• Published 24th Dec 2013
  • 8,383 Views, 65 Comments

You Lose Some, You Winsome - Arwhale



Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo decide to go on another weekend camping trip to Winsome Falls. But on their first night in the tent, Scootaloo accidentally wakes Rainbow Dash in the middle of the night with an embarassing secret: she's wet the bed.

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Worth It

You Lose Some, You Winsome

by Arwhale

Rainbow Dash thought better when she was on the move. The open sky with its crisp, high-altitude air was a place for contemplation, self-reflection, and meditation. On days when she wasn’t rehearsing some new stunt, she sometimes spent hours in this realm, letting her mind drift to faraway places where even her strong wings couldn’t carry her.

The clouds, on the other hoof, were a great place to take a nap.

Rainbow Dash lay curled up on top of a fluffy cumulus, her snout partially buried in the crook of space between her crossed forelegs. Snores rumbled from deep down in her throat, and each breath tousled the messy bangs which hung over her eyes. Up here, she was free to sleep as long as she pleased, safe from observation by anypony passing below.

Or, at least, she would have been safe, had it not been for her tail dangling off the edge of the cloud.

“Rainbow Dash!”

The enthusiastic voice was muffled by the puffy barrier, but the sound managed to reach the recesses of her unconscious brain. Her eyelids fluttered for a moment before they closed once again.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Somepony called again from the grassy field, far below her makeshift mattress. This time, Rainbow Dash heard it loud and clear, and her eyes snapped open. She awoke with a low groan.

“H…Hold on,” she drawled. Her mouth gaped open in a yawn. “Just gimme a sec…”

Wobbling slightly from the unstable cloud footing, she pushed herself up on all fours and stretched out her legs, joints making light popping noises as she extended her forelegs out in front of her head. When she was done, she plopped back down onto the cloud and dangled her upper body over the side, looking down at the ground.

From her preferred mode of transportation, Scootaloo was staring right back up at her with a goofy smile on her face. Rainbow Dash sighed.

“Oh hey, Scoot.” She did a little eye roll, but was unable to keep from grinning. “You do know that we’re not leaving for another couple of hours, right?”

Rainbow Dash watched as Scootaloo stepped off her scooter, undoing the chinstrap of her helmet and setting it down at her side. She smiled sheepishly. “Heh, yeah… Sorry for waking you up. I was coming back from school, and I just saw your tail sticking out from way up there and I thought I’d just, you know…” She trailed off, blushing.

Hearing this, Rainbow Dash sulked. She turned her head around to give a death stare at the offending appendage, which even now was hanging over the side. She shook her head; she had to stop being so lazy about being lazy.

“Well, you did wake me up from my nap, so…” Rainbow Dash jumped off, spreading her wings and gliding back down to meet the filly on the grass. As the distance between them closed, she could’ve sworn that Scootaloo was trying not to laugh, biting her bottom lip and turning her face away to hide a smile.

“Heh, yeah. Figures…” There was a hint of sarcasm in her tone, and the corner of her lips twitched upward into a smirk. Rainbow Dash picked up on it right away, narrowing her eyes playfully.

“Oh, don’t you go make fun of me taking naps, now,” she said, swooping over to give Scootaloo a noogie. “Equestria’s fastest flyer’s gotta get her shuteye.”

“Oh, I know, I know.” Scootaloo flinched, squeezing her eyes shut as Rainbow Dash’s hoof dug into her scalp. “But you do seem to get an awful lot of it sometimes…”

“Hey, when you’re the one getting up at five o’clock in the morning to do weather duty, you tell me that you wouldn’t start taking naps, too.” Rainbow took her hoof away and landed on the ground in front of her. Scootaloo giggled, quickly donning her helmet to protect her scalp.

“Yeah… I guess five’s a little earlier than seven o’clock when I get up for school.” She hopped back onto her scooter with a mischievous smile. “And sorry about waking you up… You said we’d meet over at Applejack’s to go grab a tent before we head out, right?” She quickly changed the subject. Rainbow Dash affirmed her with a nod.

“Uh huh. And once we get that taken care of, our 'sister' campout weekend at Winsome Falls will officially be a go. Sound good to you?” She flapped her wings, lifting off the ground. Scootaloo nodded rapidly, showing her teeth in a bright smile.

“Oh yeah! C-can’t wait!” Her wings buzzed with excitement, making it clear to Rainbow Dash that she meant it. She pressed her hindleg into the dirt and gave herself a kickstart, rearing up on her back wheels and spinning the scooter around. “See you later!”

“See ya, Squirt! I’ll be there to pick you up at four!” Rainbow Dash waved her goodbye and drifted back, watching Scootaloo accelerate over the park grass and zoom off back toward the road.

Once she was out of sight, Rainbow Dash flew back up to her napping cloud and flopped down on top of it. She glanced over at the sun, watching as it inched closer to the western horizon.

Come to think of it, it really was kind of close to when she said they’d leave. And now that she had already stretched herself out, she felt a lot more awake than before...

Oh, what the hay.

“Hey, Scoot!” She leapt off the cloud, spreading her wings and taking flight once more. “Wait up!”

It didn't take them very long to get ready. They'd gotten all the bug spray and canteens they'd needed, and since Sweet Apple Acres had been on the way to the Falls, they'd been able to borrow the tent and hit the trail in less than two hour's time.

Scootaloo may have been fast on her scooter, but Rainbow Dash still had to fly at a rather easy pace to make sure she wouldn’t leave her surrogate sister in the dust. Considering that she was still a tad bit on the groggy side, though, Rainbow didn't mind all that much.

"Hey!" Scootaloo called up to Rainbow, who was scanning and surveying the scene well in front of them from her vantage point in the sky. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary, Rainbow cruised back down low.

"What's up, Scoots?" She flew alongside her. Scootaloo crouched down on the scooter, absorbing all of the bumps in the path. She pointed to a fallen log lying diagonally across the path up ahead.

"You see that?" she asked excitedly. Rainbow Dash looked where she had indicated.

"I think... you mean that l--"

"Watch this," Scootaloo cut her off, pressing her helmet more firmly on top of her head, narrowing her eyes and sticking her tongue out with concentration. These were signals Rainbow Dash had come to know quite well; Scootaloo was gearing up to perform a wicked stunt. Putting a little distance between them to prevent herself from interfering with whatever Scootaloo was about to do, Rainbow Dash watched Scoots charge straight toward the log.

Even though she was a daredevil herself, Rainbow bit her top lip and held her breath as Scootaloo suddenly changed directions and dug her left-side wheels into the path, kicking up a swath of dirt and dust as she drifted towards the log. Thinking something had just gone wrong, Rainbow Dash nearly darted forward to grab Scootaloo before she crashed, but at the last moment, Scootaloo hoisted herself up in the air in a bunny hop, jumping in such a way that the center of her scooter was perpendicular with the length of the log.

Rainbow Dash's mouth opened in astonishment as Scootaloo landed on top of the impromptu wooden rail, grinding all the way down the fallen tree trunk with seemingly little effort. But it was the ending that sealed the whole thing: when she reached the end of the log, Scootaloo jerked up on the handlebars, briefly taking to the air once more before landing back on the path, but not before the platform of her scooter did a full three-sixty degree spin underneath her.

Rainbow Dash reared her head back, and her eyes widened both with awe and relief. Scootaloo looked back over at her, and seeing what was sure to be the gobsmacked expression plastered on her face, the girl's tiny wings buzzed even faster with elation.

But suddenly, Rainbow Dash's face changed completely. Her lips curled down into a pained grimace, and she reached forward with one hoof to point in front of Scoot.

"Look out!" she cried. Scootaloo whipped her head back around, but by that time, the warning was too late to heed.

She ran straight into an outstretched tree branch, only having enough time to turn her face away as she rammed into it and toppled off of her scooter. She fell hard on her back, and her helmeted head landed with a thud on the dirt. The scooter kept rolling, however, until it clattered into a tree on the side of the path a few meters away. Rainbow Dash gasped, zipping over.

"Ohmigosh! Are you okay, Scoot?" She wasted no time, landing beside the fallen filly, who was now lying on her side and clutching her head. "Can you hear me? Are you okay?"

Scootaloo didn't answer for a moment, but eventually she rolled over onto her back, one foreleg still clutching her throbbing skull. She nodded weakly.

"Yeah... urgh, just gimme a minute... phew," she exhaled through pursed lips. "I'm fine... wind got knocked out of me for a sec, but I think I'm fine..."

But Rainbow Dash wasn't just going to take her word for it. Sliding her foreleg under the girl's neck, she gently lifted her head up from the ground and stuck her other hoof in front of Scootaloo's face.

"Follow my hoof with your eyes, okay? Don't move your head." She panned her hoof from side to side. Knowing the drill, Scootaloo did what she was told and kept her head still while her eyes followed the cyan hoof. She succeeded without a hitch.

Relieved that there were no signs of a concussion, Rainbow Dash helped her up from the ground. As soon as she was back on her own four hooves, the little filly loosened the chinstrap from her helmet and took it off her head to inspect it. To her chagrin, there was a wide dent across the styrofoam, and little bits of it had flaked off from the force of the collision.

"Dang it. Gonna need a new one again." Scootaloo shook her head. Rainbow Dash saw the big ding on the helmet and frowned.

"Looks like it. It's a good thing you were wearing it, huh?" Rainbow Dash poked the fractured styrofoam, and particles of it stuck to her hoof. She blew them off, letting them fall like snowflakes onto the path. "You sure you're alright?"

Scootaloo blew a raspberry. "Pffft. Yeah, I'm fine. Trust me, I've taken way worse hits than that," she boasted. Rainbow would have reached out to give Scoot another affectionate noogie, but she thought better of it at the last second. Instead, she wrapped a wing around Scoot's back and pulled her into her side.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure you have." She chuckled, nudging Scootaloo toward the scooter which was lying on its side a few steps off the path. "Now, if you're gonna still ride that thing up to the Falls, you gotta promise not to do any more tricks on it and be extra careful. That helmet won't protect you as well next time if something happens again. Okay?"

Hearing the words "extra careful," Scootaloo shot Rainbow Dash a disappointed look over her shoulder. But the elder pegasus did not back down. She crossed her forelegs over her chest.

"Okay?" she repeated. After a short pause, Scootaloo sighed in reply, picking up the scooter and hopping back on. She set the partially ruined helmet on top of her head, blowing away some of the loose fragments of styrofoam that fell onto her face.

"Oookaay..." she agreed reluctantly. Rainbow Dash gave a single nod of approval and took to the air, and the two of them continued down the trail.

...

This time around, Rainbow Dash helped Scootaloo gather the firewood. Being only April, the nights in Whitetail Woods were still quite chilly, and the glowing fire in between them was a welcome addition to their campsite.

Seated on a tree stump, Rainbow leaned forward and rubbed her hooves together, warming them over the flames. Scootaloo sat across from her on a big stone with a canteen in her hoof, guzzling down water like a pony straight out of the desert. Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow.

"Jeez, Scoot. Save some for the fish." She laughed. Scootaloo removed the opening from her mouth, letting some water dribble out onto her chin. She set the canteen down on her stone seat and stuck the lid back on.

"Heh, my bad... I guess riding my scooter all that time made me pretty thirsty." She yawned. "And tired..."

"Well, in that case, we should probably hit the hay soon. It's getting kinda late," Rainbow suggested. "We're gonna get up bright and early tomorrow so we can get to the Falls at a decent time."

Scootaloo uncapped the canteen and took another swig before setting it back down on the rock. She shrugged.

"Okay... No scary stories to keep me up this time, right?" She grinned at Rainbow Dash through the wisps of smoke. The other pegasus smiled right back.

"Nope. You got that right." She got up from the stump and put out the fire with a wooden bucket filled with water, eliciting a loud hiss as much of it turned to steam. To make sure the fire was fully extinguished, she kicked some nearby dirt onto the remaining embers to smother them, thus leaving the campsite in the dark. Rainbow flew over to the tent which they'd pitched only a few meters away.

"Just come in whenever you feel like it, 'kay?" She flipped up the tent flap, crawling inside.

For a minute, Scootaloo looked all around her, aiming her eyes up at the clear night sky and scanning over the smattering of stars that were suddenly revealed at the expense of the firelight. It was truly a stunning sight to behold, surrounded by nature and having no other roof but a canopy of stars hanging overhead, with the moon's pale glow seeping in through the foliage and the flowering blossoms of the trees...

She heard a twig snap. That was all it took to break her out of her peaceful revelry. She found herself walking over to the tent at a brisk pace, not daring to look out into the woods where she'd heard the sound.

"R-Right behind you!"

...

Normally, Rainbow was a heavy enough sleeper that she could stay unconscious through all kinds of disturbances. So it came as somewhat of a surprise when, in the middle of the night, she found herself staring up at the ceiling of the tent with eyes wide open.

An owl hooted overhead. Rainbow Dash's ears twitched at the sound, tracing it to one of the trees at the edge of the campsite. But if there was one thing she knew, it was that no lousy owl would have woken her up at this hour...

That was when she heard somepony moving right beside her in the tent. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, she rolled her head over on the pillow, keeping the rest of her body motionless.

The way the sleeping bag was moving was somewhat akin to the squirming of a caterpillar trying to escape from its cocoon. She heard a short, shallow breath, which almost sounded to her like a gentle sob. Then, the shuffling suddenly stopped, and she saw Scootaloo's head poke out of the bag with her forehooves clasped around the edges, gripping the synthetic fabric surface so tight that Rainbow could see the wrinkles in the darkness. As her eyes traveled up to the filly's face, she could see Scoot's facial features frozen in horror, staring down at her sleeping bag as though a snake were slithering over it.

After a long period of silence, Rainbow finally spoke.

"Um... Scoot? You okay?"

At the sound of Rainbow's voice, Scootaloo gasped, snapping her head to the right to gaze at Rainbow Dash. Even in the darkness, the glistening of the filly's eyes was unmistakable.

"Oh! Uhh, uh, hi, Rainbow Dash..." Her voice started off loud but drifted back down to a whisper. "S-Sorry, I-I'm fine..."

Her frightened stammering told Rainbow Dash otherwise. She could see Scootaloo shivering and the shiny synthetic fabric of her sleeping bag vibrating as she spoke. Rainbow rolled over and laid on her side, propping her head up on one hoof.

"You don't look like it," she said. "What's the matter? You havin' trouble falling asleep?"

Scootaloo shrank back into the opposite side of the tent. She brought the covers up to her face, leaving only her eyes visible. "Y-yeah. I...I, uh..."

"Is the ground comfortable over there? The ground's flat where I'm at, and if you got a lump or something, we can switch places," she calmly suggested. But to her confusion, Scootaloo shook her head rapidly at the idea, pupils dilating with fear.

"No!" she nearly yelled. Seeming to realize how loud she'd been, she melted deeper into the ground and looked apologetically at Rainbow Dash. "I mean… I'm sorry, I-I mean... you shouldn't come over here."

"Why not?" Rainbow Dash cocked her head. "You're starting to freak me out, Scoot..."

This statement only made things worse. A few tears leaked out of Scootaloo's eyes, and even though she turned her face away to hide them, Rainbow Dash saw. Seeing Scootaloo begin to cry, Rainbow Dash shuffled a little closer, craning her neck forward to take a better look, but this only seemed to panic Scoot even more. She uncovered her face and brought her hoof up, holding it out in a gesture for Rainbow Dash to stop.

"No, don't come over here, please! I'm sorry for waking you up, I didn't mean... I-I'm sorry, I didn't think it would happen t--"

She cut herself off mid-sentence. But, unfortunately, enough had already escaped.

"Didn't think what would happen?"

Scootaloo closed her eyes, forcing more tears out of the corners. She wiped her cheeks on the sleeping bag and took in a deep breath through her nose, staying silent for quite a while. Rainbow tried again.

"Hey, Squirt, it's okay. If anything's wrong, you can tell me. I'm here for ya, you know that? Please, Scoot," she said, "I know something's wrong. Just... just talk to me."

Scootaloo looked up at her, peeling her gaze away from the floor of the tent. Her eyes shimmered as she made eye contact with her idol.

"You p-promise not to tell anypony?" she asked. Rainbow Dash nodded without hesitation.

"I promise." She traced an X over her chest and covered her eye. "Stick a cupcake in my eye."

Scootaloo shut her eyes tight. She bit her quivering bottom lip and took a sequence of deep breaths to calm herself down before at last, she spoke.

"I... I wet the bed."

No sooner had the words left her mouth that she began to cry all over again. She said between sobs, "I woke up and... and my sleeping bag was all... I didn't think it would - hic! - happen tonight, b-but..."

The embarrassment was too much for her to take anymore. She broke down, her tears creating another wet spot on the fabric of her sleeping bag.

The filly's revelation floored Rainbow Dash. She opened her mouth, preparing to say something, but it fell back shut. Momentarily, she was at a loss for words.

"I-I'm sorry! I shouldn'tve drank all that water! I'm sorry for ruining the campout, Rainbow Dash." Scootaloo continued to cry into her forelegs with misery. "I'm sorry I ruined everything..."

For several speechless seconds, Rainbow Dash was totally quiet as Scootaloo's humiliated sobs filled the tent. A fluttering feeling built up in her chest, as if her heart were floating in empty space. She blinked back tears.

Then, she spoke.

"Hey... hey, Squirt?"

The meekness of her tone of voice came as such a surprise to Scootaloo that it almost halted her cries altogether. The little filly lifted her head.

"Y-yeah?" she dared to speak. Rainbow Dash gazed straight back at her with bleary eyes.

"It feels... dirty, doesn't it?" The words shook from a tremor in her voice. "Like you want nothing more in the world than to wake up one day and, for once, just know for sure you'll be dry. But no matter how much you want it, it just seems like it'll never happen."

There was a moment of silence. Scootaloo gave her nothing but a blank stare, but gradually, her sobs began to die down, and new tears ceased to flow from her eyes. Rainbow Dash continued.

"And it always feels even worse in the winter. You suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, feeling all cold, when you realize that you're cold because you're wet all over, and that the PJ's you're wearing are stuck to your skin." She paused to take a deep breath. "And then you have to decide whether or not you should wake up your parents and tell them, or if you should just try to fall back asleep and wait for them to find out in the morning."

As Rainbow Dash went on, Scootaloo's eyes began to widen again. But this time, it was not from embarrassment or fear. It was from understanding. Rainbow Dash sat up and leaned forward until their noses were almost touching.

"But the worst part is when you say you're sorry. Because you know that while you mean it from the bottom of your heart, you're gonna wake up again some other night and go through the same thing all over again." Rainbow Dash placed her hoof under Scootaloo's chin, raising her head so that they were looking straight at each other. Scootaloo's warm breaths tickled her snout.

"I know, Squirt." Rainbow wiped the drying tears from Scootaloo's cheek. "I know."

The girl's jaw lay slack as she stared up at her. More water welled up in her eyes, but it was not from shame. Rainbow Dash withdrew her hoof from Scoot's chin and crawled over to the saddlebag at the base of her sleeping bag. She pulled out a small towel from it and tossed it over her shoulder.

"We got plenty of water with us, and I got this towel with me." She unzipped the front of the tent, letting in some of the cool air from outside. "We should probably get you cleaned up a little."

Scootaloo remained frozen in place. Rainbow Dash smiled warmly and gestured with her hoof for Scootaloo to follow her, but she shook her head.

"No, I-I don't want you to have to... you know..." She blushed furiously. But being stubborn as she was, Rainbow Dash was not about to back down.

"No no no, it's fine, I promise. C'mon, Squirt." Her back half was now sticking out of the tent. "I'm used to this. Believe me, it's okay," she assured. "Don't worry, I'll take care of it. It's okay..."

Despite Rainbow's best efforts to convince her, Scootaloo was still hesitant. But slowly, finally, her body began to worm its way out of her sleeping bag until she was sitting completely outside of it. The faint odor of urine emanated from her orange coat.

"O-okay. I'm... I'm coming..." With her ears practically taped back and her tail tucked firmly between her legs, she followed Rainbow Dash outside.

...

At most, the whole process had taken a few minutes. Using one of the canteens, Rainbow Dash wetted the towel and wiped Scootaloo off, starting from the front of her body and working her way down, from wings to tail tip. Scootaloo had been virtually silent the whole time, letting Rainbow Dash do what she needed to do until she was done. The older pegasus set the wet towel down onto a nearby boulder, and poured a little bit of the water from the canteen onto her hooves to wash them off.

A cool breeze washed over Scootaloo's damp coat, causing her to shiver from the chill. Rainbow Dash placed her wing over the filly's body to shield her from the cold.

"That should do it for now," she said. "We'll be able to do a better job getting you cleaned up when we get to Winsome Falls tomorrow. Feel better?" she asked. Scootaloo nodded once, but her head still scraped the ground.

"Uh huh. I guess..." she shivered a little more. "I'm really sorry about everything. It's just that... it's been a long time since the last time this happened and I thought... I thought that maybe I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I'm really s--"

Rainbow Dash stopped her by placing a gentle hoof over her lips. Scootaloo gazed up at her with reddened eyes.

"You don't have to be sorry, Squirt. About anything. And lemme tell you something," she said, stepping around until she was face to face again with the little pegasus. "Right now, it might seem like you're gonna have to deal with this stuff forever. But one day, Scoot... you're not going to have to anymore. It might not be after tonight, and it might not even be after the next time. But I promise, Squirt," she said with an affectionate nuzzle to Scootaloo's cheek, "that that day is gonna come when you won't have to worry anymore. Okay?"

The words had a few seconds to sink in. For the first time since the beginning of her nightmarish ordeal, the filly's lips stretched from one ear to the other until she was smiling up at the older pegasus. She nodded her head with understanding.

"Okay. Th-thanks, Rainbow Dash..."

Without warning, she lunged forward and buried her face into Rainbow Dash, wrapping her little forelegs around her chest in a tight hug. "Thanks for everything..."

Rainbow Dash was taken aback for a moment, but she recovered quickly. She petted Scoot's head with her wingtip.

"Don't mention it." She rested the side of her face on Scootaloo's shoulder. "And I won't tell anypony about this. I promise."

With her wing still wrapped around Scootaloo's back, Rainbow led her back to the tent, opening the flap and sticking her head inside. But Scootaloo dug her hooves into the ground, and she poked Rainbow on the shoulder.

"Uhh... Rainbow Dash? Where am I supposed to sleep now that... you know..." she trailed off, pointing to the soiled sleeping bag on the tent's right side with a nudge of her head. Rainbow grinned and pointed over to her own bag.

"You can share with me tonight. Mine's pretty big, so I think you'll fit just fine," she said. She opened it up and took her wing off of Scootaloo's back, lying down inside and leaving enough room for Scootaloo to climb in as well. "C'mon."

Scootaloo, however, stood at the entrance of the tent, not budging. She grimaced, taking one step back.

"I dunno... I don't think I should since I'm still all... are you sure?"

Rainbow shrugged. "Of course, Squirt! It's not like I'm gonna make you sleep outside or something. C'mon." She patted the empty place beside her. "It's fine. I don't mind."

At last, all semblance of resistance vanished from Scootaloo's countenance. Eyeing the empty spot, she slinked over and laid down. Immediately, Rainbow Dash placed her foreleg around Scootaloo's belly, just above her wings, and closed the sleeping bag around them so that only Scootaloo's head was sticking out.

"You comfortable?"

"Uh-huh..."

Rainbow hugged her a little tighter. "Good. Sleep tight, Squirt. We'll still be up bright and early tomorrow, okay?"

Scootaloo yawned. "Okay... Hey, Rainbow Dash?"

Rainbow set her head back on the pillow. "Yeah?"

"Thanks..."

Within minutes, Scootaloo was fast asleep.

...

Inside the tent, Rainbow Dash was still awake.

It had been an hour or so since they'd gone back to bed. She'd slept on and off for intervals lasting only a few minutes apiece, but she couldn't keep her eyes shut as thoughts of the next day kept getting in the way. She'd have to hang up Scoot's sleeping bag to dry it out, wash the tent so she wouldn't return it to Applejack soiled, make sure they left at a decent time...

But as her thoughts drifted the warm body pressed up against her, she couldn't help but smile. Sure, she'd have a big mess to clean up. Sure, she wouldn't exactly find it pleasant. And sure, it would probably make things tomorrow a little complicated.

But for Scoot's sake, it was all worth it.

Author's Note:

Maybe not my best work, but I don't think it's bad, either. Thought maybe it was a little rushed in places, written kind of clunky in others, and sometimes repetitively described. But I'll let you guys be the judges of that. :) Chances are I'll come back and edit this later anyway, so... yeah.

Hope you guys liked it! I wanted to try my hand at a Scootalove oneshot for the holiday season, since everyone seems to be doing that now... and I hope this story was unique enough to make it interesting. And hopefully, not too gross...

Thanks for reading! And also remember that constructive criticism is always welcome!

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Comments ( 65 )

Aww. We all know the feeling, Scoot, we all know the feeling. :twilightsmile:

I'm sorry but this has too much D'aww for me:heart:

3673328

too much D'aww

There is no such thing! BLASPHEMY! :pinkiegasp:

Glad you liked it!

Been looking forward to your Scootalove project :heart: I must read this during my Christmas break :pinkiehappy:

3673305

:fluttershyouch:

As for the story... D'awwwws much? :heart:

3673389

Please do, bruh! I'm pretty sure you'll like it! :pinkiehappy:

"And it always feels worse in the winter. You suddenly wake up in the middle of the night, feeling all cold, when you realize that you're cold because you're wet all over, and that the PJ's you're wearing are stuck to your skin." She paused to take a deep breath. "And then you have to decide whether or not you should wake up your parents and tell them, or if you should just try to fall back asleep and wait for them to find out in the morning."

DUDE. You captured all the shame I've EVER felt from being a bedwetter. All of it. Every last drop of shame. Goodness this was a great story, thanks for writing about this, you made a former bed wetter feel A LOT better about his issues.

:scootangel:

THE D'AWW IT'S IT'S-

*dies from heart attack*

3673478

A lot of that came from my own experience, actually(as you can probably tell). Glad to know I was able to convey that shameful feeling into words!

And thanks a lot for the watch, man!

3673551 You're quite welcome, this is the last place i'd expected to meet someone who had a similar issue. I'm glad too though.

nice story scoot and dash together is always good no matter the situation :scootangel::rainbowkiss:

Hmm. A pretty likable story. It was very short and sweet. It had a lot of typos and grammar mistakes that you might want to fix with another editing pass, but the story as is was nice.

I didn't wet the bed after I was, I dunno, maybe four, so I can't really relate to the problem. I've helped treat kids with the problem so I'm not completely unfamiliar on the topic from the biological side, but the psychological side was a nice read. A lot more common for girls I hear.

I somehow can't help but feel that this story was a stub, though. It could have used a lot more time to work the characters. The first almost half of the story doesn't really lead to anything and it messes the pacing up somewhat. Then we have Scootaloo doing a trick and even breaking her helmet, but it doesn't lead to anything. Details like that in a short story are usually only mentioned if they lead to something, because if they don't, they only serve to confuse the reader. Chekhov's Gun must be a familiar trope, right? That's why it was so obvious what would happen when Scoots guzzled down that canteen of hers. The fact that the word canteen was mentioned... (quick count) six times in the story already made it clearly a narrative object and not just a descriptive element. That's why when I read about a broken helmet, I immediately started thinking how it will come into play later. It was a nice detail, but it wasn't necessary for the story. For example, just mentioning she had a new dent in her already battered helmet would have served the same purpose without being a Red Herring. I also always thought the helmet was metal, not styrofoam, but that's just my preconception.

Also is this one of the campsite they hung around in SiP? Because there was a stream right next to it, and a river next to the other one as well, so I found it pretty weird RD would want to postpone the thing until reaching the falls. Minor nitpicks of course, but Celestia is in the details, as they say.

There was one moment that felt pretty out of character in the fic, unfortunately. It was when Dash started describing how Scootaloo feels. Not even that as such, because it was the Reveal that she'd been a bed-wetter as well. It was the fact that RD started crying about it.

Tears were staining both of their faces. Rainbow Dash placed her hoof under Scootaloo's chin, raising her head so that they were looking straight at each other.

"I know, Squirt." She wiped the drying tears from Scootaloo's cheek. "I know."

That kinda went from being a cute moment between a filly and her role model into 'fishing for feels' territory. It almost made the moment weaker to me. She's an adult and a pretty tough one at that, so it kinda felt un-necessary. Tears are so over-used in 'feel-fics' that they kinda irk me. We already have one character showing emotions that she's crying, so the other one crying as well kinda made it cheaper to me. Without the mention of RD's tears, the scene would have played out just as well, but without the extra dramatics.

Here I go and ramble again. It was a nice fic with a touchy subject that you handled admirably and I start nitpicking away. :facehoof: I liked it, favourited it, hit that thumb-up and will probably see if you've got something else worth reading too. :twilightsmile:

EDIT: Huh. Turns out I was already following you because of another fic you wrote. (Hoof covers bruise) but I haven't read it since the first chapter because somehow I haven't been able to get into sad Scootaloo fics for a long while She's become a bit too precious for me. :twilighblush:) So, yay for not being able to follow you again?

I have never peed in( bed so I do not know what scoots is going through I have thrown up in bed a TON though:ajbemused:

Aw, what a sweet story! :twilightsmile: I got the feels no matter how gross it was - (actually, it wasn't gross, to be honest) :pinkiesmile:
As well, I didn't find any clunkiness and such anywhere in the story. It was really adorable. Nice work!! :rainbowkiss:

Man, why you gotta damn do dis to me? I'm gonna be d'awwing all night...

But that was adorable. I'd put on a Rainbow Dash kissy face but I'm not on my computer.

Poor Scootaloo. It's okay, sometimes it just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. Everyone wets the bed at some point, some more then others. We won't think any less of you for it. :pinkiesad2:

"I know, Squirt."

"No no no, It's fine, I promise. C'mon, Squirt."

You don't have to be sorry, Squirt.

Squirt... A slightly unfortunate nickname considering what just happened:facehoof:, but overall I like this story. Keep it up.:rainbowdetermined2:

This was a well handled story. Especially since Scootaloo felt a lot better at the end of the night. :scootangel:

Some great interactivity between RD and Scoots. Very playful, the way Scoots acts, knowing she interrupted a very important nap! RD's elderly-sister/motherly instincts kicking in when Scoots hurt herself was very pleasant, too. I get what you mean when you said this story would have feels, and these are just in the opening scenes.

Scootaloo uncapped the canteen and took another swig before setting it back down on the rock.

Careful, Scoots! You'll pee :(

The scene jump kinda confused me, since I lost track of who the story was following, as the last character to be in the narrator's perspective was Scootaloo (after RD retired to the tent). So, I had to re-read the lines about RD waking up a few times before I realized that it was now back into her third-person. Anyways, even knowing this is a wetting story, you build the tension for the reader nicely as RD is practically interrogating Scootaloo when she realizes she's the one who woke her. She's trying to figure out what's going on, but she's still the big sister, offering to swap places and worried that the filly can't sleep. Nice touch.

"It feels... dirty, doesn't it?" There was a tremor in her voice. "Like you want nothing more in the world than to wake up one day and, for once, just know for sure you'll be dry. But no matter how much you want it, it just seems like it'll never happen."

Oooh! I think I know where this is going. Nothing is more awesome than finding out you have more in common with a very close friend, even if it's not exactly something to celebrate.

Yep. Also, when RD was washing Scootaloo down, I actually got little goosebumps. You could just... feel the understanding between them, it was so sweet. Rainbow Dash definitely makes an awesome big sister. Her actions and thoughts at the end seal the deal.

You delivered the feels :heart: Well done.

Wasn't this named something more descriptive earlier?

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Yeah. But then I decided against it because this title is a helluva lot better.

3673716

Here I go and ramble again. It was a nice fic with a touchy subject that you handled admirably and I start nitpicking away. :facehoof:

I think you make very sensible points, actually. I honestly wouldn't dismiss them as you nitpicking.

It had a lot of typos and grammar mistakes that you might want to fix with another editing pass,

:twilightoops:

Dang. I fixed seven of them just on my first re-read. Sorry about that...

That's why when I read about a broken helmet, I immediately started thinking how it will come into play later. It was a nice detail, but it wasn't necessary for the story.

I agree. I think I probably lingered on the description of the helmet a little too long, and probably ended up confusing some people later on when it was never addressed again.

I also always thought the helmet was metal, not styrofoam, but that's just my preconception.

I actually think you might be right about that. But I guess I just went with styrofoam so I could be all like, "WHOAH she blew the flakes of styrofoam off her hoof and it looked like snowflakes lolololz" and go a bit loco with the imagery and stuff. :twilightblush:

Also is this one of the campsite they hung around in SiP? Because there was a stream right next to it, and a river next to the other one as well, so I found it pretty weird RD would want to postpone the thing until reaching the falls.

...

I guess not? :twilightblush:

That kinda went from being a cute moment between a filly and her role model into 'fishing for feels' territory. It almost made the moment weaker to me. She's an adult and a pretty tough one at that, so it kinda felt un-necessary. Tears are so over-used in 'feel-fics' that they kinda irk me. We already have one character showing emotions that she's crying, so the other one crying as well kinda made it cheaper to me. Without the mention of RD's tears, the scene would have played out just as well, but without the extra dramatics.

Thanks for pointing that out. The absolute last thing I want to do is contrive "feels" just for the hell of it. It kind of irks me as well when I see perfectly good stories contrive aspects of the characters for the sake of feels, and that's not something I wanted to end up doing here. Thanks for the input.

I liked it, favourited it, hit that thumb-up and will probably see if you've got something else worth reading too. :twilightsmile:

Glad you liked it. Hopefully, some of my other stuff is up to speed, too.

EDIT: Huh. Turns out I was already following you because of another fic you wrote. (Hoof covers bruise) but I haven't read it since the first chapter because somehow I haven't been able to get into sad Scootaloo fics for a long while She's become a bit too precious for me. :twilighblush:

I understand. Hoof Covers Bruise isn't an easy read thus far, but...

Alrighty. So I'm just gonna be about as shameless as humanly possible and say that I think you'd find Hoof Covers Bruise worth your time to read. One of the biggest reasons I wanted to write it in the first place, other than it being a sequel to Like Shattered Glass, is because I'd seen so many Scootabuse and Scootaloo orphan stories that either completely DESTROYED her personality and made her into some "woe is me" character that threw herself a pity party every five minutes, or just consisted of nothing but gratuitous violence and abuse as a cheap substitution for actual feels.

As a result, I wanted to write a Scootabuse story that did do her character justice. And while I'm aware that I'll probably come across as a jackass saying this in the comments... I really do believe you'd find HCB to be different from many other generic Scootabuse fics out there. Hell, you might even really like it.

But I can't speak for your tastes, so I'll just leave it at that. :twilightsmile:

So, yay for not being able to follow you again?

Maybe it's just because I have more ginseng running through my veins than blood right now, but I'm not entirely sure what you mean by that... :twilightblush:

And thanks a crud ton for your feedback. I really do appreciate it!

3676980 I meant that I'm already following you and that if I wasn't, I would have started to thanks to this fic. I just didn't remember I was. :facehoof:So hence "follow you a second time."

A joke. Funny. With the laughs, you know?

I know I'll read HCB some day, but until further notice, I'm far more into Scootalove, especially now that we have such good canon outlets for it with her hanging around her friends and RD.:twilightsmile:

And don't get used to nice, constructive criticism and nice comments. I'm a total asshole, a troll, a Tumblr fag and a full-on retard, according to what I've read about myself on the site in just last week. So beware! :flutterrage:

3677011

And don't get used to nice, constructive criticism and nice comments. I'm a total asshole, a troll, a Tumblr fag and a full-on retard, according to what I've read about myself on the site in just last week. So beware! :flutterrage:

I'll stay on my toes. :twilightblush:

I meant that I'm already following you and that if I wasn't, I would have started to thanks to this fic. I just didn't remember I was. :facehoof:So hence "follow you a second time."

Ohh. So did you mean to type "now being able to follow you again"? Because you wrote "not being able to follow you again." That was what I was confused about.

3677034 Well I CAN'T follow you (as in push the follow button) if I already DO follow you. Simple.

Meh. Jokes get totally lame when you have to explain them.

Okay, here's the deal: Following is magic. Now I don't have to explain shit. Cos it's magic, yo. :raritywink:

3677292

Well I CAN'T follow you (as in push the follow button) if I already DO follow you. Simple.

Oh. No shit. My bad. :rainbowlaugh:

Although, technically you're not following ME yet, because you're not one of the 61 peeps that are on my "official" followers list. But whaterrr.

3676076

Thanks a lot, KK. I had a feeling you'd like it. :pinkiehappy: I tried really hard to make sure that I wrote their relationship in a way that was believable, and I'm happy that it looks like I've succeeded.

3673774

Thanks, carnivale. Good to know it wasn't gross! :twilightsmile:

3677512 No problem! I really enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

3677331 Yeah I am. And it's 63, noob. :scootangel:

This was pretty great. However on a personal level it's kind of ironic that I couldn't stop thinking of my little brother who had the same problem. Course I'm sure scoots' problem isn't a medical problem with her bladder that she takes medicine for to this day. But the connection is still there and maybe this is just my head canon of the ages where Scootaloo is about the age he got diagnosed. Sorry I digressed, great fic either way though.

Loved it!

This story is well written. Keep up the good work and have a thumbs up on me. :)

I think you've grappled a sensitive topic very well, alot of people are traumatized when they wet the bed growing up, the sense of shame made worse by less than understanding parents at times. but i believe you did a good job overall, especially with Rainbow's reaction and handling. great fic.:twilightsmile:

Thank you... just... thank you! So much!

i.imgur.com/JAcGzcv.gif

Excellent job proving once again that RD admitting that she's not quite so awesome as she lets on is an act more awesome than any stunt she's ever going to pull.

Wow. A story about bed-wetting that doesn't treat that problem like a joke. Whodathunkit?
I'm starting to like your stuff a lot. Upvote from me.

Grats on your EQD, bro!

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Thanks! I'm pretty much totally stoked about it! :yay:

This was excellently well written and I think you captured the personality of the show's characters spot on. The word "perfect" seems like a little much, but I really don't see any flaws this this one. An easy like and favorite ^^

I love your fanfiction. That's the most important thing I have to say about it.
Stories like yours are exactly the stories I want to see in the show, everything that shows how Rainbow Dash gets more used to it to be the big sister of Scootaloo!
I also wouldn't mind to see the exact same thing that happens in your fanfiction, wetting beds is a completely normal thing and can happen to any filly!
Even to such a cool one like Scootaloo! I hope we will ever get stories like this in the show!
As for the quality of your story, you don't have to worry about anything. This is so much better than my story!
I just wrote my first one and even when I think it came out very good for my first one, I see that I still have to learn many and to improve much when I read through it.
But this story is great!
You described everything so good. Especially the trust Scootaloo has in Rainbow Dash was described by you very well, as Scootaloo sit's completely still when Rainbow Dash cleans her whole body, touching also..... well..... let's just say a certain sensitive spot between her legs.
Also the description how it is to wet your bed at night, explained by Rainbow Dash.
I never was a bedwetter (as far as I can remember, my foalhood is almost completely shrouded in mist for me), but judging on how naturally it sounds when Rainbow Dash describes that, yeah, it's definitely exactly like that.
You've done a splendid work with it! My heart is completely molten now over such an enormous amount of Scootalove! :scootangel:
The only thing that's left now is the bitter sorrow over it, that I can't be at Rainbow Dash's place, no, that I can't be her!
Excellent story! :scootangel:

Great story.

This was very sweet. ^_^

This was a good read. It's a blessing finding other quality stories around here, and Scootalove will never get old. :twilightblush: Also, I'd love to see you continue this. I mean, you could easily finish this off in one or two more chapters.

This is about the sweetest thing I've ever read. :twilightsmile:

I think you've handled the situation very well, and I think this is a great fic! I loved how you portrayed Scootaloo's feelings and Rainbow's reaction. I upvoted and faved it:pinkiehappy:

Que madre :facehoof:
LOL

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