what happens when a ps3 has the ability to play games with a certain princess in another universe? (my first story ever. so your comment will decide the fate of this story.)
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Exvius
Joined 8th Jul, 2013 ·
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The grammar and spelling is terrible, and this actually works in the fics favor when you consider that is the general speak of CoD players.
4119714 thank you for your input sir i look forward to future comments :D ill let u know this i the fist thing ive ever written other than a class assignment.
4119722 Just a heads up bro, we ALL use that excuse for our first fic, and to warn you in advance it never works, most likely, critics much more harsh than me are going to come to this fic, and tear it apart,
But if anything, just take the criticism to heart, and you will probably flourish as a writer
4119766 thx bro. and i think i should write about another topic next time i guess. other than that i look forward to criticism.
Interesting....fave and like
4119947 thx friend ^^
Random thought. If you ever re-write this, make the system a pre-release PS4 that was sent to select testers. Then you can write off the inter-dimensional communication as a glitch. XD
4121359 ha. yeah maybe
Concept of the story is different, only seen one like it once before, if your gonna continue writing this story try being more descriptive, like what map their playing on and what CoD their playing would help the reader to get a better picture of whats happening, need some work on the grammar and spelling, try getting a prereader or editor. Try to come up with a reason for Jake to be able to connect to the Equestian servers and how the games are compatible, even a cliche reason like,"I won this console off a gypsy so it is magical", this wont get you any more fans of the story, it might even attract some haters if you use a cliche reason, but a reason is better than none at all. One last tip, in future chapters try to give Jake more character, what sort of lifestyle does he live? even just an explanation of the condition of his room or who is in his family would help. Also, since this is your first story try to stick to 3 main characters, prevents the need invent persona's for multiple characters and will help keep your ideas on track.
4142470 thx for the advice bro. i'll need it.
The PS Triple I ain’t talking bout that wii