A conversation on a hill.

It was a nice autumn morning, the leaves were deep shades of red and orange, and most still hung on the trees. Scootaloo walked along a familiar path she had traveled many times throughout her lifetime. This path lead to a hill that she visits every third weekend. Rainbow Dash waited for her as she lay in the grass patiently for Scootaloo to arrive, like she always has for the past several years.

Scootaloo trotted along the path through the woods. She came to a turn along the path that lead to large and impressive iron gates. The gates always sat open to allow the ground bound visitors entry to the large hill covered in flowers and stones the gates and fencing protect when the public are turned away for ceremonies that are commonly held at the small house at the picturesque hill top.

She smiled warmly at all the fall weather flowers that were in bloom. She soon came to a stop and looking down to where Rainbow Dash always waited for her. Scootaloo quietly laid down on the cold stone with her.

“It sure is a nice day today. I made it like this just the way you taught me,” she grinned to the whispers of approval carried along in the wind. “And I’m doing great with the Weather Patrol,” Scootaloo continued, “They say I’m the best captain they’ve ever had, but we both know that that’s not anywhere near the truth.” She chuckled, “Besides, I’ve never done a sonic rainboom...” she trailed off.

“But we both know that’s really not important,” said Scootaloo with delighted a sigh, “Oh... it looks like you’ve been taking care of the alfalfa I planted,” she noted leaning over and biting the purple flowery head of the plant’s stock and chewed slowly. Scootaloo let out another quiet sigh as she watched the clouds she placed in the sky slowly drift with the calm breeze of the fall evening.

“It is such a nice day,” said the orange pegasus mare. “I know today is actually a Wednesday, but today is special,” she giggled to nopony in particular, “Yeah, you thought I forgot, didn’t you?” she suppressed a tear before it could leave the corner of her eye.

There was a slight change in the wind for a moment making Scootaloo’s mane toss about. “You know I’ll never forget that day. It is still the happiest day of my life—the day I was finally allowed to move in with you.” Said Scootaloo, “Today is the forty-eighth anniversary of when you adopted me,” She paused as she looked over the rows of flowers that dotted the hillside. “Boy, that was an awful long time ago.”

There was a gleam in her eye as she remembered something, “I almost forgot to mention something—that new recruit I’ve been telling you about, Firefly, she’s definitely going to take my place as captain when I retire.” She chuckled. “Who’da guessed it? Fluttershy’s granddaughter of all ponies, taking my place as the next captain of the Wonderbolts.” She let out another happy sigh watching the clouds as they slowly change from milky white to a soft orange to match the leaves on all the trees.

“Hmm... Such a nice day... Good thing I took today off to visit you.” She watched as the clouds slowly shifted from cotton candy pink to the ice blue of the night sky as the sun finally finished setting in the distance. “Well... You know the deal... the sun has set, and the stars are out. That means it's time for me to head home.”

Scootaloo carefully rolled onto her side to get her hooves under her body as she stood up. She took a calm deep breath as she looked around at all the other grave stones of anonymous ponies, then looked down on the large elegantly carved stone marker, that rests atop the final resting place of her hero, mentor, adoptive mother and sister, and not the least of which one of her best friends in the whole wide world, Rainbow Dash. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” She smiled at the stone one last time before trotting along the path that brought her here back to town.

When she made it out of the woods onto the main road and looked up in the sky, her eyes gleamed and her jaw dropped. For she saw a comet like no other. A comet she only saw once before, on the night of Rainbow’s funeral, for this comet had a great luminous tail that shone like no other, it let out a beautiful rainbow for miles in its wake as it moved across the sky. Scootaloo took to the sky on her powerful wings as she watched in awe as the rainbow comet slowly faded from sight past the horizon.

She slowly ascended to her cloud house as she flew over Ponyville. After the short flight in the cool refreshing air, she came to a stop, landing in her cloud house’s landing. She took a moment to look down and across the town she is very proud to call her home before she turned to the large golden door, gripping the handle in her teeth and opening it. She stepped inside, closed the door, took three whole steps before she was bowled over by a flying tortoise held aloft by the gyrocopter strapped to his shell.

“Hi Tank. Its good to see you to,” said Scootaloo as she gave Tank a big hug before rolling back onto her hooves, trotting to the kitchen and taking a bowl of crisp lettuce and carrots out of the fridge, taking it with her to bed where that faithful tortoise sat, expectantly on that blanket with Rainbow’s oversized cutie mark in it respectful place.

Scootaloo hopped up onto her bed next to Tank. “Here ya go. Now don’t give me that, I know it’s your favorite so just eat up.” Said Scootaloo as she grabbed a lettuce leaf and munched on it. Tank followed suit and stuck his head in the bowl and began to eat.

When the bowl was empty, Scootaloo got up, trotted over and sat in on the kitchen counter to be washed in the morning. She quickly trotted back to the bed, grabbing the blanket with a hoof and sliding it aside to give her room to lay down before pulling the blanket over her body. “Good night, Tank.” She called to the tortoise as he settled into his bed. “Good Night, Rainbow Dash.” She said to her plush replica of her idol she still sleeps with to this day. She gave her hind legs a kick in the air, tucking the blanket under them as she dozed off to sleep.

The End.

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Comments ( 17 )

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Manes

Manes #1 · Dec 20th, 2013 · · ·

I love it!

dj-pon3fan

dj-pon3fan #2 · Dec 20th, 2013 · · ·

So touching. This is fantastic.

Elric of Melnipony

Elric of Melnipony #3 · Dec 20th, 2013 · · ·

Scootaloo trotted along the path through the woods until she came to a turn along the path that lead to large and impressive iron gates that always sat open to allow the ground bound visitors entry to the large hill covered in flowers and stones the gates and fencing protect when the public are turned away for ceremonies that are commonly held at the small house at the picturesque hill top.

Ow, run-on sentence. There's at least three sentences in there.

Soon coming to a stop and looking down to where Rainbow Dash always waited for her.

And there we have a sentence fragment instead.

I know today is actually a wednesday, but to day is special

You forgot to capitalize "Wednesday", and I don't understand why you split "today" into two words.

“boy that was an awful long time ago.”

Needs to start with a capital letter, and needs a comma offsetting "boy" from the rest of the sentence.

That means its time for me to head home.

You're using the contraction for "it is" here: "it is time for me", so you want to use "it's".

a great luminous tail that shown like no other

The word you want is "shone", a variation of the word "shine".

Its good to see you to.

Again, this needs to be "it's", and I suggest you brush up on avoiding to/too/two errors.

Good night Tank.

"Good night, Tank." Any time someone is addressed directly in dialogue, there needs to be a comma between their name and the rest of the sentence.

It's a nice story, but it needs some polishing.

Fonypan

Fonypan #4 · Dec 20th, 2013 · · ·

3657016 Not sure what to do with the run on sentence, but I spit shined the rest of the fic.

Reeve

Reeve #5 · Dec 20th, 2013 · 2 · ·

I can't say sleeping with a stuffed replica of your surrogate sister is healthy, but it was a great story none the less

Buckin Bronco

Buckin Bronco #6 · Dec 25th, 2013 · · ·

such a great story

I had a sneaking suspicion by the second paragraph it was gonna be a story like this. its hard for me to understand how short stories like this leave soo many feels for me

Tank still being around is interesting. not many would think of how a tortoise would far outlive its owner

her sleeping with a plush of here 'sister'/adoptive mother is kinda weird. maybe if it said it was something she had since she was a filly before being adopted being it would sound less creepy

keep up the good work

The Watcher 509

The Watcher 509 #7 · Mar 29th, 2014 · · ·

Well, that was certainly a surprisingly unsurprising development, in a good way, of course. I found the very future of this universe we all make videos and stories of, shall be of the inevitable end of the Element bearers and the beginning of new ones. Time goes on, if not in a blink, a life can decimate down to ashes and dirt.

The world goes on, we cannot stop it to keep on turning. To keep on moving. If someone very special to our own selves dies, we view the world to slow down the moment you have seen them lay unconscious and unlike that of a dropped mannequin, just so that we can feel the very importance they have on the world. But in reality, the world just spins normally, for you are not remembering them for their importance to the world.

You are remembering them for their importance and effect on your life.

Servant Phoenix

Servant Phoenix #8 · May 12th, 2014 · 1 · ·

I should have paid more attention to the "Feels" tag. I didn't expect Dashie to be dead.

Grammar Nazi time!

.” Said Scootaloo

This happens multiple time. Replace period with comma and make "Said" lower-case

When the bowl was empty Scootaloo got up

This is an adverbial dependent clause. The rule for adverbial dependent clauses is that if they are before the independent clause, then a comma should be added. (Add a comma after "empty")
For more information on dependent clause comma usage, please read the lecture in the School for New Writers group: http://www.fimfiction.net/group/916/school-for-new-writers/thread/30670/lecture-dependent-clauses-or-why-your-commas-are-mostly-wrong

Comment posted by Tillion deleted Jun 20th, 2014

Fonypan