12) Lesson Loyalty
While Spike surprisingly didn't show symptoms of a cold and got better by the next morning, Discord, equally surprisingly, got worse. It wasn't anything that required hospital treatment but it was bad enough that the unicorn very sternly dared to forbid him from going out for just one day, convinced he was going to be much better by the time evening came if he rested.
"Oh, I get to be grounded now, too!" He sarcastically started. "Well if that is so, give me one good reason I couldn't fly out of here this instant."
Patient as she could be, Twilight decided to explain she didn't mean to specifically forbid him from anything when she used that word. "If you truly want to go out though, being in the shape you're in, you'll collapse due to exhaustion. Not to mention you have a fever. The best you can do is sleep and rest up."
Despite his protests, yammering and generally being as grumpy as he was old, he did spend the whole day lying in front of the fireplace, sipping gallons of tea Spike was making for him and occasionally napping. Now that he was silent and sleeping most of the time, Twilight could happily indulge in her studies. It was kind of mean to think of his illness as as opportunity to catch up with her studies but the Spirit was taking up a lot of her time lately. In comparison, the day truly felt calm, which she hadn't had in a while. Of course, once all the studying was done she had to dedicate her evening to the draconequues, who by the end of the day felt infinitely better (Twilight wondered if it was possible he had been curing himself in his dreams to have gotten better so soon) and to Spike who was very eager to spend some time with her, having gotten used to spend evenings doing something fun instead of working on reports.
However, much to Spike's disappointment, the mare announced she had plans.
"Actually, I promised my friends we'll have a sleepover, all six of us. We rarely get together by ourselves anymo-"
"You won't be missing out on anything. From what I heard, mares do the silliest things on sleepovers."
Deciding not to admit he more than once took a part in such and similar activities, Spike decided on another approach: "But why can't you have a sleepover here?"
"Well we were going to, since my place is most suitable - the Cakes are often too busy to allow Pinkie a sleepover or a party at the Sugar Cube Corner, Rarity doesn't even consider bringing any party materials in her shop, Rainbow lives in the sky and we're all kind of worried if cloud walking spell wears off, Applejack's grandma goes to sleep early and Fluttershy can't imagine the noise near all of her animals. But I didn't want to bother Discord since he's ill, so we settled for sleeping in Applejack's barn."
"There? How can you have a sleepover in a barn?" Spike arched an eyebrow, ignoring the Spirit who snickered at their misfortune.
"It is not that bad..."
"Twilight, I can see your facial expression, you know. The mere thought makes you uncomfortable."
"Well-- it may not be the most comfortable place but they're my friends and I don't get to see them often lately! I'd spend time with them even if it were in a sewer." Twilight stated, not precisely sure just how truthful or not that statement was.
"Well, Discord is fine now, as you can clearly see, so there's no need not to have a sleepover here."
Before Twilight could say she rather wouldn't risk the Spirit's health for her own fun, the Spirit suddenly started being dramatic, which was definitely the biggest mistake he could have made.
"Oh goodness me, I need rest! No, no sleepover in Twilight's library I'm afraid, I am simply terribly, terribly ill!" The draconequues whined, feigning being sick as he dramatically raised his hand to his forehead and lied down.
"I can't believe you!" Twilight exclaimed. "You'd really feign being sick just to spite me?"
"Not to spite you, darling but because sleepovers are just a tad bit too girly for my tastes. I put my foot down the moment somepony starts doing another pony's hair."
"Oh is that so? Spike, could you go and give girls the message? We are having a sleepover at the library! Just get in touch with Pinkie Pie, she should be able inform everyone in a second." Twilight stated stubbornly, ignoring the exasperating sigh that escaped the Spirit.
"Oh come on! You're doing that on purpose now!" The Spirit rebelled as Spike hurriedly left the library.
"Well, you feigned being sick to spite me - revenge is sweet." Twilight cut him off with a satisfied smile.
Mumbling something incoherent, Discord slithered out from underneath the warmth of his blanket and approached the unicorn as she opened up a book (of course). It didn't seem to be any sort of research and for a while he was silent, just watching her read.
"You can be so mean sometimes, Twilight Sparkle."
"I can?" She blinked. "Well, I learned from the best, I suppose?" She grinned.
"Hmm, quite right. I guess you give as much as you receive."
A page paused in the air.
"Whatever do you mean by that?"
Discord fumbled with a splinter on the table edge before giving her a playful look.
"Exactly what I said. Don't you understand your own language?"
"Discord." Twilight deadpanned.
"What? I meant what I said, if you can't understand it, it is YOUR problem." He playfully said.
"Ah, you're impossible to talk to!... I can't concentrate on the book with you talking nonsense to me!" She shook her head and pushed away the Lord of the Things.
"Oh, goodie, we can do something then!"
"Must we?"
"Oh please; you know as well as I do that you're having a blast with me!"
"I could say the same thing about you then!"
"No way! How so?"
"Well, you're the one who always wants to do something with me on the everyday basis! Not that I complain of course but you are! Even though you keep repeating I'm boring, I know you're having fun with me. At least I can say for certain that I'm worth that much in your eyes."
She interpreted his silence as pouting, not knowing he was in fact wondering why she thought so lowly of herself.
"Cut me some slack Discord, I'm trying to be humorous here." Inspired by their silly banter, she put a hoof on his cheek and pulled gently, as if trying to make him smile. "You shouldn't wear the mask of Chaos all the time." She blurted out, meaning to sound silly and poetic yet not realizing her words have hit a certain spot in Discord as he stared at her, doing his best to keep his surprise under control. Continuing to smile, she let go of him. "I mean, you're so much more approachable when you're relaxed. Remember how nopony was afraid of you or anything yesterday? They were hanging out with you, went along with your antics!"
The sweet smile she gave him only terrified him more. "Isn't that nice?"
Yes and I don't know when did it become so, Discord thought once he managed to arrange his thoughts properly. It would be impossible to describe to her how unfamiliar and strange and sometimes downright frightening the thought of the pony lifestyle seemed to him but figured now truly wasn't the time to discuss it.
So instead, like many times before, he went with being a goof and smile arrogantly. "Sure, why not. I guess it is nice." She laughed at it and it was exactly the simple reaction he was hoping for. He decided not to think of what she had said anymore. Taking in a deep breath to regain his usual composure, he suddenly went into a coughing fit, immediately erasing any remnant of laughter from her face.
"Hold on, I'll get you some tea!"
Discord didn't protest as she brought over the pot of fresh tea and a jar of golden honey to the table. Without even caring to take a cup, he grabbed the pot and drank from it, feeling the hot liquid soothing his throat. While his inappropriate action left Twilight startled for a bit, she quickly brushed it off and grabbed a generous spoonful of honey.
"Say 'aaah!" She teased.
"You better be kidding me." Discord replied, almost annoyed.
"It was just a joke, Discord. You're really not in the mood today, huh?"
She was way too playful this afternoon. Unfortunately, he seemed to like that side of her which, truth to be told, rarely popped out. It was very hard to resist her game of feeding.
"No." He replied simply, hoping she'd let it go. Why did he even hope she would?
"Well then, I guess it is the time for a feeding song."
"The what?"
With the expertise of the 1st grade filly, Twilight Sparkle started to recite an old children's rhyme.
"Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate,
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate,
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate,
So eat it!"
The worst thing was, it was kinda cute.
"Don't you tell me you're full,
Just eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more cheesecake, have some more pie,
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried,
Just eat it!"
He would have never hoped he would her her rhyme, let alone recite a poem. Heck, the thought itself was amusing; having the real thing doing it in front of him was basically priceless.
"Oh, fine fine, you deserved it through your little recital!" He replied through laughter - but decided he would let her have ti her way entirely. He decided to disgust her a little. With expertise of a French pony, he put out his overly long snake tongue and wrapped it around the spoon, taking in the honey with nothing but his tongue and sucking in the entirety of the poor utensil into his mouth.
"Eep!" Squealing in surprise, Twilight allowed the Spirit to have his spoon, staring in disbelief as he gave her the smuggest of looks, as if he had actually done something worthy of admiration.
"... Uh... Did you eat it?" She decided to check after several long seconds of staring at him, her tone half filled with digust.
Her answer came quickly as the Spirit once again stuck his tongue out, it wrapping around the now honey-free spoon.
"Thanks." He said as politely as he could, tongue sticking out of his mouth. Twilight made a face.
"Uh... No problem." Using her magic, she made the spoon reappear in the kitchen sink. An awkward silence ensued. Then Twilight snorted. "But you still ate it."
"Oh, shutty."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Twilight! We arrived, dear!" Rarity announced.
"Oh, just in time!" Spike hopped out of the kitchen to greet his crush, a cute apron tied around his waist. "We just finished making some homemade pizza for you guys, along with a few other treats!"
"Homemade pizza? That's the best kind!" Rainbow Dash happily rushed of into the kitchen, not even caring to greet the host.
"Look at her; actin' like she had never had pizza before. You'd have thought they was starving her at home." Applejack rolled her eyes, followed by a timid Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie bounced her way into the library, as cheerful as ever.
"I am. So. Excited! This is going to be so much fun! We'll play games, and gorge ourselves till we pass and watch a movie, and so so so much more! Not even necessarily in that order!"
"We know the drill by now Pinkie but yer just not gettin' tired of it, huh?"
"Nope!" The mare simply replied and bounced off, even more cheerful than before.
The five visitors made themselves comfortable as they lounged around in the library. Twilight and Spike had both been busy in the kitchen and told them they'd be done with the food in a few more minutes.
"Twilight? In the kitchen?" Applejack asked in disbelief, eyeing her friend who were equally surprised. "That pony can cook?"
"Why do you always assume that I can't cook?!" A faint question was heard from the kitchen, throwing them all into a laughing fit. Though, truth to be told, Spike did most of the hard work.
Fluttershy looked around as looking for something - or in this case, for somepony.
"Um, Spike, where is Discord? I, I heard he was sick so I brought something for his cough and..." The more she spoke, quieter Fluttershy got as she pulled out a small plastic red bottle and gave it to Spike; some of the few last words were inaudible but she spoke nevertheless. Pretending to hear it all, Spike waved his hand.
"He said that he felt better and wanted to catch some fresh air - he should be back soon but I'll let him know."
"Food is ready!" Twilight announced as she brought in a big square platter with the most colorful pizza on it; topped with dandelions, daisies, mushrooms and some hay, sinking in lots of tomato juice and cheese. Rainbow Dash eyed the pizza as if it were the first time she ever saw such culinary beauty.
"Watch out for that tongue of yours Rainbow, or it'll fall out!" Pinkie Pie teased.
"Hey; I had a long day of practice and didn't eat almost anything! I think I deserve a piece of pizza and I'll drool over it all I want." Rainbow Dash finished playfully and opened wide to take a bite of pizza. She was unpleasantly surprised when instead of juicy, crusty, cheesy beauty, she bit into thin air.
"W-what? Where is- Oh gosh, not the cider thing all over again!"
"Don't worry Rainbow Dash, that's just Discord playing around." Twilight explained.
"How come doesn't he show up?" Pinkie Pie looked around expectantly, hoping to see him appear suddenly.
"I don't know..." Twilight replied a bit absentmindedly, "... I guess he considers this amusing."
"Well, never mind him, then! Enjoy the pizza, Discord! More power to ya!" Rainbow said out loud to the Spirit and took a new piece. Soon the room was filled with sounds of their chatting and soft laughs as Spike tried to show pictures of the time Discord summoned him a big, manly beard to Rarity. As expected, she wasn't very impressed.
Soon enough Discord himself appeared but this time he didn't seem to have a need to cause a scene or ruckus of any sort. He quickly hid beneath a fat blanket and took a light nap in front of the fireplace. He wasn't going to stay asleep for long, though.
After they somehow managed to finish three huge platters of pizza (mostly thanks to Rainbow and Applejack, who somewhere along the way started an eating contest with Pinkie being the judge and somehow, somehow winning), Rarity excitedly declared she wanted all of them to do each others mane. Applejack was already used to this, even kinda enjoying having someone touch at her hair - Rainbow Dash on the other hand, was a whole different story.
"Come now darling, just look what I did with Fluttershy's gorgeous mane!" Rarity gasped as she stared at the yellow Pegasus, having made her long pink cut into many long, thin French braids. The edgy manestyle didn't quite suit her soft persona but it did look good on her.
"Ah' know it seems silly Rainbow - trust me, I know better than anyone - but it's actually a bit fun when keepin' it simple. Comfy, even." Applejack remarked as Spike did his best to turn her mane into two equal pigtails, which with her bushy, thick hair wasn't that easy.
"Nuh-uh, no way. There is nopony that could ever make me agree on a silly manecut!"
"Rainbow Dash, you poor, innocent soul." Twilight shook her head. She didn't even need to look to know Discord was already wide awake, and indeed, there he was, standing behind the colorful Pegasus with a most wicked grin.
"Did somepony say 'silly manecut'?"
Rainbow Dash turned to look at him and saw his fingers, ready to snap his fingers.
"... Oh, for Pete's sake."
One signature click later, Rainbow Dash was presented to her friends with a rainbow colored afro. The outburst of laughter was loud enough to shake the foundations of library. Even Rarity, temporarily forgetting of her ladylike manner, practically howled at the ridiculous sight.
"Get me a mirror!" Dash demanded, frustrated, to which Discord readily replied with summoning one. A stare of horror Dash gave to her reflection turned into a grimace before she too started to laugh as well.
"Hey, I guess this can be fun, after all! Now do one for Rarity!"
"Heavens, no!" Rarity gasped in horror but there was no escaping it - a click of fingers was all that was necessary for her mane to turn into a short, round bob - which wouldn't be so bad if it weren't the colour of a carrot.
"Orange?!? Why orange of all colors?!"
"Because I was kind enough not to make it green." Discord replied, stunning the fashionista.
"How did you know I dislike green mane?!"
"He knows a lot of things." Twilight rolled her eyes, not expecting to say that in unison with the Spirit: "I know a lot of things."
Their ready and identical replied caused a short, interested pause but it didn't last long, all of them successfully distracted by the sight of pink mustaches on Fluttershy. Discord quickly became the life of the sleepover, testing more awful mane styles on a now pretty playful pack of mares. After they threatened to tickle-fight him into giving them their original manes back (he very quickly complied), they sat down to munch on some snacks and put on a lame horror movie that they didn't really watch as much as they were commenting on how stupid it was, chatting along the way.
Somewhere next to her, Twilight could hear, Rarity started a conversation some of them were both eager or uneasy to have.
"So, girls! What is it that I hear about some of you having a specific kind of interest in specific ponies of Ponyville?"
The reactions were obvious; Fluttershy immediately hid behind her long mane and Applejack bit her lip. Pinkie Pie on the other hand replied readily: "You mean a special somepony? Nope, no such thing! But that's okay, I don't need nopony as long as I have you guys!"
Twilight laughed; being an egghead she always was, she felt obligated to reply since she knew a bit on that subject.
"It is nice of you to say so but there will probably come a moment you'll wish for somepony to share your life with in a bit more intimate and romantic way. Like..." Twilight paused for a second to think, "...somepony who will be there every morning when you wake up to make you company. Somepony who will do things with you no matter what it is; like, if either one of you hates it, you'll still enjoy it because of the company. Somepony who can share their private thoughts with you with no fear or shame; things like that, you know?"
The unicorn munched on some more snacks but as suspicious silence filled the room, she broke the stare from the movie, and realized all of them, including Discord, seemed surprised by her response.
"How do ya know so much about that stuff?" Rarity asked in a curious tone, eyes sparkling immediately. Twilight waved her hoof, realizing what they just concluded.
"No, no you guys, I don't have anypony special; I think that is just pretty much what everypony is wishing for in their partner. At least that's what I think I would want someday."
"A mare can talk like that only out of experience my dear." Rarity sneakily replied, despite what Twilight had said. She was starting to feel a bit uneasy already, when Applejack jumped to the rescue.
"Now y'all; don' bother her with your assumption. Besides, Rarity, if ya brought the subject up, ya obviously have something to say about it." She wisely noticed; and indeed, Rarity gained a crimson shade all over her face that immediately attracted the attention of Pinkie Pie and Twilight was soon left alone.
"Thanks Applejack; for a moment there I thought I will never hear the end of it." Twilight sighed as Rarity was overwhelmed with Pinkie's much too curious - and sometimes too intimate - questions.
"No problem, sugar cube. Now Ah'll bother the hay out of her, for bothering you." Winking at her, Applejack along with very curious Pinkie Pie started to bombard Rarity for details, which was particularly funny as Twilight knew Applejack wasn't the type to be curious about these things at all. Rainbow and Fluttershy were both aside, one of them slightly disgusted, while the other one too shy to discuss such matters.
"I can't believe it." Twilight heard soft muttering and looked to her side - Spike was staring at Rarity with a disbelieving look on his face.
"Oh Spike, don't sulk now."
"But, Rarity... She... She-"
Twilight simply had to say something. "You never know, she might be talking about you." Twilight's word gave the small dragon a new sense of hope; he quickly rushed over to eavesdrop on Rarity's shy descriptions.
"You make me wanna puke." The draconequus commented. "Is this really what you girls do? Talk about your crushes instead of watching this magnificent piece of movie?"
"Huh?" Twilight arched her eyebrows on Discord's question and glanced at the film - it was in the middle of a scene where a pony was escaping through the dark words. "Magnificent? It is the cheesiest horror ever made!"
"I find it unbelievably entertaining. Just look at all the weird things this monster does to these poor ponies! Forests nbeing cute down. Bif monsters with light spewing out of their eyes! They even eat pigs! Imagine that! I mean seriously, just what kinda of loony mind made this movie?"
"A poor mind with no sense of realistic approach to a horror movie and obviously no taste." Twilight put in her own two cents. Still, she joined Discord in viewing the movie, having fun going against Discord's logic with her own despite the fact the movies was an utter bore. By the time it was over, Rarity was long done with her story and instead used the creepy movie soundtrack as a theme music for a scary story of her own.
"And once she opened the box... inside she found... cotton."
"What? Cotton? What about it?" Fluttershy asked in confusion. The unicorn sighed.
"I specifically said there was silk in the box, silk! NOT cotton! Imagine a dress for the Gala of nothing but cotton; ugh, the mere thought is dreadful!" She shivered.
"Seeing how horror is obviously not your forté, my dear, how about I tell you all a scary story? I happen to be quite a master of the spoken word, even if I do say so myself." Discord suggested.
"Please do," Rainbow Dash moaned, "Rarity here has a scary storytelling potential of a sponge."
"I say..." Rarity muttered but settled down for the story anyway.
"Well then, gather round, little ponies, for I want to share a undeniably truthful story with you, the greatest of horrors that had ever happened on the Equestrian territory! Naturally, that calls for a slight change of ambiance..." With those words, the room got dark as Discord magically put out the light. The frightened gasps stopped once Discord summoned a small, blue flame that hung in the air.
And then he started doing what he was best in - narrating a rhyming story but with a voice so dark and so different it was chilling to the bone, the flame throwing an eerie light, making his already mismatched face that much weirder.
"There was once a pony, white as the snow
at least I think it was a pony, who would ever know.
But it was a very unique pony indeed,
Always wearing a tie and a black suit of tweed."
He paused for suspention; Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy had already squeezed next to each other one with a bit more of an excited glint in her eye than the other one while Rarity, who was tense like never before, clutched Spike firmly to his chest, most likely not even noticing she was gently suffocating the little dragon. (he didn't mind.)
"You see, this pony had none of its mane,
had a rich white tail but head not the same.
Nopony knew if that pony was sick,
or if somepony else took his mane slick.
But that's not what made the pony special at all.
The difference it owned was not quite that small.
What made it different was something like a spell,
for this pony's face...", he paused dramatically,
"...was just an empty shell."
For what seemed like barely a second, Discord's face disappeared, leaving nothing but a flat white surface - that second was enough to startle everyone and make them gasp, while Fluttershy barely suppressed a scream.
"No eyes or nose, mouth or teeth,
its face was just a white empty heath.
Nopony knew what was with that,
many suspected it was a curse of somepony's wrath."
At this point, Spike already turned blue, so Twilight had to warn Rarity about it with a poke of her hoof. However she herself proceeded to gently squeeze his arm.
"And to this very day,
that pony is looking for somepony to pay.
For the disappearance of its gorgeous face,
somepony must take the grave's place.
And a rumor it is, that at this time of year,
it visits Ponyville and sheds around fear!"
"Pff, yeah right." Rainbow Dash's whisper was audible to everyone, but her suspicion didn't make anypony anymore relaxed - especially when the draconequus chuckled quietly, sinisterly, at it.
"Oh Rainbow dear, believe me, you must...
For it is said it comes first after those with no trust."
Even Rainbow had to gulp at this point.
"That is how the story goes," Discord continued, stopping the rhyme and taking on a different attitude, seemingly confused and concerned, "that the faceless one lies hidden in the home of one of the Elements of Harmony. It is forgotten where it was..." Discord pretended to think while by now positively scared to death ponies squeezed each other in a huge hug.
"Oh... Oh! Oh goodness, oh no!" He suddenly stood up dramatically, his legs and torso the only thing visible as his flame flickered faintly and his long neck disappeared in the darkness.
"It is said... it resides in the house of the Element of..."
And then he stared down at them.
"...Magic!"
Discord's head was no more, and a blank faced pony stared them down.
Screaming at the top of their lungs, six mares and Spike scattered around the library, hiding wherever they could in matter of a few second. Everything went silent. Discord didn't return the lights; instead, he sang eerily, loud enough for all of them to hear:
"Come out, come out, wherever you are,
the faceless pony is not that bizarre.
it just wants some friends, somepony for play,
but if you keep on hiding, where you're hiding, you'll stay."
He laughed wickedly as his rhyme ended. Silence surrounded the room as nopony dared to come out.
"Nopony is brave enough to face the guilt?
Then in your hideouts you'll stay, for you only rebuilt!"
Twilight almost cursed when basket started to change around her, tightening around her. She tried to struggle and yell out but was too shocked to do so. Having no idea what was going on, she relaxed and let whatever was happening happen.
Then she felt air on her skin and saw brightness on her eyelids and she opened her eyes.
The library was lit up and she was no longer in the basket. Her and all her friends were outside, observing Discord as he fought for the air he lost during laughing his lungs out.
"Wow, that sure was scary!" Giggling, Pinkie Pie jumped into Twilight's view and the unicorn then yelled out in surprise, suddenly realizing exactly what was so incredibly amusing. Pinkie was white from head to toe, her mane included, wrapped tightly in a white bed sheet... no in fact, both her her skin and mane became a sheet. Like she was made of cotton.
"Discord pulled a little trick on us with a final spell." Dash added - as Twilight glanced at her she noticed Rainbow's coat took on the pattern and hardness of red bricks that decorated her chimney - she must've hidden in there. Rainbow looked like a well assembled piece of fillies' playing blocks.
"That..." Twilight looked at her legs - she was made out of stiff, wooden fibres. She didn't know whether should she be impressed by such magic, horrified by her appearance or happy that the whole thing was over. "That is pretty impressive." She finally decided, studying Fluttershy's skin that was now papery, as she hid inside one of the shelves among her books.
Rarity, who took on an interesting pattern of wood Twilight's closet was made of, studied her skin with a certain interest. Spike, bearing the same skin, was right next to her, having apparently hidden with her in the dark closet. "This would make quite a fancy dress pattern."
"Come on, Discord," Applejack, with her skin of plastic, having hidden in a cupboard in the kitchen, tried to pull Discord, who had by then been doubling over on the floor, to his feet, "enough of this, I want my old skin back."
Shedding the last few tears of laughter, the Spirit clicked his fingers, drawing relaxed sighs from ponies.
"Now wasn't that fun?" He finally asked and once they calmed down they had to confirm they had yet to hear a story as scary as that one.
"All this action made me sleepy. I don't know about you but I think I'm gonna crash." Rainbow concluded, stretching her wings.
"You can say that again; this fuss has made me tired." Rarity agreed and soon all of them decided to go to sleep.
Discord was kind enough to offer a better spot to sleep for all of them and with the help of his magic turned Twilight's bedroom into what practically became a single huge bed where at least ten ponies would fit comfortably.
"Made it from the clouds but I enchanted them, so you can all walk on them - it is definitely one of my dearest materials, they are just so--"
"Plush?" Rainbow interrupted, suddenly remembering Discord's lounging on a cloud in the labyrinth. Discord gave her but a knowing smile.
"Oooh, bouncy!" Pinkie Pie took her sweet time in testing the bounciness of the bed, only stopping once the Spirit tripped her. It took them quite some time before they finally settled down but once they did, they fell asleep quickly.
But Twilight Sparkle couldn't sleep. She stared at the ceiling, still excited and happy about what a wonderful night this had turned out to be. After she lay asleep for almost an hour, she suddenly felt her stomach rumbling and realized that despite the amount of leftover pizza, she didn't eat much of it during the evening. Slowly and quietly she got up, watching not to step on Pinkie's mane and avoiding Discords' tail, as he crashed on the bottom of the huge bed and went down the stairs - in the darkness, she didn't see a corner of the wall and bumped her hoof strongly against it and cursing quietly.
She did not turn on the light, enjoying the natural faint shine of Luna's full Moon. A cold pizza lay there. Heating up would be to much work at this time of night, she thought. Then she got an idea - hot sauce.
She was about to head into the kitchen, when she noticed the red bottle on the table. "Time to spice it up!" She laughed at her own terrible pun. Pouring generous amount of sauce on it, she bit into the meal and nearly choke when the voice of the Spirit came right from behind her.
"Can't you keep your voice down?" He yawned as he clicked his fingers, casting a barrier over her bedroom so her friends could sleep in silence.
"Oopsh, shorry. Ah wash jusht ahmushin' mshef."
"What?" Discord arched an eyebrow as he approached her, swiftly grabbing a pizza slice and eating it in one gulp. Twilight swallowed and repeated: "I said, sorry, I was just amusing myself." She smiled.
"I can only imagine." Discord rolled his eyes as he sat next to her, already eating his third piece.
"So," Twilight started as she herself bit into a second slice, "did you enjoy yourself tonight?"
"Heh," Discord chuckled, "you should know you don't have to ask me such things anymore."
Twilight shrugged. "It is nice to hear it from you every once in a while."
"You ponies and your words." Discord remarked as he tried to pick out a piece of cheese form in between his teeth. "It was a lot of fun, if you simply must know; I haven't used chaos in such a creative and amusing way for some time already."
A memory of a world he conjured a few days earlier while drunk flashed across Twilight's mind but she ignored it. They spent several minutes feasting on the leftovers. "Gosh, this sauce sucks!" The pony suddenly said much louder than the Spirit would have expected her to and, to his further surprise, grabbed the sauce bottle and threw it against the floor.
"...It can't be that bad." He suggested a bit meekly. Instead of a reply, he received over the top, horribly loud and obnoxious laughter Discord didn't know she was capable of producing. Or was willing to.
"It is." She nodded briefly, sounding very confident. Then she started rolling all over the floor and kept laughing like, for a lack of better description, a complete lunatic.
"Twilight Sparkle, just what has gotten into you?!" Discord asked, not sure if he should be amused or concerned.
She just wasn't going to answer him, was she? Instead, she suddenly fell completely still, if not even rigid. "...Now that I think of it, that sauce only ruined my appetite." Twilight stopped, slowly got up on all her four legs... shaking legs.
Discord let out a loud gasp when she suddenly threw up.
"What the--?" Doing the first thing he could think of, he summoned her a glass of water but she kept refusing it, mumbling words 'too much'. Discord scanned the pizzas, needing only a second to realize the problem was not in them as all of them ate it, too - and then he remembered the red bottle Twilight threw to the floor. With a click of fingers, he summoned a small orb of light to help him see.
He picked the bottle up to check the expiring date, only to surprisingly realize it wasn't hot sauce at all. The white label read a lengthy description:
FLIP-FLOP INSTANT COUGH REMEDY
!! CAUTION !!
Take only A SINGLE teaspoon of medicine with drinkable liquid PER DAY. Bigger amounts can cause potentially dangerous symptoms that vary from one individual to another; known to cause sudden mood swings, fevers, purging, headaches, shivers, hallucinations etc.
Drinking more than half of the bottle can result in permanent or long lasting loss of consciousness.
Do not consume any food three hours before or after taking medicine.
"...Whoever Flip-Flop is, he better expect a stern letter. An explosively stern letter.?!" Discord growled, suddenly angry. He tried to think which next to the pony who was momentarily occupied with talking to an invisible pony wasn't really easy.
Think, think damn it! What spell could possibly help her?!
It hit him then that he never in his entire life used any kind of healing magic.
"Bloody Chaos!" He cursed his own powers, or better said, the lack of them, feeling he was starting to panic.
Behind him, Twilight started sobbing for no particular reason. That's where the draconequus suddenly got serious and knew what to do.
Without wasting another second, he took her into his arms and brought her to the bathroom. While it definitely wasn't pleasant, he helped her throw up in the toilet with some magical help of his own, hoping it would get at least some of the toxins out of her system. That seemingly calmed her down a bit but he knew she needed professional care. He grabbed her in his arms and clicked his fingers.
Nurse Redheart screamed when the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony suddenly appeared in the hospital lobby.
"D-D-D--You!" She finally managed.
"I'm sure you're amazed but this pony need intensive care, now!" He blurted out, ignoring her frightened stare as he put Twilight down - the mare was heavily sweating and shaking. The nurse immediately caught her cool and approached Twilight whose breathing was quick and shallow.
"She drank a lot of this." He pushed the bottle into Redhearts' hooves. Upon seeing the label, the nurse turned even paler than her coat was.
"Doctor! Doctor, we have an emergency!" She ran into an office and dragged the elderly pony out. It took him a second to eye the bottle and Twilight, taking in Discord's appearance with barely a bat of an eye and immediately called for nurses who took Twilight away. Discord followed them and nopony dare to say anything about it.
The unicorn had lost consciousness and the nurses quickly started working on her, two of them working with some spells Discord never saw before, thus having no idea just what was going on and the third one preparing some strange machine that, Discord noticed with a certain discomfort, looked a bit menacing. Deciding he really did not want to see what was going on, yet wanting to be of help, he realized there was one thing he could do Closing his eyes and clicking his signature click, he disappeared.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Oh dear, oh dear! What is going on, where am I? Why is everything so weird? Why is everypony spinning? Wait, where is everypony for that matter? They were here moments ago! Oh, there they- why are they shapeshifting?! Oh for the love of Equestria, why is everything upside down?!"
Twilight wandered her own hallucinating mind as the world span, turned upside down, changing colors and shapes, completely rebuilding itself over and over again in seconds and crumbling down just as fast, followed by so many random sounds, some of them long forgotten words, some of them never heard songs, the noises that seemed to be from another world.
"Vertigo! Vertigo everywhere!"
♪ It wasn't your hair, that bounces in the breeze or even your eyes, as blue as the seas... ♪
Cyber Ponies-hahahaha!
♪ I mean are you supposed to be a dentist, or are you supposed to be a time lord... ♪
"You... are going to LOVE ME!"
Oh no, it's the Bro! Chair mode activated, boop!
Hey Twilight? Do you like, mmmm, BANANAS? 'Cause there's plenty of bananas- ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!
Twilight was suddenly shot through the air as countless images passed her by and landed on the moon, quite literally, where she was greeted with an awkward scene of Luna drinking tea and wearing a top hat. Before she managed to say anything, Luna eyed her and produced a mustache on her nose.
"Surely, you don't mean to defy my 'stache?" She said with a distinct Canterlot accent. And then she disappeared.
Oddly enough, everything went calm and silent. The world didn't shift or change anymore and she could even feel a breeze on her face. Finally rid of the colorful and almost sick imagery that flashed painfully before her eyes, she felt less sick than before and took a big breath of air.
"Just what is going on?"
Then, somewhere in the sky, a star shined slightly stronger... and grew bigger. Soon enough, it was no star or asteroid but Discord that started falling towards her, for some reason not being able to stop himself and screaming at the top of his lungs and landed on the Moon a few feet away from her, leaving a deep print of his body in the Moon's ground. Pulling himself out, he coughed a few times as he shook his head to rid himself of the Moon dust.
"Discord? Are you alright?" Twilight asked as she offered him a hoof and helped him come out.
"Oh, I'm quite alright my dear. It is you who is not exactly pulled together." He managed.
"Discord, what is going on? Where am I? The last thing I remember before things got weird was you and I eating pizza! Did you do something?!" She finally asked angrily, then gasped as a thought occurred to her - what if he discovered his massive powers?!
But she let out a breath of relief when he answered: "No you silly, I didn't do anything. You are sick." He paused, then took a breath and told her exactly what happened, his story draining every single drop of blood from her face.
"I am so stupid! I shoud've noticed something, it was stupid of me to eat it without knowing what it was!" The pony scolded herself.
"It was dark, you couldn't see the label." Discord tried to console her but Twilight was overwhelmed with guilt.
"And what about my friends? Oh, I must have them so worried! I ruined the whole evening!"
"Well, actually, they are still asleep. I cast that spell earlier and forgot to remove i, and I didn't want to cause a ruckus and wake them all up. I'll tell them about it as soon as I make sure you're waking up some day."
"... Wait, it is that bad?!"
"Well, according to that bottle, it could be dangerous enough to put you in a coma." He growled. "But I think you'll be alright," he quickly added as he noticed a fright in her eyes, "since you haven't taken that much."
"Well that's a relief, I think... So wait, why are you here anyway? I mean, you don't seem like a hallucination."
"I figured you'd be a bit lost, so I came to make you company and put you at ease." Discord replied with a posture of a heroic knight on a white hor-- uh, never mind.
Twilight suddenly felt a weird, foreign pain in her stomach and throat - in fact her whole digestive system felt like it was twisting, and Discord noticed it.
"Speaking of which, I'm pretty sure they're pumping your stomach right now. Need a hand?" Twilight's face cringed painfully and she nodded, not knowing what else would it be, anyway, as the Spirit held her hoof. While she seemed to appreciate it, he knew it owuldn't help much. Realizing looking at her like that was as equally painful as cutting his own tail, he started distracting her with the only thing he knew would grasp the attention of a rational pony like her - nonsensical talk.
" ...You know, I'd have though we'd be treated a bit better, having come from a series predominantly for kids but this one just can't help pop-culture references, can they?"
"... I'm sorry, what?" Twilight managed, shooting him a confused frown.
"I'm just saying, no author does that anymore. Memetic horrors, allusions to famous people and songs - references? It is nearly shameful that a writer should reach to those just to be considered amusing, funny or entertaining. I mean it is perhaps a little bit interesting because it show just how bad of a taste they have but otherwise-"
"Discord, what in the whole wide world are you talking about? Am I hallucinating again?"
"No but I did my best to distract you - I think they're done with you."
The twicthes in her stomach were gone. The unicorn blinked.
"Oh, I see." Twilight simply replied. When she said nothing else, Discord asked, a bit frustratingly:
"Well, did it work?"
"Huh? OH!" Twilight laughed softly. "Yeah, that... that was quite an amazing thing you did there, actually. Thanks, Discord. Really, what would I do without you?"
"Hmm, probably be still indulged into your boring old researched of Parasprites' mating process or something."
"Were you digging through my things again?" Twilight asked suspiciously and he laughed, deciding not to tell her he in fact did. The unicorn stared up at the starry sky.
"You know, in any other situation, I would love this scenery."
"Can't you enjoy it now?" Discord wondered.
"No, because I think I'm waking up... or something. It feels weird, like I'm floating."
"Ah! You're slipping away from hallucinations and starting to dream. I'll leave you to your sleep then; you need it, trust me."
"Alright. Thanks again Discord." Twilight smiled sweetly as the world around her became fluffy and cloudy and Discord slowly disappeared from her sight. "You're a true friend."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Twilight!"
Voices of her friends made Twilight jerk, nearly tipping over her breakfast (which consisted of nothing but very light, barely salty soup). They all rushed over to her hospital bed, each of them trying to get a good look on her, asking countless questions and some of them looking particularly guilty.
"Whoa, whoa guys, calm down! I'm alright really. How did you know I was here, anyway?"
"Spike received a letter just about fifteen minutes ago - apparently Discord used him as a mailbox to inform us of everything that happened."
Huh, another spell he discovered he was capable of. Unsurprising, but slightly concerning.
"Oh Twilight, I am so, so sorry!" Fluttershy started, only to be interrupted by Spike: "No, it is my fault - I should've put the medicine where it belonged, in the cabinet!"
"Guys, guys! It is my, and MY fault only. I should've read the label."
"But-"
"I should. Have read. The label." Twilight firmly said, making any arguments of whose fault it was cease once and for all.
"Oh darling, I'm so glad to see you're fine. Rainbow Dash here nearly lost her marbles when we got the news."
"I was worried!" Rainbow defended, suddenly flustered but Twilight appreciated the concern.
"Thank you, guys. I know you're worried but really, I'm alright. The doctor said he only need to perform a few tests more just in case - I'll be going home by this afternoon."
"Oh, thank goodness." Applejack concluded, when Pinkie asked: "So, where is Discord anyway? That guy just keeps disappearing."
"I don't know, I haven't seen him since last night. He probably went outside to entertain himself or something."
The five mares and Spike kept talking to her and it almost looked as if they were about to relive the fun moments they had last night but then a nurse came in and chased them all away with an excuse of 'all the rest' Twilight had to get.
"There, Miss Sparkle; now you can finally catch up on your sleep!" The nurse stated, obviously thinking she did her a favor, and left Twilight alone in her room. The unicorn sighed, feeling a bit lonely... And bored. Not knowing what to do, she got out of the bed, and opened the window widely, letting the breeze carry the thin white curtains and refresh her tired eyes...
Next to her window stood a tall tree that didn't stand there before; it was apparently magically summoned, at least if it was to judge by it's bright colors and weird apples. On the tree branches, Discord slept deeply, barely even supported, only a small movement away from falling down.
"Oh, Discord..." Twilight smiled, feeling her heart beat a few beats quicker. Deciding she could return a favor at least a little, she took one pillow from her room and with a bit of magical help, summoned an extra branch that supported him much better; then she sneakily pushed a pillow underneath his head. A grateful snore escaped him.
Not really having anything else to do, Twilight simply stood there at the window, observing with a gentle smile the vile and mean Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony who spent the whole night being her guardian.
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I love this story so far. You captured the emotions in this chapter really well. The humor in this is also hilarious. All of the references made me laugh: Slendermane, PewDiePie, and so forth.
I can't wait to see all of the other ideas you have in store for this story!
Like a sir!
Did I catch a Slendermane reference? That is made of win that is.
And who would have thought... Discord of all...entities... displaying loyalty. How ironic that this story bears such traces of shipping... Dislight or TwiCord or whatever you call it... I am actually okay with them to be honest. I like the faint thread of romance... of real friendship, in this story. It truly is touching.
I watch for more... like the lighthouse on the coast I will be resolute in my patience. I will wait for this.
once again an excellent chapter
Bananas ON THE MOOOOOOOOOON
How did I not discover this sooner
only have one word for this chapter and that is awwwwww
though i did see a few spelling mistakes here and there
but was a great chapter so keep it up
477595
You certainly did, Sir, and boy am I glad to see pretty big number of people know of Slenderman - or in this case, Slendermane!
Well it is tagged romance, now is it not? xD But I was never the one to prefer the very direct type of shipping ( to try and be specific, I don't find a passionate kiss under the moonlight or a cute date or whatever very romantic, LOL xD I feel so stupid writing that, but I hope you get what I mean). As I said in the description, I'll see where the 'romance' goes as I write, since I don't plan the character's feelings in advance (nor do I think that's possible, at least not perfectly).
Thanks as always for a nice comment!
478038
i just love all the references you made this chapter, slendermane, one piece, pewdiepie and more.
478252
I had to take the chance to have fun with references while I could! :D I'm surprised to see how many bronies are PewDie's bros.
478277
is pewdiepie even a brony?
478279
He more than once stated he wasn't, but was OK with them, if my memory serves me well.
478282
i still love him,(ALL OF THE HOMO)
478284
Just because he ain't a brony doesn't mean he should not be loved, hahaha
All of them homo indeed... is what I would say if I were a man. xD But I get ya.
478287
/watch?v=4UScz7Ne3cI 07:06
478290
Crap! How could I have forgotten to put Yugioh Abridged as a reference?! >.< So... many... possibilities... T_T
Screw the rules... shut up Mokuba... green hair... attention duelists... SO MANY. ;_;
478343
and TFS
ghost nappa, muffin button, krillin pwn counter
478348
I shall keep these in mind for the next time Twilight wanders the unexplored chambers of her hallucinating mind. xD
478353
*tried to find pic but failed* i'll be waiting
478038 No need to thank me really... I don't do it for the praise. You're welcome and thankyou though, for taking the time to respond.
...
Believe me when I say that I avoid shipping like the plague as a rule of thumb but this... this is possibly the one exception.
is it weird that i just today saw the video on Knowyourmeme for slender man?
479930
It is a creepy coincidence. :D
" watching not to step on Pinkie's mane and avoiding Discords' tale"
Tale should be tail.
I KNEW the medicine would be important!I had myself a huge mental laugh at Twilight's hallucinations, especially "Vertigo, virtigo everywhere!" I understood a few references in there which made me happy, so as always, keep up the good work and I'll keep reading/ pointing out mistakes.
"One day, I will become the Pirate King! I will fine One--"
If I this is what I think it is, fine should be find.
" Discord feel right down from it, for some reason not being able to stop himself and screaming at the top of his lugns"
*fell and lungs.
"Discord, what is going on? Where am I? The last thing I remember before things got weird was you and my eating pizza! Did you do something?!"
#1, my should be me. #2, Twilight being a learned pony would say "you and I"
"Well, according to that bottle, it is dangerous enough to put you in coma. But I think you'll be alright,"
*in a coma
"Parasprite's mating process or something."
*parasprites's
483723
Holy Cannonballs, that is indeed a lot of mistakes. I need to stop writing while being tired as Hell. xD
Thank you kindly for all of your corrections.
WEIRD AL FOREVER!
That is all, more detailed commentary coming in a while.
478277 this way pewdie
ok stephano
Dear lord, I am LOVING this!
"Oh no, it's the Bro! Chair mode activated, boop!"
Oh my god I love you so much.
Slender Mane! I really like this story, and I think you've captured Discord's attitude perfectly. I'm trying to give him this kind of attitude in my story, but it's harder because the situation is a WHOLE lot worse.
ok ok i usally dont comment until the end of a story but THIS IS MY FAV CHAPTER! :D
i love it so much! X3
Haha! Michael Jackson's Beat It remix from Twilight? Nifty! Now pardon me as I laugh after realizing this.
ONE PIECE FTW!!!
478277 i would have said "Run Stephano! he's with the Barrels!"
487722 I heard you are a mmmm' beytch that likes mmmmm' five stars.
Well I know where you can get five stars,
on the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNN
BETCH
>mares do all of these stuff on sleepovers
>having been outside on the still chilly air
>I thought I will never hear the end of it
>that calls for a slight change of ambient...
>despite it's rich white tail
>Was Discords' song a threat?
>only stopping one the Spirit tripped her
>After she lay asleep for almost an hour, she suddenly felt her stomach rumbling and realized that despite the amount of leftover pizza, she didn't ate much during the evening
>avoiding Discords' tail
>I shoud've noticed something
>The doctor said he only need to perform a few tests
>Next to her window stood a tall tree that didn't stood there before;
>judge by it's bright colors
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Mr_Cake.png
>sipping gallons of tea
IMPERIAL a.deviantart.net/avatars/r/a/ragefaceplz.png
>Twilight was now without consciousness
Try saying "unconscious" instead of "without consciousness"
>"I say..." Rarity muttered
a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/h/theysayplz.png a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/r/transparentplz.png a.deviantart.net/avatars/u/s/usayplz.gif [img]a.deviantart.net/avatars/i/s/isayplz.jpg[/img]a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/r/transparentplz.png a.deviantart.net/avatars/w/e/wesayplz.jpg
>"Like a Sir." She said with a distinct Canterlot accent. And then she disappeared.
a.deviantart.net/avatars/l/i/likeasirplz.png
>Rainbow Dash here nearly lost her marbles when she read the letter
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png
477595 Disco Light(s) dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png
[youtube=cQNu29ghKas]
always watching, no eyes
always following
if you look, it takes you
NONONONONONONONONO!
you cannot run
help me!
please, leave me alone....
I've got a bunch of corrections for you here... I just couldn't let them slide anymore =3
--
"Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate,
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate,
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate,
So eat it!"
It was painfully familiar and horribly catchy. He found himself chuckling.
"Don't you tell me you're full,
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it,
Get yourself an egg and beat it!
Have some more cheesecake, have some more pie,
It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried,
Just eat it, eat it, just eat it, eat it!"
Chicken, not cheesecake.
--
Anytime you said "Home made", you can (and should) replace it with "homemade".
--
"Look at her; actin' like she never had pizza before." Applejack rolled her eyes, followed by timid Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie bounced her way into the library, as cheerful as always.
1. "...had a piece of pizza..."
2. "...by a timid..." or "...by the timid..."
3. I'd recommend using "ever" rather than "always".
--
"Oh, I'm so, so, SO excited we're all having a sleepover! It is going to be so much fun! We'll play games, and do each others hair and watch a movie, and so so so much more!"
I'll just redo it:
"Oh, I'm so, so, SO excited we're all having a sleepover together! It's going to be so much fun! We'll play games, do each other's hair, watch a movie, and so, so, so much more!"
--
Five visitors made themselves comfortable as they lounged around in the library, waiting for Twilight to appear - Spike informed them she was making some final preparations on the food and that she'll be there shortly.
-Remember to keep the word-tense the same throughout your sentences (clauses, to be more specific)!
The five visitors made themselves comfortable... And that she'd be there shortly.
--
Actually, would you mind terribly if I just went through the story and sent whole revised chapters to you via PM? Hell, I'm going to do that anyway, starting from the next chapter. I like helping. Gotta do it while I read it the first time or it isn't going to happen anytime soon
487722
You have no idea. My last comment wasn't nearly a tenth of them =3
Why didn't you have Rarity mumble something about the hash-slinging-slasher after somepony commented on her scary storytelling abilities, saying hers were akin to that of a sponge?
Weird AL reference FTW~!
----------
Dawwwwww
Poor twi,
but still dawwwwwwwww <3
I lost it at the hallucinations. My parents started looking at me weird and wondered if I was going insane.
Sheer brilliance, that.
WEIRD AL! HELL YEAH!
I have all his albums! THANKS!
But I have one complaint. Why the heck does everyone have a scary story involve Slenderman or a pony equivalent of him? He's not scary in the slightest, really. Have SOME imagination people, make your OWN monsters!
I'm sorry, but the line I took away from this was
"Rainbow Dash was presented to her friends with a rainbow colored afro."
because....
I'm so so sorry.
to make you company.
*coffee?
escaping through the dark words
*woods
Parasprites' mating process
It's funny 'cause they procreate asexually!
BWAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAAAA.....
weird al?!
i love his music!
you just made my day!!!!
and slender mane! i actually know him... and slenderman... who are the same entity... long story
Cyber Ponies--hahahaha! doctor whooves and assistant by the jamjar
One day, I will become the Pirate King! I will find One-- one piece, by eichiro oda
♪ I mean are you supposed to be a dentist, or are you supposed to be a time lord... ♪ colgate's quest, what kind of pony by acoustic brony
"You... are going to LOVE ME!" a night to remember, MLP season 1 finale, original concept by bonnie zacherle, newer version by lauren faust
Hey Twilight? Do you like, mmmm, BANANAS? 'Cause there's plenty of bananas ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!! princess molestia by mindless gonzo i beleive, you should realy give credit to the ones who make this, or at least link them, but that is my opinion
Research.
At.
Kind of worried if the cloud walking spell wears off.
I can't concentrate in my studies right now.
With the expertise of a French pony.
Off.
The more she spoke, the quiter Fluttershy got.
With a very colourful pizza on it. (British spelling for solour, don't mind me, personal preference)
In.
Later.
A click of his fingers was all that was necessary.
Reply.
Keep.
Twilights words gave the small dragon.
At. You also have a double space here.
By the time the movie was over.
Ambiance.
When the basket started to reform.
She.
To the surprise of the suddenly saddened Spirit.
Once.
Eat.
At.
And to the Spirit's surprise.
Composure.
Shaken by the appearence of the disturbing Spirit.
Signalling.
To perform a few more tests.
That wasn't there before.
Friendly advice, when Discord transported into the hospital, there was absolutely no need for an ambulance since an ambulance is used to transport patients to the hospital.
It would be a different matter if you said stretcher though because that is what the patient is put on to transport them faster and safely inside of the hospital.
Someone needs to animate discord telling that story
Hooray for more Doctor Whooves and Assistant References!
5655067 I would love to join the voice cast of an audio reading for this.