Chrysalis has never been what most would call an 'ideal mother' to her only living daughter, the sickly Crown Princess Pupa. However, after a dreadful incident, the Changeling Queen is forced to confront her missteps as both a mother and a ruler.
Ink Blot, one of Vinyl Scratches oldest friends is moving from Manehattan to Ponyville. He's an artist with extraordianary talent and Twilight has taken a fancy to him. There's only one problem, Ink is blind.
Fluttershy is depressed. She's not only depressed she's struggling really badly just to get through her everyday life, but there may just be more to it than depression.
I know this is a one-shot but I'd like to see more... she has the potential to go full bat guano crazy arsonist or she could choose to be more of a woobie destroyer of worlds like Charlie (Drew Barrymore) in Firestarter. It is implied that she's leaning toward the former at the moment.
3651388 I like the concept, and i'm pretty interested in where this could go, but the pacing is almost non existent. you need to put more detail into describing the surroundings and the actions of the characters, rather than just telling us whats happening. Anytime a character speaks they require quotation marks e.g
I'm going to teach you to keep your mouth shut
should be
"I'm going to teach you to keep your mouth shut"
There are quite a lot of things wrong with this story, and the only redeeming part is its concept and it's potential to be an awesome character drama.
3651462 Well, the story was intended to be kind of vague, like a distant memory. But I will go back and add some more detail, if you think it will improve the storyline.
I just got inspired in the middle of the night, and honestly, I was so doped up on sleeping pills that I hardly remember even writing it.
Full review here, but in brief: a shame there's no twist or unpredictability here. It's just relentless unpleasantness followed by a predictable "shock" ending. A shame as there's potential in the setup.
Sounds like the backstory of a potential villain.
Nice description.
3651063 Does that mean you like it?
3651353 Um... Sorry.
3651378
I know this is a one-shot but I'd like to see more... she has the potential to go full bat guano crazy arsonist or she could choose to be more of a woobie destroyer of worlds like Charlie (Drew Barrymore) in Firestarter. It is implied that she's leaning toward the former at the moment.
3651388 I like the concept, and i'm pretty interested in where this could go, but the pacing is almost non existent. you need to put more detail into describing the surroundings and the actions of the characters, rather than just telling us whats happening. Anytime a character speaks they require quotation marks e.g
should be
There are quite a lot of things wrong with this story, and the only redeeming part is its concept and it's potential to be an awesome character drama.
3651433 I might write a sequel, if you ask nicely...
3651462 Well, the story was intended to be kind of vague, like a distant memory. But I will go back and add some more detail, if you think it will improve the storyline.
I just got inspired in the middle of the night, and honestly, I was so doped up on sleeping pills that I hardly remember even writing it.
I really hope to read more. I want to know what happened to her mother, where she's going, and what was in the basement!
3673861 It was really meant to be a one shot. But I'm glad you liked and favorited it. It really means a lot that you enjoyed it.
And I have an idea. Why don't YOU write the sequel?
And give me credit for the original lol.
LET IT BURN!!!! BURN TO THE GROUND!!!!!
Full review here, but in brief: a shame there's no twist or unpredictability here. It's just relentless unpleasantness followed by a predictable "shock" ending. A shame as there's potential in the setup.