Follow Raekwon (pronounced ray + kwon) as he journeys to equestria and lives the life that he's been waiting for. Will everything go as planed? Will he find his love there?,Will life in equestria be as he pictured it? Many other questions shall be answered and some may not.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Try using a word processor to catch all them misspelling and grammar mistakes.
Nothing to say so far. Needs a few more chapters before I can put my opinion on it.
Pretty good first try. I like where the story's going but there are a few mistakes:
Capitalization- Pay more attention to the words that need to be capitalized, not just the ones at the beginning of the sentence. For example, and I'm gonna let out my inner grammar Nazi here so bare with me, every time you said "i" not capitalized in the middle of the sentence I cringed a bit. "I" should always be capitalized, no matter what.
Repetition- You used the same word or phrase often. Take advantage of pronouns. For example:
"I close my door and had to the car, when I got to the car my mom was already backed out of the driveway and ready to pull out." sounds better as "I close my door and head to the car, and when I got there mom was already backed out of the driveway and ready to pull out." Using a variety of words helps the story sound better.
Punctuation and Spelling- I'm not the best at these either, but careful rereading can help to correct these. You can also use programs to help with spelling and grammar mistakes also. (Fun Fact: I misspelled about 15 or so words up to this point
) Another thing is that if something in quotation marks doesn't end in an ellipse(triple dot thingy), question mark, or exclamation point, than there should be a comma. (Example: "Nice story so far man," Red Glare said.) If the person who is speaking is saying something followed by quotation marks, then there should be a comma before the start of the quote. (Example: Red Glare said, "Nice story so far man.")
In conclusion, keep in mind the following:
1) Always capitalize "I". Always.
2) Pronouns are our friends!
3) Reading over parts can help to correct spelling.
4) Remember quotation rules
Other than that, keep up the good work. I like where the story's going and I'm interested in seeing more of it. I'm not trying to be mean but we learn from our mistakes. It's how we get better at...well...anything! So now I say with the up most truth *clears throat* MMMMMOOOOAAAARRRR!!!!
seems like it has the potential to be pretty cool xD
323560thanks man I'm gonna have to check out some programs to help me with my spelling and grammar and all that other crap
323560do you know any programs that I could use?
324504
Microsoft word. lmao.
324600well my Microsoft word isn't working so I guess I'm shit out of luck
Lol. You could also have people proof read for you.
324644who would be willing to proof read for me?
Why do I feel like you're asking something.
I'm just asking who. I didn't mean for it to seem like I was asking you.
Vast improvement from the first chapter man. Very VERY dark btw. The stuff nightmares are made of. Still Interesting none the less. Keep up the good work.
332434thanks man and yes it is dark but thats my mind
can't wait for the next update
Update. Now. Do it.