. Wish I knew what was going on, but I liked it.

Brilliant. You are, as they say, "back" (and biblical). I wish we had more detail on the transfer of power and what transpired in that half hour, but no real complaints. Imagination is left to do its work, and that's a good thing.

So your thinking twilight will take celestia's place? I mean who would do that!?!? :facehoof: I guess I can't stop you though... Good story :pinkiehappy:

3718228 As I'm actually not a huge fan of the idea itself, I've no idea. It was just a fleeting image, a "what if" and so I'd be curious myself.



3718236 Naw, I actually like the idea of Celestia as like the Valar, near immortal and such but still able to interact with time in a meaningful way.

WS

Oh god... Your killin me here! Emotion after emotion, and I love it all!!!! :heart::heart:

Story is...well-written. But not a concept I can really get behind or endorse. It just feels out of place in Pony - yes, all things may end, but something like this is too...dark to really fit. I can see the alicorns departing, but were they to do so, it'd be ascension rather than death. Becoming something greater, which involves leaving some things behind, as well. Still there, even if you can't see or talk to them.

This, though...it just feels out of place. It's a tale of Old Magic and a Dying Earth in a world of New Magic, which I think is why it doesn't fit right.

YOU WRITE MORE OR I BREAK YOUR DAMN LEGS

3718820 actually this is (maybe except celestial death) what Lauren had planned for Twilight.

I really hope we get an epilogue. Otherwise this story didn't end well. You spent most of the story building up the feeings and emotions of The mane 6+Luna and Spike yet didn't do anything with them, this story would have been just as good just mentioning them in passing. Like, what was the point of mentioning that Rarity and Rainbow are together? It is like you are leading up to something that never comes, quite frankly it was annoying.

I really think this chapter should have ended at Applejack seeing Twilight return with Celestias crown on her head. Or perhaps even Luna since this would have had the most impact for her. Otherwise there was a positive ending for the mane 6 in this story when there should have actually been a sad one.

/ranting of a tired individual.

Gotta say, the first few lines in the story were more than a little moving. Placing the story's setting on the eve of a new year to communicate a great change in the characters' lives (and submitting it on the day as a way to celebrate it), is a not-so-subtle, but no less touching concept. No doubt this is also why the narrative is present-tense; past-tense would suggest everything has already happened, rather than that there are big changes about to happen. The second paragraph was well-executed in that it drew me even deeper into the story by suggesting (again, with no subtlety) that the world around Applejack is anticipating the day's events.

Naturally, I love everything you did with Twilight's closest and most dedicated companion, most notably acknowledging the ambiguity in their relationship. I was a little discouraged at first that you started the story with Applejack instead, since this is more Spike's story than any one of the library's other occupants (save Luna, of course), and there's nothing told from AJ's perspective that couldn't have been conveyed with Spike in her place. It makes sense now in how the rest of it unfolds and circles back to AJ, but I do propose that - although non-princess Twilight is important in how she factors into all the characters' memories of what was - the mane six character tag covers her, thus making room for the dragon who has more to lose in this premise than most of the ponies. Even if he doesn't have nearly as much to lose as Luna, you still gave him more presence than her. It's a suggestion.

Bits and pieces of Not Worthy's review pretty much cover everything else I would a have said, especially how the narrative sweeps through the cast like a camera covering a full cast of actors in a single take. This is a practice Joss Whedon used to connect his characters in the season finale of Firefly and the opening sequence of Serenity. Although flawed in places, it's a beautiful story, and I thank you for writing it.

How to Steal Centuries and other Tales of Unorthodoxy, one of the bawdiest books she had.

That title should probably be italicized.

"Uh, did you not hear that part about not coming back?"

"I do," she says quietly

And I sense a tense shift.

Congrats on the feature, by the by.

Oh... It's a well-executed, wonderfully painted, moody, sometimes moving story about... a couple of concepts that I have long disliked, and it didn't change my views on them.

I can't abide the whole princesses-as-goddesses thing. Not going to write an essay about it, but just say it rubs me wrong in a lot of ways.

The whole thing about Celestia dying and passing her power down to Twilight is contrived, not to mention quite dark. I haven't seen anything in FiM World to suggest anything like that. Hey, didn't the unicorns control the sun and moon before Equestria was founded? Then where did this weird (in multiple senses) ritual come from?

Even worse is the argument that "we must accept the natural way of things". In pony society, Mother Nature is the villain. Nature is chaos, nature is disorder, nature is an evil to be conquered. Ponies control the weather, they control the animals, and they shape the landscape into a manicured garden, and those places they can't control are regarded with abject fear. Celestia might as well argue that "we must accept the evil way of things... because it's evil!"

And what's up with Applejack smoking a pipe? Did she turn into a hobbit? :rainbowwild:

Actually... Even though we have other commenters asking for MOAR, I think this story might have been better if it was cut shorter. The beginning, with Twilight's friends waiting and worrying, was fabulous. It reminds me of a lovely older story -- which I can't find right now, to my shame -- that had the residents of ponyville gathered by the lake, watching, pensive and worried, as the mane six fought some kind of unspecified battle far off in the distance. We never did find out what it was all about, and that was Just Fine.

3720319

I know that. I don't have any issue with Celestia/Luna stepping down. Heck, they've earned a vacation. It's the 'For you to ascend, I must die' bit I dislike.

Well. I'm gonna go cry my eyes out for the rest of my life. :raritycry:
But other than me crying, it was an amazing story!

3720554

The whole thing about Celestia dying and passing her power down to Twilight is contrived, not to mention quite dark. I haven't seen anything in FiM World to suggest anything like that. Hey, didn't the unicorns control the sun and moon before Equestria was founded?

It depends on what you consider more authoritative, the tale in the first episode's beginning plus Celestia's discourse on The Return of Harmony, or the tale in Hearth Warming's Day.

If the former, then Discord governed Equestria since eternity until he was defeated by Celestia and Luna, who then proceeded to use the Elements of Harmony to create harmony for the land for the first time ever with the establishment of the cycle of day and night that didn't exist before. Coupled with Celestia exploding Twilight, then talking to her in the beyond while she see her life passing in front of her eyes, then ressurrecting her as an alicorn, the conclusion is that they're goddesses.

If the later, then you have to consider the words in the above tale and discourse as figurative, not literal, and the tribes uniting in harmony first, then Discord appearing and for a time (not eternally) governing, then Celestia and Luna restoring (not creating) harmony for the land. In this case they may still be goddesses for all we know, but of a much lower power level / standing. And with it you also have to reinterpret the alicornization of Twilight in some other way that doesn't involve her literally exploding then being ressurrected by Celestia.

One way or the other something must give, for the two narratives aren't totally compatible.

Personally I prefer the "they're goddesses!" interpretation as it feels 20% cooler, and thus I interpret the HWD's tale as something akin to a Christmas story that isn't to be taken literally. But I've found excellent fanfics done in the other style, with Celestia/Luna/Discord just powerful beings, not gods. So in the end I'd say that what matters most really is that the story is fun. Everything else is secondary. :twilightsmile:

3722292

Err... Celestia said that Discord ruled in "an eternal state of unrest and unhappiness". To me, that's not even close to the same thing as ruling "since eternity". I don't see any problem with the Hearth Warming story events happening as shown, then later Discord coming to power, then later Celestia and Luna rising up against him. I don't see anything in Episode 1 to contradict that timeline either.

As for all the events surrounding Twilight Sparkle's ascension... That was the culmination of Season 3, or "Season Bogus" as I personally prefer to think of it. I'm going to just ignore everything in it, and stick with FiM Classic.

3723149

I don't see anything in Episode 1 to contradict that timeline either.

It all comes down to how one interprets this bit:

Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters who ruled together, and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest used her unicorn powers to raise the sun at dawn; the younger brought out the moon to begin the night.

If you take this "created" as literal, then they're creator goddesses. Then if you interpret the "raise the sun at dawn" and the "brought out the moon to begin the night" as meaning the very first day and the very first night rather than just another day/night, they become even more creator goddesses. It all follows from these premises, and also from taking the reference to Discord's "eternal state" as meaning a literal eternity of unrest and unhappiness, not a mere "temporary state" of unrest and unhappiness.

In any case choosing other interpretation opens narrative doors that this one closes and the other way around, so go with whatever you think is more interesting and don't worry much about other authors choosing this one, or even a 3rd one that contradicts or disregards both. Consider those you don't particularly see as canon as "alternate realities" and read them for mere enjoyment. After all we aren't talking about real events, only fictional ones. Having fun with them, in any shape or form, is all that matters. :pinkiehappy:

Magic is a way of breaking all the rules without hurting anything or anypony. It’s like breaking the rules for good.

I would like a chapter that was just these two sentences.

Pinkie will not give up. Like an emperor in the Stalliongrad snow, she refuses to go back home and leave the prize unwon.

A short French one?

“Gonna be useless like this,” Rainbow mutters. “We coulda just woken up early.”

Rainbow as the voice of reason? The whole world has gone mad!

“Yes, we could have. But you said you couldn’t sleep.”

There we go, back to normalcy.

She wanders over and crawls in behind Rainbow.
“Thought I was big spoon,” Dash grumbles.

HAHAHAHAHADAWWWWWW

Very cruel, Celestia. You could have warned her before this. You could have told her, prepared her, let her know that she would someday be taking up this mantle. Did you actually not see it coming soon enough? Were the years going by so fast that you thought one day, "I will begin the task of preparing Twilight to accept my crown tomorrow" and suddenly she was no longer a filly but was being granted wings and a title for her myriad accomplishments? Did you close your eyes - physical and otherwise - just a touch too long?

Poor excuses for somepony who has laid so many carefully crafted plans. Empty platitudes for somepony who really does - or at least should - know the movements of the universe well enough to be able to predict, with some accuracy, when this juncture would occur. Horrid treatment for a student, and a friend, that you claim to love. So why in Tartarus did you do it this way? What could possibly have possessed you to inflict such pain on an already shaken Twilight Sparkle?

Only one thing. That which can spoil the workings of the finest mind, and cloud even the wisest judgment: fear.

It's not easy being afraid after being alive for so very long. Is death scarier when it has been far away from you for hundreds or thousands of years - or hundreds of thousands, since I do not know your true history or age? I can only imagine... but imagine it I can.

And for the immensity of that fear, in all its terrible glory, I forgive you, Celestia. May you rest easy, wherever your spirit wends.

And to the author: I hope you can see how much praise and love there is in my little tribute to this story. Beautifully done, lovingly framed by the rest of the Bearers, Luna and Spike, and truly touching. Thank you.

Light and laughter,
SongCoyote

I don't get why you stuck RariDash in here for no reason.

The story was alright, though. Not wonderful, but decent.

I think the real problem is that it is obvious from the beginning what is going on, so there isn't really much of a shock, and I didn't really feel like the ending really hit me like it should have.

This is an incredible work of art, a masterpiece of literature that people are needlessly complaining about simply because they don't like the concepts involved, without giving due credit to the fact that it is an absolutely beautiful story that is impeccably executed. Bravo.

This story was very good. It superbly conveys the quiet fears that the mane six (sans Twilight) have. I also must say the title is fantastic. Most stories with fantastic titles are disappointing. This one was not.

I will admit that you have a good style to your writing, but little things here and there just conspired to prevent me from really getting into it: Present tense, Applejack smoking, mention of Spike's sharp reptilian ears*, etc.

Still, very good mood-building and an especially humble/homey narrative voice makes this a nice one-shot :twilightsmile:

*The opposite would be true. Reptiles only have very rudimentary hearing, mostly sensitive to low pitched sounds.

3725891 I actually had no idea if reptiles heard well or not. Thanks for letting me know!

Present tense. I experiment with it, occasionally. Honestly, had I thought more than like 100 people were going to read this I would probably have used a more conventional narration.

Just wow. :twilightsmile: I love the way you told the story.

Why'd I wait so long to read this? Well done.

::smokingapplejack::

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