Harvest Peach is a mindreader. Aside from that, things aren't going so well for him. He just found out that he's been assigned to a job he doesn't want in the old hometown that he ran away from. His new partner is a lycan. Plus, there's been an unusual string of murders.
But hey, there's nothing like going home, right?
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Eh, I may read later.
Relevant
3667376 I had a little bit of this in mind, yes.
Kinetic Information Retrieval for Dummies?
3667726 No, this is a government publication. The title couldn't be that simple.
Just being your normal handsome self, I suppose.
And that's why he's not a super-villain - presentation!
Or you could learn how to broadcast. Telepathic conversation has got to be pretty hard to overhear.
3667796 Presentation
Got to remember that one.
Rolled a 20 on that Bluff check for nothing, huh? I know the feeling.
Um, nothing in the story so far has suggested any reason why pegasi wouldn't have psychic powers. I mean, if an earth pony can mind read, why not a pegasus with TK?
"Stake through the heart, check. Beheading, check. Dismemberment, in progress, followed by separate incineration and scattering of ashes on holy ground."
At least then her grandfoals will have hearty appetites, right?
3667730 The "Extended Visual Idiot's Succinct Compendium Encompassing Recon Acquisition Third Edition" is a must have for any spy agency! A companion book to "Mister Mouth-Shut And You: A Guide to Talking Truths with Your Prisoner"!
Just finished this. Your style is very consistent and efficient, as always.
I'm not sure how I feel about Harv. He was cool, but I didn't really get a feel for his character. Song was very good; I liked her a lot and I got the feeling that there's a lot there under the surface.
Overall, I came away with a very neutral opinion. The first chapter had a hard time holding my attention, but the rest really did a fine job of keeping things interesting and moving.
3668370 Yeah, I feel you. I've always had trouble pinning down Harv as a character. I like to think that it's because he tries to blend in and be incognito, but really, it's just trouble to keep him from breaking the story with his omniscience, so maybe I dialed him back too far.
3667811 It's a quote from Megamind.
3668370 even tho she's a protagonist i didn't feel as if she contributed anything to the story other than muscle. Like she had almost no memorable character traits
3668588 Yeah, maybe if the story was long enough to have her go through the wolf change. That would have been interesting. Don't worry; I've got something like that planned for another story.
3668588
I can certainly understand that viewpoint. There were a few sentences here and there that really made her shine, in my opinion. There was one where she told Harv to be grateful he still has a mom that made me wonder what had happened to her parents. The fact that she just shrugs off being shot makes me want to know how she got to this point.
I won't begrudge you your opinion. I just think she was a bit of a hidden gem.
3668620 How she got to this point? Oh God, do I have backstory for this. Jeeze, now I feel like maybe this story had the wrong narrator.
3668620 i see what you mean
3668613 there are also some unanswered questions such as: why he wanted them dead and who set up the loop as well as feathers and as songs past they be covered as well
3668803 The question of why he wanted them dead was answered. He didn't want them to interfere and decided to strike preemptively.
Who set up the loop? Good question, although it could have been Settee himself.
White Feather was meant to shake things up. She kills, it's what she does. When somepony pays her, though, she doesn't kill them. But she will stab them in the back by pointing the Shades to them. White Feather is basically a bitch.
Forest Song was intended to be the voice of wisdom to help Harv along. Forest is experienced. That way, Harv didn't have to fight through all this himself and maybe realized that coming home, having a home, isn't so bad after all.
Read a lot like some thing else you wrote. The action and pacing are fast, and character development thinly veiled and good. You write differently when not on cocaine.
and then his mom was the ex-director of the shades
Sequel? Cameo in the Sequel? Another universe?
3669157 There won't be any direct sequels, but at least two other stories set in the same universe.
This is an awesome world you're building here, I can't wait for more of The Shades.
3669161 Thanks! Like I said, at least two other stories.
3668627 I want to find out what went on in her head when he called his mom back after they visited the gang leader.
Very nice work. It's almost unbelieveable how many universes you maintain in all your stories.
The only complaint I have is that there was no premise for the plot, the reader is straight thrust into the story with little to no introduction. But then again, that might as well be the intention of yours.
Oh, and I also had trouble with getting over the fact that this story is basically just a ponification of a "regular" story, with humans and all. Like, there is nothing that makes it suitable for MLP universe. I mean, ponies driving trucks, "tapping their hooves on the steering wheel"? How does that even work? Or how does a shoulder holster look like on a pony, and how is it possible to draw a gun, let alone fire it - while running, with hooves? And since when do ponies have a TV?
Yes, I get that this story takes place years after the main six deaths, and might as well be intersecting with "A Dream" universe (with Valiant re-inventing guns, cars, and television), and that ponies do a lot of crazy things with their bare hooves in the show alone, but this...is a little over the top for my liking.
But anyway, I eventually came to like this story, overall. The plot was good, as I like reading crime/detective stories (although I cannot name a single one I've read in the past now, pony or non-pony related), and the ending at last explained how the hell could Harv's mother know where he is at all times (her call through Bob's phone in his own office was unexpected and absolutely brilliant).
*Grins and applauds* Bravo as always. Your stuff never fails to appeal.
This was magnificent. It really was. Does it have a sequel? If not, make one. It is needed. I want to read more about this future Equestrian world full of guns and superponies.
EDIT:
3669158
I think there should be something of a direct sequel. I grew to like Harv and Forest in the time I read this story, and more of their exploits would likely be just as sweet.
I can honestly say that I enjoyed reading this fic, however, it gives me the feeling that it is rather bare bones and didn't receive the amount of attention it deserved. The plot and characters all felt like they had a lot of potential and yet this fic seems to only mention the plot points within it in passing.
4157440 I've got another story from the same universe coming out in a few days. The title is Loony. Harv will be a secondary character. I can guarantee that it will be better than this.
Tech shift is really disorienting. Is this the same universe Vamp Cheerliee is in? Refering to those future stories.