Thirsty

by meme-asaurus

The Entire Story Translated Into Chinese, Then Translated Back Into English via Google Translate

Author's Note:

Oh, this is going to be fun.

My name is Kocho, I'm not a monster.

Monster is not going to live in a log cabin to take care of cute little animals. Monster is not going through a bad day to eat a strawberry ice cream. Monster is not going to feel willing to give up Ruirui millions worth of modeling career. Monster is not going to have a group full of kindness and understanding, not abandon you leave a good friend.

Although the identity of the secret monsters are conservative, but who no secret of it. This has always been a natural thing, right? Sometimes my parents to let children to believe that Christmas is more than the story of the horse is also the child to keep a secret you. Sometimes ponies were close friends in order to open the surprise party for her secrecy not also do. Secrets do not equal evil, this is not what the unforgivable mistake. Everyone has this kind of secret. They ...... ah ...... to ...... that ...... protection. Yes, protection. Secret means that they want to protect something.

Today the sun is really hot enough, and very bright. It seems to go out and buy something I have to wear sun glasses. Have you seen my sunglasses do? It is particularly lovely. Their shape is like two red roses love. Ruirui say this style quite tacky, but I do not mind it when I wear it I feel very good.

Now is the time to embark on the biggest challenge of my trip to the grocery store, the horse thing to kind of god. I would never go to smell the smell that will shake my children. Sand sweet watermelon flesh, so pony intoxicated with fragrant pear nectar, are being sold juicy sliced ​​tomatoes, as well as ...... Apple. Sweet, juicy apple, I really love apples.

No pony noticed my nose stuffed with toilet paper group, is really a good thing.

In short, my angel rabbit written purchase list, we need to buy more carrots, while also buy some lettuce. I took a deep breath, fearlessly embarked on a journey. Ah ...... it may be a little uneasy, perhaps ten uneasy? And other pony talk always makes me feel a little nervous, but I have nothing disturbed?

Ah, I am starting to sound like a Ping-chi, or change the subject. Concentrate, look for targets. Carrots, I want carrots. Not a peach, not a grapefruit, not ...... apple, apple, apple, apples, carrots! ! ! To Angel rabbit, Kocho, angel rabbit you to be strong! See if there is a good price ......

I drop a 赛蕾丝蒂娅 Niangqin ah.

40% off big sale.

40% cantaloupe big sale! They go me! They are all mine!

At first I was like a beast-like pounce bolted to the front, but then abruptly stopped halfway out of the car. I am taking the hoof, with a brisk walk way, try to keep pace while also try to put yourself back into a gentle and loving pony.

Unfortunately, I have not seen before on the stalls selling cantaloupe first saw the long lines that zigzag. In front of me are lined with customers, every guy is despicable discharged head just blatantly gone, saddle bag stuffed stuffed with cantaloupe. My cantaloupe ah. I stood in line like a fool, hate and thirst let my anger burning.

"How dare you insert my team! I break your legs!" Jagged voice was echoing in my mind it. Always make rhyming words make you memorable. But the truth is ...... I do not know who jumped the queue, they are just very serious to just in front of me, it is very fair. Waiting for your turn, that is what you learned in kindergarten thing. To like normal ponies like to be like normal ponies like you normal! You are a normal pony!

Time seems to have passed for centuries, my stomach began to sing it. Listen to the sound I suspect that is not my belly Shashi Hou lived a humpback whale. When the last great difficulty was my turn, I went up feebly dragged hoof as hard to restrain the rows in front of me all the ponies have to kill the evil and exhaustion. See those according to the literal meaning of the fruit belongs to me, I was almost able to come up on the spot breath be dead.

The rest of the melon only five.

...... Still worth it.

Slouched back in front of my house, the sun was setting that looks like me tired. It lazily sank after numerous hills surrounding the small mazhen of 赛蕾丝蒂娅 like it went down like a lump stuck on the wall is sliding down the syrup.

I walked through the door, the air was filled with the familiar smell, is basically a small animal who ...... ah ...... excrement. My friends often complain at the time visiting the dice smell children, but I do not really mind. Stay here for a few years, you get used to it. Ah ...... basically used to it, generally it. Honestly, I'm not so sensitive nose.

But this is not so bad, thanks to which stocks had the stench, I became friends and Ruirui. Remember that time when her merry occasion boutiques shop was the first time I heard her name. Well, have not heard of it carefully. I just heard a very young (very very young!) Female designer he opened a clothing store, she sold all her clothes are designed and manufactured pro hoof. (There angle, of course.) I feel so young, to bear such a heavy burden on an independent little girl is concerned it is too much, so I went to buy some stuff going to support her. You know, out of pity. Ah ...... think again, "mercy" does not seem appropriate, "compassion" might be more appropriate. Because when I took the job of town administrator animals when I only eleven years old.

Anyway, when I walked into the store Ruirui when she saw I was screaming scream, as if to see her worst nightmare. She threw herself to start asking a lot like me, "Who did this?!" "Who dares to let a little girl in the mane branches inserted in?!" "You smell like how trash?! '" My dear, how dirty your fur in this way!? "and so would be classified as such an insult ...... ...... problem. (But do not tell her so) with great difficulty opening when I explain this is my usual way, can be said that she looked at me stunned, as if I were another planet. Then apart from anything else, she ...... Honestly, she kidnapped me. She neatly biting my tail drag me away, and drag over the entire town to the spa. After I paid help, Ruirui to their buy one get one gift certificate also came with a service. We chatted a bit ...... I now remember. Anyway, that some chatting, chatting. For example, Ruirui talk about some latest gossip heard her social life, affectionate, like the many years that we already know the whole thing. I said something ...... this, I basically did not say anything. But I'm listening! I'm a very good listener. In fact, listening to gossip Ruirui really a very pleasant thing. Her voice you listen to a few hours will not feel bored. Since then, Ruirui and I have to do it every Sunday spa.

But memories enough, that is melon time! I threw aside my saddle bag, the carrots to the angel rabbit to be responsible. He will not eat too much, right? I mean, he is very self-control, and so I believe he had enough he will put up the rest.

He could not, though he and I go after those who care, now is the fruit of time! Oh, good fruit ah! Oh, it feels great. If my friends can know what it taste like a child, so fresh! So sweet! So ...... so ...... oh simply can not describe in words! It alone can not describe in words! What do not pipe up! Even if the world is now finished down! I only care about my these fruit fruit fruit!

I like a clean sweep swept away the cantaloupe juice flowing down my chin to my neck. I had wanted to use it to erase the hoof, but they had an idea, had a better idea. I quickly ran to the bathroom, grabbed a towel next, carefully use it to every drop of juice on the body are impeccably clean, and then again soiled towels juice into his mouth sucking, suck was not a drop left. Like the evening twilight said, can not be wasted, not that something.

Saliva towel wrung on my (towels I bite a little), I found an angel rabbit is writhing, cute little face face pain. Oh, he was certainly in stomach pain, carrots eat too much.

I blushed and apologized over and over again.

~ ~ ~

I lay in bed, trying to pursue a fine TV drama Sleepy invisible traces. In fact I did a little sleepy did not. I do not know why, after eating cantaloupe that I feel more energetic, seems to be able to finish one or two out of the marathon. Oh, and I really want more fruit, which is really nothing new. (Spirits sometimes really quite annoying.)

Of course, half past one, when it is impossible to have any marathon, so I decided to go to town to go jogging laps relax. Nor outside a pony, street gloomy, creepy atmosphere. If it is a month before I afraid of the dark night to go to the refrigerator to get a drink of water are afraid. Now ...... a bit different, really different, no longer hidden in dark corners waiting to rush out to your captured monster. Now, it feels more like a make you feel very safe and secure thick blanket, but it will not let you heat up. In fact, this very good, it makes you cool and comfortable, as if after a hot day in Japan and crafts throughout the day and drink a large glass of ice lemonade as fun. Hot hot hot hot hot hot hot coke roasted flow of oil to make your V to all your burning ash of burned you have left over for even a day ......

Oh, lemonade, now I really want some lemonade.

No one shops still open, I really feel a little depressed. Here now looks like a ghost town, the only sound is the large number of crickets cheerful songs. You have a close look over cricket it? Their dark eyes really beautiful. I stopped hoof, listening to the crickets two antiphonal singing on the windowsill. That's courtship song, ah, youth love ah. I wish I could get involved ...... I, I mean, and ponies are friends, not cricket.

I trot through every street of small horse town, and now, I guess I can do is go home and then close your eyes hard to sleep ......

Oh.

Oh my god.

I ...... I ran inattentive sweet apple orchard next to it.

Allowed to stare at me, I do not drool. (At least not flow so much)

Apple Jack had a pony. She would not mind if I turn slightly so twice in her orchard, right? She did not know if it would happen.

All branches are empty. Kick-ping season has ended, almost all of the apples have been incorporated into the Apple family's cellar, and properly locked. If small mazhen dark streets filled with loneliness, then now being flooded in the sweet apple orchard is absolutely desolate, as if a buried all falling apples (that is literally) cemetery. I looked around, but each tree is bare. Before, it was not! I did not want to suck them! They are the property of the Apple family, I have to respect my friend, I have to respect them.

I guess Apple Jack one will not go close to the west side of the apple orchard? Is home to the place (ordinary) fruit-eating bat?

......

(Deep breath) "Yeah!"

~ ~ ~

Sunrise is too bright, and they are still too bright. I groaned and put the quilt over the head, and found I was lying in his bed. I do not remember in the end is how to come back up. In fact ...... Last night thing, I did not remember ...... up ...... ......

Ah, ah, divine puppy biscuit ah.

Painfully endure the hot sun, I secretly looked out of bed in the slot. The stinging eyes so I could not help but hissed. On the ground, everywhere suck every drop of juice is not leftover dried apples, a lot of small animals are rodents in them for breakfast. If I'm not mistaken, these dried apples will put a perfect trajectory on the road between my house and the apple orchard.

Dog biscuit dog biscuits, ah, I definitely fall into the super big trouble up.

I Huanglihuangzhang packed with all the apples dry, my mind flashed more than 15 kinds of instant Huishimieji ...... wrong way to dispose of the evidence. I can move them inside the canyon to feed eels, I can point bonfires burned them all, I can ......

"Ah ...... mistress?"

I suddenly jump Lao Gao, a forehead almost hit the ceiling up. "Yes, who is speaking?! Where are you?! Quick, hurry up! Else ...... please do not come out will do ...... please leave Jiuhaola ...... if you can. "

In my bed quilt issued a rustling sound, I just drilled out of bed! Tell you the truth, that's not what a pleasant feeling. A head from my bed lifted. The face is big and red, but also with a mess full of sleepy mane.

"Big Mike? 'I exclaimed softly.

"Yes, mistress?" He replied with dull tone. Big Mike's face, the eyes look dull, I have never seen before, but my day! He saw the whole thing yet! ?

"You, you, you will go to my bed you how come??? 'I asked.

"You command me, mistress."

"You can not do his meow call me 'mistress' it?!?!?!"

Well, I did not really say it. I can not be so rude. Although a gentleman on your bed late at night, and I am about a heart attack, but I can not be so rude.

So I said so: "For, why you always call me 'mistress'?"

"Because you are so insistent, and mistress."

Well, maybe I need another way to deal with my privacy. Otherwise I might answer because Big Mike and crazy.

"Well, Big Mac?" I spend time with the animals to appease the usual kind of kind and comforting tone. "I need you to look back at what happened last night." Obviously, my voice than usual, but also weak and trembling. "Could you do this for me, please?"

"I heard the orchard has happened," Big Mike's voice sounds like a zombie is, it makes me uneasy start getting (but I did not tell him that I was afraid he was not happy), "I went out to see the situation, Then I saw filled with infinite aloof and domineering you, mistress, I cry to you that would like to ask you to do, but then you took my soul stare your town. "

Oh my gosh, I actually took the town on the Big Mac soul stare? How could I so bad? I hope he does not get angry enough.

"When you are forced to bite marks on my lovely, I have been inspired, bright eyes!" Big Mike continued, "You let me open the mind's eye, mistress, so I fear and trepidation as You offer all my apples! "He looks in his speech among intoxicated, and every word he intoned in all impregnated with" trepidation ", but the bright side, at least he did not get angry.

So ......

"Ah, you just say ...... 'your home for all Apple' ......"

"Yes!" That was my brainwashed minions look giggle. "Including our inventory in the cellar! You really are very happy, so you allow me to follow you into your chambers, and a bedroom ......"

"Well, I think now I know it!" I quickly covered his hoof roaring big mouth. I have to quickly think of a way, or I might be tears ran all the way through the whole town. "Well, then, I must ask you to do me a favor, Mr. Big Mac ......"

"I beg you to!" He interrupted me, "called me [BuySomeApples] scribe it! I like your nickname bestowed, the mistress! "

"Ah, well, if you insist on such words." I murmured, "Well, ah ...... meat, meat, [BuySomeApples] Li, the first thing is not allowed to call themselves [BuySomeApples] scribe. "

"As you wish, mistress."

"The second thing to say is not allowed to call my mistress."

"As you wish, mistress."

"From now on, please."

"Good."

"The third thing is to help me put all shriveled apples are cleaned."

Big Mike nodded.

"The fourth thing is to talk to your farmers' position in the family say ...... that ...... you have a big, scary wolf wood alcohol came all the apples they gave stole! Sure to let them believe! "

"What happened to you, Your Highness?" Big Mike asked.

"That ...... do not tell anything last night pony." I said, "Do not mention Apple, and not to mention bite bite, but absolutely not allowed to mention ...... that ...... Shi Qin ...... "

Big Mike cocked his head. "But the little master how to do?"

"What little ......?"

"My little lord, your young horse." He explained, his face radiant. "You say that your child will become the king of darkness and evil supreme new era! You do not remember?"

"My ...... kids??"

"You would not let me use a condom, you know why."

~ ~ ~

I woke up screaming, found himself hanging upside down with its tail in the remote corner of a sweet apple orchard apple tree. Now I can see in my pile of wrinkled dried apples. In addition, nothing too terrible thing. No [BuySomeApples] scribe Big Mike, no apple cellar, but did not want to become less supreme new era of darkness and evil king's young horse owners.

Lesson: make you sleep upside down nightmares.

But I still hung more than a moment, gazing 赛蕾丝蒂娅 golden sun rising. I will always love the sun, no matter that there will be more sun and more heat. I'm not a monster.

Hey, at least I do not sparkle.

The End ...?

(source of the Chinese pseudo-FiMFiction site that generously translates fics like these every day)

Comments

[meme-asaurus]

Apologies if the chapter title sounds a little redundant.

[Cookays]

3801933 Ok I have to ask. What the fuck prompted this chapters creation.

[Grevin5]

?..whhhhhhhhyyyyy?

[meme-asaurus]

3801950
3801955

Those are both excellent questions.

Annnnd I'm going to respond to them.

...With a Vsauce video about boredom.

[Moon Breeze]

Wow just WOW

[cloudranger]

So...just to be clear. You translated this into Chinese proper-like (utilization of acquired chinese language knowledge (dialect unknown)) and then had google translate it back into english?

[Magical Trevor]

At least it got the last sentence (mostly) right.

[wiiman]

3801987 I think he more likely just used Google Translate both ways.

Actually wasn't there a site that would do that for you over and over till it starts not changing?

[Skeeter The Lurker]

I am sorry.

I could not read this.

I was laughing too damn hard.

~Skeeter The Lurker

[Tomi]

This is just great.

[Pen Expers]

MELON TIME!

Ah, ah, divine puppy biscuit ah.

Kocho... Ruirui... Apple Jack... Big Mike...

I think that english > polish > english would also be good.

[Valikdu]

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!

[lunarstallion]

Uh... hmm... what... umm... yes?

[Son of Sun]

[BuySomeApples]. Scribe it.

[Promenius]

>Big Mike

[Type_Writer]

"How dare you insert my team! I break your legs!"

Yeah, that's as I got before I fully lost it. I wanna make that the next big meme.

[ColdGoldLazarus]

This is brilliant!

[Alondro]

3802899 Rarity to Spike: I am inserting your team right now... mmmmm, yeah.

(Cuz dragons got two... or something.)

[Shpoople96]

3801990
Ahh shit, I remember that website...

[blazikenking]

3801964 Seen that Vsauce video before. Watched it again. Why? Just look to the video.

[Luckysweep]

This was pointless, was a (BuySomeApples) time to read, and made me laugh the whole time. Congratulations for that!

[Phenoix12]

Google Translate
Mistranslating your languages for fun and profit.

[Zaehlas]

This made my head hurt.

[Hextechnician]

"make you sleep upside down nightmares."
-Ancient Chinese Proverb

[Jackalope Jack]

What in the name of Tartarus

[kork]

3803492
i will never see spike the same way ever again...

[Jumpitydude]

3802899

Screw it! This whole thing should be a meme!

Oh, I've got to try this with one of my stories. Hold on.

[Alondro]

3806090 There's a reason his name is Spike..

[YukoAsho]

3804395 Mostly profit, though, mostly profit.

[kork]

3809174

Rule 36: No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish.

i'm scarred to look for more stories now

[Alondro]

3811048 You're both scarred and scared.

[PageTurner]

"How dare you insert my team! I break your legs!"

I am going to say that to the next person who cuts in line.

[PinkieShyFan]

Okay, every story ever needs to have one of these.

[TNBi]

Actually I personally know that translator. And no, the Chinese translation is not machine translated. It's written in modern Chinese with some internet slang and inside jokes, and it retained much of a novel's characteristics to native Chinese users. The side effect is that when machine-translated back to English, you'd get loads of gags.

btw he's been waiting for the new chapter of your The Unexpected Love Life of Dusk Shine for ages.

[Gavel Coaster]

I haven't seen such a funny Chinese reverse translation since Revenge of the Sith!

[Imperator Chiashi Zane]

Well, huh. That, besides the grammatical difficulties, was far, far funnier than the original chapter.

Also, Divine Puppy Biscuit. I need to add that one to my common swears. Nopony'll get it, but whatever.

[Captain Storm Dash]

Damn it, Shy, stop being so SEXY!!!

[twisterwinds]

I'd love to se a sequel

[Brony God]

3801933 LOLOLOL!!! XD XD XD The butchered translation from Chinese is one of the most hilarious things that I have ever read

[MoonSparkle The Vampony]

Lol.super funny Chinese translations!

[Pump It Up]

[Ever]

What the fuck?
Those translations made me

~Ever

[Hard-Pressed Scribe]

Hey, who did the art?

[meme-asaurus]

4812184
Okay, here's what you gotta do:
Step 1: Move your mouse over the picture.
Step 2: Click on the word spelled S-O-U-R-C-E.
Step 3:
38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1xjhi5xgU1rsm220o1_250.gif

[Hard-Pressed Scribe]

4814013 Thanks, m8.

[TheGentleTreasure]

XD XD XD XD XD

[PsiGuy60]

Faved instantly for the very premise of Google Translating a story to Chinese and back for the lulz.

[RowanSkie]

Laughing stock.

[einswine]

"No pony noticed my nose stuffed with toilet paper group, is really a good thing."

yes

[1BeeCat3]

Apple Jack had a pony.