"Well... This is it."
"Yes, Luna, my sister. We put it off long enough. It simply can not go on like this. You agree, don't you?"
"Of course, after all that--I mean, I believe we made the right decision, yet... yet, I must admit... I am afraid."
The older of the two managed a gentle smile on her otherwise darkened, even sullen features.
"There is no reason to be afraid, Luna. This is the way it has to be. Otherwise, the more we put it off, the more it'll hurt in the long run."
The younger took an encouraging breath of air.
"You're right." Luna smiled. She gazed lovingly into her sister. "Thank you for giving me courage, Tia. Thanks to you... I know everything will be alright."
"I'll always be there for you, dear sister. Now... let's go."
The Princesses of Equestria, the two most powerful Alicorns known to pony kind took a deep breath and entered a stunningly sterile, well equipped room in one of the Canterlot buildings. An elderly pony with a Cutie Mark of a shiny white tooth looked up at his guests and gave them a teasing, parenting look.
"Miss Celestia!" His voice, not a lot unlike his sudden grin, was oozing with a dark sort of satisfaction. "I was wondering when I will see you again! Tut, tut, tut, you missed your last check up~ that is no good! You know what they say, a check up twice a year leaves your teeth in no fear!"
Celestia got noticeably uncomfortable as her dentist approached her. "R-right. I'm sorry." She smiled awkwardly. When he saw timid Luna hiding behind Celestia though, an obviously ominous grin decorated his face.
"Miss Luna~ I hear you haven't been at the dentist in quite a while! It has been, what, a couple hundred years? A millennium?! Good grief, let's check those royal teeth of yours, shall we?"
Ignoring the obvious lack of tact and the possible few chuckles she thought she heard, Luna took a deep breath as she sat in her seat, while the eager dentist himself searched through his instruments, humming a melody. At one moment, her eyes snapped wide open and she suddenly addressed Celestia:
"'Tia! Aren't we- isn't tomorrow the day- We are releasing Discord tomorrow, are we not?!"
Celestia blinked in confusion before lowering her face into her hooves, a small frown appearing. She had no idea how but somehow, with the excitement of the plan she and Luna came up with, she had managed to completely forgot the day came so fast.
"Goodness, I've completely lost track of the time, haven't I?" She sighed with a small frown. "I can't say I'm too surprised - knowing the draconequus and how bothersome he can be, it is not an oddity that he manages to stay so even while trapped in stone."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"I personally think the Princesses are making a huge mistake."
"Tomorrow?! What a sudden decision. But why?!"
"They only now cared to inform us?! I'm packing my things and getting out of here as soon as possible!"
Whether the Princesses intended for it to be known or not was a mystery but soon, all of Equestria knew what event was about to take place. Such and similar comments were heard everywhere, most of the ponies distrusting the idea of letting Discord roam around, even with carefully made plan that was supposed to go smoothly - freeing him, stripping him off his powers and giving him one last chance for redemption. The news was buzzing with comments reviews and articles, some of the praising the princesses' kindness, some suggesting their time for rule should come to an end - and, some more quirky articles, suggesting the Princesses were in fact working with the draconequus all along.
One specific purple unicorn, though, was excited.
"Twilight, are you insane?! How can you possibly look forward to Discord being free again? And you of all ponies! I would expect Pinkie Pie to be excited-"
"I AM excited!"
"--- well, yeah, my point exactly, but you, Twi?! What are you possibly looking forward to, the dancing buffalo?"
"Calm down, Rainbow Dash, I can explain!" Twilight responded, with an undoubtedly joyful smile on her face and even sparkier look in her often stern purple eyes.
Her friends were over at her place to discuss the big news that shook Equestria but also to hear something Twilight had to tell them. As she put it, 'she had a great surprise' for them.
"You see, there is so much I do not know about Discord and his species! I want to learn more about both the draconequus and of Discords' magical powers! He has all kinds of magic I never witnessed before; don't you think putting something about that down in a book could be worth it? This whole situation is just brimming with opportunities!"
Rarity clicked her tongue but said nothing - she, along with Rainbow Dash, was the most against the decision the Princesses made. Dash rolled her eyes and chuckled.
"Oh sure, like the Princesses are going to allow you to just stroll around with Discord, question him about his origins and let you two do your magic tricks together - don't you think the Princesses will have their hooves full with him and his stupid antics?"
"I doubt it~" Twilight said in a sing-along voice, as she finally prepared herself to tell her friends the big news.
"Discord is coming to live with me here in Ponyville! I will be the one taking care of him and making sure he causes no trouble!" Twilight finally informed them all of the big news with the most splendid smile she could pull off.
Dreadful silence filled the room.
Rarity did her well known dramatic faint but it was for real this time, falling straight into the hooves of completely stunned Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie, naturally, seemed eager to accept this news, what with the fond memories of the chocolate rain. On the completely different note, Applejack joined Rainbow Dash in uttering a single word of disbelief.
"...what?"
"You see, the Princesses are very busy and would have to take a lot of time from their royal duties to teach Discord our values. So, I immediately sent her a letter to tell her I would gladly-"
"WHAT?!"
Rainbow Dash's voice shook the walls of a quiet library. Spike fell to the floor from the ladder as he was packing some books for Twilight, bringing an avalanche of books with him; Pinkie Pie jerked, with a rather silly sounding scream of surprise leaving her mouth.
"Rainbow Dash, don't yell like that! You sent my heart into a pitter-patter!" She remarked. Rainbow Dash hardly paid any attention to her, glaring at a confused Twilight.
"What's the problem?!" Twilight asked; the clueless pony wasn't expecting such a raging outburst.
"What is the p-- uh, Twilight, what were you thinking?! Discord, here, in Ponyville? Have you forgotten how good of a thing that was the last time? He is going to make our lives a living Hell!" Dash continued, Applejack eagerly confirming her words with numerous nods, unable to say anything more. But Twilight just giggled like a school filly.
"Oh come on guys, the Princesses know better than that! They will take away his powers, of course! They worked hard on this ancient spell that allows them to lock his magical potential while he's weak enough; and he can't get any weaker than being set into stone, right? Even if he decided to cause some trouble, I will be able to easily subdue him with my magic if I need to; Discord will be as tame as a kitten."
"Let's just hope he's not like a certain cat I know." Spike mumbled as he got out of the pile of books, which earned him a stern look from Rarity.
Rainbow Dash was still suspicious, which Twilight understood; after all, the colorful pegasus was quite fiery when it came to her friends. Twilight had a feeling Dash wanted to get the things between Elements of Harmony and Discord even once and for all; but that chance was taken away from her when the Princesses decided to free him. For all Twilight knew, it probably felt like a slap in the face to Dash.
"I could really use your support here girls; I am really, really looking forward to this, well, 'project'. I mean who knows, if it goes well with Discord, we might all even become... well... we might become friends."
While Twilight did expect a reaction, the disbelieving looks on her friends' faces kind of hurt. But then, to everypony's surprise, Fluttershy stepped out and quietly said:
"Twilight is right. Maybe Discord should get another chance now that we showed him the power of friendship, even if he was a... a big meanie. After all, every living creature should get their chance to ask for forgiveness - even if it takes a while, we should give him a chance to truly express himself."
Twilight nodded happily, not understanding how she could for even a second doubt that Fluttershy will help her; the Element of Kindness was on its full display as Fluttershy promised Twilight to be there with her.
"Well, I suppose we should make an effort and hope that brute turns into more or less of a proper gentleman. As long as his powers are restrained, of course." Rarity finally gave in. Applejack shrugged.
"Twi, Ah sure do not like what yer doin' but Ah guess I'll have to trust ya. Yer my friend after all, and Ah'll support ya all the way." She finished with a smile.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and threw her hooves into the air, resigning.
"Being the Element of Loyalty, I suppose you guys know what my opinion is." She sighed, clearly annoyed, but not being capable of hiding a small smile.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Good day, Elements of Harmony. It is wonderful to see you all again." Celestia greeted them, with Luna closely by her side.
"It is an honour to see you." Luna spoke, sounding as formal as ever, as they entered the royal gardens of Canterlot and made their way towards the familiar statue.
The mane six and the royal Princesses soon stood before the stoned Discord, alone. They decided what they were doing here wasn't a circus show, so the entrance into the palace gardens was forbidden that day; apart from the several Canterlot guards, they were the only ponies around.
"Have you brought the Elements with you?" Celestia asked. The bearers of the Harmony nodded and each of them pulled out their own piece of jewelry.
"Excellent. We should be done with this in no time. And don't worry, everything will remain under perfect control."
The fretting ponies silently obeyed as they surrounded Discord's statue. Twilight was facing its front, staring straight into those petrified, terrified eyes. His hands extended before him, in defensive posture, his mouth stuck in an eternal shriek of fear. Twilight couldn't help but feel a small sting of joy for releasing him; being stuck in the stone probably wasn't the best of experiences. She wondered what will his reaction be once he realizes he's powerless for the first time in his life.
The circle of light surrounded them all, with Celestia and Luna guiding the magical power as it intertwined between the Elements. They all closed their eyes and concentrated on the energy that flew through them. A blinding light followed by a wave of rainbow colored blast covered the garden and a mystical wind nearly threw the ponies out of balance, but they stood firm and strong. Then a high pitched sounds of spell doing its job spread far and wide, causing some guards to cover their ears.
For a few moments, nothing but pure white light was visible. The spell was done, the hum of the remaining magical force still heard in the air.
The light disappeared, with nothing but soft mist surrounding them all. The statue was gone, instead of it visible a familiar tall silhouette of a draconequus, towering triumphantly over them.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Molestia, Loonie and the Hellements of Armory. What a happy, happy encounter!" Discord watched over them victoriously, apparently not realizing what had just been done to him. Celestia but smiled politely at him. When she didn't say anything - and he didn't bother for a moment wondering why she seemed so calm - he continued, slowly strolling down from the stone pedestal: "I must say, your little turning-ponies-into-stone spell is getting weaker and weaker, dear Elements. I broke out with literally no effort at all. Maybe you should magic each other in stone for practice." He finished with a chuckle.
"Good day to you, Discord." Celestia spoke, sounding rather formal. "I am pleased to say it is actually good to see you again, regarding the circumstances. Yet, you seem quite giddy for someone so, ah, powerless."
"Powerless? Me?! Celestia, deary, as much as I like the fact your sense of humor is back after all these years, you need to work on it a bit more. Well, a lot more, to be honest. Speaking of power, though," the draconequus grinned and looked around, an eerily knowledgeable smile on his face, "I sense there are many more eyes observing us. Not sure what to make of that."
This time, Celestia blinked in confusion; she wasn't the only one caight off guard with such an odd comment. Rainbow Dash urgently looked around, as if there was a timberwolf about to jump at them and Fluttershy suddenly looked worried - but both Princesses and Twilight Sparkle had their magic to tell them that the Spirit had been wrong, for there was absolutely nopony aside from them and the several guards they put around. Whatever he was talking about, made sense only to him.
"Now, as lovely as this short encounter was, I'm sure you're all aware I have much better things to do than wait for you to light up your jewelry. So I'll be taking my leave. Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't even notice I'm here! It would mean my doom, really." He bowed and snapped his fingers confidently, expecting to be on the other side of Equestria in a matter of seconds.
Twilight carefully studied Discord's face as it changed slowly from victorious grin and a confused frown, to rapid blinking as realization hit him and finally to a panicked grimace worthy of a photo.
Discolight? DISCOLIIIGHT!
Tracking.
Well, let's see where this takes us!
Color me intrigued tracking!
321111
I find the lack of Discolight on FIMfiction disturbing.
321238
Certainly agreed.
I WANT MORE NOW
Edit: WRONG STORY, but I still want more
321307
The second chapter is actually quite close to finish, but it is so late here, I have to go and get some sleep. I leave you with a promise of a next chapter tomorrow!
EDIT: HAHAHAHA, you made my morning, lol! xD Thanks anyway, haha :P
It's pretty good so far~! I'll keep an eye on it.
heheh Hellements of Armory... stay out of my shed.
But seriously other than the multitude of spelling and gramatical errors good fic.
I saw it was DiscoLight and immediately tracked it. Then I read it and it only makes me wish I could track it again. Can't wait for tomorrow.
Dron't U Gust hait speeling and Gramaritacal errers?
Fix some of the grammar errors. I can auto-correct some of them as I read, but others I had to stop and reread sentences.
Still, tracking anyways. And personally, I wouldn't have removed all his powers, just most of them.
You have a lot of weird errors scattered about, I think this may have needed another edit or two. The premise is interesting so I'll track it, but you seem to need to add some polish to your work.
Ooooh this should be good. I've always been a fan of the Twilight-Discord pairing but you really don't see very many if any stories with that pairing. I'm looking forward to seeing how she fall's for Discord and how all of equestria will react to it. Somehow i don't think her parents her teacher and some of her friends will approve. I can see Rarity trying to set up Twilight with a somepony when she finds out. Hey i don't suppose you know about any other stories with this pairing.
321726
Yes I do, a lot of people have been complaining about those, so I will definitely proofread it... again. I am really bad at that, haha. Thanks for the warning.
321999
Thanks for the warning, I will definitely get to it soon.
Finally, a dedicated Discolight fic. Tracking automatically, man.
You could do with some more proofreading, though. Definitely caught some mistakes in there. No worries, though :).
323499
Haha thanks, the next chapter should be up in the next hour or so ( I think ).
Aww, shucks, would it be too much of me to ask you which mistakes were those? At least one or two, I hate being grammatically incorrect.
323505
Good lord, in the next hour? Like Xmas, this is.
I've got about... *counts on fingers*... five exams to study for right now, so I haven't got the time for a good old-fashioned listing. But when I grab a study break, I'll go through and write 'em up, send you a PM, ya?
323523
Wow, I too am having exams soon! And yet, here I am, writing fanfiction. I do understand your educational obligations, so leave and don't come back 'till you learn your stuff!
Oh that would be wonderful, thank you. Hear ya later!
unless your trying to make Celestia sound stresed i call OOC Celestia. ("I totally did say that; did I not, Luna?") <-- totally? to me all of it sound OOC but realy "totally"?
I noticed a MAJOR AND COLOSSAL SPELLING ERROR.
You misspelled the HeLEMeNts oF ARMorY.
EDIT FINISHED ABOUT AN HOUR (WITHOUT BREAKS) AFTER COMMENTING:
On a more serious note, there were a few things that I noticed.
Grammar/Spelling Errors:
"You're right. Thank you for giving me courage, Tia. Thanks to you...I know everything will end alright."
There needs to be a comma after the three period thing, which is apparently named a ellipsis.
"Oh goodness, I completely forgot about that!" she sighed with a small frown. "Seriously, that draconequus can be so bothersome sometimes; even while enchanted in stone." I do believe you mean encased in stone, not enchanted.
Twilight responded, with undoubtedly joyful smile on her face and even sparkier look in her purple eyes.
There needs to be an "an" right between "with" and "undoubtedly".
Rarity clicked her tongue, but said nothing - she, along with Rainbow Dash was the most against the decision the Princesses made. The part where it says "along with Rainbow Dash" is an interrupter. It, of course (example right here!), interrupts the sentence. Interrupters have commas before and after them, but yours is missing a comma after it. It should be "she, along with Rainbow Dash, was most against the decision the Princesses made." Also, the grammar seems somewhat awkward here, although it is your choice to fix it or not.
Twilight finally informed them all of the big news with the most splendid smile she could pull of. Of. Off. Of. Off.
I forgot what words like these are called, but they are spelled similar and are commonly mistaken with each other.
"What's the problem?!" Twilight asked, slightly confused; the clueless pony wasn't expecting such a rage outburst. Raging, rage-filled, etc. Just don't make me somehow feel awkward with this sentence, please...
"I need your support here guys; I am really, really looking forward to this project. I mean who knows, if it goes well with Discord, me might all even become... well... friends." "me" and "we", similar to the "of" and "off" situation, though not by nearly as much.
"Did you bring the Elements? Oh good, let's get this over with nice and quick." Celestia said almost lazily. Luna hoofpalmed, and Twilight shared confused looks with her friends. One, the word "good" in the second sentence serves as an interrupter and requires a comma afterwards. Also, "hoofpalmed". To facepalm is to put your palm to your face, usually as a sign of annoyance or frustration. To facehoof is to put your hoof to your face, usually as a sign of annoyance or frustration. Logically, to hoofpalm would be to put your hoof to your palm, usually as a sign of annoyance or frustration. However, I know of no creature that has both a front hoof as well as a palm.
And then a high pitched sounds of spell doing its job. Sentences, if not casual speak, are not supposed to begin with "but", "and", "or", and other similar words. "but" and "or" can be replaced with "however", while "and" can usually be replaced by "also" or "then", depending on the sentence. In this sentence, there is already a "then", so you can remove the word "and" as well as the letter "a" (which needed to be removed anyways) and capitalize the "t" in "then".
For a few moments nothing but pure white light was visible, the spell done, hum of the remaining magical force still heard in the air. This sentence doesn't make sense. It is a "run-on" sentence, in child's terms, as those are the only terms I can think of off the top of my head. It is supposed to be split into several sentences but instead continues on, hence the name. The split between the two sentences should be a period after "visible". While I'm still talking about this sentence, there should be a comma after "moments" and something to properly connect "hum of the remaining magical force heard in the air" to the rest of the sentence.
The statue was gone, instead of it visible a familiar tall silhouette of a draconequus, towering triumphally over them. That "triumphally" looks rather silly and improper. As a matter of fact, it isn't even a word! I believe you meant to type in "triumphantly" and somehow missed the "n" and "t", followed up by hitting "l" twice instead of once.
"I must say, your stone-enhancing spell is getting weaker and weaker dear Elements. I broke out with literally no effort at all. Maybe you should enhance each other in stone for practice." he finished darkly. Again, I believe you meant to say "encased" instead of "enhanced" or "enchanted".
"Hello there Discord." Shouldn't there be a comma after "there"?
Celestia, deary,as much as I like the fact your sense of humor is back after all these years, you need to work on it a little bit more. Well, a lot more, to be honest." the draconequus grinned as he snapped his fingers confidently, expecting to be on the other side of Equestria in the mater of seconds. Several errors in these sentences. The comma that comes after "deary" needs a space between itself and "as". Also, seeing as you hadn't started a sentence and put his words between it, the word "the" right after he finishes speaking needs to be capitalized. Finally, at the very end of the sentence, the word "the" before the word "mater" (which needs to be "matter", by the way) needs to be replaced with the letter/word "a".
Better Grammar Suggestions:
"So this is it." I suggest a comma right after "So".
"There is no reason to be afraid Luna. This is the way it has to be. Otherwise, it'll only hurt more, the more we put it off." I think there should be a comma right after "afraid".
"Miss Luna~ I hear you haven't been at the dentist in quite a while! It has been what, a couple hundred years? A millenium?! Good grief, let's check those royal teeth of yours!" Perhaps an ellipsis or comma after that "what"?
"Princess Celestia, forgive me for saying this but... you seem almost careless about this." Twilight said what all of her friends were thinking. It is easy to understand what you mean, but "careless" implies that they may also be ruthless about it. Princess Celestia seemed uncaring, which is similar but excludes the implication of ruthlessness.
Now that my wall of text consisting purely of grammar and spelling corrections has come to an end, I have two things to say to you.
1: I actually sometimes enjoy spelling and grammar checks when I do them of my own free will in my own free time.
2: If I were any less lacking in sleep and some form of energy, then I would have never even have considered being as specific and rude as I was in my checking of this story. In all likelihood, had that been the situation, I would have never even made this comment.
Have a nice day!
349199
Dearest Paper Crease,
I love you. Marry me.
Seriously though, wow man. WOW. Thank you countless and countless times for your time and effort, I learned more about English grammar from you than in high school. While some of these were mere typos, many were an absolute fail example of English grammar.
Also, I can not believe I wrote "hoofpalmed" instead of "facehoofed". Speaking of which...
That must be the most epic pony English fail I've ever made. I was obviously tired.
Thank you once again for your time. Ponies will always love you for it.
*notices your pony-profile*... Origami. I can't believe I encountered an origami talented pony a day after writing the 5th chapter.
Twilight carefully studied Discord's face as it changed slowly from victorious grin, to a confused frown, to rapid blinking as realization hit him, and finally to a panicked grimace worthy of a photo.
Indeed. I died laughing actually.
I do not have the .gif, but I'll say it anyway.
Dis gon' be gud.
its good already >w<
molestia...loonie...helements of armory...you're going on my favorites.right...fucking...now
321238 STAR WARS, FOR THE WIN
/)*(\
I dig it! Very nice, I will be tracking this one for sure!
Very nice premise to build on, I can't wait to see where you take this!
Celestia: TROLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOL
>Rainbow Dash was still suspiscious
*suspicious
>I was supposed to be drinking tea
Come on, everypony knows Celestia hates tea dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/lolface_Celestia.png
>Molestia, Lunnie and the Hellements of Armory
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Spike_lolface.png
321238 Here, music fixes everything:
[youtube=cQNu29ghKas]
Yeah team discord
p.s. please read my story called "A Rose, A Daisy, And A Lily" THANKS
oh god, that shed.mov reference.
[img]file:///C:/Users/Nova/Pictures/Dis%20gon%20b%20gud.gif[/img]
Hello! i love your work and i was wondering... may i borrow the ideas of
a) Twilights crush
and
b) the idea of discord being brought out of his cell?
please reply to me as soon as possible i promise i will give you credit!
I don't like the way that Twilight seems to be thinking. It's as if she's planning on keeping Discord as a pet and treating him as a test subject. That's rather impersonal and frankly rather disturbing. Despite what he may have done (which wasn't much, by the way), to treat him as something less than a mindless piece of meat to be experimented on is going a little to far.
Then again, I've only read the first chapter and I'm probably reading to much into it.
Also, how the hell is Twilight supposed to study all these powers that they've never seen before if they took them all from him? That makes no sense.
I found your story through one of your drawings. I like it so far. I'll keep on reading.
mustreadmoar
well now we know who to blame for molestia.
"Twilight couldn't help but feel a bit happy for releasing him; being stuck in the stone probably wasn't a nice experience."
...but
...but she does know what that's like.
Why do I get the feeling Discord was actually referencing something... Anyone willing to point me an arrow?
1653859
VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVv
photo-dictionary.com/photofiles/list/1965/2574arrow.jpg
2505547 That is the best response I have ever read. Good job!
Stilted dialogue, talking heads effect, too much telling with too little showing, and
Sorry. Not finishing this. Unfortunate, because it's a TwiCord shipfic, and that's an awesome pairing
2635793 Pinkie said it. It doesn't count.
even with carefully made plan that was supposed to go smooth
glaring at confused Twilight
1. Even with carefully made plans that were supposed to go smoothly.
2. Glaring at a confused Twilight.
damn i know im late.
its kinda hard to read this really. im sorry but it is.
but ill give it another try.
kinky
I already have a real problem with this way of "taming" Discord. I like to use the analogy of a tiger, when Discord is trapped in stone, the tiger is caged, and so is unable to do any harm, when Discord is free, the tiger is free, but this a powerless Discord is a chained tiger. My problem with this is a chained tiger is not a tame tiger, and as soon as the tiger finds the weakest link in the chain it will exploit it to escape. What I mean by this is if Discord gets his powers back, he wouldn't act tame anymore. Discord is no normal tiger, he is the sneakiest, sliest and most cunning tiger around, and he would be gone before the Elements knew what hit them. In other words, you cannot tame a tiger by removing its claws, you must teach it to not use its claws. This is why I think they didn't remove Discord's powers in the episode, as they wouldn't be taming Discord, but a weakened Discord, waiting for a chance to strike out at his captors.
How exactly does one strip Discord of his powers? I mean, apparently only the elements of harmony can do any lasting damage in the show. And in any other fic I've read. And where does all that magic energy go?
One of the worst things a story can do in my opinion. Is strip Discord of his powers. Makes little to no sense. This is a major turn off for me. i'll read a little farther. And see how it is. But i doubt i'll finish it . Sorry