The Crowded Library

by SuperGiantRobot

Dear 'Princess'

Dear ‘Princess’ Celestia,

I message you this day to voice my extreme displeasure for you as a ruler. It seems to me that your days are filled with nothing but parties, celebrations and other frivolity – you do not do much as a ruler, beyond bask in your own glory.

“But I raise the sun every day, and my sister Luna the moon,” you would no doubt defend your position by saying, and I would point out that this was a sham. Anypony with a telescope could tell you this. It’s called an ‘orbit’ milady – try to keep up with the times. And as for the moon, it’s always in the sky; it’s just not as noticeable during the day, much like your sister.

You are attempting to take credit for a natural phenomenon and the vast majority of the populous is falling for it, but not I.

Not I.

And where are your parents? You and Luna are both Princesses – by definition suggests a king and/or queen and yet there is neither glimpse nor word of them. You never mention them, nor is anything written of them in any book concerning the royal lineage and this distresses me.

Perhaps you and your sister have skeletons in your respective closets? Skeletons wearing royal finery?

Finally, for one who is supposed to be the ruler and guardian of this land, you do a rather shoddy job of it. In fact you have shucked off this duty to six mares who you then work to the bone ‘protecting the lands from evil,’ secure in the knowledge that you can just recline on your rainbow-tailed bottom until the report of their victory comes in. And do they get paid for this? Do they have job security? For that matter, do they even get a dental plan?

I’m willing to bet the answer is no.

And the one time – the one time you actually did something yourself by confronting Chrysalis, she soundly kicked your ass, forcing your own niece and her newly married husband to pull said ass - along with the asses of everypony else - out of the fire.

Face it, your highness – as a ruler you leave a great deal to be desired.

A great deal.

And while you could, were you to find me, ‘send me to the moon’ (no doubt a euphemism for ‘assassinate,’ carried out by one of your 'royal guards', who are likely members of a wetwork team hiding in plain sight), you should know that there is more than one copy of this letter in circulation and several have read and/or heard the contents, even members of your own staff. So be certain in the knowlege that for every one of my followers that is found, three more will appear. If you’re willing to ‘send to the moon’ random ponies in the hopes you will get us all, Equestria will likely become a very quiet place.

I request – no, I demand that you and your sister stand down from your positions, admit to the hoax you have been pulling for the decade or two in which you’ve been ruling (‘Thousands of years old’? Yet another lie!), release the six poor mares you’ve enslaved from their indentured servitude and finally throw yourself upon the mercy of the country.

I have no doubt you’ll dismiss this letter and contents as the ravings of a deranged mind, but believe me when I say that should it become necessary, I am willing to take measures to topple your throne of lies.

Be warned.

XXX

Comments

[SuperGiantRobot]

4305138
Its in haiku format. It basically tells of how the six had to go their own ways eventually.

[SuperGiantRobot]

4305173 Like I said - a play on words like Poison Joke. Perhaps I'll pull it and do some editing.

[SuperGiantRobot]

4305190

Yes but it's not noticeable magic, like an actual spell or anything. No earth pony thinks to themselves 'I'm doing magic here', they just go on being earth ponies.

[Themaskedferret]

4305202 This feels like a hollow argument as we don't know that for sure. It's entirely possible when they're moving a heavy load they're tapping into their innate magic and ditto for growing things.

As well by your argument, pegasi have no magic since they don't have visible magic when they fly. Birds can do the same thing but aren't considered magical. Yet pegasi are said to have weather magic.

If you're stating magic only as "it has a visible aura" then yes unicorns are the only ones with magic, but I feel that's not accurate to the show, which espouses balance between all three.

[Themaskedferret]

4305148 Fair enough, still standing by my statement of I'm not comfortable commenting on poetry.

[SuperGiantRobot]

4305226

Oh, then you won't know what to do with The Ballad of the Two Sisters'...

[Themaskedferret]

4305236 I'm okay with that

[SuperGiantRobot]

4305241

The first part alone took two or three months to write.