Chapter 2
"Well, that was rude," Scootaloo said, walking home with Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. "I mean, even if she didn't invite us, she could have let us stay!"
"Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon must have gotten to her," Applebloom said, kicking vengefully at a rock. "The Twist ah knew wouldn' have sent us away from anything."
"Why were we at Peppermint Delights again?" Sweetie Belle asked, trying to wipe the dirt that had accumulated on her sticky hooves off.
"We were gonna try makin' candy, remember?"
"Oh, right." Sweetie Belle rubbed her leg against the brick surface of a nearby house, wincing as it scraped the dirt off. Applebloom smiled wistfully.
"Ah remember when ah was friends with Twist. Maybe ah should have stayed friends with her after that, but ah guess ah just assumed she wouldn't want to be mah friend anymore. At least she has friends. Maybe they're nicer to her."
Scootaloo snorted. "Sure they are. Those two aren't capable of nice."
*****************
"Hey, Twist," Diamond Tiara called over the music. "You want, like, another cupcake? There's three left."
"Thure," Twist answered from the other side of the room, where she was examining the results of Pin the Tail on the Pony. Two were in the wall, one was on the pony's leg, and one was on a chair. Diamond Tiara carried the cupcake to her, but instead of handing it over, she motioned for Silver Spoon to turn the music up and pulled Twist under the table.
"Now, what I am about to tell you is not to leave this room on pain of friendship, like, totally over." Twist nodded, and crossed her hooves, the shorthand for a Pinkie promise that they had developed.
"So you know, Scootaloo's family is, like, really rich, almost as rich as mine. That's how they can afford that really fancy house at the end of Smart Cookie Drive. Back a few years ago, there was this economic crisis thingy. Daddy lost a lot of money and Scootaloo was the richest filly. And she totally rubbed it in our faces!" A twinge of bitterness pierced Diamond Tiara's voice, dissipating as she continued.
"Anyways, it started out just snobbery, but then she was, like, really mean and stuff! So we vowed that we would pay her back any way we could."
"Why did you teathe me and Apple Bloom though?"
"After we teased her a lot, it got kind of hard to only tease her," Diamond Tiara admitted. "But then Applebloom joined forces with that little blank flank. So we could focus our teasing power on just their little group! And then Silver Spoon had, like, the best idea ever! She said that maybe we should make a friend. We tried to get Babs to be our friend, but she totally backstabbed us! So we decided to be your friend instead. And you know the rest!"
Twist remembered the day Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had invited her to a private picnic at the edge of the Everfree Forest and shown her that there was more to the ponies than what they seemed.
. "Hey, Twithy-poo!" Diamond Tiara cooed from across the schoolyard. "Doing anything later?"
"No," Twist answered without a trace of emotion in her voice. "Why?"
"My dad is having this totally lame picnic, and Silver Spoon's mom is making her go, so I need to invite someone weird and nerdy to make my dad happy without making ponies think I care enough to invite someone cool.
"Fine."
************
"The food ith good," Twist said, struggling to find something to say. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had stayed on the opposite side of the picnic blanket the entire time, whispering and staring at her. Filthy Rich flipped the Ponyvile Inquirer to the stock market section.
"Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon?" he said without looking up. "If you're gonna invite ponies to something, you have to socialize with 'em."
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes. "Fiiine, Daddy. So, what's it like living in a candy shop! Do you, like, get all the candy you can eat?"
"Only when I can thwipe it."
Silver Spoon leaned in, a thin strand of drool hanging from her mouth. "You will get me into this sweet shop. Now."
"Why thould I? You've been the foremotht bullieth for motht of my life! Why are you being nithe now?"
"If you had actually, like, noticed, we never teased you. Applebloom's much lamer than you. Anypony who hangs out with somepony as lame as her automatically becomes lamer. So we're like the Lame-ators. Like liberators, only for ponies who are lame."
"...okay."
It had slowly spiraled upward after that, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon no longer acting like self-righteous jerks to them being real friends over a few months.
"Why didn't you want to tell me at the thpa, though?" Twist asked, snapping out of memory
"Well, I have this public image. I need to protect it. Telling a tragic story from my foalhood would, like, totally undermine it."
Twist's mother stuck her head in the door. "Could you turn the music down a notch? There's a customer!"
"Thure thing, Mom."
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The next chapter is up! Slightly shorter, but then enough it does what I need it to do. :D
Chapter three might not be until tomorrow, since it's fairly late and I have math to do.
Interesting new development
Might, like, pace yourself a bit more and, like, maybe tone down, like, the amount of times they, like, totally say the word "like" and stuff, like, if that's okay with you.
But aside from going overboard a bit with the "like", I'd be okay waiting more than a day for bigger and more fleshed paced chapters. 1k is like two youtube comments (pre-google+ at least) so not much to chew on there. But this chapter did what it wanted to do. Interesting use of Scootaloo there, I'll wait and see what you do with that.
Scootaloo has a side to it that I'll get into later. And I'm not really good with long writing. Longest I ever got was around 8500 words and that took almost a month. xD Oh well. I made myself write 1000. I can write longer.
(For sharp-eyed observers, I'm aware they left during recess. >.< I'll fill the plot hole in maybe two chapters or so.)
Thith thtory ith interethting tho far! I'm liking it.
So Scootaloo used to be evil!
I'll go for 1250 words this chapter, adding 250 words each chapter. How does 2500 words per chapter sound?
3721320 Sounds like this story will continue to be awesome regardless of size of its chapters, long as it fits the roles you want.
Short chapters = typically faster updates
Long chapters = slow updates.
Just do what you feel is *right* for the scene you want to tell, like that last chapter. I just complain I want more...MORE... because good stories make me anxious
And welcome to the group!
This story is pretty interesting. Most stories (as well as the actual show) tend to depict DT and SS either as two-dimensional antagonists or sometimes potential targets for redemption (so they can earn the CMC's forgiveness and friendship and become better ponies). Rarely do we get to see them from their own POV - as two kids who consider their behavior justified given their past experiences, and are actually capable of being friendly with somepony they want to be friends with. Few people in the world actually consider themselves to be the villains - everyone is a hero in their own story.
Also, it's an interesting touch that the CMC actively try to justify their behavior in order to avoid the realization that they're the bad apples here. Scootaloo thinks that it's rude not to allow them to stay, even though they walked in uninvited and ate the candy without permission. And Apple Bloom is fully aware that she basically ditched Twist for her new friends, but tries to shift the blame onto Twist by pretending that she wouldn't want to be friends anyway (even though Twist explicitly said "We can still be friends, right?").
3719020 you get big Earth Pony Silver Spoon hugs for that remarkable Twist impression!