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Timey-Wimey


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- THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST PART OF THE FINDINGVERSE. MANY CHARACTERS ARE OOC, BUT ALL WILL BE EXPLAINED IN DUE TIME. -

First story in the Findingverse.

Ever since Rainbow Dash adopted Scootaloo, she's been trying her very best to be the best big sister she can possibly be. And so far, she's been doing a damn good job at it too. And tonight, her, Applejack, Rarity and their younger sisters are going to have a big sleepover! Life couldn't get any better.

But then Sweetie Belle wakes up screaming, and by the time Rainbow gets there Scootaloo is already gone. Taken into the night by a mysterious attacker. And the only evidence left behind is Sweetie Belle's claims of somepony with a rainbow mane...

With the town against her, Rainbow Dash goes is forced into hiding, lest she be left to the angry town's mercy. With only one friend able to help her, she turns to Twilight Sparkle to help her not only clear her name, but to find her little sister.

Now Twilight finds herself setting out into the dark, searching for the missing Scootaloo with only the descriptions of a distraught filly to guide her. And as she sets out into the cold, unforgiving world of crime, what will she find? She wants to prove her friend's innocence and save a missing filly, scratch that, she needs to. But with everypony against them, danger lurks around every corner and she has no idea if what is being presented to her is even correct.

Caught in the threads of a web of lies, Twilight Sparkle needs to learn what is right and what is wrong. But how can she learn when the lies are so close to home?

...And what if Rainbow Dash isn't innocent? What if she's... Guilty as charged?

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 126 )

Sorry, but this is too dark for my taste. But good luck anyways.

.......first off.
that is no where near enough to shatter them. rainbow dash is the element of loyalty, and understands it and inspires it. she would realize that there is nothing more terrible than the feeling that loyalty had been betrayed. a mistake and a horrible one on thier parts, but a mistake made because they were convinced their trust had been betrayed.
secondly........... twilight had no reason to murder futtershy. she could have bound her after she wounded her, and that would have been waht she WOULD have done. in fact cosnidering she killed her in cold blood like that she would have gone to jail herself.
thirdly............ seriously? scootaloo had three months to think about it. likely she would have realized that thre was nothing any of them could do. sweetie does not even do magic yet. what could she have done?
fourthly. even if fluttershy kidnapped someone, its doubtful she is capable of harm. a lot of people do not come to the realization that if she had such a capacity to easily become a monster, the element of kindness would never have chosen her. same with all the other elements too.
and fifthyl...................... cleelstia would have slapped god damn SENSE into her student for breaking everything apart.

Ok, I am guessing that you could use an editor/pre/proofreader.
Still, all-in-all, this one has earned an upvote and a fav from me.

Comment posted by Kodeake deleted Jan 19th, 2014

3810170

I have not yet read this story, but after reading this....

Do I want to?

I'm a sucker for Sherlock. Really I am. Have a point for including him.

More points for getting Sherlock's character right. From his speech, I'm guessing you're going of the British TV show version, but having not personally read the books I don't now if that's what you're basing him off. Anyway, everypony in this is way overreacting, and it's all happening way too quickly. I admit to reading the last chapter first (something I do often with fics that are complete) so I now how most of this turns out, so.... it's too fast. It's just too damn fast, and this would not have garnered this type of reaction, especially since there was no conclusive evidence as of yet.

*Beginning of rape scene*

No. No. nonononononononononono. Just no. You've gone too far, just too damn far. Up until now I'ts been all in character, even if the reactions were all over the top. But now you've just gone off the deepe end. If this fic wasn't completed, this is where I would stop reading and leave with a dislike. However, as it is completed, I'll be finishing before passing final judgment. Which will still most likely be a dislike.

As an after thought, it's not the rape I object to. In certain situations it makes sense and can add a nice.... point to a story should the card be played correctly. This is not playing it correctly.

*beginning of murder scene*

I said off the deep end in my last comment. You've gone through the floor of the deep end.

Oh, and Twi.

and she tried to... Tried to touch me

It's okay to say rape, you're all adults and that's what happened.

.........also the idea of suspecting rainbow is compeltely fucking impossible.............. she was in the same room as the OTHERS when scootaloo was taken. there was no way rainbow dash could have snatched up scootaloo, hide her somewhere, and returned, not even she is that fast.

let me put it this way.................... this story is very, very forced. it only goes along by everyone for some reason being dead set on thinking rainbow dash kidnapped scootaloo. it is unrealistic, idiotic, and vastly out of character and even insulting that the ponies that can basicalyl create a force able to overpower chaos beasts could so easily fall apat.

a story should never, EVER rely on the charactesr being idiots.

this chapter was.... I can't believe I'm going to say this. Brilliant. That was creepy, but well written creep. Of course, I know who did it, but the fact remains that the suspense you've managed to achieve is truly amazing. And more awesomely characterized Sherlock. Really, you write him well.

3810495 except for the part the entire plot entirely realize on the characters being insane or stupid............ rarity tried to rape twilight for fuck's sake. pinkie pie tried to murder rainbow dash. everyone is so stupid that they do not even think for nine seconds that someone could have disguised themselves as rainbow dash....... not to mention that it makes no sense anyone would beleive she kidnapped scootaloo because it makes no sense to begin with.

it entirely realys on stupidity and nothing else. could i accept rarity holding twilight hostage to ensure the supposed traitor is punished? yes. rape her? (an extreme line of profanity and words of madness that would give chthulu a headache follows).

so I read it. And, while I don't regret it, I'm... not a fan. Gonna have to keep this comment short, but here's the deal. You have technical skill. That's plain as day. It's the story that needed work. everything was just so over the top that it was ridiculous. I found myself laughing more than anything. it was almost like they were putting on a terribly written play with terrible actors. Though I have to give you props for that ending; not many people go with the "never forgiven" route. But forgiving is part of the healing process in this case, meaning it will have to happen eventually if they ever want to be even close to normal again.

Oh, and Sherlock and John were written wonderfully. I wish we got to see a bit of their aftermath in this final chapter.

All in all... I'm surprised, but you've saved yourself from the dislike I had planned since that rape/murder chapter. Barely, though. The plot more than deserves a dislike for the sure lunacy of it all but the technical skill and the fact that I'm a sucker for a well-written Sherlock...

3810523
If you'll notice, i was commenting on technical skill not plot. I have no doubts this story line cannot and will never be able to be saved.

:rainbowlaugh: I laughed so hard when he bit her wing I had to stop reading for a little.

Ok. First off: Everyone blaming Rainbow Dash for kidnapping Scootaloo because of the description Sweetie Belle gave? The Damn Description says that 1:Rainbow Dash had adopted her and 2:Sweetie obviously just saw the pony make off with Scootaloo then Rainbow Dash came in from another room. Dash is not that fucking fast. So none of that makes sense.

Second:Judging by the description, Twilight is a Princess. She can EASILY tell everypony in Ponyville to shove their stupidity right up their flanks and to leave Rainbow Dash alone otherwise off to the dungeons in Canterlot with them until this mess is resolved. Hell, should could ask Celestia to send a squad of royal guards to keep everypony under control until the whole damn thing is resolved.

Third:While I haven't read it, I have read peoples comments and there is just too much that just doesn't make sense.

I won't downvote this however as I have not read it. I am not THAT Critical from a fics description... 99% the time.

I really like the story the plot is really good and Fluttershy being scootaloos sister was a great chose

I want to see Sherlock use his mind palace! :rainbowkiss:

Well up to this point I was going for the totally obvious Changeling route, since you put in that line about it being "too perfect." Nice distraction there.

Somehow, i enjoyed reading this. Even though the plot was crazy and there was so much bloodshed I...I actually liked it...I'm really confused.

people love scootaloo that much, huh?:raritywink: great story so far:scootangel::rainbowkiss:

pinkie's cupcakes all over agian:pinkiecrazy:

:derpyderp2:omfg its fluttershy...on cheezburger they had a gif of flight to the finish deleated scence, and it had the same thing....fluttershy as her sister...:rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::yay::yay::yay:so exciting...

Okay, so far this doesn't really have me impressed. I've seen to much of Scoot's having an abusive father, especially recently, for it to have any impact on me, and the writing is just okay. However, I will continue to read because I haven't seen a plot like this one yet. Hopefully it will get better.

Pure epicness for the inclusion of Sherlock and John.

I hate TwiDash but this was a good story

You should start this story with this:
"WARNING! The story you're about to read contains some language that some may found offensive, viewer discretion is advised":pinkiehappy:

3811831 That's one of the reasons there's a teen rating. :)

Okay, despite the rushed story, very very OOC characters, and many moments that I had to facehoof, I actually like this story. How? Why? I have no fricking clue. But I love this. maybe it's because I adore dark stories like these, or for that TwiDash-adopt-Scootaloo story plot. But, anyway, I love it so have a like and a fav.

Royal guards? Is it like the Coldstream Guard?

Would you care to add this story to this group Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo

This the reason why Rainbow Dash can't be the kidnapper:
1. How could Sweetie Belle be so sure that the culprit is a mare? The statement only says that the moonlight only show's the culprit's mane
2. There is no evidence that support Sweetie Belle's statement is true
3. If Rainbow Dash did kidnapped Scootaloo, there is no way that she could fly away, hide Scootaloo somewhere nopony could ever possibly search for and
found her then go back to her bed like nothing was happening. Sweetie Belle scream's almost immediately after she saw the figure
4. What is the motive for Rainbow Dash?
5. The only real evidence that support Rainbow as the culprit is only a blue feather and there are millions of pegasus out there that could get a blue feather
like her
Is that clear citizen's of ponyville? And six VERY IMPORTANT, six you can't just rushed in to punish someone without a proper trial and enough evidence just like that! There is a set of law and procedure to follow.

I just read the description and i want to read as much as i possibly can:scootangel::ajsmug:

Fluttershy stared at the gun. "Twilight... Please... Mercy..." She begged. She looked back at her former friend, and felt as if she was looking into the face of Death himself.
"Say it again."
Fluttershy trembled at the cold tone Twilight's voice had taken on. "M-Mercy..." She whimpered, tears coming to her eyes.
"One. More. Time."
"MERCY!" Fluttershy screamed at the top of her lungs.

There should have been a scene where Rainbow sees Fluttershy dead and says "What happened to Fluttershy?"

To which twilight would respond, "She died."

3812927 I am so happy you caught that reference you have no idea. :3

I was gonna do that, but I decided that since Rainbow was there it would just feel like I was overdoing it.

Now, I enjoyed this. It was a good read, and I liked the mystery elements. However, it would have been a much better :twistnerd: if Rainbow Dash really did kidnap Scootaloo, or at least had Fluttershy do it for her. Maybe it's because I like Fluttershy and don't want her guilty, or maybe it's just that I knew that you wouldn't have Rainbow be guilty. It seems to me that the TwiDash was thrown out of nowhere, so that is another downside. Of course, I didn't look at the tags, I just read the description. And Rarity being a rapist? No. Pinkie nearly murdering Rainbow? Cliched. Twilight's anger is well shown though. Even though I don't like Rainbow, I felt for her in this story. Her exile from the townsfolk and her friends, the loneliness. It really worked. Now, it's not good enough to make my favorites list. I'm sorry. That list is reserved for the fics that either make me laugh really hard or stories that I thoroughly enjoyed. I have little to no problems with all of the fics on that list. But this one had too many major flaws to be included.
1. Rainbow was in the same room as Rarity and AJ
2. The townsfolk turn too fast. The case hasn't even been solved yet. Hate the criminal after the evidence says they are guilty.
3. Rainbow kidnapping Scoots makes zero sense.
4. Fluttershy kidnaping Scoots makes a little sense, but I just don't see that happening. Has she tried talking to Scoots?
5. Scoots completely ignores her older sister. That's a dick move Scoots.
6. John and Sherlock have too little screentime for their role.
This was good, but not good enough for my favorite. You can have an upvote because I did enjoy it, but no favorite. I'm sorry.

Now citizen's of ponyville, there is no evidence to support the fact that Rainbow Dash is the kidnapper, and Rarity, are you seriously going to kill someone
that haven't proved to do anything wrong and if you kill Rainbow Dash will you be able to found Scootaloo? And if Rainbow is not the kidnapper what will you do?

I'm seeing the same thing over and over, so I'm gonna go ahead and say this;

I made a blog post explaining some things, and my plans with the Findingverse. Read that to know where I'm going with this.

Also, I'd appreciate it if people stopped posting about the same thing. :twilightsmile: I've read each and every comment and the same things are being brought up over and over, so if you'd like to get the answer to your questions/concerns/complaints, go read my latest blog post to know where everything is going from here.

After all, the description clearly says that this is only the first story in the Findingverse. :ajsmug: You didn't think I'd leave you with something with so many loose threads, did you? There are six other planned stories in the Findingverse, and I promise that John and Sherlock will get more screentime in those.

And yes, many characters were out of character. I know that. But please mind the AU tag, as this is a whole new universe and that means certain things are going to change. You'll learn why Rarity and Pinkie did what they did soon enough.

Also, in upcoming stories, John and Sherlock will have more screentime. :scootangel:

Well, Rainbow Dash surely need a mechanical wing now more than ever

3811889 Well I think adult rating is better

P.S: This story is fantastic, absolutely fantastic

Fluttershy stared at the gun. "Twilight... Please... Mercy..." She begged. She looked back at her former friend, and felt as if she was looking into the face of Death himself.
"Say it again."
Fluttershy trembled at the cold tone Twilight's voice had taken on. "M-Mercy..." She whimpered, tears coming to her eyes.
"One. More. Time."
"MERCY!" Fluttershy screamed at the top of her lungs.
There was silence for a moment.

Doctor Who reference! Whoot! :pinkiehappy:
Twilight is best River Song :twilightsheepish:

3813993 I know it was a serious moment, but I couldn't resist. :twilightsheepish:

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