Demonic

by DJDemitri

Dear diary...

Time Unknown,

Gate classification 0022902

Section 13.32

Void Status: Inactive

"Novi Liberi" accounted for: N/A

Job Classification: Guide

Even in my own journal I continue to work, I want to keep track of how many souls I push through the gate each entree. I'm not entirely sure why I choose to do this or write down my thoughts but here I am. It has been a time since time began since I had a moment long enough to realize my own feelings of loneliness. I guess I should talk to myself as if I'm meeting a new friend, who the hell am I kidding I am new to me. Who am I? What do I do? I guess I can start somewhere simple... like my name. Name, name, name, name... what is a name... I have been called many and they seem to mean nothing. Just a label so that you can be called by your lesser and be blamed by your superiors. Out of the many names I guess my favorite would be Caleb, short, sweet, and easy to remember. That was easy enough... my occupation... that may be hard to explain to you. A guide is what I'm classified as I believe. I like to think that I am something more. Thousands and thousands of new souls come through, lost, scared. I guide them into the void, into a world built entirely of consciousness. If all that time ago I had not been such a scared little child I too could have created a new world, one where I could be a god and do with what I please. Unfortunately I was too afraid of what would happen and instead became Lucifer's helper. It isn't that bad if not a bit monotonous and boring. It is interesting to see the types of souls who come through, retaining their appearances of their previous world.

As it were told they retain any appearance they can think of but more than ninety percent of the time they just remember what they were before their deaths. Usually young looking and scared, these beings come in all shapes and sizes. The most beautiful of their kind to the worst of the lot comes through these gates. The most interesting are these humans who walk on two legs. They are very rare considering they are usually taken by a more evil force of their world, who takes them and causes the souls to lose everything it has worked for to praise that consciousness as a god. There is no purpose to it besides satisfying that beings ego, and to make matters more complicated for those souls they are taught to strive for that existence while they lie about ours! Calling us evil and giving us all sorts of terrible names. Really it doesn't matter, because there are a bunch that do get through and the ones that do sometimes tell me about their world. They have this thing called television that can peer into the lives of others for entertainment. You should see their surprise when I tell them that they are actually seeing recorded events in another dimension. Its a weird magical little loophole in this vicious cycle of creation that nobody can really explain.

This life fascinates me but really I long for something simple that makes me.... happy. I wish I could just poke my head into one of those void portals and just live there momentarily. I want to visit different worlds and see what other people dream of. Unfortunately, even if I were able to leave duty, I could never visit one of those portals without coming back. I feel like such a coward... passing up some other worldly adventure just because I'm so scared of what I'll find...

I'm going to sleep...

Time "Day 1"

Gate classification 0022902

Section 13.32

Void Status: Active

"Novi Liberi" accounted for: 1,002,122,044,118

Job Classification: Guide

Note to self: I started marking this on a day scale, there is really no time and I have no intention of marking the dreaded thing so I am just going to either mark it a day when I write in this journal or sleep. It seemed silly to just have a run on of what happens each entree without stating any significant point. /

A full days work, leading the blind by the nape of their neck so to speak. I don't need sleep but it makes me feel a whole lot better. It didn't matter today though because only a few went astray today, they held in the back behind the rest and tried to go back where they came from. It is kind of sad really how they continue to journey to a plain they have died in. I rounded them up and had to explain to them the nature of the situation and guide them back. It no longer hurts when they cry or beg. I have seen too much of it to feel bad. There was one that caught my attention though, a rather thin female from the δύο πόδια dimension, a human, who was more than just a little reluctant to follow me. I had swayed her with conversation and I did manage to bring her back here to the gate but I still can't make her go in. It is a long standing rule that I cannot force a soul into the portal, they must go on their own. It is strange having a familiar face around but it wont matter in a matter of hours. Eventually they all decide that going in is better than staying here whether by boredom or just a sense of adventure. This one is a little weird though, just sits and stares into that black pit wishing that she could just go home but doesn't go when I tell her she can recreate the world she knew, however she wanted. She just says its not the same and sits there staring. It is weird, but I cannot ponder on it too much, the break is over and a new batch of souls is coming through, which means I will have to guide a few astray again.
Perhaps watching others like her go in will giver her the motivation to go in herself, save me the trouble.

Time: "Day 3"

Gate classification 0022902

Section 13.32

Void Status: Active

"Novi Liberi" accounted for: 23,764,143,244,962,563

Job Classification: Guide

It is really strange to me. I have let so many through, counting them up, setting them right, bringing them back, so fourth. I have had minimal conversation with any of them, usually they are too afraid of me calling me Thatanos or Death. I would love to be Death, going into millions of worlds and guiding the dead of those universes here. No, instead I am just a guide, a gatekeeper, and a lonely collector. Well, I am not sure how much of a loner I am when a particular soul wont leave me alone. She continues to follow me and she insist on sleeping in my chamber. She watches me write, sift fire, pull books from my library, or sleep. Being a soul she doesn't need sleep but she insist on doing so when I work and can't pay any attention to her (she learned that day 1). I think she is just so scared of what will happen that she gravitates to something she knows. I'm the only thing that reminds her of her world by what she tells me but I haven't really gotten much response from her though. I tried to find out her name and why she seems so malnourished compared to other humans that come through. She remains quiet when I ask and hides behind her hair. After she hides there really is no point in even discussing anything because she just goes back to hiding behind my robe or looking into the void. This really is a strange creature, able to flip emotions like that. I would like to think that I can flip emotions or even have any but really it is all superficial, I have just one feeling all the time and that is emptiness. I choose that because I believe it involves longing, sadness, and apathy all in one.
Poetic maybe? Probably not, desperate more likely.

It is sad that I can keep this rather boring existence going. The only thing I find fun is the fires I tend to or the books I can pull. Perhaps I can show that little soul how to use my library. She can't read nearly any the languages that I can but I may show her how to pull books from her world. That should keep her occupied so I can go and think in peace when the souls are too few to move or my "break". Strange how they make the few wait rather than have a constant stream but who am I to argue? I would like some time to myself so I can just exist without thought. The constant questions and descriptions of her world passed just drives me crazy. Maybe it is just because it has been so long since anything has stayed with me for more than a few moments. You remember the last soul that stayed with us? That little reptilian male who absolutely refused to leave your side. He stayed for a while before I convinced him to leave, but he was defiantly happy about going after a sit down with me. I must remember what I told him to get this girl out of here.
Then I can go back to my endless existence.

Time: "Day 5"

Gate classification 0022902

Section 13.32

Void Status: Active

"Novi Liberi" accounted for: 733,734,933,982,987,523,696

Job Classification: Guide

It has been five days since I started marking the "time" and really I am not sure why I haven't burned this stupid journal. I guess it is a little part of my mind and I can't just up and get rid of it without cause. I don't know, I just sit here and reason with myself, the thoughts I don't write down are just the ones that lost, giving more meaning to history is written by the victor. Well at any rate I showed her how to use the bookcase and she has been keeping herself busy. I really shouldn't be giving her more reason to stay but it's a better solution than to have her cling to my robe all day or watch me sleep. I tried to turn her onto some of my favorites but she seems to cling to these certain parts of literature called comic books. I have never seen any for myself because I never thought that there would be picture books that you can read. It is a particularity disturbing comic called Johnny the Homicidal Maniac which a boy who can't come to grips with his own existence or sanity murders people who think differently of him. I would hardly think that such a meek girl would be into such a violent book but when I ask her response is just that it makes her feel better that there is someone like her. I never took her for a maniac serial killer, but if she is that would explain the avoidance of questions and the fear of going into the void. I'll have to ask her about it I'll be right back...

Time: "Day 6"

Gate classification 0022902

Section 13.32

Void Status: Inactive

"Novi Liberi" accounted for: 733,734,933,983,087,523,696

Job Classification: Guide

It is funny how a common interest gets people talking. I showed a little interest in her books and she started talking like a deflating balloon. The souls at my gate aren't piling up so as fast as I like so I just dispelled them to one of the other gates and called this portal inactive for a time. I have been sitting with this girl and we talked, she answered my questions for the first time. Her name is (or was anyway) Lana and she wasn't a serial killer or anything like I previously thought. Turns out she gravitates to the nature of these books because she feels like an outcast and the anti-hero she reads about is in the same shoes but he deals with it unlike her. She likes a bunch of other types of art and that television came up again. She talked about one show in particular very fondly. It was called My Little Pony I think? I have seen all types of "ponies" as those beings classifies themselves. This one in particular are the type that walk on four legs and has a coat of fur and then hair that makes a tail and... you know what I'm talking about, anyway, these ones can talk and have these magical adventures where they learn about friendship. It sounds so innocent and childish that I love it. I am surrounded by sadness and darkness all the time, so I feel like its normal to feel attracted to such a colorful and carefree world. Maybe I should tell Lana that she can live in that universe if she really wants too. She has still avoided certain questions like why she is so skinny or why she wont pass on? I guess she will tell me when she is ready but right now, I want to sleep until I open the gate again.
Hopefully she moves on soon, she is such a sweet girl that I really want her to move on, unlike me...
yea... she shouldn't end up like me.