The story of Soarin McLighting, an airshow spitfire pilot and ex-RAF test pilot for new planes in the United Kingdom. His normal happy life has been plagued by dreams of a land of magical talking ponies. Unknown to him this would soon become his reality in more ways then one...When his tale of meeting Wonderbolts unexpectedly takes off...
Proofread by Joesephius_Loewe (Prologue to Chapter 12)
Proofread by That Loopy Author (Chapter 13 onwards)
Story has now continued.
Rated Teen for language and some romantic points
Chapters (18)
Nice job!
I'm intrigued so far. I'll decide to fav it or not next chapter, depending on how it goes. Keep up the good work!
3646588
I will then try to aim to please ya and the other readers.
3642819
Thank you
Passive voice in a celebratory scene.
I'd suggest putting a comma after "eating."
"We sure will," Soarin replied, running up to his plane
All in all, your story seems pretty interesting so far, but since there's no real action or conflict going on, I'm going to have to hold off on any likes or favourites. I'll have to check in later to see how this one goes.
3647187
Well I hope the next few chapters will spark some interest.
3647187
I'm not quite sure what is wrong with using the passive voice for 'music was heard'.
3647913
I just think the incongruity of such words as "explosions" and "fireworks" followed by a statement of passive voice makes the scene slightly less exciting. There's nothing strictly wrong with it; you can ignore me if you like it the way it is. It's just a matter of personal preference.
Okay, you've got me. Now all I gotta do is wait for more.
...
...
*twiddles thumbs*
Er.... Wait this was bait... Now I am definitely confused, which Soarin' are we talking about?
3676246 Both ^^ Soarin human sees Wonderbolt Soarin when he sleeps, but to him it just a dream state. He has no idea he really seeing the life of Soarin from Equestia
3678049
I noticed that from the start but the weird transformation bid suggests there will be two Soarin's in the next chapter in Equestria.
3678080 just have to wait and see if your right or wrong my friend.
I think Soarin from Earth should wake up and meet Soarin from Equestria straight away, but you should see what everypony else thinks first.
Absolutely wonderful!
wat what happened i don't even i dun get this could someone please just explain this to me and in detail please because i don't...
3686223 I am gathering that your talking about the scene between the crash and the tapping of the glass, that my friend is the dream state.
Hope that resolves your confusion
3686317
It's still pretty confusing as to what's going on. Better once you finish it, but while reading it it's just fairly confusing...
Oh, and "yer" is "your". If you're looking for a more 'southern' "you, trying something like "yuh". Not sure if that's how you'd spell it, but that's about like it sounds.
As for what's next? Do which one advances the story better! I'm sure you've actually got some sort of idea on where you're going ;)
3686396
I will take that into account, no one really pulled that up before and most stories I read when giving the southern talk used 'yer' then 'yuh'
If it helps currently that the end of the mishmash of dreams and reality. I am didn't mean for those that read it to get confused.
I didn't want it to be too obvious that what he was seeing was a dream after blacking out till tapping of the glass part when he realises it is a dream he in and the dream is his.
Guess when thinking about it, I kinda put the reader in Soarin's place with him first confused about he was in a dream and then upon realising he didn't want it to end.
3686439
I wouldn't doubt they do. Admittedly, I'm a well-traveled Okie that has no idea how to put his accent into words, so I wouldn't doubt they do!
Just grand ball of light is the culprit, insert of Discord and I had a guess turn out right, Soarin of earth meets Soarin of Equestria, thankfully not a body/mind swap deal. As for continuation, I think the perspective of how Earth Soarin came in with a crashing plane can be an interesting part of the story, but this can be jsut a filler, and the main one to be SoarinH! to meet SoarinP!
3686317 OHHHH..... okay i get it now ty :)
Well, good chapter.
Well, good chapter.
3734565
Thanks glad you like it
I smell Lyra to be a possible victim.
Loved instantly, cant wait to read the next chapters
Lol its funny his he acts as though nothing strange is going on
Cant wait
Celestia in your dreams...
Oh if only Molly knew she could have learned to do that...
Still, an impressive chapter and to the depth of Mr. Mclighting
3800596 well it up lol
You know, I get the distinct feeling that Misty's unhappy, not sure why.
I think every British person says that!
one minute it could be nice and sunny, the next it'll be pissing it down with rain! Then you're there feeling like a twat with your shorts and T-shirt on!
3892053
Lol I all too well know how that felt! Happened ages ago and just stood there in the rain soaked muttering to myself 'bloody weather...'
Thats is Spar! Keep buggering on!
3892131 I remember one time it just randomly started snowing! Bloody 15 degrees outside, and it starts to snow!! I though I saw all but that! that made me fall on the ground laughing! my friend thought I went crazy!
The plot thickens, in interesting ways...
3933680 glad you've enjoyed the story so far and try to keep things interested ^^
3934363 Usually Electuroo writes a chapter a week and then we go through it and try to release it within a few days, so hopefully not long at all.
3935927
Just Electuroo and myself
Oh... So THAT'S who Lightning Rider was!
3955629
3957896
White Shadow
(Had to be said!
)
3958079 Turbo reference!
This new chapter opens some new possibilities.... Lets see where this goes......
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2044-28302_-_animated_Derelle_Sweetie_Belle_sweetie_der.gif
When does Soarin meet his wingpony?
I mean she is supposed to arrive days after and in a similar state or boom of a crash like he did.
4115870 Mist arrival was announced by Zealous in chapter 9, she been there for a few days held captive in the ruins by Ahuizotl and made clear by that on he his chapter. Her journey wasn't as slow as Soarin's because she was already turn pony when entering the fog bank.
Hope that helps.
4192346 oh what theory did you have?
4192977 I see
Well let say your half right but not saying which
... Shit. That just bucked my tree of predictions right out of my head.