Harmony Breaker.
Early in the morning hours, General Bloodwing's carriage landed in Sweyn's Roost. A flurry of servants greeted him as he exited his carriage and they were all set to work with a single wave of the talon. The massive griffon paused for a moment to take in the majesty of the capital; it had been too long since his last visit to the most glorious city in the known world. As Varzeros took in his surroundings, an elderly silver toned griffon moved up and stood squarely in Varzeros's path. The general immediately snapped his gaze to the much smaller silvery griffon and puffed out his chest.
"Well, if it isn't the decrepit old scribe himself. By what honor am I forced to endure your company?" Varzeros boomed as he chuckled slightly to himself.
Keirin Greyfeather stood unphased by the general's insults and instead beset the larger griffon with a stare that could only come from one who had weathered the winds of time and had no quarter left to give for the petty words of arrogant upstarts.
"The king asked that I escort you to the council chambers. He would like to speak with you about this elements business as soon as possible and doesn't want to leave you to your own devices until then," Keirin explained dryly.
Varzeros felt his face flush with heat as his temper rose at the elderly griffons words. He knew it must have been the old bird himself who had insisted upon this and he knew Ozarion prized his old advisor’s advice even more than his own. That fact alone never ceased to put a strain on nearly all of Varzeros's plans. Keirin, despite his age, was still as sharp as ever and meticulously observed every piece of paperwork that came in or out of the capital—Varzeros knew this well enough to consider the scribe a formidable opponent.
The pair made their way down a long, elaborately decorated corridor before being stopped by two guards posted at a massive door. With a nod from Keirin, the guards pushed opened the door and ushered them into a spacious, domed chamber. At the far end of the room, behind a rather large ornate table, sat the venerated king of the griffons, one Ozarion Bright Talon, who ushered them over with a mere wave of the claw. The general and Keirin quickly closed the distance and sat themselves at the meeting table.
The king was the first to speak. "It's been a long time Varzeros, I haven't seen you in over five years. I trust the position I left you with hasn't been too much of a burden."
The general smiled. "No duty in service of the kingdom could ever be seen as a burden, your grace. While the workload is heavy and the hours long, I toil at these tasks for the glory of the kingdom." Varzeros bowed his head.
Keirin cleared his throat at this moment and spoke. "I do not wish to contradict you my good general, but a great many a report that has crossed my table bares the mark of one Avris Grimtalon. I'd be willing to bet my beak that I see nine letters from him for everyone one of yours." The elderly griffon made a point to lock eyes with the general as he finished.
Varzeros mastered himself with supreme effort to avoid showing any signs of falter. "Running an entire country is an extremely taxing endeavor lord Keirin, there are simply not enough hours in the day for me to reply to every single piece of paperwork. Brigadier General Avris is my most trusted adviser and I entrust in him certain duties so that I have more time to oversee the more delicate matters that come with governing a country." He smirked at the older griffon conveying without words that it was his move.
Keirin huffed at the statement. "And what of the King's demands for monthly reports on the princesses of Equestria? Were lucky to see a single report on either of them even half that often."
Again Varzeros bit his tongue—the old bird was indeed meticulous. "Our reports on the well being of Celestia and Luna fall far below the importance of a number of other issues we must bring to the kings attention. The reports we do provide are well documented and go into fine detail exactly how the former leaders are being treated under our rule." Varzeros stated with a smug grin, however his smug attitude began to vanish as Keirin brought up his next point.
Keirin smiled. "Then would you like to explain to our good king why, according to my confidential reports from griffons serving inside Canterlot Castle, you have made Princess Celestia your personal chamber servant and routinely abuse her with little to no cause?"
Keirin held his breath hoping beyond hope that this information would push the general beyond the tipping point. For a moment Keirin believed he had won; the deadly glare he was receiving from Varzeros was so strong he could have sworn he felt it on his very flesh. But everything began to crumble when the general smiled that sadistic smile at him.
"I commend you on your supreme efforts to keep our good king as in touch with the goings on with his kingdom as you've done Keirin but I believe on this occasion you may have overlooked a scroll or two. While it is true I now keep the princess of the sun as a personal attendant, it is only because she was caught sneaking messages out to the Crimson Wing Offensive, the single most active rebel group in Equestria. We believe it was Celestia herself who provided the rebels with the patrol schedule they needed to launch their small scale assault on our barracks in Cloudsdale," Varzeros huffed.
"In the wake of her willful act of sedition I knew the only course of action was to keep her under my own close, personal watch at all times. From that point forward she has been assigned the role as my personal handmaiden." Varzeros cast one final knowing grin at Keirin before he sat back in his chair silently.
Ozarion paused on his adviser for a moment to see if he had any further rebuttals, when he was certain Keirin was finished he turned to Varzeros.
"While I'm glad to see you both pursue the safety and stability of my kingdom with such fervor, we have something more important to discuss. As you no doubt are aware, general, I have received word from my runesmiths and they assure me that we will have the means to destroy the elements of harmony by the week’s end. Since it was you who broached this agreement with the spirit of chaos, you should be the one to have the honor of destroying those damnable gems."
Varzeros swelled with pride. "Why, your grace, you humble me, I was simply acting in the best interest of the kingdom—I had no desire for any sort of reward. But if you see fit to allow me the honor, then I certainly won't pass up the chance. I will see to it personally that the elements are reduced to a fine dust and scattered on the wind." As the general sat back in his chair with a smugness few could rival, he was unaware of how swiftly things back in Equestria were about to go awry.
It was nearing high noon in Equestria as Avris Grimtalon stretched his neck, he had been sitting at the general’s desk since breakfast filling out paperwork. Even though he had been tasked with taking on the generals workload while he was in the capital, nothing had really changed for Avirs. He had been doing the majority of the general’s work for years now; the only difference now was that the chair he sat in was a bit more luxurious than the one in his office.
A faint knocking interrupted his concentration and he turned his head to the main office door, swiftly rising from the desk glad if only to have a reason to stand for a change, and made his way to the door. There before him stood the timid, almost frightened form of princess Celestia. He noticed a tray full of food floating in her weak, golden telekinetic aura.
"I beg you pardon, sir Avris, but I have brought your lunch as well as a personal message." Celestia bowed her head low.
Avris couldn't help but feel unsettled with the alicorn’s mannerisms—it was almost like watching a whipped dog whimper. With the wave of a talon, he ushered her inside.
"Why thank you, Celestia—with all the work I've been doing I had honestly lost track of the time. Place the food on my desk and take a seat for a moment." Avris motioned to a large lounge chair near by.
The alicorn seemed to freeze in the doorway, unmoving, her eyes somewhat confused as to what to was happening. Avris saw this and could only shake his head; he knew the general could inspire fear but this was bordering on the ridiculous.
"I can assure you, my dear, this isn't a test or anything, I don't have any orders for you at the moment and I would like to read my letter. Please relax for a moment while I tend to these matters." Avris spoke in a soft gentle voice as he once again motioned with an outstretched talon to the chair.
Celestia looked at him with glassy eyes, as if the mere act of offering her a place to sit was enough to make her cry. With the barest of movement she nodded and sat down gracefully. Once Avris saw she was comfortable he turned to the letter she had delivered and opened it. The letter was from his wife and seemed more of a mission statement then a letter.
"To my loving husband,
Since you haven't the time to make it home for meals I have taken it upon myself to request through your office a personal visit. Our daughter has seen less of you in the past few months then she did in the womb. I have committed a hostile takeover of your midday meal—your colonel and private will be seeing you within the hour.
Your loving wife, Eyra."
Avris swallowed hard. This was not a pleasant turn of events. Being forced to visit him at work was not something his Eyra was going to be happy about. With a shaky head, he turned to Celestia.
"Celestia, would you please return to the kitchen and bring me two more meals identical to my own? It appears I will be having company for luncheon today. After you bring them back you may take a two hour lunch break yourself. I fear I will have my talons quite full, so I won't be needing your assistance."
Celestia opened her mouth as to speak but quickly turned her head back toward the ground. Avris saw this and quickly addressed her.
"You may speak, don't be afraid."
Celestia against he better judgement glanced at the Brigadiers face and saw not the furious hard glare she was expecting but a soft compassionate glace. If gave her the strength to look up and speak.
"M-my lord general Bloodwing has instructed all the staff in the castle that if I am found away from his chambers for anything more than twenty minutes I am to be beaten and brought to him immediately." She cast her eyes back to the ground as she finished. She was taken by total shock, however, as the brigadier stormed off to the generals desk and snatched up a piece of parchment. She saw him furiously scribbling down something before snatching the paper off the desk and presenting it to her.
"If ANYONE in the castle gives you any issues about the break I allow you to show them this and remind them who is in charge at present." Celestia was somewhat shocked at the look in the griffons eyes. He had the same fiery anger in his eyes that Varzeros had but she could almost feel a warm glow coming off it, as if it were directed not at her, but at anyone who might disrupt the free time he had given her. With a deep bow, Celestia took the parchment and made her way to the kitchens to fulfill the brigadier’s orders.
No more than ten minutes after Celestia had delivered the extra food did Avris' wife and daughter storm into the room. The thing he loved and hated the most about his wife was her complete and total bluntness. She was never afraid to do or say whatever was on her mind at a moment’s notice. Now here she was, in all her terrifying glory, glaring at him across his desk.
"Colonel Eyra and private Leetha reporting for duty sir." Her words were harsh and her tone and mannerisms only reinforced her overly negative mood. Luckily for him, his daughter did not seem to share her mother’s sourness and bounded around the desk, nearly crash landing into her father’s chest.
Avris laughed warmly and scooped the child up into tight hug. "How is my little song bird today?" he asked in a chipper tone.
"I'm super excited for my recital next weekend, mommy and me spent this morning at Ms. Olivia's so I could practice. Are you gonna be able to come see me sing this time daddy?" Avris felt a pang in his chest as his daughters tone turned somewhat sad when she asked him if he was coming. He also didn't miss the glare his lovely wife was giving him just behind their daughter.
"Well you will be very happy to hear, my dear, that I will most certainly be there for your recital." This news seemed to catch Eyra by surprise and she momentarily lost her frosty demeanor.
"What do you mean you’re going to make it? Has your schedule changed in some way I am unaware of?"
"In fact, it has, my beautiful wife—once the general returns from the capital I have requisitioned a month of leave. I informed him that I have been busting my wings off with all the paperwork around here and that I found the lack of time I had to spend with my family was becoming unacceptable. Surprisingly, he said he felt the same way and would have let me start my vacation today, but he needed me to run Equestria until his return."
Leetha was immediately giddy after hearing the news, "Are you serious, daddy? You’re gonna be at home every day for a whole month!?" Avris smiled at the girl and patted her head.
"Well, hopefully we won't be at home every day, we might take a trip to the capital for a few days to visit your grandparents. Staying cooped up in the house all day would be very boring." He laughed.
The news seemed to soften Eyra’s features a great deal and, for the first time since she had entered the office, she actually smiled.
"Well, that really is good news. I'm not even sure I'll be able to put up with you for a whole month after seeing so little of you. I do like the idea of visiting the grandparents, though—I haven't seen my father in ages."
"Well if you could, would you send them a letter when you get home and inform them of our intentions, just to make sure we don't have conflicting issues?"
Eyra sighed and took a seat next to her husband. "I supposed to could handle your mail for you brigadier, but for now why don't we eat before our lunch gets cold?"
The griffon family settled into their meal, quietly chatting amongst themselves, all the while two messages from two locations both carrying equally dire news were headed straight for Avris's desk.
General Varzeros sat stewing in a silent rage in his massive bed chamber in the royal palace. He had been planning to use his time in the capital to personally attend to a few issues that were currently slowly progressing on his grand scheme. Unfortunately for him, it had become apparent on day one that Keirin had command and control in Sweyn's Roost comparable to what he had in Canterlot. While he had never caught a single one of them any time he had ventured outside of his room he could feel the eyes of Keirin's spies glued to the back of his head. He had heard tales of the old bird’s secret network of spies that permeated the capital. Shadow seekers, they had been nicknamed by the royal guard, gathering any form of information they could get their hands on before slinking back to the shadows to fairy it away to their master.
For this reason, Varzeros had been largely confined to his room for most of the duration of his stay, not risking giving that damned old fool even a scrap of information. Luckily his stay was nearly over; the meeting with Discord would go down tonight and in the morning the means to destroy the elements of harmony would be finished and he could return to his kingdom. He was brought out of his train of thought by a rapping at his chamber door.
He could feel his anger boiling over—he had left explicit instructions not to be disturbed until the meeting with all the servants in his wing. Whoever was at his door would be lucky if they walked away with their throat intact. As he reached the door he nearly tore it off its hinges with the force he used to rip it open.
"I thought I informed everyone that no one was to disturb me!" he screamed.
"Yes, well, unfortunately general, my orders carry a bit more weight around here then yours," Ozarion stated smoothly.
Varzeros barely managed to stammer out an apology, "Y-yo-your grace! Please forgive me, sire, I never imagined you would personally come to my chambers. Please, come in and have a seat."
Varzeros quickly ushered the king in and pulled out a chair for him around his dinner table. "Would your grace like a refreshment of some kind? I brought a few bottles of wine from my person cellars with me, purchased from the griffon monks in the Hollowing mountains."
Ozarion nodded and Varzeros poured them each a goblet of wine and offered the king a glass before sitting down at the opposite end of the table. The two locked eyes for a short moment, each taking a sip of their wine. Varzeros was the first to break the tentative silence.
"Might I ask your grace what brought about this personal visit? It's not every day the king drops by one’s personal apartment even if the griffon in question is a general."
Ozarion chuckled lightly, "Does a king need a reason to visit his subjects? You also undervalue yourself, general. It was you work that laid the foundation for the invasion and eventual victory in Equestria. I was merely stopping by to inquire about your well being, you aren't the type of griffon to spend his days locked away."
"I fear the rural life may have taken root in me, your grace. The hustle and bustle of the capital is far removed from what one experiences in Equestria. I tend to spend my days now lounging in my study cradling a good book rather than getting mixed up in the fast paced arena that is politics."
Ozarion took another sip of wine, never removing his eyes from Varzeros. The general could feel the penetrative glace of the king on him; while the king’s attention could be swayed at times with matters of the people, Varzeros knew Ozarion was no fool. The king may be young, but he was fierce in his ambitions. He had a natural gift for ruling that even Varzeros had to respect, a gift that was as unpredictable as the king’s visit this very evening.
Ozarion smiled, "Well, I can surely respect that—living so far away from one’s own people, it can't be helped to pick up a trait or two from the locals. I just trust your edge hasn't dulled from spending so much time in a place so mundane as Equestria."
Varzeros allowed himself an internal sigh of relief, it was clear to him now the only reason for the kings visit was to determine if he was still willing to go forward with the deal with Discord.
"I can assure you, your grace, that I am as steadfast as ever. I am almost giddy with anticipation for the morrow when I can wield the tool of our salvation in my own hands."
Ozarion smiled and placed his cup on the table. "That's exactly what I wanted to hear, general. I'll take my leave now, be sure to get your rest. From what I hear, this Discord fellow can be quite a handful to deal with."
With that the king exited the chamber leaving Varzeros to his own devices. The general merely chuckled to himself; he was so close to victory, he wouldn’t allow an army of ten million interfere with his plans let alone one spirit of chaos. Varzeros sat back in his chair, taking another long pull from his wine glass, effectively emptying it. Come morning the last remaining obstacles in his way would be removed and he would be free to continue on with his plans. With a wicked smile he closed his eyes, hoping to dream dreams of the morning that was to come.
Varzeros could barely contain his excitement as he marched down the long corridor to the runeforger’s chambers. He had waited over twenty years to see the instrument of Equestria's true downfall and being so close to it had reverted him to a mere schoolboy. As the massive door into the runeforge opened for the nobles, they were buffeted by a wave of intense heat. The temperature inside the forge easily jumped forty degrees, leaving the king, his adviser, and Varzeros panting as they trekked through the hall.
It wasn't long before the foremen halted the march, leaving the small group standing before a massive furnace, flames and smoke spewing high into the air. As if by some grand design, as soon the group arrived the senior runesmith called a halt to all production and seized a pair of heavy metal tongs. With supreme care, he removed a large object from the great forge and placed it carefully into a vat of quenching oil. As the object was removed, its form became more pronounced, appearing to be a warhammer of massive size.
The deadly end of the weapon appeared to have runes engraved on all sides that glowed a faint yellow. With the utmost care, the master runesmith lifted the now cool object off its makeshift pedestal and approached king and company. He bowed low to the ground and offered up the mighty weapon.
"I present to you, my king, the instrument of harmony's destruction. We, here in the great forge, have affectionately named it 'Harmony Breaker'."
Ozarion turned his glance to Varzeros who promptly moved to the head of the group. With an outstretched talon he grasped the mighty weapon and hefted it into the air. It was heavy, and he could literally feel the power radiating off of it. He took a step back and performed a few practice swings, testing the weapon’s weight and balance.
"It's perfect, I have never before held such a fine weapon. You have outdone yourselves, humble masters. You are certain this weapon will destroy the elements of harmony both physically and magically?"
The master runesmith lifted his head to match Varzeros' gaze. "My lord, if you strike the elements with this hammer it shall be as if they never existed. Our runeforging is without fault."
Varzeros could do nothing but smile, here, resting in his hands, lay the final instrument of Equestria's downfall. He could hardly wait for the brief meeting awaiting him with the spirit of chaos, and could almost hear the elements shattering as he left the great forge.
The trio left the great forge and made their way to the war room where the meeting with Discord would take place. As the guards opened the grandiose door, the king and company were met with a startling landscape. The interior of the war room had been transformed into a vision straight out of the mind of a madman. Chairs and tables floated across the room, goblets conversed with themselves about which liquid they preferred to be filled with, and the paintings decorating the walls had taken on the lives of their own visages, griffon kings who argued endlessly with one another over who ruled best.
"I hope you don't mind, but I was a bit tired of waiting so I decided to amuse myself with the scenery," came a whimsical tone from seemingly out of nowhere. In a brilliant flash of light, the spirit of chaos materialized in front of king and company, bowing deeply before snapping his fingers and returning the room to its natural state.
"I could tell from the looks on your faces that my preferred arrangements weren't going to work, so in order to make this all move along smoothly I suppose we can discuss the matter in a more normalized environment." Discord proceeded to the far end of the war table and sat down gracefully while motioning for the rest of the group to sit down as well.
As the king adjusted himself in his chair he cleared his throat. " Lord Discord, I trust you know why we have gathered here today?"
"Why of course I know why we've all gathered in this terribly droll little room; we've come to discuss exactly how you plan to destroy those precious little gems over there on the table."
Ozarion cleared his throat, "Quite—we present to you the culmination of over two decades worth of work and research." Varzeros stood up next to the king and unbuckled the warhammer from his back, placing it gently on the table.
"The runeforged war hammer 'Harmony Breaker' will reduce the elements of harmony and the magic they posses to nothing."
Discord's head stretched clear to the other side of the table and inspected the weapon. "Hmm, it does seem rather impressive. So, will I be doing the honors, or will that fall to our esteemed king Ozarion?" Discord mused.
Ozarion shook his head. "General Varzeros will be doing the honors—he is, after all, the one who put this whole thing together."
"Well, if you all would be so kind I am a very busy spirit of chaos, so if we could get this evening’s show underway I would be very appreciative."
Ozarion raised a talon and motioned to the servants at the door behind him. Immediately the doors opened and a cart carrying a large anvil pulled by four burly guards was brought into the room. Together, the four guards hefted the anvil off the cart and placed it down next to the middle of the table. Without a word the guards and servants quickly exited the war room and closed the door behind them.
Varzeros rose from his seat, placing a talon on the warhammer and gripping it tightly. He paced over to the anvil, weapon in hand, and stood up on his hind legs, plucking the element of magic from the necklaces sitting on the table and placing it on the anvil. With the warhammer clenched tightly in his right arm he lifted the weapon high into the air and with all the force he could muster brought it down onto the bejeweled necklace. With only a small explosion of light, where once the element lay, nothing remained.
General Varzeros made quick work of the task, destroying all six elements in rapid succession. As the hammer fell on the final necklace he let the warhammer slip from his grasp and clatter to the ground, panting heavily.
"I must say, you seemed to enjoy that a bit too much general," Discord chimed in.
"I don't see how I could have enjoyed it less—those accursed things have been the sole power of Equestria for centuries. Celestia and Luna used them to hold dominion over most of the world for far too long. That ends now. We have upheld our end of the bargain, chaos lord.
Now it is your turn to uphold yours."
Discord grinned. " Well I shall certainly try, but my ability to uphold my end relies solely on whether or not your little hammer worked."
Discord turned his gaze to the heavens locking eyes with the setting sun. He rose a claw and, with a snap of his fingers, attempted to set the sun and moon free from their false masters control. For a moment nothing happened, but then slowly the sun began to rise back up into the sky. The entire collective party watched, awestruck as the sun crept back up into a position denoting high noon.
Discord smiled gleefully. "It is done! The sun and moon are now once again moving in their natural alignment ."
"How can you be sure of this?" Varzeros questioned.
"Think, my dear general. Celestia has no idea whats happening at this very moment. There is no way she could possibly have moved the sun in alignment with our actions. Our deal is done, I shall now take my leave. Equestria no longer needs me as long as you all are in charge."
With a snap of his fingers the spirit of chaos disappeared from the room without a trace. This, however, was not enough to draw the attention away from the now free roaming celestial bodies. Ozarion, Keirin and Varzeros all knew looking at that mid day sun that things would never be the same again.
Avris glared down at the two letters sitting on his desk. He could hardly believe either but the details provided could not be overlooked. Facility 87 had been entirely wiped out, not a single griffon stationed at the facility was alive to verify exactly what had happened. Then there was the even more pressing report that not only had the elements of harmony and their families escaped Ponyville, but they had done so with the aid of a grown dragon.
Avris was hard pressed to begin writing the letter he knew he had to write. This turn of events would totally obliterate any chance he had at getting personal leave to spend with his family. With all that in mind, he raised the stamp bearing his sigil and pressed it into the hot wax, sealing the letter to the general. Duty, Honor, Family: that was the griffon way, and Avris had been raised his entire life to embody that philosophy.
With that stamp, the letter was sent off to general Varzeros with the utmost haste. Avris had brief fantasies about what would happen when the general returned to Equestria after reading the news. None of them, however, would prepare him for the savage rage that was to come.
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Please tell me that the elements will be back or if not kill Discord slllllllowly
5584658 You are gonna be disappointed on both fronts.
General Varzeros is not going to be happy about this news.
5584665
You have some guts.. its this wasnt such a good spike story you may have lost me
Ozarion and his adviser seem to be rather respectable gentlemen. In his earlier appearance, Ozarion declared this war for the good of his people, never even thinking his actions would harm any innocent being (pony, griffon, or otherwise) beyond the soldiers fighting on the field. Keirin's questioning about Celestia and Luna makes it clear that Bloodwing is hiding his actions in Equestria from them.
Speaking of which, Bloodwing is getting less likable as time goes on. Ignoring his orders for taking care of Celestia, he gleefully hammered away at the very gems that prevented global disaster time and time again. I'd imagine this to be a symbolic gesture of some kind. His personal plans don't seem to be for the benefit of anyone besides himself, likely even hurting more people in the process. A good example of a villainous Dragon with an Agenda.
Now, one small thing I noticed. During Keirin's inquiries, he danced around quite a few things, that much is certain. He outright lied about Celestia to cover his tail feathers, but he never answered about what he's doing with Luna. Ozarion stepped in before that train of thought could be followed. A few chapters back it was mentioned that Luna was being experimented on (an event that I have little doubt will end up sending Spike into a raging mad-on down the road a bit.) Is it possible our dear General coat lining, I mean, Bloodwing's agenda involves an A God am I moment?
To keep my blood pressure in a reasonable range, I think I'll move on to a griffon that doesn't make me rage like Ornstein and Smough on New Game Plus. Avris is yet another official who gives me the vibes of being here because he has to be. He knows his country needed some support and is willing to put up with Bloodwing's cruel rule to keep his loved ones safe. I can definitely respect this man. His response to the General's orders for Celestia cements that much in place. I hope he finally gets that vacation time sooner or later. The dude deserves a bit of a break. And a bottle of alcohol. I don't drink, but I'm fairly certain being around Bloodwing too long would drive me to take my first step by chugging a six pack or three.
I'm still enjoying this story quite a bit. Wait, what's that? You want to know what I thought of Discord? Well, I really don't have much to say. He was as comedic as ever, gave off that sly demigod vibe, and was quick to honor his end of the bargain. I liked him. If he crops up again, I have no doubts in your ability to write him well. Perhaps he'll do a trade of some sort with Spike's group to even the playing field a bit? I look forward to the next update.
5584721 xD
Nice chapter, it's nice to see that not all of the griffins are total dicks. Though the distraction of the element seems a little... off, I can't help but wonder if they were only physically destroyed and still remain in spirit...that's just me though great chapter overall, but I wonder what exactly Discord is planning...
5584868 For the most part.
5584721 I have a feeling I might be losing a few people once I get to Bloodwing coming back to Canterlot.
5584736 Still love this guy. Avris is by far my favorite character in this story now that I've really cemented what I want his character to be and his journey. I think he'll quickly become a fan favorite as well.
5585051 They be totally and completely gone.
5585066
I shutter at the implication of what you just revealed...
5585079 Hmmm. Shutter rhymes with Flutter... Isn't that interesting.
Poor Celestia, I hope that she gets rescued soon by Spike.
Anyway, found this on the front page today and it was really awesome, keep up the good work.
Or does she? After all, holding up your end of a deal is so... Unchaotic
And assuming this is post reformation Discord and it wasn't the disharmony of the invasion that freed 'old' him, he doesn't really need to destroy the elements does he? After all, Shy pinkie promised to never use her element on him .
On a totally different note, Avris is best
ponygriffon5585075 Well that's sucks, I don't suppose the tree of harmony will have any role to play in the story?
5584665 so i take it spike will not be getting the powers of the elements, and the black vines are gona attack everyone?(season 4 start)
5585135 Discord is probably gonna seem off to a lot of people because I have a pretty different take on him then other people. I don't see him as this being thats only purpose in life is to just cause chaos constantly 25/8 with no rhyme or reason. I see him as more of a balancing mechanism the universe created to tip the scale back into place when things get a little to UNchaotic. I mean if there was ever a place that was to orderly Equestria is pretty much it. So in my little world here the elements of harmony upset the natural balance by giving the world a tool to tip the scale to far in the side of order, Discord wanted them gone and went through with the deal because with them around he can serve his purpose.
As for Avris, yes, he most certain is best Griffon. He will continue to get even more best griffon i assure you.
5585191 Nope everything related to the elements of harmony is kaput. They are a very toxic element to good story telling because of how deus ex machina they are.
5585155 Back during the beginning of the fic some guy had a big issue with me portarying Spike and Twilight as mother and son because they are clearly not that in the established canon. However the gentlemen didn't notice that this fic is tagged Alt universe so established canon doesnt really matter here. He has since come back to the fic with an understanding of what Alt Uni is and is now a fan.
The comment you quoted was a fan telling the previous upset gentlemen to shall we say "Get over it" in a less then kindly fashion.
5585217 This is an Alt Universe story, things that happened in the show didn't necessarily happen in my story. I.E the black vine thing.
5585066
Oh my, it seems I forgot to mention my thoughts on the Elements being destroyed. I blame Monster Hunter for distracting me.
At first glance, it seems like an odd move. They're important parts of the canon after all. Then I realized two things getting rid of them did in your story's favor. First of all, it showed what kind of threat Spike is facing. These gems have been guarding Equestria, if not the world, from threats of all shapes and sizes for at least a thousand years, and they just erased them from existence. I may be the madman brave enough to charge the big fat guy atop Anor Londo with a twig and plank of wood, but facing these guys is out of the question.
Second, it eliminated an easy way out for the ending. I love the show (otherwise I wouldn't be here), but the Elements of Harmony are some of the most blatant Deus Ex Machina I've ever seen. Returning the Moon Princess from the clutches of an eldritch abomination? Yep. Sealing the God of Chaos in stone and later reversing it? Yep. Something that could have stopped an invasion of giant, shape shifting bugs? Only implied, not outright stated or shown, but yep. And let's not start on the crystal palace. This helps ensure the ending will be worthwhile and not just a case of the shiny stones coming in to save everything.
Come to think of it, you've dispatched all of the classic quick fixes in this story. The Elements are completely gone, Discord is neutral, removing him from direct play, and Celestia is bound by servitude to keep her sister safe (or so she thinks.) The only reasonable player of that level still out there is Spike's master, but I doubt he'd swoop in to save everything at the end. He might be sitting on the sidelines as we speak watching everything that happens through his servants, but he seems like the type who would sit out until it escalated too far for his liking.
5585268 It's like this guy sits in on my planning sessions while Im alone in my room drunk at 3 am frantically typing away in a word doc trying to get the next chapter out.
5585230 I'm assuming the anti Deus Ex Machina you pulled then has rendered the mane 6 more or less 'ordinary' ponies then?
5585287 Yep yep. Maybe even more then just the mane 6. I mean, the sun and moon are spinning on their own now.
5585294 well even minus their sun/moon power, the princess's are- generally speaking- much more powerful than a standard pony (despite being substanially weaker than they act like they are, as you established),aren't they? Unless they drew their power from their connection?
5585315 It's actually getting pretty close to happening in the story so I'm just gonna tell you to wait maybe two more chapters and you'll see what I mean.
I am wondering something with the mlp cannon that dragons grow in power with greed will his power being influenced by emotions more now that the Elements of Harmony which he was extensively exposed to drawing back at his magic reservoirs; as hinted at by his feelings for Rarity being able to revert him from a greed growth. If that is the case would the emotions he feels when he sees how Celestia is being treated when she seems to have been more of the mother figure for him in early life will his magic, size power or any combination of those go through the roof. This would explain why Discord would actively destroy the elements when the Griffins impose their rule they force Order to over rule any Chaos meaning he needs to flip the table and upset the balance anyway he can changing the orbital mechanics is a start, but we all know him well enough to have a bigger plan and Spike seems to be the most likely piece for said plan.
5585418 I pull my dragon lore straight from the bible of fantasy adventure, Dungeons and Dragons. No mlp canon concerning dragons is in play in this story, the whole getting bigger as they get more greedy thing is non existent in my story, hence the Alternate Universe tag.
As far as the griffons causing an over abundance of Order that Discord would need to balance, I'm not really sure where your getting that from. If anything things in Equestria are more chaotic then anything because the place is being ruled by a lunatic. A mad mans order is not true order.
5585471 Well I thought you were integrating both the lores. Order is order regardless that is why order and chaos are neutral though changing from the good harmony to the evil ironfisted regulated constantly the same rule of Bloodwing would cause major disharmony and chaos the after math would destroy it removing the chaos of fun and art and free will which is what Discord would strive for and feed off of though with that dramatic of a change he would be sapped of his power due to the crashing of thaumic chaos in the world making him not able to be a major player alone unless there is a massive release of chaotic energy such as the destruction of the elements. Ergo Discord may be influencing a helping factor that could make the coup possible such as allowing Spike to burn emotional energy in spells making a rage fueled dragon sorcerer with out previous limitations.
5585513 Im afraid I can't really explain to you my logic with Discord. His role in this entire thing is designed around my own personal standards for order chaos right and wrong good and evil and I can't really expect anyone to understand that but me. I knew people were gonna have trouble wrapping their heads around him before I started this thing and it's something I just decided Id have to live with.
I'm not often torn on stories, usually it's clear whether I like the premise or not but yours has me stumped. Your setting is interesting enough and while covers on tread ground isn't so common it's boring, and including some D&D lore about dragons is nice...I don't know, I want to like it but I kept finding myself skipping over things and losing my focus while reading it. Maybe because it mixes MLP and D&D but not in the right quantities? I have no answers for myself.
The story is enjoyable enough but even after reading all of it I still don't know whether to give it a thumbs up or down.
5585956 I'm just glad you bothered to read friend. After all I can't make everyone happy, all I can do is write down the vision I see in my head.
5585974
Keep at it for sure, you got a better than 10:1 like ratio so your story is certainly doing something right!
This is going to bother me all night in all honesty. I just can't put my finger on it what gets me about your story. I should be able to describe it but I can't. Seriously failing as an editor here.
Anyway, ignore me, keep trucking on, and best of luck.
5585985 I plan to! Thank you very much for your feedback. The comments are honestly what drive me to keep going, good, bad or otherwise.
Ohhh this is so goooood
I love this story mate.
This chapter is giving me mixed feelings. On one hand I have to applaud you for getting any deus ex machina bull out of this story.
On the other hand though I feel like it went to easy (probably because there is a 20 year blank). I think the main part that irks me was that nothing really drastic happened when they were destroyed. Though I guess the next chapter will show us whether it actually did.
5586555 Give it time. The effects are gonna be spread gradually throughout the story.
5585568 Okay got it. I can't wait to see your take on it.
5584665 and watch they F up so badly that the world will now disintegrate piece by piece.
5586826 Or things could turn out better when everythings all over. Only time will tell.
5586993 Sometimes when you lose something trying to replace it is the only way to fill the hole left by the loss.
If the griffons have really succeeded in destroying the true Elements of Harmony, they have just truly bent the entire world over a barrel. And the Ironic thing, the ponies would probably be the last creatures Discord will reem.
When Spike gets to Canterlot, Varzoes' rage, will be as nothing compared to the drangon's WRATH.
5587407 It's interesting how many people seem to think Discord has a major role to play in this story, or even a minor role to play. Personally (think about that considering I'm the author) I see him more of guest appearance.
As for Spike getting to Canterlot sadly it's still a ways off but oh boy is it gonna be AWESOME when we get there.
5587422 Ah-ha, I get it. Casting the Lord of Chaos as the ever present watcher. Not a role he plays very well, or often. But then he also tends to be a writer's crutch for when they need to mix things up in a hurry, for no apparent reason. Nicely done.
As far as Spike's arrival to Canterlot, Hopefully there are still enough of Celestia and Luna to save that he doesn't just go totally thermo-nuclear when he sees what the 'good' General has done to them.
So, I may be wrong seeings how I just read this entire thing last night, but does the problem getting these out have to do with editing? If so, I'd be glad to lend a hand.
Question: in the previous chapter, Spike mentions having to cast a spell to put the Cake foals into stasis. Shouldn't they, you know... be grown up by now? Twenty years after Season Two? Also, where is Shining Armor and Princess Cadance?
5587249
Ah, nevermind. Saw this and okay, but you probably should have made that clearer. Still, good story. Always love seeing Spike being badass, and him claiming Ponyville and his friends as his hoard is so gooooood.
5584665 This story makes me sad and angry. I don't know how I should feel, but thank you.
I want them all to die a horrible and long and painful death.
5587817 The next chapter is gonna be really pony-centric, it's gonna deal with the mane 6 dealing with the elements being gone the new cake foals will be explained and what Spikes plans are for the future.
I'm gonna get to the Crystal Empire in a later part of the story, as of right now it's simply "occupied" I have a shit load to cover and Im trying to get it all out as fast as possible.
5587714 The problem with getting them out for a long time was indeed editing but as of about a month ago I got a new editor and things are now in a much better place. Thank you very much for the offer though.
5587825
I just want Shining Armor to get his own badass moment, even if in flashback. Dude is related to the most powerful unicorn on the planet. I want to known what he's capable of when pissed and trying to protect his wife and baby sister.
Bah, either way, keep up the great work.