Chapter 7: Beyond the Rabbit Hole
Chapter 7: Beyond the Rabbit Hole
The sudden appearance of a bright light and hundreds of hues of colours made Stivers jump for cover behind a nearby table.
“Surprise!” the assorted equines yelled.
Looking from behind his cover, Stivers noticed that Taylor, Gallivan, and Gruebel were all present, the latter of which looked just as concerned and surprised as himself.
“What just happened?” Gruebel shouted as Stivers noticed he was in no real danger.
“Well silly,” Pinkie said as she started cutting a nearby cake into slices. “Since you said you wouldn’t make it here on time, I brought you and that silly filly Shadow here!”
Gruebel looked to his travel companion who had passed out on the floor. “I’m almost afraid to ask this, but how?”
The large mass of ponies seemed to be mingling now, the major surprise portion done, so Stivers made his way over to the punch bowl. “If you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s better not to ask, Gruebel.” He picked up a plastic cup, started to ask how a pony was going to hold it, and quickly followed his own advice. “Grab some snacks, we’ve earned them, I think.”
Stivers looked around at the other ponies, all holding various cups, filled with various drinks. The pink pony however, had a red bottle. Beside her was Gallivan, who was getting her to pour a generous helping into a cup similar to his own.
Filling his own cup with a red liquid, he saw the label on the bottle that the pink pony was pouring. He couldn’t read the writing, but he could definitely see the universal skull and crossbones of a toxic substance.
Dropping his cup, Stivers ran to intercept Gallivan before the substance could hit his lips, but stumbled over the assorted mass of ponies. “No!” he yelled, causing everyone in the room to look at his horror stricken eyes.
As Gallivan put the cup to his lips, the viscous liquid ran into his mouth. After one swallow, he coughed, and Stivers yelled again. Most of the party had stopped at this point, all to stare at the horror struck Captain, while Golden Sword moved to check on him.
“That has quite the kick, Pinkie.” Gallivan said, exhaling a large breath of air. “What’s in that?”
“Ghost chilies!” the earth pony screamed with delight.
Ghost chilies? Stivers thought. “Are you drinking hot sauce?” he yelled.
“No silly! It’s whiskey.” She stated with glee.
“Whiskey?” Stivers deadpanned. “Whiskey? Seriously? You put hot peppers in whiskey?” he stated in disbelief.
“You don’t?” she asked, just as incredulous.
“Who in their right mind puts—” The entire party ground to a halt once more as a brilliant flash lit the room. Blinking rapidly as his vision cleared, Stivers was able to make out Twilight Sparkle’s form. “Christ, don’t you ever use the door?”
“I was in a hurry,” she snapped. The horn on her brow glowed a soft shade of lavender, and a rolled-up scroll lifted out of the saddlepack she had slung over her shoulders. “I figured you might want to see this, since it’s practically addressed to you, anyway.”
Gallivan eyed the floating message sourly. “Lemme guess. Another joy-filled note from the Glorious Leader?”
“You got it,” Twilight grated. “Looks like I’m the new mailpony now.” She glanced over at a smoke-grey mare with a blonde mane who had frozen in apparent shock at the punchbowl. “Just a joke, I’m not serious.”
Stivers followed her gaze and did a double-take at the grey mare who smiled and went on helping herself to a glass of punch. Her eyes were focussed in two separate directions, neither of which was on the glass she was filling, but she pulled off the operation without spilling a drop and headed off toward a plate overflowing with muffins. The glowing scroll interposed itself in front of him, cutting the sight short, and he reached up and plucked it out of the air. The other pilots began to drift over towards him as he unrolled it, stopping short at the salutation. “Hey, you sure this is the right letter? It’s got your name on it.”
“Go ahead,” Twilight said. “I’ve already read it. Like I said, it’s mostly for you, anyway.”
“Okay.” He cleared his throat and began to read out loud. “‘Dear Twilight. I am happy to announce that I have found what I was looking for. Or at least, something that will serve. It will involve some preparation on the part of our guests, both mentally and physically, but I will not bore you with the details right now.’
“‘I hope all is well and that our guests have learned something of the magic of friendship in my absence. Tell Captain Stivers and Captain Sword that neither of them is as much of a...’” He paused, frowning. “I have no idea what this word is.”
Twilight managed a small, quirky smile. “It’s an archaic word in Traditional Canterlot. It’s a polite way of saying ‘jerk.’”
Stivers reddened, and Golden Sword nearly choked on his punch. “Um. Okay. ‘not as much of a jerk as either of them thinks the other is, and they will need each other’s help in the time to come.’” The Marine frowned. “What the hell does that mean?”
Taylor leaned over, trying to peek at the letter. “Is that it?”
“No... ‘I am sending chariots for the humans to return to the castle. Once they and their escort arrive, all will be made as clear as possible. Until then, I remain gratefully yours, the Princess Celestia.’” Stivers paused a moment, glancing up from the parchment in his hands to Twilight Sparkle.
Gallivan snorted and took another shot of fiery liquor. “Hell,” he wheezed, handing the glass back to Pinkie Pie, “that made two things perfectly clear. Jack, and shit.”
Still eyeing Twilight, Stivers continued in a quieter tone. “‘P.S. I am aware that you may be disappointed that I have excluded you from my research. However, know that I do nothing without a reason, and the less you are involved in this matter, the better. I can only ask you trust me in this. You are, as always, my most beloved and faithful student. C.’”
Twilight snorted and stomped a rear hoof. “Right. Sure I am.”
Stivers rolled up the parchment carefully, then knelt down and tucked it back into the saddlepack on Twilight’s shoulders. “Sounds to me like you two have a history together.”
“Had, up until you showed up.” The unicorn scrubbed at her face angrily with a foreleg. “Do you know how hard I’ve worked, all my life, at being the best at what I do? And now I’m kicked to the side like I’m a novice who’s still working on basic spellcraft and research!”
It was Golden Sword who broke in abruptly. “Sometimes, when a captain has an excellent officer, he will assign that officer to a duty which will keep him or her out of the way.” The stallion’s armor gleamed as he rubbed over a small dent in the foreplates, studiously avoiding eye contact with anypony. “Especially when the duty promises to be extremely hazardous.”
“I’ve risked my life before to save Equestria,” Twilight said proudly. “More than once. I’m no coward, Captain.”
“Nobody said you were, little miss,” Gallivan broke in. His eyes were watery from the booze, but his voice was steady. “Have a little grace and accept the favor she’s doin’ you. Bein’ in a safe place when the shit hits the fan ain’t a bad idea.” His gaze was fixed on the far wall, on something that only he could see.
“A little inelegant, but accurate.” Sword glanced around, noting that more than a few curious looks were directed their way. “Perhaps we should continue this debate later. We’re attracting a bit of attention here, and you...fellows....do tend to stand out in a crowd.”
“So, does it say when to expect the chariots?” Gallivan asked.
“Well, where’s this Canterlot playsh?” Gruebel slurred. “Wow, thish shtuff ish shtrong.”
“Gruebel...” Gallivan began, “You’ve had like, half a glass of that stuff... And I know you aren’t a lightweight...”
“Well,” Twilight interrupted, “Canterlot is about thirty leagues away, so... an hour?”
“An hour?” Stivers said, face contorted in disbelief. “Do you know how long a league is?”
The unicorn blinked, nonplussed. “Um...a league?”
“No! I mean...crap.” Stivers face scrunched up even further. “Something like three miles. Even the horses where I come from can’t go even half that fast at a full gallop, and not for an hour straight!”
Twilight shook her head, a wry grin finally appearing on her face. “Come on, Captain. Even you know how to fly. The chariots will be drawn by pegasi, and they’ve made the trip before many times.”
Gruebel brightened at this. “This I have to see. You should’a seen the loops Shadow was doin’ earlier. That sucker can fly like nobody’s business.”
Gallivan coughed on his drink. “Um, I’d just as soon skip that demonstration if I’m riding in back of him with no parachute.”
“Really?” Shadow asked, a look of insult spread across his face. “What, you don’t trust me?”
“Not really. I mean, how many times have you tried to punch me?” Gallivan retorted.
“Whatever.” Shadow said dejectedly. “It won’t even be us pulling the things, so you’re safe.”
“Still not much of a relief—” Gallivan was interrupted as one of the nurses they had seen in the library earlier emerged from a crowd of ponies and walked up to Stivers. Besides the nurse’s cap on her brow, the large red cross on her otherwise white flank was a dead giveaway to her occupation.
“Excuse me....um, Captain?”
Stivers nodded. “Yes?”
“I’m Redheart sir, with Ponyville General. It’s about the other...well, whatever you are. Your friend, the one we admitted earlier today for treatment of his burns? His condition is...well, it’d be better if you came and looked yourself, sir.”
Almost in one motion, each of the humans put down whatever drink or plate they had been holding. “Take us there,” Taylor said in a clipped voice.
Golden Sword stood up immediately and motioned to his guards. “You’re not going alone.”
Stivers shot the captain a warning look. “I don’t care if you have orders from God, you’d better stay out of my way, buddy.”
“I have no intention of stopping you, nor would I try.” Sword met the human’s gaze, and for once there was absolutely no scorn in his voice. “I’d need to verify his condition in any case, and if things are going badly, well...” He shrugged. “A soldier is a soldier. We’re not barbarians, Captain, whatever you think of us.”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As the peculiar group of companions set out with Nurse Redheart towards the hospital, Stivers spied the mint-green unicorn they had seen earlier in the day watching them from a nearby hay bale.
“Who is that unicorn that keeps following us?” Stivers asked, nonchalantly pointing a thumb in her direction.
“That’s Lyra.” Midnight answered. “She is the local human... fanatic...”
“Wait,” Stivers stopped, halting the progression. “If you all knew about us as doombringers... why is she smiling?”
“Well, we didn’t know about you, to be honest. She...” Midnight faltered, looking for the right words to describe the human-crazed mare. “She was always different... and you being here has proven her right in one thing...”
“Well that’s just great...” Stivers said with a roll of his eyes. “Let’s just ignore her then.”
“That’s rather rude, Captain.” Midnight said, a frown on her face, as the company continued towards the large alabaster medical building, now visible in the distance.
After another minute of quietly walking, Star broke the silence. “So..” he ventured hesitantly. Gruebel, Midnight, and Taylor all looked at him with interest. “How about that weather?”
Gruebel and Taylor face-palmed, while Midnight just sighed. “Really man?” Stivers said, overhearing his question. “It was the terrible weather that brought us here.”
“Oh yah...” Star’s ears drooped. “I guess that was just really bad timing...”
“You think?” Stivers said, one eyebrow cocked. “Whatever, we’re almost there.”
The remainder of the walk continued in silence as they reached the hospital doors. The entrance was surprisingly oversized for ponies, and the pilots barely had to duck their heads when entering. The lobby was equally spacious, and Stivers stretched self-consciously, glad of the change. After Golden Sword held the door open for the small flock, their attending nurse trotted up to the receptionist desk.
“We’re here for... him,” Redheart whispered.
The duty nurse behind the desk nodded sagely, turning to the attending humans. “Please come with me. Captain, leave your men here.”
Stivers looked to Golden Sword, who shrugged. “Um, Nurse? There’s two of us.” Stivers said sheepishly. “Perhaps you could specify?”
The nurse stopped, eyes wide in shock. “Oh, my apologies, sir. I meant for Captain Sword to leave his men. It isn’t good to crowd patients.”
Sword scowled at having to go alone with the humans, but didn't voice a complaint as Redheart took up the duty nurse’s station. Without bothering to introduce herself, the other nurse simply said, “This way,” and led them off to the wing on the right side of the lobby.
“Well Cap, how do you think he’s doing?” Gruebel asked, pointedly avoiding asking the nurse herself.
“Well, Gruebel, we’ll see when we get there won’t we?” Stivers replied, face locked forward.
As they walked down the pristine white corridors of the hospital, Stivers noticed Gallivan shivering out of the corner of his eye. Moving closer to the marine, Stivers gave Gallivan a concerned gaze. “You okay, Sergeant?” he whispered.
“Yah.” Gallivan replied, far too quickly. “Fine. Let’s just hurry up. I hate hospitals.”
“So Nurse...” Stivers grasped for a name.
“Tenderheart,” she offered.
“That’s...fitting.” Taylor muttered, and received an elbow from Gruebel. He shot the private a glare, but the young Marine seemed suddenly interested in the lighting fixtures overhead. “All right, Nurse Tenderheart, how far are we going?”
The nurse stopped, and turned to face the entourage she had built. “Right here.” she stated simply, opening the door.
The room they entered was just as sterile as the rest, but there was a large bay window dominating one of the walls, with a bed positioned so the occupant could look out across the rolling countryside.
Stivers moved to the bed, astonishment gracing his face. He hadn’t expected Thompson to be anywhere near a level of consciousness where he would be looking out a window. Turning to face the occupant of the bed, Stivers immediately jumped back, letting out a startled cry as he found an aged pony, instead of his flight mate.
Rushing to see what was the matter, Taylor and the other Marines moved to inspect the area. “What is it, sir?” Gallivan asked.
Looking at the shocked expressions of the humans who had failed to notice the second bed in the corner, the nurse moved to alleviate the fears of the pilots. “Sirs, this stallion could really use his rest—” She stopped as she observed the pony in the bed. His head was far more blue then his yellow coat should allow, with a long piece of medical tubing wrapped around his neck. “Celestia help us...” she whispered.
Golden Sword, who had followed the nurse, started scanning the room for the murderer. “In the corner,” he stated. “Everypony stay back.” He turned to regard a dark blob behind the second bed. The pilots all crowded behind the defensive guardspony, ready to watch his back. “Come out of the shadows, you coward!” Sword commanded.
Reluctantly, the shadow moved out from its hiding spot, revealing a very confused looking human in a hospital gown much too small for his frame. “Guys?” he asked tentatively.
“Thompson?” the remnants of Flight 19 responded in unison, shock evident in every set of eyes. The crewman had been burned almost beyond recognition the last time they had seen him. Now, except for a few reddened places on his face and neck, he was almost pristine.
Captain Sword dropped his guard slightly, but not enough to be considered helpless by any means. “Who did this?” he asked. “Did you see anything?”
“Cap, where are we, and what is this?” Thompson asked, visibly shaking with fear.
“It’s okay Marine.” Stivers soothed, “We’ll answer your questions in a minute, just tell us, what happened here.”
“He was threatening me Cap. I didn’t know what to do.” Thompson said, his eyes welling with tears. “I woke up here, and there was a talking horse! Who threatened me, Cap! Please tell me we died.” he finished solemnly.
“No son. We’re not dead. Just...somewhere else,” Stivers said. “Now tell us, did you kill this... pony?” he asked.
“Yes,sir. He was threatening me, sir, I didn’t know what else to do.” Stivers could see the resolve of his fellow Marine breaking, second by second.
“You are under arrest for the murder of...” Captain Sword frowned as he realized he didn’t know the name. He glanced quickly at the clipboard fastened to the foot of the other hospital bed. “How do you pronounce that, Nurse?” his befuddlement clear on his face.
“Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden—”
“You are not arresting him, Captain. Not for defending himself,” Stivers said, backing towards Thompson. Taylor, Gallivan, and Gruebel all quickly followed suit.
“-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic—” the nurse continued, heedless of the fact that no one was listening to her.
“Midnight!” Sword called out, never removing his gaze from the humans before him. “He will be tried in a court of law for his actions.” He growled as he stooped to a more aggressive stance.
“-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine—” the nurse droned on, oblivious.
Midnight burst through the doors, followed by the three other Canterlot guards. “What is it Capta—” She paused as she noticed the hostile posture everyone had adopted, as well as the fifth human. “Captain?” she asked, worry creeping into her voice.
“The fifth human killed somepony, and the others refuse to let us bring him to justice.” he monotonically stated to his subordinate.
“-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch—”
“Close order corral. Now,” Midnight snapped. Instantly the other guard ponies spread out behind her, blocking the exit and forming an arc around the humans.
Thinking quickly, Stivers asked the only question he could think of that would buy more time. “Is the Princess the leader of your judicial branch?”
Sword only looked at the other Captain with apprehension for a moment. “Yes...” he responded slowly.
“We are going to her today. We can settle this matter with her then.” He glared at Sword, daring the Captain to challenge himself.
“von Hautkopft... of Ulm.” The nurse finished. “That is his—” she stopped as she noticed the other guards in the room. “Captain Sword.” She berated. “What did I tell you about having too many ponies in this room?” Her scorn was almost palpable.
“I am a Captain of—” Sword started to shout, before the nurse put a hoof to his face.
“I don’t care if you are Princess Celestia herself.” she said, her voice cold enough to freeze water. “While you are in my hospital, you will follow my rules.” she hissed, staring the Captain right in the eyes.
“Uhh... Right. We were just leaving for Canterlot anyway,” the now confused guard said, trying to save face. “Come on,” The Captain said to his team and the humans. “The chariot will be here any minute.”
“Now if you will excuse me, you have created quite a bit of work for me in here.” The mare stated angrily, removing the coil from around the limp pony’s throat.
As Stivers turned to follow the Captain, quietly amazed that his stalling tactic had actually worked, a sharp intake of breath made him flinch.
“Celestia be praised!” the nurse yelled. “He’s alive! Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden—”
Stivers looked in the direction of the opposing Captain. “Well, I guess he didn’t kill him then, did he?”
Sword deadpanned. “I guess he didn’t, no.”
Thompson’s voice rose up, quavering, from behind everyone. “Can I please trade this kiddy apron in for some pants? I’m freezing over here.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After twenty minutes of finding Thompson’s pants, and explaining the situation they were currently in, the chariot finally arrived. It was a massive version of the standard ceremonial chariot the Princesses normally utilized, created for large groups, although the designers had never dreamed of the particular grouping of passengers about to embark on it now. Boarding the flimsy wooden craft, Thompson offered his opinion on why it was a bad idea to board an aircraft with no wings, powered by ponies who had the wings instead and who also had a grudge against humans, and who, incidentally, could easily drop them from the sky.
Taylor, for his part, just laughed at the notion of the ponies ever doing something like that, noting as how he had witnessed one cry over a wounded bear; in response, Midnight smacked him with a hoof.
“Ouch,” he muttered, rubbing his leg. “You wouldn’t drop me, would you, Midnight?”
“Like a rock,” she shot back. “Unless you behave yourself.” She gave him a level stare. “You are going to behave yourself on this trip, aren’t you?”
“Yes ma’am.” he replied warily.
“Good boy,” she responded with a sweet smile. “I think there’s hope for you yet.”
Glancing over at the sparring Lieutenants, Stivers noticed the smiles on their faces. “What are you two smirking at?” he asked candidly.
“Nothing Stivers.” Taylor responded instantly.
“You know, Taylor, I do outrank you.” Stivers stated.
“Only on the ground, Cap’n Bossman.” Taylor pointed out, with a cheeky grin.
Stivers rolled his eyes at the Lieutenant. “We are still on the ground, so get in that flying contraption now.”
Sighing, Taylor complied, while Midnight chuckled. “My, he has you well trained, doesn’t he?”
Taylor shot her a surprisingly wounded look. “He knows what he’s doing. I just...” His voice dropped low, barely audible. “I’m feeling a bit useless. We’re both technically the same rank, but I haven’t had much to say about what we’re doing lately.”
Midnight blinked, the confusion evident in her expression. “Wait. He’s a Captain, and you’re a Lieutenant, correct?”
“Yeah, but different branches, Midnight. I’m navy, remember?”
“Oh yes, I’d forgotten about that. I didn’t know it was so different where you come from.” She looked over the chariot for a moment with a practiced eye, doing her own version of a preflight check. “So he’s from the ground troops then, am I right?”
“A naval variant, but yeah, it’s pretty much the same thing.” Taylor glanced at the chariot uneasily, the wooden frame giving out a squeak as he settled his weight into the main compartment. “They’re called Marines. Usually assault troops, but Stivers and many others learned how to fly in order to help their troops out when we’re unavailable.”
“Learning how to fly is never a bad thing,” Midnight said, her own wings giving a little flicker before settling back. “And it’s good to learn new things.” She craned her head down, peering close at one of the chariot’s wheel hubs. “Maybe you could learn a few things from him.”
“Thanks,” Taylor said in a flat tone. “I didn’t feel inadequate enough before.”
“That’s not what I meant.” Midnight looked up at him. “He learned skills you already had...maybe you could do the same.” She shrugged. “For example, I’ve already learned that your people can fly without your own wings, that you have horrible taste in dining on occasion, and that in general, you’re not as bad as some of the old legends might have us think.”
Taylor leaned back against the side of the vehicle, and then straightened up again when it groaned alarmingly. “Uh... thanks, I guess.”
“You’re welcome, you big sod.” She clipped him playfully with a forehoof, not quite as heavily as before. “Now stop moping about and get ready—”
The Captains both turned to their respective lieutenants, anger showing on both their faces. “Shut up and sit down!” they shouted in unison, causing Taylor and Midnight to shrink back, then rush into their positions in the chariot.
Thompson looked over the side of the chariot as the six stallions who were to be their pilots started to accelerate. “Cap, This don’t seem safe to me.” he looked to Stivers pleadingly, almost asking to be let out.
“Doesn’t matter if it’s safe or not Thompson. They...” Stivers let himself trail off, looking off into the distance. “They hold all the cards.” he whispered, frowning.
As the chariot started to leave the ground, all five pilots started to get fidgety. Not only were they in an aircraft they weren’t in charge of, but if they looked closely, they could see through the floorboards. After discovering this, Gruebel advised everyone to not look down.
As the chariot got higher into the air, and started moving faster, the pilots all noticed something; there was no windblast. Deciding to test the theory, Taylor licked a finger and raised it into the air.
“Midnight,” the pilot asked, “where’s the wind?”
“Hmm?” the sub-lieutenant said absently, eyes fixed on the ground below. “Oh, pegasus magic.”
“I thought only unicorns could do magic...” Taylor mumbled.
“Very sharp,” she said approvingly. “See, you’re learning already. The unicorns are the only ones who can actively do magic. Everypony has their own bit of magic though. Among other things, pegasi can eliminate wind resistance, at least at moderate speeds like this,” she responded.
“That makes no sense, Midnight.” Taylor objected, shaking his head and moving to look over the side banister.
“Careful Taylor!” Thompson yelled. “This thing ain’t got a seat belt!”
“So he just won’t fall out then.” Gallivan stated. “How did you get fixed up so fast anyway Thompson?” he asked.
“Get fixed up? What happened to me?” Thompson asked, incredulous.
“Listen, mac,” Taylor looked back, intrigued by the conversation. “You should be fucking dead! You were literally covered from head to toe in third degree burns. And that was yesterday!” Taylor was waving his hands wildly, much to Gallivan’s dismay, to emphasize his point.
“Shit.” Thompson said, face blank of emotion. He looked towards the ponies who acted as their escorts. “So... I should be dead, and we were transported to a magical land of talking ponies?”
“Not this again...” Midnight mumbled.
“Yes, you were all transported here, now can we please all shut up and enjoy the ride?” Crimson Hoof asked with a grimace.
And shut up they did. Stivers shuffled to the side of their carriage, looking over the rails. Time seemed to fly at speeds faster than Stivers imagined possible as he watched the rolling plains and the squares of farmland roll by.
Looking over to Taylor, he shared a knowing glance. “Reminds me of home.” Taylor observed to Stivers before looking over the edge again. “I miss it there already...”
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The chariot touched down with a gentle bump in an open courtyard, high castle walls looming on three sides with a granite rock face dominating the fourth. A small contingent of Royal Guard stood off to one side, apparently awaiting their arrival. As the mixed species group left the confines of the chariot, their escorts immediately stopped and stood at attention.
“Sir,” Captain Sword said. “Delta Wing reporting as ordered.”
A pony clad in purple armour with a golden trim stepped forward. “Good. The Princess is expecting you and your guests,” he stated with venom. “Let’s go.”
“Yes Sir.” Sword said, moving his head as an indicator for the humans to follow.
Stivers, moved into marching position next to Sword, leaning over to him conspiratorially. “Who is this guy?” he whispered.
Leaning towards the quizzical human, Sword whispered back to him, keeping his voice low enough to not be heard. “That’s Field Marshal Shining Armour, Captain of the Royal Guard of Canterlot.”
“That’s a mouthful,” Stivers stated noncommittally.
“Quiet back there. I would expect this from a human, but not from one of my men, Captain.” General Armour stated, disdain flooding his voice.
As the rag-tag group made their way towards wherever the princess was waiting for them, Stivers took in the imagery around him. The conical towers of the castle were placed in almost random patterns, and were several stories higher than should have been structurally safe. The gardens in almost every area of the courtyard were immaculately tended to, fielding a wide assortment of various pastel flowers. And most importantly, on every blank space of castle wall, was an obvious symbol of heraldry, promoting the two Princesses, circling around the sun and moon.
I wonder what it means... Stivers thought to himself as they were led inside a wide coridor.
The inside walls were decorated with all sorts of paintings, ranging from landscapes to portraits, and where there was nothing actively covering the walls, there was a statue, or a flowerpot. The winding hallways all looked alike to the Marine Captain, but eventually the company came to a halt outside a very large set of wooden doors.
The doors themselves were more beautifully crafted than some of the artwork. One door, was painted in very bright yellows, and somber oranges, depicting scenes of a white alicorn through, what Stivers assumed to be, history. The other door was painted in somber blues and cool greens. This door however, differentiated from the other in the fact the midnight blue alicorn turned black, the door was void of more history.
Moving up to the finely carved doors, General Armour placed a hoof on the door, took a deep breath, and knocked authoritatively three times. The door opened to reveal a scrawny pont wearing a severe black butler’s suit. Upon seeing the Captain of the Guard, he turned and announced that they had arrived.
The inside of the large room was incredibly spacious and was probably only held up by the 8 massive pillars that lined a long red carpet that led directly to two thrones. The ambient light in the room was coloured in a rainbow hue due to the massive stained glass windows that lined the walls, depicting yet more historic events. The whole thing reminded Stivers of the churches back home.
The center of the room was dominated by a twin set of thrones, one gold, one silver. In each sat one of the royal alicorn sisters. Celestia, who looked pensive, motioned for the newly arrived group to come forward.
The guards, who were well versed in the royal protocol, moved forward and bowed, keeping their chins on the ground. The humans however, who had never known royalty outside of the British Monarchy, attempted to mimic what the ponies did, failing epicly as they more or less pussyfooted their way to the thrones, trying not to look like idiots. As Stivers approached the dais, he dropped to a knee and brought forward his center of mass, as he had read the Knights Templar did a long time ago.
Looking to his left, Taylor was just lowering his head in what Stivers hoped was respect, and Thompson was just standing there, eyes wide, looking like a deer caught in some headlights. To his right, Gallivan and Gruebel were doing much the same as Taylor.
“Rise, my little ponies,” Celestia said calmly. “And you as well my little—” Luna burst out laughing.
“Seriously Tia, Look at them! You totally owe me 20 bits.” Luna said between chuckles, receiving an angry glare from her sister.
“Luna.” Celestia said. “We already talked about this.”
“And you said they would all be stone cold and not do anything.” Luna retorted. “And then they go and do this?” she said, starting to laugh again as she waved a hoof lazily towards the humans.
Rolling her eyes, Celestia continued. “Rise, humans. We have found out how to get you on your way home.” she said.
“Permission to speak, your highness.” Captain Sword said, looking up to his beloved Princess.
“All are free to speak in this chamber, Golden Sword.” Celestia said.
“The new human almost killed a hospitalized pony.” Sword said, “His name was Johann von something or other. I didn’t quite catch it all.”
Celestia’s look of benevolence faded the instant Golden Sword finished his first sentence. “He did what?”
A/N
GoldenArbiter:
First off, sorry about the delay, As I said in Ty’s blog, I had some shit come up.
Secondly, I think I may have accidently changed styles half way through the chapter... I personally prefer it the way I started writing near the end, but I want to know what you guys think.
So, it has come to my attention that Ty is relinquishing all power of the story to me, and is stepping into a more backgroundy editory role. At least that’s what he said two days ago. Yesterday he said he was taking up his position as Co-author again, under me. All in all, the management process is just a giant clusterfuck at the moment, so...
At least I got the chapter out only one week late :)
Ty500600: As GA so colorfully said... I am back as co-author of Flight 19. I hope to be spending a lot of time with his crew, getting these chapters out on time. But as you all know, life sometimes gets in the way of things, and now that I am working again, it will be harder for me to help out, but I am doing my best and I hope that the staff of Flight 19 can also give their best to get you guys your weekly pony fix. Thanks, Ty500600.
GoldenArbiter: Okay then. Straight from the horse’s mouth. And just when I was starting to get hopeful too...
As always, let me know if there's anything you don't like with the chapter, so I can improve in later ones.
~GoldenArbiter
A/N the second:
For those of you who are wondering, the full name of the hospital pony is:
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
his parents were jerks.
~GoldenArbiter
Stats
Page generated in 0.041 seconds
Total duration
707 users online
972,848 hits today, 2,571,732 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I'm just gonna steal first here...
Don't forget to point out all of the things you enjoyed/didn't enjoy!
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dangle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker -thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser -kürstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -eine -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mit -zweimache -luber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker -kalbsfleisch -mittler -raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm. Huh. And people seem to think my name's long.
I'll steal Third!
Nope They We're Trolls dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Lyra.png
586218 Now try saying it in any formal setting...
I fucking love Monty Python.
'Dat name...
My hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia is acting up!
Jusssssssssssssst kidding. And Midnight seems like a pretty cool perso- pony... phew, almost made that mistake AGAIN.
Haha, There goes the happy news. This will be fun.
Thompson should have killed the longed named pony.He would be doing him a favor!
ah, his parents really were jerks, calling him things like good evening or veal dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?!
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?!?!
I wonder what would happen if he met his human counterpart. They'd be there for days on just the introductions.
Someone like Monty Python.
586310 The amount of 'von's in there really make it hard to keep track of, eh?
Run thompson! Run for your lives.
586325 Well... We've all seen what happens when you talk to an elderly man by the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm.
They are usually so set in their ways that they have to say their entire name every single time, just because of the formality.
Oh shit... 30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1zg82TOKD1rpgkrro1_400.jpg
586325 Imagine a family convention... Dat banner "Welcome Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm?!
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft"
Suddenly Hitler walks in a starts yelling nein nein nein nein!
586638 Nah, you're thinking of mister Hilter. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
586673
Equestria is where Hitler went!
That's why no one found him and why Celestia has a fear of humans.
a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/417168_342042932514875_100001275120449_981397_716797655_n.jpg
Dat name...
I did some traslation work over on google of the patients name and this is what it gave me:
Johann de Gambolputty of Ausfern of Hautkopft of Ulm.
Completely shot out the entire middle part
Not quite as bad as Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeundsorgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerscheinenwanderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwischensternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurassevonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortplanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurchtvorangreifenvonandererintelligentgeschopfsvonhinzwischensternartigraum, Senior.
Yes. That entire thing is his name. For sanity's sake he was known as Wolfe+585 Sr.
587717 Translation: Who before ages were conscientious shepherds whose sheep were well tended and diligently protected against attackers who by their rapacity were enemies who 12,000 years ago appeared from the stars to the humans by spaceships with light as an origin of power, started a long voyage within starlike space in search for the star which has habitable planets orbiting and whither the new race of reasonable humanity could thrive and enjoy lifelong happiness and tranquility without fear of attack from other intelligent creatures from within starlike space
Lol Wikipedia.
587910 And he was Senior which means he had a kid...
SELF DEFENSE! Awesome chapter Guys, I hope to see more soon.
Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm
Apparently Johann of Ulm himself, like his parents, was also quite a jerk... according to Thompson anyway.
That, or he was just introducing himself, and all the scary German stuff made poor Thompson panic
I guess my name is shorter than I thought
DAT name. i dont even.... lol this was a hilarious chapter i always look forward to update from this story
588463 I aim to please.
588506 Ur doin' it right then
well I at least hope this is coming together well for you, because if it wasn't that would totally suck
588543 I don't understand the question...
More, good sir.
Great chapter my friends.
I laugh heartily at the pony with the German name.
I wonder if he has any siblings?...
589060 basically, good luck and keep up the good work.
guten abend to you too :)
Inb4 Celestia gets all unreasonable and shit.
590631 Oh, Okay then.
590770 Why thank you
589918 Erm, only about half of it was German. A lot of it was English, and I think there was some Dutch and some French in there too...
...... DAT NAME......
well that was interesting. I'm not sure what to think right now. Keep up the great work.
Try typing Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dangle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kürstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-eine-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mit-zweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm into Google Translate and clicking the "Listen" button.
I was wondering at his name too, until I read that he is from Ulm...
Then I stopped wondering.
I shit you not, Bass Pro Shop sells hot sauce whiskey.
I was like "yay I´m going to finish
" but when i read I was like "seriously it just cuts the story there? Ugh.
You really need to make an epilogue.
Eh, I felt the name humor really cheapened the seriousness of the situation. I couldn't tell whether I was supposed to be outraged or laughing. Meh
That name might just be the most fluently removed cow I have ever seen.
The Captains both turned to their respective lieutenants, anger showing on both their faces. “Shut up and sit down!” they shouted in unison, causing Taylor and Midnight to shrink back, then rush into their positions in the chariot.
This is one of the reasons why I love the Captains. They have such a great dynamic together.