• Member Since 25th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 22nd, 2020

Dancewithknives


"If I had asked people what they wanted, They would have said faster horses." -Henry Ford The easiest way to tell a man's character is how well he treats the people he doesen't have to.

T
Source

This story is a sequel to The Tailor and her Recurring Customer: Part 1


The ends justify the means, and all actions are acceptable if done in the act of preserving the state.

This story is the standalone sequel to The Tailor and her Recurring Customer. Prior reading is not required.

Rarity thought of herself as just a simple tailor in a small town with dreams to become big. But, with recent events and incidents that have changed her life, she must reassess what she truly is, and the weight her role as one of the Elements of Harmony carries.





Thanks to Rustling Leaves and Blagdorass for proofing. Also, I would like to thank the editors of Editors R Us, Dave the Brony, AndyGrey and FillyPhill for editing.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 51 )

that was so cool!!!!!!

bravo!!!! ....WAIT! whats auf wiedersehen? :trixieshiftright::scootangel::scootangel:

3729007 OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :pinkiegasp: thx!! :twilightsheepish: then auf weidersehen! :pinkiehappy:

3734231
3734171
Thanx, i didnt really know that either.

How is the rest of the story?

Pretty good, Bonus points for including German. I always enjoy fics that don't just include ponies. Nice work.

Grammar was decent, but you had some easily detectible errors including:
--Missed capitols
--Missed commas
--Extra spaces
Overall decent, but the easy to correct missed capitols and other easily seen errors were a distraction.

You used a German-speaking pony:
I like this. (I'll take your word that this is actual German and not random letters.) The fact that you found people who know German and asked them to help you added to the story. It made the immersion much better than saying "He couldn't understand the sound coming out of her mouth".

You used deer:
You earn a :moustache: I have only seen deer in one other fic before.


Pacing:
Seemed fine. Nothing seemed too fast or too slow for me.

Plot:
It intrigues me... You made this chapter into a nice hook that has grabbed my attention. There was a lot of mystery. I want to know things, so I will read more.

Overall:
I liked it and will read more of it when I have the time.

3734524 that is actually the first time I earned a moustache.

Grammatically, this chapter is much more solid than the last one, though some errors are present.

You made Rarity's terror feel real but... some parts didn't ring true with her character.
Rarity isn't really afraid to speak her mind, and I personally don't think she would act that way.
That being said, her house would never get broken into in the show, so we will never know for sure.

Pacing seemed fine, really. Nothing too rushed or two slow.

Other than that, :pinkiegasp:

But seriously. What is happening??? I must know.

I'll read your story and review if you read mine first. For each chapter you review you give me, I'll give you a review for a chapter of your story( I'll link the story later:twilightsheepish:) here we are: A friend to the end

The stallion with a white tuxedo and mask, or as the official reports would later call him- and will further be referenced as- “Tuxedo Mask”, vacated the room.

I don't think the interjection (and will further be referenced as) is necessary. In my opinion, it breaks immersion to the story by tapping against the fourth wall by speaking to the reader directly.

I would suggest hiring an editor. While nothing made me cringe, I did notice quite a few spelling and grammar errors that made me have to reread the sentence to figure out what you were saying.

So, overall I find this to be an interesting read. You got my attention right off the bat with a mysterious and action filled hook. You followed up by deepening the mystery and introducing more characters. Now all that waits is some answers that only lead to more questions. Liked and favourited.

PS. No, I cannot name the move, or any you decide to give me. I'm a cult lover, not a fighter.

Tuxedo Mask

I feel like that's a reference to something... I want to say Sailor Moon.

Comment posted by Dancewithknives deleted Jan 11th, 2014

3754045 i didn't see that when I wrote it. Oops. I never really watched the show, so maybe it was some sort of subliminal memory or something.

Wow, that was really good. Love how that one ,are spoke forien... Although I don't know where this story takes place in..... A viking or Norse country perhaps? No idea. It's a good story though:-) .

3769038 the idea is that it is a ponyified (stagified) paris.

watched as the fire turned the Offices into chimney

Missing an article. I suggest either changing it to "a massive chimney" or replacing the word altogether with something like tinder.

He was played with

He had been played with.

Hmm... Still suggesting you find an editor. The grammar is getting better, but I'm still noticing a few mistakes here and there. Also, you've made a gary stu-esque oc character. I hope you plan on making him a straight up villain or making the protagonist as powerful, or else some people (me) are going to be turned off.

These chapters have been a lot more action-y than mystery, but I expected that given both tags are on the story. What bothers me a little is that there have been seven chapters, in which many questions have been asked, but no answers have been given. I feel that, although readers can wait in suspense as long as they are actually in suspense, if you wait too long without revealing anything or adding even more mystery, the desire to know more is replaced by just plain confusion. I really hope that the story starts connecting itself together soon, because the fast paced action of the last few chapters really takes away the tone of mystery that the first four chapters, leaving me impatient to know what's going on. But maybe that's just me. Still, it's shaping up to be a very promising story.

3784565 I can see how powerful/ skilled character can be seen as op or suish. But i assure you his successes were based on skills, resources, and planning.

Other than that, there will be a return to Rarity soon.

Stay tuned, I have started reading your story, and it will be reviewed in the next couple of days

3803858 could you do me a favor? I am busy right now, and would rather go amd do some edits before having this review, could you instead do the precurser story instead? I will add this back when I feel it is ready. (I want to publish a few more chapters first.)

Are you aware that the first few paragraphs are clumped together?

4054733 My very first story for some reason or another had all the spaces between the paragraphs removed when I published it and no one hardly mentioned it. I had to find it out for myself almost a week afterwards. :rainbowlaugh:

4054837 yeah, the unsung doublespace rule.

Anyway, i added the beginning in about an hour before posting.

Rarity being my second favorite pony I can say this was a very interesting take on her personality the story line was good. You painted a vivid picture of what was going and a I didn't spot very grammar errors. Overall this was a very enjoyable read. Have an upvote.:pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

Jaeger which is German hunter could be a refrence to Pacific Rim. Am I right! Am I right!

Special thanks to the members of "ITS FOR SCIENCE!" For help with the usher and the flower.

Well, well, well. This is going to be interesting. I think I need popcorn.

4275771 well, with the story wrapping up soon, I think you have found a good time to start. I hope I don't disappoint.

4275947
Hey, before I read this, should I read the prequel? Or just this?

I am watching...
Be ready and waiting, I've had a bad morning...

4474974 no, this is a standalone sequel, written so that prior reading was not required.

4475270
Yeah, I read the description after posting the comment, but my iPod kept freaking out when I tried to edit it...

Well that story got dark fast.:unsuresweetie: I should keep reading, you have my interest, now take my attention.

3803887 are you going to come back to this story and review it?

Hmm? And suddenly I lose track of what is happening.

4916571

Did you read this first?

Anyway, its supposed to show that he has a second job of training the elite guards of Canterlot. This was one exercise.

4916633 I did indeed. I'm just not following the transitions from the Ice Cream parlor to Luna's shower scene and then to the gard. I know they are all separate, but the way I read it initially makes me want to connect them all anyway, and that gets confusing.

I'm no pre-reader or editor, but the flow just seems off somehow.

I've loved the rest however. I just finished a little marathon reading session of a good chunk of your work.

4916673 I understand why it was confusing. The whole idea of splitting up End of the Night was 1. The first time I've ever written something that was wish fulfilment, and 2. to be a big sequel bait so that people who read the previous story would be inclined to read the sequel in order to figure out what happened with the cliffhanger earlier.

If you don't understand what happened with the split during EotN part 2, think of it as if they were playing paintball. The guards were doing a protection exercise and one of them was playing the role of Luna.

Uuuuhhhh, wow, not entirely sure what I expected but this certainly is something.Only thing wrong is the astounding lack of John Cena material that was available for use, but that might just be a more recent thing.

6611055 I added this segment in because I wanted to. Most of the fightscenes are agonizingly choreographed in my mind in order to be flashy and entertaining, but to still somehow hold onto some realism. Most of the wrestling moves were chosen on how they could be used stand alone or in a way that the user would be able to enact it without losing too much momentum. back when I still watched wrestling constantly, I had one performeder in particular that I didn't care for that much... AND HIS NAME IS JOHHHHHNN CCEEEENA!


In other words, how did you come across this story?

6615208 Found one story that looked interesting and followed a trail of also liked and similar suggestions.

When I saw the name and the cover art, I legitimately recoiled. I flinched. For a split second, I thought it was related to something else.

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