• Published 20th Dec 2013
  • 1,092 Views, 53 Comments

Twilight Sparkle Meets Peaches - arcum42



Twilight discovers that living in a library occasionally involves helping ponies find books.

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15
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 1,092

In Which Twilight Does Not Eat Peaches. Seriously.

Twilight Sparkle winced as she heard a crash from the other room.

"Spike!" she called out as she hurried over to the main section of the library.

"Why do you always assume that it's my fault?" he said plaintively as she entered. She might have given this more credit if he hadn't been laying at the bottom of a huge pile of books.

"Spiike..." she said warningly, glaring at him.

"Well, you were the one that asked me to go get the latest edition of Theomagica Limited," he responded, unphased. "Here you go, by the way."

A scaled hand stuck out of the pile holding the periodical in question.

"Oh, Spike," she said, a disappointed tone in her voice. "If it was stacked too high, you should have just told me."

"I did. You said not to make excuses," he protested.

"Did I?" she said, surprised. "Oh, well, can you go ahead and put all those other books away? I'm going to be busy. There was an article in here that was supposed to be revolutionary, and totally change the way we look at magic!"

She levitated it out of his hand and started flipping through it excitedly.

"Again?" Spike yawned. "You can read that later, Twilight. We've got company, and I can't help her find what she's looking for, now. After all, I have to clean this all up."

"Really?" She looked towards the entrance, and sure enough, there was a peach-colored mare standing there, looking a bit befuddled at the mess of books.

"Well, you know, Twilight, this is a library, not just your private stash of books. Ponies occasionally stop by to check out and return books. Not many of them, since barely anyone actually reads in Ponyville, but a few. Of course, I usually end up being the one that handles them, since you're always busy or off with your friends…"

"Fine, fine, I get it, Spike."

"Go help her, then. I have a bunch of books to put away."

Right. Try to ignore the mess, Twilight, all the books that aren't carefully catalogued and filed into exactly the right place. Ignore the extremely interesting article just waiting for you. Somepony is waiting, and you have to help them.

She trotted up to the stranger. Earth pony, cutie mark of three peaches. The mare was probably a farmer of some sort, so if she got her a book on agriculture or something, she might go away. Though she did seem trim, with a rather shapely flank. Maybe she wanted a book on exercise or nutrition?

"Hello. I'm Twilight Sparkle. Was there something I could help you with?"

The mare still seemed to be looking past her at where Spike was still digging out of the pile of books.

"Is everything alright back there?" she asked Twilight.

Twilight laughed nervously. "I'm sure Spike has it under control."

Another crashing sound came from that direction, and Twilight winced. She moved to try to block the book pile from the mare's line of sight.

"Um, maybe I could find you a book? The section on agriculture is right over here…"

Twilight pointed at an aisle well away from the disaster area. The strange mare just laughed, red tail swishing back and forth.

"I suppose I do look the type, don't I? Being named 'Peaches' doesn't help the matter, either. I'm not a farmer, though, and I've always found agriculture extremely boring."

"Really?" Twilight blurted out, before she could stop herself.

"Cutie marks can be deceiving, can't they? Just because something is your special talent hardly means it's going to be what you end up wanting to do for a living. I'd imagine you'd know that yourself, since your cutie mark is hardly a book."

Twilight looked back at her flank instinctively. It was true that being good with magic and running a library didn't have much in common, though to be fair, she didn't particularly consider herself a librarian.

"It's true some ponies can be far too obsessed with cutie marks. You should have seen the number the Cutie Mark Crusaders did on my library when trying to get one."

Peaches pointed behind them. "I'd imagine it looked something like that?"

Twilight shook her head. "Touche."

"They could always try attending one of my yoga classes. You never know, one of them could have yoga as a special talent."

"You're a yoga teacher?" That hadn't even crossed Twilight's mind, though with her sleek physique, it made sense.

"Instructor, but yes. The best one in Ponyville, but then, I'm the only one in Ponyville. That's the trouble with these small towns."

"I- I hadn't even been aware there was a yoga class in town."

"Oh yes. It's a small class, but I have a few regular members. Aloe, Lotus, and Blossomforth, to name a few. Have you ever thought about trying yoga?"

"Not really, no."

"Oh, it has plenty of benefits. You get all sorts of flexibility from practice. After a while, you can find yourself able to do things like this!"

At that, she started demonstrating all sorts of poses that looked impossible to get into. Twilight blushed as one of them proved to her that Peaches' mane and tail color was, indeed, naturally red.

"I'm not exactly that athletic," Twilight finally managed to say, as Peaches finished.

"Oh, you don't have to be to get into it. Yoga also helps with relaxation and clearing your mind. Plenty of my students practice just for that." Peaches wiped off her forehead. "It tends to leave me a bit thirsty, though."

Twilight looked over where Spike was still working on putting away the books from the pile.

"Spike? Could you get the two of us some tea?"

Spike sighed, and put down the book he was holding. "Sure, Twi, whatever you say."

Spike vanished into the kitchen.

"So, you were looking for some books on yoga, then?" Twilight ventured.

"I already have anything this library would have on yoga. I was actually looking for some light reading. A mystery novel or two, perhaps, or some fantasy."

As the two of them discussed book preferences, Spike came back with a tray holding three cups of tea and a pitcher. Twilight looked at it quizzically.

"Three cups?"

"Very good, Twilight," Spike said, passing out the cups. "You can count."

Twilight rolled her eyes as Spike grabbed the last cup and started drinking it.

"Anyways, I can get you started on a series about a cat that helps solve crime, or a ghost, or a few others. Let's take a look."

She led Peaches down one aisle of the library, and they started picking out books. Pretty soon, a small pile of books from the library were being signed out.

Once all of them were stashed in Peaches' saddlebags, she came up next to Twilight, brushing up against her side.

"Thanks ever so much for all the help," she said. "Hey, why don't I take you out to lunch, my treat? I'm sure your assistant there can handle the library for a while."

Twilight glanced over at Spike, who appeared to have just finished putting away the last book, and gave her a thumbs up.

"Sure, I'd l-" Twilight looked back ahead and suddenly realized Peaches was right in front of her now, hindquarters right in front of her. She gulped. "I'd love to."

Peaches looked back at her. "So, what'cha want to eat?"

She tried to concentrate on the question. "A salad?"

"How 'bout for dessert?"

Looking in front of her, as the orange mare's rear gently swayed, there was only one thing she could think of.

"Peaches?" Twilight struggled to catch herself. "Um, peach pie, maybe? Or peach cobbler?"

Peaches laughed. "That'll work. Come on."

She walked out of the library, and Twilight followed her automatically.

After they left, Spike went over to a desk, and pulled out a checklist. Next to an item that said 'Get Twilight a Date', he put a checkmark. He hesitated for a moment over the next one on the list 'Get Twilight Laid', but put the paper away. He wouldn't know whether to check that off until later.

Author's Note:

I'm publishing this a bit against my better judgement, but I've been meaning to publish more of what I write. This mainly came of being bored at work, and having the whole 'Twilight Eats Peaches' thing in my mind. I may have another oneshot appear soon, but that one I want to at least do a second draft on...

If this proves to be my most popular story, someone dies.

Comments ( 53 )

...........

Well played, dude.

Well played.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3654555

Thanks. It's been kind of dead at work the last two days, and it was easier to work on something new then revise, and the title idea stuck in my head.

Though I honestly did not do nearly as much revising as I'd usually do on this, and it's probably the first story of mine that I'm not sure I should add to Twilight's Library. :twilightsheepish:

--arcum42

3654570

We should hold a poll...

~Skeeter The Lurker

3654575

I might. Of course, "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches" would be a natural sequel to this, but, well, not really planning on writing clop...

3654673

Give it time...

Someone will.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I'm only reading this 'cause it's you, got that?

3654741

I was of two minds whether to even publish this, really. But, eh, I need to publish things more often.

--arcum42

3654754
You're in the clear. I actually liked it. :twilightsmile:

3654760

Ah, thanks. Funny thing is I somehow think this story says more about Twilight and Spike then anything...

--arcum42

Nice! Good character piece.

:pinkiehappy:

3654942

Thanks. I actually did have fun writing this, even if I wasn't sure how well it'd come off. I suspect at least one of the downvotes was due to having 'Peaches' in the story name, but I knew that'd happen. I'm always a bit sad when Spike isn't in a story centering around Twilight for no adequately explored reason...

--arcum42

Actually one of the better things to come out of this whole meme business.

3655118

Thanks. If just the title had occurred to me, this fic might have just never seen the light of day, but the characters showed up and wanted to stay in character, if you know what I mean.

And, you know, I actually have a thing about making sure I know where Spike is if Twilight comes on stage, and trying to make sure he gets his time in. He gets overlooked way too often.

Of course, this is now my most downvoted fanfic, but with how well the others have done and the general dislike of the meme, that was a bit inevitable...

--arcum42

3655176

most downvoted fanfic

>> 3 downvotes so far

With all due respect, sir, quitcherbitchin.:trixieshiftright:

3655176
Be glad for only four. I got one that's almost negative in ratio :fluttercry: but it was fun to write.:derpytongue2:

If you enjoyed it, that's all you can really ask for from a story. I did, so appreciate the small things :twilightsmile:

Just think, in a few years, we'll remember this week and share a hearty laugh for the shenanigans we found ourselves participating in.:trollestia:

3656148

Yeah, and as I said, I expected it. I also didn't put as much effort into revising after writing as I usually do on this one. But it was fun to write.

I've got another oneshot waiting that'll probably get some downvotes as well, in fact, once I'm done revising the thing. That one doesn't involve peaches, though.

--arcum42

3655424

I was somewhat anticipating future downvotes as well...

--arcum42

3656196
Doesn't matter, had fun, I like to say.

I'll be sure to look for it when it drops!:pinkiesmile:

Misleading title. We can reasonably infer that at some point after the end of the story, Twilight does in fact eat Peaches. :P

There have been two peach stories that have shown up on my feed.

Both of them have been subversions.

I'm following the right people. :twilightsmile:

3658202

That would be a reasonable assumption, and Twilight is clearly very lucky to have Spike. However, that was a chapter title, and it doesn't happen in the chapter... :pinkiehappy:

3658276
Yeah. People have been a little downvote happy on Peaches fanfics, but I couldn't resist once I thought of the story name.

--arcum42

:rainbowhuh:....:rainbowlaugh:

Amusingly... you earned a like, fav, and follow from me for this.

3660796

Thanks! Keep in mind I have several, er, rather better liked fanfics as well, if you find yourself looking for something to read. :pinkiehappy:

--arcum42

...... WHAT WITH THE FUCKING PEACHES??!!!!!!!!

3667686

Read this site blog, and look at the examples. Everyone decided to make the example 'Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches' exist.

As it happens, I decided to subvert it instead in my story, as it occurred to me that Peaches is a perfectly good pony name... :scootangel:

--arcum42

3667765 .........sighs. at least i got an answer................ though it does not change the fact that the site now has dozens upon dozens of peach tehmed fics.

3667893

Don't worry, I think the meme is starting to die out. Besides, look how many downvotes I have on this story, and compare it to my other stories. I think a bunch of people are downvoting anything with peaches in the name...

--arcum42

3668088 couldn't they have had a better mem? like a, suddenly there is an epic dramatic pony adventure, meme? anything but a form of inconsequential fruit?

3668140

Well, memes tend to be pretty random and latch on to minor things. Usually it's one specific thing, too, like the Twilight scepter, or tentacles, not a genre. I tend more towards slice of life personally anyways...

--arcum42

3668174 thw twilight scepter thing i actually found funny because.......... it is just so random and ridiculous, and discord made it (not to mention i am fairly sure the creators did it on purpose, knowing what it would bring). but a peach has no comedic purpose or existence. and tentacles and EVERYWHERE even without a show having them come up.

Riz

3668174 I seen this Twi & peaches fics all over here. Why & how it got viral ?

To say true, I had had no idea about this "sceptre" and other meme thing, before I read this topic. So my first thought was, that this story would probably be about Twilight's unsuccessful attempt to open canned peaches, and as a result - total destruction of the library. But what you wrote is at least ten times better. Thank you, that was really amusing to read.

3716512

No problem, and thanks. I'll admit, I find the incongruity between the ratings and the actual comments amusing. I think a bunch of people just downvoted it because they didn't like the meme.

Which is a pity, because I very much like the way Spike ended up in this. Ah well, I'm generally happy with the way Spike turned out in another ongoing story of mine, Just Winging It, too, and that one's rated rather better...

3693884

See this comment:

3667765

3726015 Exactly. The part with Spike was probably the best part of the story, it's where the whole salt is. Like the story was only one long joke, written especially to let us enjoy such a culmination in the end. By the way, it's always extra-amusing to see Spike acting out of his age, doing or speaking something adult. I don't know why, but for some reason it always works.

Hey, Arcum42, do you mind if I add this story to the group folder for "Luna and Scootaloo Fans?"

3731352

Well, it has neither Scootaloo nor Luna in it, but if you feel it belongs there, since you run the group, go ahead. Just Winging It might be a better choice, though, as it has both Scootaloo and Luna.

--arcum42

3731392

Meh. I don't care if it doesn't contain any of them. I think that it is a good story, and that's why it earns a place in the group. I'll probably add "Just Winging It" too though. :pinkiehappy:

3731402

Alright. For what it's worth, Spike's character in this story was very influenced by the way I was writing him in Just Winging It.

--arcum42

3654673 Honestly, when I saw that title, I thought cannibalism, not clop. Anyway, because this wasn't a shameless ripoff of the whole Twilight Eats a Peach thing (and, perhaps in part because you're technically my boss's boss in the group):

tinyurl.com/llaz5ct

And that makes 17 stories I've managed to take care of in the incoming folder on the day, only three of which were read. The rest being sorted but stuck in the incoming folder waiting for removal

When I see a story involving peaches, I ignore the rating and read regardless. I'm pretty sure most peach stories are unfairly downvoted on principal. This was a nice little subversion of the peaches meme that I enjoyed. Nice work.

:ajsmug: Haha, I feel like I would be the only one who would get the "naturally red" joke. Or, maybe not. I don't know.

Mind if I make cover art for this story? Just describe how you want Peaches to look.

4245424

Well, hopefully some other people got it, too, but you never know...

4249944
If you want to make cover art, feel free, since the current cover art is just pretty much the result of a google images search for peaches. I'm certainly not going to say no to something better. :twilightsmile:

Peaches was described as athletic, peach-colored, with a cutie mark of three peaches, and of course, a red tail and mane with a shapely flank.

Aside from the mane color, she's probably somewhere between Peachy Pie and Miss Harshwhinny...

--arcum42

4250332
Sounds good! Gettin on it! :rainbowwild:

4251421

Sorry, been highly distracted the last few days. I like the Peaches picture. As far as cover art goes, I'll probably want to fiddle with it for a while, maybe add a background, title, etc.

Most of that I can do, just coming up with the initial picture's the hard part for me. :twilightsmile:

4268964
Okay, sounds good. Thanks for using mah art! :rainbowkiss:

Don't mean to be pushy, but, uh, when will the coverart be replaced? :twilightsheepish:

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