Celestia Hates Google+

by TheCupzy

Celestia Hates Google+

"SISTER!!!" A booming voice rung through the castle, resonating through the halls and causing nearby paintings to become crooked. Because that's what always happens when people scream. The paintings wobble and tilt slightly. It symbolizes imbalance or some crap.

A few minutes later, a dazed princess of the night came crashing through the bedroom doors, clearly having just awoken from her beauty (totally not slacking off or anything like that) sleep. Clearly, such a loud and blood-chilling scream would mean that somepony was currently endangering her sister's life? Well, you should've seen the look on her face when she barged into the room, horn blazing, only to find that the cause of the scream came in the form of a tiny LCD monitor.

"..."

"..."

"Sister...? What's wrong?" Luna asked carefully.

"Oh, Luna, you're here! Something terrible has happened! A travesty! Something that rivals King Sombra, Discord, and Pinkie Pie combined!" Celestia shouted, her face contorted into an expression of pure terror.

"Are you sure? I don't see anything..." Luna said, almost disappointed that there wasn't something that she could use her magic wibbly-wobbly sparkle powers of doom on.

"Just look at this!" Celestia shouted, quickly using her magic to spin a small laptop around. On the small appliance rested the homepage for youtube, a file sharing website. Or more importantly, a website to make untalented and uninspired videos to share with other idiots.

"I believe that's simply youtube, sister... Wait, aren't you supposed to be working right now?"

"Irrelevant! Don't you see what they've done!?" Celestia shouted, violently tapping her hoof against the screen multiple times.

"I really don't see what you're getting at, sister." Luna replied. Celestia let out an annoyed sigh.

"You know how google made that really bad facebook clone a little while ago?" Celestia asked, finally lowering the tone of her voice.

"Yes. I believe it was called google plus." Luna replied.

"Well, they've added support for google plus on youtube!" Celestia shouted.

"But... That doesn't sound terribly awful..." Luna replied, putting a hoof to her chin.

"Oh yeah? Well now, you HAVE to have a google plus account if you want to do ANYTHING on youtube anymore!" Celestia shouted, the force of her voice sending out potentially-lethal bullets of spit travelling at an extremely high velocity (Okay, that would be awesome for a kid's toy. I am so copyrighting that.)

"That sounds preposterous, sister." Luna said, dumbfounded.

"Don't believe me? Just look at this! You can't comment!"

Dramatic gasp!

"You can't subscribe!"

Dramatic gasp!

"You can't make videos!"

*Exhale quickly* Dramatic gasp!

"Why would google do such a thing?" Luna asked.

"Because they thought it would be a good way to 'connect' us with our friends!" Celestia shouted.

"What do you propose we do?" Luna asked.

"We should go to google headquarters and force them to change the system! I control the sun, they HAVE to listen to me!" Celestia shouted.

"Sister... Google headquarters rest within another dimension..."

"I don't care! If they can spread their influence to Equestria, then we can spread our influence to them!"

"But you're the only Pony in Equestria who owns a laptop. You also refuse to explain to me the logistics of how you managed to acquire an internet connection..." Luna said, slowly losing the will to live.

"Fibre-optic broadband, sister! So good, it can travel between dimensions!" Celestia shouted. (Yeah, so if sky could just lend me a few thousand pounds because I advertised, that'd be great. k, thnx)

"That still doesn't explain how-"

"Oh, come on! Can't we create, like, a portal or something!? We're goddesses, for Celestia's sake! Oh, wait..."

"That would cost a lot of magical power, sister. And you need it to maintain the sun's-"

"Forget the sun! The fate of the internet rests on our shoulders, Luna!"

"But surely the safety of Equestria is more important than your subscription box?"

"Hogwash! I still haven't had my daily dose of Nerdcubed and rage against Pewdiepie!" Celestia shouted.

"So what do you propose we do?"

"I dunno. Blow stuff up?"

"That seems impractical..."

"Impractical, but awesome."

"Sister, I should inform you that there are multiple recreational facilities in Equestria that would certainly suit your needs."

"What are you trying to say, Luna? I'm a perfectly healthy Pony. The dentist still gives me free candy for having good teeth!"

"I was talking about your mental health, sister."

"Why are you changing the subject, Luna? Google is still at large."

"What? But... I- Wait... Ugh..." Luna muttered, hoof meeting face. "Why don't we just send a message to google addressing our worries?" She asked.

"What? Google? Addressing worries? That's a good one, Luna. You should become a comedian or something. I'm pretty sure google headquarters have this HUGE paper cutter that they throw all the complaints into."

"Then why don't we-"

"Attack them? Fantastic idea, Luna! Although, you'll have to take the blame if anything goes wrong. I'm so happy that you're willing to accept that responsibility!" Celestia shouted, suddenly beaming.

"What!? I never agreed to-"

"Guards!" Celestia shouted. Before long, an auburn Pony ran through the doors, standing to attention in front of the duo.

"What are your orders, Princess?" The guard asked.

"Inform the military force that we're- Mmph!?"

"Giving them the day off! Inform the military force that we've decided to give them the day off. You can go now!" Luna shouted, clasping a firm hoof over Celestia's mouth. The guard nodded uneasily at the siblings before cautiously leaving the room, closing the door on his way out.

"What was that!? You could've doomed us all!" Luna shouted, releasing the hoof from Celestia's mouth.

"What? It seemed like a good idea." Celestia replied.

"Charging into an alternate dimension to destroy a multinational organization because they accidentally caused you to create a google plus account seemed like a good idea to you? I'm starting to question why so many people respect you..." Luna said.

"Because taxes are low. We don't really need government taxes when me can literally materialize money out of thin air, do we?" Celestia asked, a small golden coin dropping into her hoof after a quick flash of her horn.

"That's besides the point. You almost caused full-blown war."

"For a good cause."

"Yes. I'm sure everypony in Equestria wants free access to a website they don't even know about."

"When did I ever say I was doing this for Equestria?"

"So you're doing this for your own gain?"

"Well, I'm a pretty important Pony, right? If I don't get what I want then I won't be happy enough to give other Ponies what they want. See? I'm putting logic and stuff into this."

"Why don't you just create an multi-dimensional petition or something? I'm pretty sure you can't ignore those things by law." Luna asked.

"A multi-dimensional petition... That's brilliant! Why didn't I come up with something like that?"

"Because you have the intelligence rating of a plank of wood."

"This is fantastic! I must create this petition, post-haste!" Celestia shouted, apparently ignoring Luna's snide remark. Celestia quickly dashed out of the room, leaving Luna alone with her laptop.

"I wonder if..." Luna muttered, quickly moving towards the laptop. She pressed the small button at the top of the webpage and scrolled down to a button titled 'History'

"Two mares, one cup. What's that supposed to-"

Celestia stopped in her tracks, listening to the faint sounds of screaming rupturing through the castle.

"Whoops. Did I leave that thing on?"

Author's Note:

I have a strange feeling in the bottom of my stomach that I've violated at least one of the terms and conditions on this site.

Comments

[Rainbow Dash 55]

[johnny115]

This needs a sequel.

[Dementia Ravenmane]

You are a genious. A pure and unchallenged genious.

[Scribbleroo]

best story ever..

[DerpyShy511]

LOL this was awesome.

[Mr Ignorable]

Everybody hates Google+

[TheCyanQuill]

HAHAHA. UM,NO.

[G-man64]

3727861
Thank you. Just thank you so much someone who actually has some sense. You know the thing I really love? All the Google+ haters who post the Bob thing. Because that means they already signed up just so they could complain. Think about that for a second that would be like a hater joining this site just to hate on us. But it's even better with Bob because you don't even need to use Google+ they just wanted more people to join it to please their stock holders so by doing the Bob thing to complain they've let Google win. They all just need to suck it up and move on with their lives (looking at you Nerd Cubed PUT BACK ON COMMENTS! Nobody else was a big enough baby to just turn them off do the mature thing and put them back on). The fact is it's happened, it's not going to change, get over it.

[TheCupzy]

3728513

I've successfully managed to get people to express their opinions over the internet...

I'm really not sure if that's an achievement or not...

[G-man64]

3728573
Well if you write about something like this everyone will need to put their two cents in. Weather it's a good thing or not has yet to be seen. If it erupts into a flame war then it was bad. If it results in a civil conversation about the pros and cons it was good (please note this almost never happens). If it's just a few people talking about their opinions then it really doesn't matter all that much.

[TheCupzy]

3728594

I feel horrible when writing this because I feel as if I'm only stoking the fire. Civil conversation on the internet comes rarely. If not, then never. Well, apart from this one, but you probably get what I mean. I really have nothing against google+, I just imagined the amount of (admittedly bad) jokes I could salvage from it would be worth poking the sleeping bear that are the supporters of google. I suppose I should shut up now, in fear of being crucified.

[G-man64]

3728643
Well like I said earlier I'm neither for or against Google. I just think people blew it way out of proportion. There was no real changes worth yelling about the internet just likes to complain about things. A few weeks later they found something new and everyone stopped complaining about this. I stand true to thinking it was more that people didn't like being told they had to do something. People didn't want to be told they needed a Google+ so they got all butt hurt about it.

[Ponylover123456789]

Are we simply going to talk about weather or not Google plus was a good idea or, are we going to address that this writer is obviously a genius and that him/her should open a comedic college so comedians can come at least a mile from hers/his level of comedic brilliance?

[Cillerenda]

I might have gone insane as well if I couldn't watch my daily dose of Game Grumps.

[Aurora Dimmet]

3727861

Sounds like a personal problem. Please to be keeping it personal.

[TheCupzy]

3729015

You just made my week.

[Thunderlane]

I certainly can feel Celestia's rage.

Every single change Google does to YouTube makes it worse and worse.

[Eclipsed]

3729556
YouTube won't even let me play videos on my Kindle any more.
Well, sometimes it does, but then it starts reloading over and over again to the homepage until I throw the damned thing onto the floor.

[Thunderlane]

3730597
I can't pause a video and let it fully buffer anymore. Never could after that stupid YouTube One update.

And that's not going into needing Google Plus to comment and the ridiculous Content ID situation. Yeah, Google, you're really screwing up YouTube.

[Serefin]

In all honesty, just the act of Google buying YouTube was kind of a bad thing. Before that, YouTube was a nice site that just didn't get a lot of traffic, with pretty much no problems apart from not getting enough money. When Google bought them, they suddenly had tons of money, so they started making all these awesome changes to the site. But then shit started going to shit. It started with Google's copyright stuff, then came Google+, and now we're at the point it's at now.

[Starlight Shadow]

Faved becuz ponies

[Brutal Heart]

I'm afraid Google+ won't be adhering to anyone's demands.
The more videos and comments people post, the more revenue they get, because it's forcefully applying both websites at once, instead of just one. Hell, i'm almost certain they made thousands of dollars just off of the damned "Bob Hates Youtube" spammers. Really, the only way I could see it being forced into a former state is if everyone began boycotting both Youtube and Google+, thus making their revenue plunge. However, there's some dingbats out there that have embraced Google+, and the new Youtube setup; Such numerous amounts of dingbats (mainly uploaders who wish to use both sites to try and advertise more of their channel), that such a feat would be impossible.

Hell, who knows. Maybe Youtube will become Myspace in the future, and a newer, much more cooler website will waddle along.

[Chuck Baleigh]

This was kind of "eh" work.

[freakishlydashly]

this is hilarious, but I don't see why Celestia hates google+ so much, you make one account, and have an account for everything google. google+ is okay, but I wouldn't constantly be on there, again though HILLARIOUS