Found?

A misty grey earth pony with a soil brown mane entered his pastel blue cottage creating a soft click from his hooves walking from the soft fertile ground to the cherry hardwood floor. He bid a greeting to no one in particular, slowly closing the door as quietly as possible behind him. After stretching out his tired, stiff legs and getting comfortable in his favorite chair he noticed his company had been rather mute and unmoving like a statue with her wings strangely stiffened and rigid since his arrival. Smoke-eater regarded his wife, a usually busy pale pink pegasus pony with a mountain of a curly corn-colored mane, curiously as she stared mesmerized by a piece of coffee and tear stained parchment that was placed delicately in front of her at their dining table. "Is everything alright, Sugarplum?" he asked trotting over to her side and peering over her shoulder. Sugarplum hardly flinched as his mane brushed softly against her neck as he looked over her, still too numb to react as she normally would. The small neat script was scrawled over the entirety of the page. With a quick glance Smoke-eater could see the reason behind his graven wife's figure. A tear rolled off the cheek of Sugar and onto the only recently dry black ink slightly obscuring the first couple words. Even with all of the damage this paper had taken it was still legible, Smoke wasn't sure if this was a good or a bad thing. With a steeled expression Smoke-eater studied the well crafted print with growing dejection as he read aloud. His voice cracked with emotion periodically through out his reading.

"My Dear Parents,

My letter will probably make you not to happy with me but, hopefully will not make you cry. I just want it to be known how I am feeling. What this weight that I carry on my shoulders feels like. For sometime now I have felt like an outcast to this family, unwanted and useless. It seems that my only function is to let you down, in my life choices, in my grades, and as a daughter. I want to make you proud.

Dad, you don’t know how much it hurt me when you said “I am so disappointed in you”. I felt so terrible about myself that I went off and cried for an hour. How could you hurt somepony who loves you so deeply. This fact is the reason that I beat myself up over the littlest things. I want to be worthy in your eyes. Never to reach such a point of disappointment again. I want to be the daughter you dreamt of while I was nestled away in the womb. I want to make you proud.

I strive every day to make you happy with me. I even go to the lengths of cutting off my social life to fit your own. Cut off friends and those I care about to be at your beck and call. My ways of redemption in your eyes might end up meaning nothing, thought I truly hope that isn’t the case. What is it that I don’t have? I am at a loss for what it is. The spark that I was so vilely not deemed worthy to even grasp at. To look upon such a trait with my slate daggers for eyes would taint it. I just know that that 'thing' is what makes you so proud and excited whenever it shows in my brother. I want that to be me, in his place. I want to make you proud.

I have to admit, I am tearing up while writing this letter out. I just want you to know how much I crave you saw in me such a beautiful light. It is a never ending journey for my tired form. I may never reach that place, but I will try my damnedest to get there. I don’t know what else to do. I have no other worth. We drift farther apart each day, despite my attempts to reignite our relationship. I honestly feel like I am loosing you guys, like if I don’t go above and beyond what I am capable of, I will be left in the dark, lonely and afraid. I love you, but you are the scariest ponies I will ever meet in my entire life. Knowing how much you love somepony and them feel only pity and or anger for you is the worst feeling I have ever experienced. It feels like your heart is constantly being ripped out and covered in salt. A reoccurring day terror that you can't escape, even in your dreams. I would never even think, not even THINK, this feeling upon my worst sworn enemy to endure. Such a sentence would surely be death by cruel and unusual punishment. I have lost so many members of my 'family', I don’t want to loose you to. I want you to be able to smile and say “Look at this, my daughter did this” to your friends. To not be ashamed of my mistakes, past and future. That is why I am leaving. I am going to be the next shining star in the night sky. I want the world to know my name for something great, but first I need you to believe in me. I need you to know my name, who I am, and what I can do. I want to make you proud.
Sincerely,
Your Little Dessie"

Smoke-eater had to stop several times while reading to regain enough composure to continue. Tears streamed down his wife's face through out .By the end of the letter both parents' words were stricken from them by sadness. Smoke took one look at the devastated Sugarplum and pulled her still unyielding figure close to his in a tight hug. Sobs escaped them both as they embraced. "How could we have let this happen, Smoke?" sniffled Sugarplum as she lifted her long thin face from the crook of her husband's neck " I think we let wool be pulled over our eyes, Shug." Each word pounded nails into each ponies' heart. With wide teary eyes Sugarplum whispered "And now she is gone..."

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