The Crusaders: A Shadow Over Manehattan

by Starhunter

Chapter 6C: Seven Nights - Keeping Secrets

~ The Third Night ~

Squall had never been up on the roof of his apartment building before. But with his wing in a sling, his options of places to go to try and clear his head had been pretty limited. He needed to get out of the apartment for a while. Or, more specifically, away from his mother who had been alternating between coddling him outrageously and giving him searching looks for two days now. This had seemed like as good a place as any.

He'd come up here just before sundown, hoping that the quiet and the cool breeze on his feathers would help him relax. It was fully dark now and he was still just as anxious as he had been for days, so it obviously wasn't working. He wasn't sure what would at this point. He kept replaying his last few minutes in the clubhouse in his mind - putting the hold on Misty, the suddenness of his fall, and then Cold Star standing over him while he teared up like a wimp. Every time, he felt his chest tighten up a little more. What would Cold Star think of him, now? Would she ever let him do throwing drills again?

He rolled his shoulder, and winced. It was a smaller wince than it had been that afternoon though, so that was progress. He probably didn't need the sling any more, but wearing it was easier than arguing with his mother about whether or not he needed to go to the doctor. Just like using it as an excuse to miss school for a couple of days "to rest up" was easier than facing Babs or Misty right now, so he hadn't put up any fight when his mother had suggested he do so.

He looked down towards the street. Far below, the lights on the carriages moving past made him think of Apple-Loosa. He used to love going down to the town's huge apple orchard to watch the fireflies there. Back then, being a blank-flank had been normal for colts his age, and his mother was friends with almost everyone in town. It had been a pretty good life. Now, life was complicated and confusing. A part of him wished they had never come here.

But then he wouldn't have met Babs or Misty. He would never have become a Crusader, and never met Cold Star. Thinking of Cold Star made Squall's chest tighten even more. Something about the image of her standing over him after he fell continued to bother him. Maybe it was the way her eyes, which were so often stern and serious, had looked so surprisingly soft and concerned. Maybe it was the way her hooves had felt, sliding over his wing. It was exactly the same kind of thing his mother would have done when he'd taken a tumble back when he started learning to fly, so why did it seem so much different when she did it? Why, days later, did it make him all the angrier that he'd run out instead of toughing it out, or at least thanking her properly?

It was infuriating.

He heard the big metal access door behind him open, and he looked over his shoulder to find his mother coming out onto the roof. She had a blanket draped over her back.

"Summer? Are you still up here?"

Squall considered not answering. He mostly wanted to be left alone. But if she didn't find him she'd just end up getting worried, and the next thing he knew his apartment would probably be full of deputies helping her fill out a missing pony report. So he waved one hoof at her. "Yeah. I'm over here."

She made her way over, pulling the blanket off of her back as she went.

"You've been up here for quite a while, so I thought I'd see if you needed a blanket. It's getting cold at night, these days."

Squall shook his head, holding up one edge of his Crusader cape. "No thanks. I'm good."

Sunshower nodded and sat down next to him at the edge of the roof, wrapping the blanket around herself instead. "Okay. Then would you like to talk about what's bothering you?"

"Not really."

"It might make you feel better."

"I doubt it."

"Did you have a fight with the Crusaders?"

"No."

"Oh. Alright then. Because you came home early from your astronomy club meeting with a sore wing and locked yourself in your room all night. All you told me about your wing is that 'you fell'. So I thought maybe something had happened."

Squall looked away. His mother's nosiness was about as subtle as his last landing at 'astronomy club'. But she wasn't going to stop asking until she had some kind of answer, so he was going to have to give her something.

He sighed. "When I fell, I fell right in front of everyone. I was so ashamed that I left early."

Sunshower frowned, confused. "How did you fall on your wing during astronomy club?"

"By mistake. I was... kind of showing off."

"That sort of thing does have a tendency to backfire. But I'm sure Babs and Misty have done the same sort of thing before. They'll probably rib you about it, but it's all in good fun."

"I guess."

Sunshower watched Squall for a long moment. "This isn't about them, is it? It's about your other friend. The secret one."

Squall froze.

That was all the cues his mother needed. "Summer, is this new pony picking on you? Because if she is..."

"She would never do that!"

Squall found himself staring into his mother's surprised face. Squall didn't usually interrupt her, especially not so emphatically. He was just at surprised he'd done it as she was.

His mother shifted the blanket she was wearing, pulling it tighter around herself. "Oh, okay. I'm sorry if I said something unfair. But it's hard to judge when you haven't even told me her name."

The silence hung around them for a moment, and Squall felt a cool breeze ruffle his cape. It gave him an idea. It was not a good idea by any means, but half truths usually worked well enough for Misty. Maybe they would do the job here too.

He took a deep breath, and let it out, trying to sound calm. "Chilly. Her name is Chilly."

"Chilly? That's an unusual name."

"It's a nickname. Like how Babs is short for Barbara-Anne." Squall looked away, hoping to hide the tell-tale blush that usually gave it away when he was lying. Sunshower didn't say anything for a long moment.

"And is she a classmate of yours?"

"No. She doesn't go to our school. We just kind of ran into her one night while we were out Crusading. She moved here not that long ago, and we're some of the first friends she's made."

"And you let her join the Crusaders? Just like that?"

"She's pretty awesome." Squall smiled slightly. At least that wasn't an exaggeration.

His mother got the strangest look on her face. "So you fell in front of this new filly and... what? She laughed at you?"

"No. She came right over to make sure I was okay. She's like that. Even though she seems kind of cool and aloof, once you get to know her she's really the nicest pony."

"So you say. And was she the one you were trying to impress with your showing off?"

That wasn't a question Squall had expected, and he found his own answer equally surprising when it bubbled to the surface. "Um... well... actually, yeah. I guess so."

"Ah. I see."

Squall sat there for a long moment, waiting for more questions. He'd expected a full barrage at this point, but instead he looked over and found his mother huddled in her blanket looking down into the darkness of the street below.

"Mom, are you all right?"

Sunshower nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'm fine. It's just... you know, sometimes being a parent is funny. You forget that your little pony is going to grow up, one day."

Squall frowned in confusion. "Where did that come from?"

She smiled wistfully. "I was just thinking. You're going to get your cutie mark one of these days. Another couple of years and you'll be done with junior school. Pretty soon, you're going to start asking me a lot of tough questions. I guess I'm going to have to start thinking about how I'm going to answer them."

She seemed so sad. Squall scooted himself over to sit next to her, throwing the blanket over his back and leaning in against her. She leaned back, wrapping one wing around him. They huddled there together, and Squall could feel the melancholy spreading through her as though it were a physical sensation, like a splash of cold water thrown over his heart.

He never knew what to do when she got this way. Usually his mother was as steady as a mountain stone. But every once in a while something would happen to her, and she would suddenly deflate. Squall usually tried to do something to cheer her up, but the older he got the more he wondered about the cause of it rather than focusing on patchwork solutions. He had a hunch, though. And since they were already on the topic of difficult conversations...

"Hey, Mom? Do you think I could ask one of those hard questions?"

Sunshower sighed. "I had to open my big mouth, huh?"

"You don't have to answer, if you don't want to."

"No, go ahead. Get it out of your system."

"...Were you thinking about Dad, just now?"

He could feel her shoulders stiffen against his back, as if she were about to stand up. Then she relaxed again, and Squall felt himself relax in turn. When she spoke again her face was set, and hard to read. "Yes, I was. About him, and you, and me. About how things have worked out."

"Is that what was making you feel sad?"

She shrugged. "Maybe a little."

"Do you miss him?"

She looked away, back down into the streets. "Sometimes I do."

"So... sometimes you don't?"

Sunshower pulled her wing back from around him. He suddenly felt a lot colder, and it was more than just the night air. "He's been gone for a long time, Summer. Leaving him behind was one of the hardest things that I've ever done. But I had to do it, or I never would have been able to be a good mother to you. So I do my best to put him out of my mind, because remembering him is still hard on me. I hope that you don't have to understand what that's like until you're a lot older."

"Is that why we don't have any pictures of him? Because it makes you sad to think about him?"

Sunshower stood up. "Yes. And it's why I don't really like talking about him either. Come on, it's late. I'll warm us up some soup, and then we should both hit the hay. I'm working the early shift tomorrow, and your wing won't heal without rest." She made her way towards the door, making it clear she felt this conversation was over.

Squall sighed. "I just wish I knew more about him. That's all. I'm sorry if I'm being a pest."

She paused for a moment, and when she looked back some of the hardness had left her face. "It's not your fault. It's like I said - I'm going to have to figure out how to answer some of these questions. Your father was a complicated stallion. And our relationship was complicated, too. One day, I promise, I'll tell you all about him. But not tonight."

Squall got up and moved back from the edge of the roof. "When do you think that will be?"

"I don't know. When I think you're ready. Or when I think I am. Whichever comes first."

Squall was tempted to argue or plead, but his better sense prevailed. His mother was like cast iron in the face of that kind of trickery, and trying it would just irritate her. Besides, it was obviously bothering her. It was probably best to just change the subject.

His mother beat him to it. "So. What were you doing to show off for your new friend? Nothing too dangerous I hope."

Squall could think of only one convenient deflection. He rolled his wing out of the sling and pulled that and his cape off from around his neck, handing them to his confused mother.

"Here, I'll show you."

He walked over to the edge of the roof, then turned and sized up the space in front of him. Without mats and with a sore wing, this was probably going to be a little uncomfortable, but it would be worth it to see the look on her face if he managed to do it right.

He cantered a couple of steps and then threw himself into a headlong roll. The first roll became a second, and then a cartwheel, and then a wing-over into a back-flip. He finished with another back-flip, using his wings to corkscrew him around in mid air, landing him facing his mother on all fours, grinning broadly.

His mother stood there in stunned silence. He'd expected surprise, or maybe for her to be impressed. But right now she looked more like she'd seen a ghost. The dumbstruck look on her face took a bit of the wind out of Squall's sails. He pawed at the rooftop gently. "Well, something like that. The landing was a lot better this time."

His mother seemed to realize she was just standing there, and her face got stern again. "Summer, where did you learn how to do that?"

Squall shrugged. "Chilly is kind of into gymnastics. She showed me some stuff. I've been practising it as a part of my workouts every day."

She shook her head slowly. "I... well. That was really something."

"Um... thanks?"

"So I guess that means you wing is well enough for you to go without a sling, then?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Then I guess you're going to school in the morning. All the more reason to get to bed early. Come on, let's go have some dinner."

Squall had little choice but to follow her, feeling more confused than he had when he'd come up here, hoping to clear his head.

Author's Note:

Next time: An unexpected chat between two Crusaders leads to a startling revelation. Will the weight of many small deceits finally cause one of them to snap? Find out in the next exiting update!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Part 3 of my 7-part update. The next update should be this Friday.

And an exciting milestone! 200 readers! I hope everyone who is new to the story is enjoying it. Thanks, for reading, everybody!

As always, constructive criticism and helpful feedback are welcome. This is a project I'm working on as much to improve my writing as to celebrate my fandom, so please feel free to leave comments! I'm also still holding out hope for some awesome cover art I can use for this story. If you're interested, please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.