• Member Since 5th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 23rd, 2023

Kwakerjak


A thirtysomething Brony from Pennsylvania with a library degree. I also have a Patreon.

T
Source

After reading a book by Spitfire's personal trainer, Rainbow Dash decides that the best way to get closer to her ultimate goal of joining the Wonderbolts is to add strength training to her practices by having one of her friends ride her. However, when she decides that Twilight Sparkle is just the mare for the job, the pegasus gets a bit more than she bargained for.

Artwork by Piggybank12. Used with permission. Thanks to DPV111 for assisting me with story planning.

Chapters (11)
Comments ( 683 )

sweet baby jesus more from kwakerjak. reads enthusiastically

Very interesting, Eager to see where this leads. (Twidash? :twilightblush:)

Well-written, wellcharacterized (is that a word?) and an interesting concept. Tracked.:rainbowkiss:

It may not be shipping but it is still Twilight and Dash in an awesome and cute concept.

Looking forward to more.

That was really cute, and pretty interesting! Waiting eagerly for more. :twilightsmile:

Gaps between paragraphs are a little too big, but story is to good to pay attention on it. Stalin loves "Slice of life" ficks, and this one is fine example.
Also, in Stalin's opinion, Twilight's color should not be described as violet, lavender is more accurate.
Overall: good job! Stalin eager for more.

Interesting... Everything about the concept screams shipping, yet it's not tagged as such. Thankfully it also lacks dark and tragedy, so I don't think we'll be seeing Twi plummet to her death. It'll be fun to see where this goes.

326407
I suppose I should make this matter clear right now: No, I did not forget to add a shipping tag.

Now this is interesting. Have a thumbs up and a track for a little motivation.

326566 Haha, I didn't think so. I just find it's... An interesting start to a non-ship fic. Like I say, everything about it teases TwiDash, but it'll be neat to see this played out platonically.

Tracking this. The characters feel well realized to me, it'd be clear who is speaking from their lines alone.

327548

There is such a thing as "friendshipping" which is the deepening of a platonic relationship beyond what it is portrayed as in canon. However it involves no romantic aspects at all. Friendshipping fics are some of my favorites by far.

Even without the shipping tag this is a great story so far with an equally great premise.
Equestrian activity in Equestria?! :rainbowlaugh:This is gonna be a "wild" ride indeed! :twilightsheepish:

Very well written so far. I could imagine Rainbow being exactly like this. I like these sort of stories, because they don't set up huge character changing events that could conflict with the show or characters.:rainbowlaugh:

:yay::yay::yay:
New Chapter!
:yay::yay::yay:

And now is the part where I harshly edit you using lyrics.

""an quadruple"
"a" not "an"

""after all, maneuvers that were comparatively easy to pull off for fliers were likely .""
unfinished sentence.

"Rainbow Dash looked down at the ground for several second."
I'm MC Don't-Know-How-To-Pluralize-Word
I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl
When there's more of one of something you're supposed to pluralize
But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive



This chapter was great. I wonder if this will lead up to an actual derby where Twi acts as Dash's jockey in a real race?:rainbowhuh:

331253
Thanks. I usually spot that sort of thing myself about an hour after posting, regardless of how much proofreading I've done.

At first I started this because the premise was interesting, now I'm genuinely hooked and left wanting for more. Good Job, you've successfully drawn me in to your story.:twilightsheepish:

331402 I see that happening a lot in the future.:pinkiehappy:

This story is so full of :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::pinkiegasp::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh: Thank-you, Thank-you!
Much muffins for you!:derpytongue2:

I can't wait for the future misinterpretations that I hope to see from the rest of the mane 6.

Twilight is such a boss. She reads books and trains the fasted pony in Equestria. I was thinking of a Dash fic where a new pony rivals Dash (it has probably been done:ajbemused:. This story here may inspire me to get on that, as i have not written anything here yet.
Thanks for the fun story so far.:twilightsmile:

A very nice chapter. I like the characterization of Dash, though Twilight still feels a bit off. But other than that, it's a good read so far. :pinkiesmile:

I'm not sure how Rainbow Dash has ailerons, but ... okay!

341951
I couldn't think of what the equivalent of ailerons are on bird (and, by extension, pegasus) wings. I eventually decided that it was better to use an existing term that might not have a reason to exist in Equestria than to make up my own term and bog down the narrative further with even more of my wordiness as I explained what I was talking about.

341979

Fair enough! Birds don't need ailerons, because they can move their entire wings (one wing up and the other down) to make turns. I am a pilot, so I couldn't help but notice. Good story, by the way!

Very funny, I even know where your talking about, with those aerobatics, that is! Keep it up!
:rainbowdetermined2:

Very interesting. Tracked. Keep it up :pinkiehappy:

Hi,

it was really fun to read.

But the last sentence is bugging me.

I do not think that Twilight would be so snippy and bossy towards Spike like that.
It was like: "Shut up slave. Back to work!"

Maybe something more like
"That's a secret *giggle*. Are all books shelved already?"

Overall definatly a like from me!

"Greaves," not grieves. Greaves are armor for your shins. Grieving is what you do at a funeral. At Twilight's funeral, in the hopefully unlikely event she plummets to her demise.

This certainly promises to be an entertaining fic. :twilightsheepish:

342512
Thanks. I thought it didn't look right, but Chrome's spellcheck doesn't recognize "greaves" as an actual word, so I got thrown off.

Looks good for some friendshipping (can never have enough of that) consider me on board for the ride. Liking and tracking.

Fun story! Hope to see more of it soon :twilightsmile:

341979 You could simply call it a wing roll, or feather roll. Those have no flare, though. Just make up a Pegasus pony named Aileron something, and claim him to be the first pony to do one.

I really laughed at the portion about barrel rolls vs aileron rolls.

goo

Love the story so far :)

One thing I noticed was you said the word "sapient" which means human, and I think that you meant "sentient" which means intelligent. :twilightsmile: Keep up the good work, I love how Twi argues with Rainbow over the words!

331253

This is the single most amazing comment I have ever read. Bravo.

If this story does not spawn a thousand clopfics I will be shocked to my core. Frankly, I half expect this to end up a clopfic. I am as of yet undecided as to how I would take such a development.

344714

Unlikely to get cloppy since it's on EqD now. It would need 2 versions to not be taken down.

Also if you liked those lyrics, here's a PMV of the song they're from. http://youtu.be/aAhthA8QFew

343895 Incorrect, Sapient means having complex emotions. Gorillas for example are sapient as they can form complex emotional bonds. Crows are not sapient as they don't have anything close to emotions beyond 'hungry' 'sex' and 'danger'. Both are sentient however, as both can solve puzzles that require lateral thinking.

341979

I had the same problem in one of my stories and eventually came to the same conclusion and just gave up and used "aileron roll". Clearly, someone needs to write about Aileron and his/her groundbreaking work in pegasus aerobatics.

Anyway, fun stuff so far!

341979 Hmm, adjusting the tilt of your wings might have the same general effect. A barrel roll involves stiff wings, while the other involves tilting your wings to gain air-pressure assistance.

That was awesome. I'm looking forward the next chapters :twilightsmile:

345680
Actually Whiteeyes you have it the wrong way around. Sapient refers to being wise, its second meaning referring to being human, as in "homosapien". Sentient refers to feelings and self awareness. One of the big tests for sentience is the mirror test. An animal is considered sentient if it can recognize itself as the one in the mirror.

Very nice writing. Tracking this.

*Rainbow Dash struggles to get the request out, Twilight cocks her head in confusion as RD stutters. Finally, the words break loose and tumble from RD's mouth in a rapid jumble which managed to create the most awkward sentence possible* Twilight, I need you to ride me right now! :rainbowderp:

*Twilight WHUAAAA!!!* :twilightoops:

*Alondro detects trolling potential! He acts!*

“What was that all about?” came Spike’s voice from upstairs.

Twilight glared at her assistant. “It’s none of your business, Spike. I'm just going to be riding Rainbow Dash a couple days a week from now on! Turns out riding a pegasus mare that much is very tiring work! Now quit eavesdropping and get back to sorting those books!”

Spike: O_____________o

This is definitely one of my new favorite story's due to its execution and unique idea.
:rainbowdetermined2::twilightsheepish:

Yes! Can't wait till the next chapter! :rainbowkiss:

I wonder what the Dash has in mind?

Wow. That is a LOT of technical info. Points for doing your research, but you might not want to show it off this prominently. People generally don't come here to learn, so being bombarded with so much info might rub them the wrong way.

363965

... Those people don't need to read this story then, do they? :scootangel:

Fun stuff.:twilightsmile:

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