• Member Since 16th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Tuesday

MedicHorse


Medic, shooting enthusiast, and huge nerd

E
Source

It's Summer vacation for the school aged of Ponyville, and the children of the Mane Six are looking forward to it.

Inspired by kilala97's awesome artwork. Check it out! Click pic source link.

Chapters (17)
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Comments ( 239 )

This looks like the start of a wonderful fan fic. I'm just curious as to where Celestia, Luna, Shining, and Cadence are in all of this? I know Discord can live forever so I'm not worried about him.

>> EquestrianRiders

This is a good start, but I noticed an error,

"You know I can't no to a Sugarcube Corner party"

I think it's supposed be,

"You know I can't 'say' no to a Sugarcube Corner party"

But still, I think it's really good, I'll keep my eyes open for the next chapter. javascript:smilie(':pinkiesmile:');

3692182 Fixed! Please keep it up! I tend not to notice missing words...

this is the best story ive read yet on this site. keep up the good work!:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss::twilightsmile:

3692312 You have no idea how awesome that makes me feel.

>>EquestrianRiders

I noticed one more thing,

"Prism, staying true to his word, hand actually combed his mane."

'hand' should be 'and', just a heads up.

3692335 It was actually supposed to be had, but fixed!

>> EquestrianRiders

Right, sorry, I'm new to this site and I'm still learning how it works

3695737 What do you mean? Don't feel the need to hold back. If you don't like it, I would love to hear why.

When I read through the first few chapters I was worried because it didn't look like you were going to keep to the pairings that Kilala set up. Then I read this chapter all all my worries were dashed away. Great Job!

Ok 2 questions. Is Anthra blind? and who is Anthra's dad? I know her mom is Fluttershy.

3699203 Yes, she is. She was adopted by Fluttershy during one of their earlier tours that stopped at an orphanage. On kilala's page, she actually wrote a fic called "Helpless" covering her origin.

This story is really getting good! Can't wait for the next chapter! (':pinkiehappy:')

SOMEONE IS USING THESE CHILDREN IN FANFICTION AAAAAH~

3700399 I can't tell if that's a positive or negative reaction.

Hey hey hey :pinkiehappy: Sorry I haven't commented on this yet! It's amazing so far :D I espescially love these last two chapters. So romantic :heart: You're capturing these characters perfectly and I really, really, REALLY love how you portrayed Illusion. Well done!

Awww, cute. :rainbowkiss: These kids are gonna get in a boatload of antics, though - aren't they? :rainbowlaugh:

Old acquaintance? ...judging from Kilala's pictures, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Claire has a secret boyfriend, and his name is Prince Illusion. :rainbowlaugh:

KNEW IT! :rainbowlaugh: Oh, God, I already love Illusion to no end. :rainbowkiss: And his relationship with Claire is freakin' adorable~

Well, no wonder this story has so little love! It isn't in any groups! Hold up - I got this~

There may be some shipping later, but not what you expect.
Oh, so no Anthea x Golden delices then?:rainbowderp:

“Well, excuse me for loving the hay out of my son,”
Apple Jack from begining to end!:ajsmug:

It will end up with that they all met at the café! I think Golden Delices x Anthea should be a shipping in the story, but I don't think it will be!:applejackunsure:

Well now well now. Interspecies relations? Color me exceptionally interested.

I was gonna try to reply to each idividually, but holy cow! Thanks for all the support!

I have diabeetus now. :raritydespair:
Also, looks like T is the perfect gentledrake. :raritywink: Wonder who taught him that~

3692304 nice, I'll survive the shipping, Cruz I trust you won't tho ship crazy like a few others

Hmm, lemme guess, bolt and candy

3695742 good luck, and don't go ship crazy

Yes I noyiced. I like them, but for a totally different reason. I just like the word 'quaint' :pinkiehappy:

Nice story, not a masterwork, but really nice. Just a problem. A BIG problem.

You rely too much on a "previous knowledge" the readers could have of the pics and the characters backstory.

For example, here you never said who Illusion is, given a description, or why he put the clown shoes on Claire. Or why he has fluffity on his chest. You should at least say who his father is, just that would allow to make more sense of him.

Ok, sorry but here I draw the line. This,was not even a chapter of a story, but a simple impersonal description of some... events! There is no point of view, dialogues, important descriptive dialogues, are not even expressed, and so on.

I hope you'll take this as constructive critique and not sìmple "hater rambling", because I'm not.

Keep working!

3706753 Noted. I do appreciate feedback as long as there is a point to it. I am also trying to get the short, "one thing happens" chapters out of the way early. Thanks for reading!

I see someone who might get suckerpunched

Riz

3692304
So is Starburst cousin to Clair & T ?

3708200 No. I don't consider Spike and Twilight related. I see it as just a close friendship, but feel free to apply some of your own headcanon.

>> EquestrianRiders
I noticed there are a couple of lines that say, "Price" instead of "Prince",

T did indeed know him, and identified him as "Price" Illusion, son of Discord and Princess Celestia.

He she was, walking back to her temporary home with a handsome young "price" who was rather insistent on her beauty.

Fix 'em as soon as you can! pinkiesmile

Couple more for ya,

“Thank you,” he said quickly, "the" remembered to breathe.

"then"

While "there" thoughts were slightly different on the way back, they landed with an identical mental statement.

"their"

Have a Happy New Year!

Your cranking these out like its nothing man, I love it :pinkiehappy:

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