EqD Writer Training Grounds short stories from S4
Week 19 - Cutting the Chord, Swinging the Hammer, and Dropping the Piano
After Tirek’s rampage, Princess Twilight Sparkle had lost her home and all of the things that her friends and family had contributed to it over the years she had been in Ponyville. Fortunately for her, Twilight Velvet had managed to find and restore one precious memory for her favorite daughter to take into her new home, forever.
Unfortunately, it was a piano. The same piano Twilight Sparkle and her friends had ‘accidentally’ pushed off a tower balcony during her move to Ponyville. Even after the remains had been stuffed into a locked chest and disposed of forever in the depths of Tartarus, her mother had brought it home, restored it to perfect condition, and returned it.
After all, Twilight Velvet loves her daughter, and knows how much the piano means to her.
EqD Prompt: Tirek wasn't the only creature to escape from Tartarus when Cerberus left his post...
Inspired by the fantastic 100 percent move, 50 percent fire by Estee Read all of them and enjoy.
Created at the prompting of Bradel’s blog, and the EqD Writer’s Training Grounds event for Season 4.
This will be a gathering point for Georg’s entries into the event, based on each week’s episode.
Editors include: Peter,
Week 1 : Bats!
Week 2 : Rarity Takes Manehattan.
Week 3 : Pinkie Apple Pie
Week 4 : Rainbow Falls
Week 5 - Three of a Kind
Week 6 - Pinkie Pride
Week 7 - Simple Ways
Week 8 - Filli Vanilli
Week 9 - Twilight Time
Week 10 - It Ain’t Easy Being Breezies
Week 11 - Somepony To Watch Over Me
Week 12 - Maud Pie
Week 13 - For Whom The Sweetie Belle Tolls
Week 14 - Leap of Faith
Week 15 - Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3
Week 16 - Trade Ya!
Week 17 - Inspiration Manifestation
Week 18 - Equestria Games
Week 19 - Twilight's Kingdom
The immoral of the story - Week One: Be careful what you ask for. Particularly if you've damaged one of Celestia's trees.
Plus I got permission to link this picture of Vampire Twilight in the story. Alasou has some cool pics. Check it out.
i.imgur.com/fCj8O3yl.png
Edit:
name spelled correctly this time.
I cannot agree more with this story. *thumbs up* *star*
Help me... vampire Twilight done up and bit me!.... TWICE!!!
... No wait, sides are hurting from the laughter, not cheap plastic vampony teeth. False alarm, nothing to see here! Keep up the good work, move along!
Those tags...
Priceless.
Now that was hilarious.
This was a fun little romp, but I have to ask, seeing as how you are the Batpony guy.^_^, are you not a little tempted to explore that flash of fang Fluttershy showed at the end of the episode.
See lots of comic potential in Fluttershy becoming a Nocturne Pegasus, maybe she had latent genes, and this experience brought them to the surface.
Death by snu snu. You really shouldn't have carved up her tree, Flash.
Well, that wasn't quite what I was expecting...
I did find this amusing, particularly Twilight freaking out about her "I'm a goth" phase. Sadly, I remember that phase all too well. The ending definitely exuded "Field Notes on Alicorn Reproductive Behavior" vibes, though I'm not quite sure how I felt about that. Despite EQG canonicity, Flash and Twilight aren't exactly a strong couple—they lack clear characterization. Sure, Flash is literally asking for it, but the whole thing feels squickily, bidirectionally nonconsensual here.
I like the characterization for Twilight, Celestia, and Spike, and I like the voices for Celestia and Spike, but Twilight's voice feels a little wonky to me in this piece. For example: "There’s nothing ordinary about this insatiable hunger that is consuming me with unholy desires!" While this sounds like something Twilight might feel, this doesn't sound like how she'd express that feeling to me. She's a nerd, and she can hold forth on esoteric subjects until the cows come home, but she's never really intentionally grandiloquent.
Anyway, this was fun (if slightly squicky), and I look forward to seeing what you've got next week!
3715433 (reads linked story) Oh, my. I hadn't... Um... No, that wasn't my intent at all. The things I miss by not having the "Mature" tag turned on.
3710192 I think there's a romantic short story in there, begging to get out. The first lines practically write themself.
"Um. Excuse me. Is this where somepony goes when they've been turned into a vampony? Because I have. Been turned into a vampony, that is."
The sergeant at the Royal Guard recruitment center looked over his desk and frowned at the timid little yellow pegasus trying to melt into the floor in front of him...
3709171 I've been considering how to handle each new weeks stories, and I think I'll move the description down into the first part of the story, just leaving something like "Week 1 - Bats!" in the main story description. Oh, and I fixed the missing "
Farsically charming. Twilight WOULD be one to panick over discovering she's a and the title's misdirection was thoroughly entertaining. Well done.
I imagine brainwashing the entire town would cranking it up to 11, then?
Yeah, I'm going to Pony Hell for this one. But it's worth it.
Chapter Two Author notes
I would like to take this opportunity to apologize for nothing, and give a buttery raspberry to Mayor Nanny Bloomberg, and Weight Watchers. In addition, I think the Center for Science and the Public Disinterest needs a good jab in the flank with a fork too. Coconut oil forever! You may take our lives, but you will never take our beloved fluffy popcorn!
Now I would like to thank some people, in particular, the talented Pen Stroke, and his creepy story Into the Depths. Check it out, along with the sequel, From the Depths.
Yes, I
stoleborrowed the title. I had to. There’s an entire box of maple-walnut fudge in the kitchen that forced me.Credit to my warped personality goes to the following:
Bette Midler - Fat As I Am
Hail to Thee, Fat Person, by Alan Sherman
And of course, the Great One
Weird Al - Fat
Blueblood for Pinkie's father? Not a bad trade.
Hah! I love it!
And Horatio Regal Horace Blueblood. I see what you did there
(And then it 502'd!)
Prince Rock, Rocks!
Based off this PS238 comic book scene.
Now with a beautiful picture called Evening Flight by Mechagen
That was hilarious from start to finish.
Lord, my soul is ripped with riot,
Incited by my wicked diet.
We are what we eat, said a wise old man,
And Lord, if that’s true, I’m a garbage can!
I want to rise on Judgment Day, that’s plain,
But at my present weight, I’ll need a crane!
So grant me strength that I may not fall
Into the clutches of cholesterol.
May my flesh with carrot curls be sated
That my soul may be polyunsaturated.
And show me the light that I may bear witness
To the President’s Council on Physical Fitness.
At oleomargarine I’ll never mutter,
For the road to hell is spread with butter.
And cake is cursed, and cream is awful,
And Satan is hiding in every waffle.
Mephistopheles lurks in provolone,
The devil is in each slice of bologna,
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
And Lucifer is a lollipop!
Give me this day my daily slice -
But cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
Deliver me from Jujubees.
And my when days of trial are done
And my war with malted milks is won,
Let me stand with the saints in heaven
In a shining robe – Size 37!
I can do it, Lord, if you’ll show to me
The virtues of lettuce and celery.
If you’ll teach me the evils of mayonnaise,
The sinfulness of hollandaise
And pasta a la milanese
And potatoes a la lyonaise
And crisp fried chicken from the south!
Lord, if you love me, SHUT MY MOUTH!
-Victor Buono (King Tut on Batman)
3820624 Victor Buono's "I'm Fat" is on YouTube, but only in Mono here.
3820663
That's the one I was looking for when I found the Dieter's Prayer. The (sadly defunct) local radio station KFAT used the first stanza as a station ID back in the late 70s - early 80s.
I'm fat, I'm fat;
that's all there is to that.
You might think it etiquette
to say that I am heavy-set or just big boned;
You wanna bet? I'm fat, I'm fat, I'm fat.
It's a good thing that living in NYC requires a lot of walking and stair climbing, because the food is that good. This made me laugh.
Le gasp! A side-story/sneak-peek of things to come for the upcoming part three of the "Traveling Tutor" trilogy?! *Proceeds to read with great interest*
After reading it, I must admit seeing such an exchange between Green Grass and Discord was quite intriguing (and randomly funny, just as our main draconequus would have it). I am glad you didn't explicitly show what the "What-If" viewer of Discord's would've done to Green Grass and Twilight's relationship thanks to the infamous "butterfly effect" because I don't think my heart would've been able to handle all the sadness of missed opportunities and loneliness that both young lovers would've gone through. However, I still laughed quite a bit reading how completely by the numbers our dear Twilie is (seriously, she somehow knew about a carnivous book? I would've been way off: I'd have guess it was a cake wanting to eat Celestia for a change!). Plus Greenie's contentment with how his life has turned out really was heartwarming.
So great job once again on another EqD Writer-Training Grounds.
Most excellent.
Ah, Green Grass has learnt that the role of the Groom in wedding planning is to smile and nod, the ceremony itself is more or less the same only with an 'I do' replacing one of the nods.
I'm sure the dress Rarity made is very good as disguising any extra pounds the bride might have put on over the last few months, now all she has to do is get through the reception resisting the urge to eat hay dipped in hot sauce.
Huh, now that just makes me wonder a bit about the timing of this wedding.
3873422
Maybe she scheduleded in "Something tries to eat Celestia"?
3875778 "Ah, Green Grass has learned that the role of the Groom in wedding planning is to smile and nod, ..."
I was nervous at my own wedding until the organ struck up "Here Comes The Bride," and all I could see was the backs of heads. I realized at that point that I could be dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, and nobody would care one whit.
Plus the real danger here does not come at the wedding, it's at the rehearsal dinner when Twilight spots the buffet table...
"Greenie? Hold me." Twilight Sparkle looked down the buffet table at rows and rows of sugary treats laid out in neat lines, all pleading for a place in line for her to consume, to devour in an unending frenzy of eating to fuel her new role as a prospective mother. "I feel so weak."
"Be strong, dear." Green Grass picked up a plate in his teeth and nudged her gently. "Take only one plate and start. The guests are starting to stare."
"B-but the cheesecake?" Twilight's floating plate passed dangerously close to said dessert, picking up small cubes of calories as it went. "There's fourteen kinds. What will I say if somepony asks me how the chocolate-raspberry-walnut-creame-fudge cheese cake was if I don't take at least one piece? And the chocolate fountain has so many little tidbits around it. Should I take every other one? Or every third?"
3873422 By skipping the "What if" scenes, I can use them as "Noodle Incidents" in what's left of the story.
3876756 Oh, relax. She's not going to go into labor during the ceremony. They've got *months* to go before that. Did I say that? Oops.
Personally, I think Bluebelle is a fair R63 of Blueblood here.
Certainly a harsh punishment for petty vandalism. That'll teach you for not having a personality.
Hmmm... I was thinking more along the line's of Weird Al's Eat It.
Also, coconut oil makes an excellent mix in for coffee vs. cream and sugar.
That's what prince and princesses are for. Marrying off for alliances.
I call foul! Clearly only the Mighty and Amazing Presto is stallion enough for Bluebelle!
Wow Prince laCroix must have spent his whole last life kicking puppies, how else could he possibly deserve... that!
Could it be possible that Elusive is even more over the top than Rarity? Just as well they can't spent to long together, the whole multiverse would be sucked into a back hole of Divahood.
And Rarity and Elusive's relationship.. I don't even... What is that anyway?
3909359 Or to get the annoying relative out of the castle for months at a time. Probably works both ways...
3909628 I'm not sure they make stallions enough for Bluebelle. I was so tempted to go the red and black color scheme...
3911348 You know what they say, there's somepony for everypony. Even if you have to flip dimensions to find them. And if Equestria was sucked into a black hole of Divahood, it would be fantastic (and very tasteful). At the end of On a Cross and Arrow, Rarity/Elusive declared that their little sister/brother needed her/him too much for them to remain together in either dimension. However, that does not preclude a tasteful rendezvous or two...
I'm going to Pony Heck for this one. Shipping Twilight x Thunderlane and Rainbow x Soarin at the same time. That's a lot of wings.
Cute, I like this version of Thunderlane.
Dash? Is there something you want to tell us?
Woah! Go Dash, go Twilight!
3938604 Fixed. You had me worried. It thought it was in the story description.
3938958 I'm starting to think I'm writing "The Lives of a Winning Alicorn" with as much shipping that has slipped into my stories as of late.
3938532 It's always the handsome, quiet ones.
I thought Raindrops was a girl.
Anyway, so much shipping!
3939347 Darn it, that's two. I swear it's the fault of that gender-flipped story I did previously. Fixed. Thanks!
3939007
Well your book selections seem to fit with the Winning-verse
I fell over laughing when I read that part.... been a while since I last heard of a Pony Sutra mentioned in a story (the last time I read one with this fictional book of love making it too was in a comedy one shot, though it was sent to Twilight as a prank by Luna against Celestia -seeing as the sun princess was the female subject in each position lol). Edit: Found it! It is mentioned in chapter two of the story Do You Really Want to Know? by Friendly Uncle.
Another fun EqD Writer Training Grounds tale. Cannot wait to see what else you have in store for us.
P.S. The only complaint I have about this chapter is a minor one. You call her "Spidermare', but if you it to be an official parody, it should be spelled "Spider-Mare" (hyphen and capital letter for the M.). I know it is a small and mostly inconsequential gripe on my part, but seeing as I grew up reading the Spider-Man comics (because my second cousin is Mark Bagley, a long time artist in the comic book world for both Marvel AND DC), it sorta makes me take notice when I see it not spelled like I know it to be. The reason that Spider-Man (and thus why Spider-Mare should be too) is because Stan Lee wanted to differentiate his red and blue spandex wearing superhero from DC's Superman (also a hero clad in reds and blues). I figure perhaps this could also be the case in Equestria so that no one confuses Spider-Mare with Supermare.
But take my rant with a grain of salt (or a salt lick block if you prefer).
Wha- bu- if it's untranslatable, then how-- dammit, Pinkie!
That. Was. Awesome!
Metallica sucks!
/runs away shouting "New Wave and Techno forever!!!!!"
Oh... my...God! That was epically METAL!!! Look out, Brutal Legend, here come the ponies!
3968588 Fixed it. Spider-Mare is now correct. Yeah, I've got enough copies of the 80s comic books that I should have seen that. As close as I've come to being related to a comic book artist is I have a very good friend in San Diego who is friends with Sergio, of Groo fame. I don't collect 'em for future generations to look at through plastic sheeting, I collect 'em to read.
3974042 Glad to know ya fixed it.
And a friend who's friends with Sergio Aragonés?! That is awesome.
I know him best from his contributions to Mad Magazine. Love his art.