The Elements of Unity

by Gremlin Grenade

A Game of Rivals

[The greatest challenge of sentient beings is to master and overcome other sentient beings. The laws of nature and the universe are but tools at the behest of an intelligent creature, forever malleable and predictable, but it is our challengers and rivals that compel us to truly greater feats. To overcome the will of an equal, with all of their capabilities, adaptabilities, and own skills, is the greatest feat to master.]

The calming wind cleared Master Plan’s mind, as the sun gently warmed him atop a lush green hill. He opened his eyes after a moment, taking in the splendor of the world around him. Though he knew this beauty may not last much longer, he wanted to take it in while he could.

Behind him, he could hear Twilight’s voice as she approached. “Where are you going?”

Plan turned to face her, confused by her line of questioning. Despite inquisitive her tone of voice, Twilight’s expression was simple and monotone, as she stared blankly into his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, Twilight.”

“That’s not true,” she responded plainly, “I know you aren’t going to stay here.”

Master Plan felt his heart rate increase as he started to feel trapped. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he felt desperately compelled to. “I’m just going to make peace,” he tried to keep his nervousness hidden as he spoke; “I don’t want to hurt anypony.”

Twilight cocked her head in confusion. “Who would you be hurting?” she paced in front of him, her head turned down in thought, “I know you can’t hurt Celestia, and I don’t think you would want to hurt yourself,” she turned her head back to him, her eyes filled with concern, “are you worried about hurting… me?”

Master Plan started to respond, but stopped as he noticed a familiar stink and felt a warm drip down his forehead. He pressed his hoof to the source to see what it was, and revealed a thick red smudge. He gave Twilight an awkward smile as he wiped again, though she hardly seemed to notice. The flow increased as he tried to wipe it away, until it started pouring in his eyes, stinging and burning. The taste of blood filled his mouth, and he started to gag, suffocating on the onrush his body expelled.

Twilight took a nervous step backward as he vomited dark red gore onto the beautiful green grass, the world growing dimmer with each heave. The smell alone suffocated his senses, and he stumbled to his belly as the ground below him became too slippery to stand on. He reached a pleading hoof towards Twilight Sparkle, who now broke into a panicked run, as the world around him grew dark and repulsive.

Knock, knock, knock! Plan’s eyes shot open as somepony pounded on the motel door. He looked around to assess his surroundings, quickly recalling the previous night. He magically donned his attire as the knocking continued, making his way to the door. He opened it to find Well Rested, more wide eyed than usual, standing angrily in the hall.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, his voice angrier than it should be for such a line of questioning.

“I’m sorry?” Plan responded inquisitively.

Well Rested gave a frustrated sigh before continuing, “You were screaming. Is something wrong?”

“I’m sorry, everything’s fine,” Plan waved a dismissive hoof, “I’ll try to keep it down.”

Plan managed to catch a mumbled, “Everything’s fine, my flank,” before he turned back towards his room, a tuft of light green mane disappearing from the corner of his eye, into the room across from his.

Plan removed his hat as he sat back down on his bed, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Inquisitively, he rubbed his horn and the surrounding area, tracing the scar around it. As he recollected his thoughts, he looked out the window. It’s time, I suppose, he thought to himself, to go regain miss Sparkle’s trust.

================================================================================

Twilight trotted out the front door of her library with her head hung low; the previous night was anything but restful. Her mind was racing the entire night with regrets, memories, plans for the future, her friends and loved ones. She wished she could help Plan understand that Celestia wasn’t to blame for his tragedy, and she wished he could know the princess the way she did. As she walked the streets of Ponyville, she was so caught up in her thoughts she didn’t even hear Pinkie approaching.

“Hey, Twilight! What’s up?” Pinkie Pie was cheerful as ever, despite Twilight’s gloom.

“Oh, hi Pinkie,” Twilight tried to give Pinkie a reassuring smile. Still, she couldn’t get her mind off the conversation she had last night.

“Hey, Twilight, where’s your coltfriend?” Pinkie looked around curiously.

Twilight’s head shot up instantly, her face a burning red as she gave Pinkie a shocked look. “What?!?”

“Yeah, you know, Master Plan? Some ponies said they saw you two walking around town, yesterday, and I thought maybe you guys were dating. Did you two get in a fight or something?”

Twilight’s blood started to boil. “Pinkie, first of all, he’s not my coltfriend! And we did not-“ Twilight suddenly stopped herself as she realized the second part of Pinkie’s questioning was true. Rather than returning her to her previous depression, however, her anger only grew. The growls and grumbles she let off were barely discernible as words.

Twilight stomped off towards the motel, mumbling angrily when she nearly crashed into a small off-white unicorn, exiting the motel. Twilight stopped just before the mare, whose eyes lit up at the sight of her, “Ah, Miss Sparkle! Good morning!” Cleric gave Twilight a smile before trotting off.

Before Twilight could gather what had just occurred, she caught Master Plan in her peripherals, bringing back the frustration she had a moment ago. “YOU!” she pointed an accusing hoof in Plan’s direction as she headed his way. Master Plan took a nervous step backwards as she approached, unprepared for the onrush of fury moving towards him. “You are going to tell everypony in this town that you are NOT my coltfriend!” Twilight barked.

“I beg your pardon?” Plan’s initial fear was replaced with genuine confusion towards Twilight’s accusations.

“I said, YOU ARE NOT MY COLTFRIEND!” Twilight’s shouting was followed by echoing silence as the air around them seemed to grow still.

“Well, it seems you managed to tell everypony so yourself,” Master Plan remarked as he started to walk past Twilight. If he wanted to level with her, this wasn’t the time. “I’m going to go see what Rarity’s progress on my coat is.”

===============================================================================

Having worked on the farm her whole life, apple-bucking was something Applejack could do without thinking, and she usually used her work time to get most of her thoughts and decisions out of the way. Usually she this only took a short while and she could concentrate on her work, but recent events were a lot more than she was used to. While everything seemed normal enough on the outside, Zecora’s visit had Applejack worried, compound with her own suspicions when Master Plan and his friends arrived in Ponyville. She didn’t know what these newcomers wanted, but she had the feeling that they meant harm, which was only amplified when she found out that at least one of them came from a land she and her friends doomed to a hundred years of darkness. There was a chance that he didn’t know they were behind it, and an even slimmer chance that he was just here to make amends, but Applejack knew, were she in Plan’s place, she would probably want to get even, which is a pretty big feat considering what he had apparently been through.

Applejack stopped her progress for a moment, deep in thought, before heading out towards the barn. She was going to find out exactly what Steel Hoof and his friends were here for…

================================================================================

Inside the boutique, Rarity was putting the finishing touches on an ornate dress in the middle of the room, humming cheerfully as she worked. She swiveled her head as the door opened, giving Plan an excited smile. Before he even had a chance to speak, she was trotting about, pulling various items of clothing off several racks and levitating the ensemble towards a mannequin. She turned back to Plan as she assembled the wardrobe, “What do you think?”

Master Plan was surprised, the attire was certainly fitting. The coat she produced was much like his, though with a silver design lining the ends and collar. Beneath it was a formal black shirt to match the coat, a crimson tie wrapped around the neck. The hat received much the same treatment as the coat, a silver design along the brim of the cap and the strap that surround the base of the hat. A small silver badge was also planted on the front of the hat, displaying a chess piece that resembled his cutie mark. “It’s… good!” he was genuinely surprised with how she was able to capture his tastes.

“Why thank you dear, I’m glad you like it.” Rarity turned back to the wardrobe, “I must admit I was hesitant to work with such a dull palette at first, but it turned out to be an interesting change from my usual brightly colored ensembles; it let me finish this much sooner than I expected.” She paced around the mannequin, gesturing a hoof towards each aspect as she spoke about it, “Fortunately I happened to have a coat like yours on hand, an older design from a friend. This design here is a little something I cooked up in Canterlot; it has sort of a regal sense to it, don’t you think?” She moved over towards the front of the mannequin, “I know you wanted simply black and grey, but I think this tie here would go marvelously with those gorgeous eyes of yours.” She pulled the cap from off the display, “this hat is something like I’ve never seen, darling,” she turned her eyes curiously back to Plan.

“It’s from Stalliongrad,” he answered to her implied question.

“I see,” she turned back to the cap, “well it was a joy to work with! This little badge here is supposed to reflect your cutie mark, I hope you like it!” After a moment of studying her work, she gave the hat a grimace, “I must admit, it was difficult to prevent myself using my usual jewels on this piece,” she turned back to Plan, “if you want some coloring up on this outfit, just bring it back here and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think that will be an issue,” Plan replied as his eyes traced the layout of the outfit before him.

“Well, go on! Try it on!” Rarity levitated the various pieces of clothing into Plan’s magical grip, while he returned the fedora she offered him, “the changing room is in the back.”

When Master Plan emerged, he could already feel the difference; no longer did he resemble a battered worn nopony, but instead a regal and looming mastermind. The strong shoulders of his coat, the tightly fastened tie around his neck, the gleaming silver that adorned his cap; all of this made him feel stronger and more powerful, and his stance showed this.

“Darling! You look marvelous!” Rarity’s eyes lit up with approval as Plan strutted back towards the three-way-mirror. To be honest, she would have preferred something a little more cheerful (she was inclined to believe that his appearance would probably have the same effect on ponies it already did), but considering the disaster that occurred the last time she built an outfit to her friend’s specifications rather than her own intuition, she was pleased enough with the result.

It was evident that Plan felt the same, as he inspected his reflection from various angles. Though not exactly smiling, it was clear he felt the outfit suited him, as was exemplified in his courteous nod he gave Rarity for her work. “Thank you for this, Rarity.”

“Oh, it was the least I could do, considering your disheveled state!” Rarity was usually cautious to not insult her guest, but she could tell that Plan was thick-skinned enough to not be offended. “Really, it was my pleasure!”

***

After exchanging pleasantries with Rarity and promising to return the favor, Master Plan returned towards his initial destination: the library. He stopped in his tracks, however, when he noticed a familiar pony in the distance. Though Plan couldn’t put his hoof on it, he knew he had seen this pony somewhere before. Where didn’t really matter, though, as it seemed the stranger was headed in his direction.

“You’re Master Plan, aren’t you?” The snobbish white unicorn called out, a sinister undertone in his voice. “If you don’t mind, I’d like you to come with me.”

Plan studied the stranger for a moment before complying. His fur was a sheen of white, his mane a slightly more beige shade. His flank bore a slightly tipped scale, and upon his face sat a heavy monocle. Upon further inspection Plan realized this was the pony who attempted to arrest him on the train. He considered resistance for a moment, though he realized that it would not only compromise his cover, it may prove ineffective altogether; he had no way of knowing what this pony was capable of or even what his intentions were. Plan simply nodded as he followed the white pony down the road towards Ponyville.

“My name is Holy Justice, I’m with the Department of Kingdom Security and I’m here to investigate a plot to overthrow the royal throne.” He shot Plan a wolfish smile as they crossed the river towards the park. “An associate of mine has recently delivered a message from somepony by your name, and a particularly harsh message at that,” he gestured towards a park bench as they left earshot of anypony nearby. “I intend to return a message of my own, and I decided it would be best received if it were delivered face to face.”

Both ponies sat on the bench, nonchalantly observing the idle birds and whispering trees. “I believe I’m inclined to agree, Mr. Justice, it is considered honorable in times of conflict to negotiate on even terms,” Master Plan shot back, his voice carrying a subtle harshness.

“Indeed, though I do hope we never live to see times of true conflict,” Holy Justice kept his voice calm and casual as he spoke, as though unaware of the situation himself.

“I’m afraid we cannot always see our hopes achieved,” Plan turned his gaze slightly towards his rival, “Besides, war has often been the precursor to positive change, has it not?”

Though he did not turn his head, Justice’s expression turned somewhat sour at this, “It is my professional obligation, Mr. Plan, to ensure that such an observation cannot accurately be made in our lifetimes.”

“Perhaps we should dispose with the pleasantries,” Plan continued, slightly pleased with Justice’s apparent annoyance, “I have quite the busy day and a number of somewhat monumental tasks ahead of me.”

“Indeed,” Justice adjusted his monocle, “I have recently acquired the necessary papers warranting your arrest, and providing the use of the Equestrian guard at my disposal to do so.” He turned his attention fully towards Master Plan, “you will be arrested within the next few days, you will be put on trial, and you will likely suffer banishment. Why I’m here now is to give the innocent citizens of Ponyville a chance to continue their peaceful lives without interference from our petty squabble. I’m giving you a single day for you and your compatriots to leave the premises of Ponyville, so that our arrest,” Justice sighed before continuing, “or, if need be, battle, can take place away from the attentions of ponies who are both unaccustomed and unwilling to live in any awareness of the darker side of this world.”

Though his response was already formulated, Plan was somewhat intrigued by the behaviors of this stranger. “The innocence of Ponyville? Surely you don’t think they are completely oblivious to things like war?” he turned back to the scenery, basking in the irony of his predicament. “Innocence is like youth, trying to preserve it only ends poorly; you could say I’m doing these ponies a service.”

Holy Justice shook his disapprovingly. “And here I thought we were getting along so well.” He turned back towards Plan, “You know, I do admire your conviction. I was even pleased to hear you would not be put to death when caught; a mind such as yours really shouldn’t go to waste.”

“You’d rather I rot in a prison, wasting away without meaning or purpose?”

“I’d rather that you applied your talents towards the good of all Equestrians.”

“And so I will.” Plan turned to his rival with a smile, “be patient my friend, the world isn’t whole yet.”

Holy Justice grimaced. “Just because I hold a respect for you, do not mistake us as friends. Your plots are unforgivable, and your corruption shall not spread any further if I can help it.”

“Corruption?” Plan let out a hearty laugh. “You really think there is such a thing? There’s only the spreading of ideals, and the strongest ideal shall be considered just!”

“Your words, Master Plan, lead these ponies down a dark path, one that only ends in pain and sorrow.”

“What I do is bring them the truth. Your petty government protects them, shelters them, but when those walls are broken down, the blinding light of reality is too strong, and it burns away their sight, leaving them wandering in the dark. I bring the truth, that they may live in freedom, free of the shackles of ignorance and into the world that they can build, where anything can happen,” he gave Justice a feral grin, “even the death of a goddess.”

“I know the dark secrets this world hides. I understand how it is to fight against the tide of pain and suffering with a nonchalant grin. I know the corruption that breeds in the highest echelons, and the poverty that strikes the poorest streets. These things, however, are the way it is meant to be. You can’t create a perfect world, and you are a foal to believe you can where our princesses cannot.”

Master Plan scowled. “You’ve seen the darkness? I care not for the corruption that ebbs at your towers, and the hunger that strikes your gutters; the true darkness lies in the hearts of all ponies, where the principals and lies are built and fed. You have not seen darkness until you have seen the closest friends betray one another, and for what? For wealth? For power? For simple food? For nothing! For something so pointless, so nonexistent, as principal!”

“And you aim to change this? You think you can alter ‘the hearts of all ponies?’”

Master Plan rose from the bench as he turned towards the town, “I pity you, and your obedience. I hope the sun goddess keeps her dogs well fed, because tomorrow the world you know will begin to crumble.”

Holy Justice remained on the bench as he watched his nemesis pace off into the distance.

***

As Master Plan approached the town, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of heavy hooves, galloping in his direction. “Comrade, the farm pony goes to alert authorities of our plan!” Steel Hoof was nearly out of breath as he arrived.

“She knows why we’re here?” Master Plan’s expression was more alert than frustrated.

“I do not know, but she has acted suspicious since zebra came for visit.”

Master Plan paced back and forth, contemplating his options. On one hand, it was evident that government figures already knew about his operations, though it was entirely possible that the entire conversation with Holy Justice was a bluff, a trap to lure him out of Ponyville. Still, if Twilight Sparkle or the others discovered about his plan via the wrong means, it could jeopardize the entire operation. Time was growing short as it was, and it was probably best that he take action to prevent it.

After a few moments of deliberation, Master Plan turned to his friend, “I want you to silence her. You don’t need to kill the element of honesty, but ensure her friends do not discover our motives.”

Steel Hoof simply nodded, as he turned back towards Sweet Apple Acres. Master Plan, on the other hand, continued back towards the library, bent on gaining the trust of a certain somepony…

================================================================================

When Steel Hoof approached the barn, Applejack was still nearby. Strapping on her saddlebags, Applejack headed out of the farm house, a grim and contemplative expression across her face. She turned a gaze towards the setting sun before heading off, nearing Steel Hoof’s position. As his stern figure caught her eye, she gave him an apologetic expression. “Somethin’ you need, sugarcube?”

Steel Hoof was typically direct. “I think you should stay here, on farm.”

“Sorry, but ah’m gonna just head over to Twilight’s for a moment, and then ah’ll be right back.”

As she started to head off, Steel put a hoof on her shoulder, “I am sorry, but I cannot let you do that.”

Applejack responded with a pleading gaze, more wounded than nervous, as she gently tried to remove Steel’s Hoof. The effort was unnecessary, however, as he was quickly jolted to the side by a massive blunt force to the ribs. Over him stood Big Macintosh, breathing heavily and angrily. “Go! Git out of here!” he barked at his sister, before being barreled over by his rival.

Big Macintosh took the blow in stride, rolling back to his hooves several feet away from Steel Hoof. A moment of silence passed as both of the massive earth ponies stared each other down. Though their faces bore expressions of anger, both were secretly excited to test their strength against the other in such a direct fashion.

Macintosh made the first move, charging towards his opponent with his head lowered. Steel Hoof responded by sidestepping the attack, ramming his shoulder into Macintosh’s side. The blow was not enough to knock the farmer down, however, and he responded with a kick of his own into Steel’s legs. The stallion buckled and fell to his knees, but returned with a rising head butt, catching his opponent in the chin. Big Mac reeled back a few steps, his vision blurry and disoriented. He shook his head to regain his focus, only to see Steel Hoof charging towards him. The collusion brought the two into a nearby apple tree, their weight splintering bark and damaging the trunk. The falling apples went unnoticed compared to the violent force of the blows each had just received, and the two ponies took as step back to regain their balance before charging into one another again.

As Steel Hoof readied himself for another charge, Big Macintosh responded by rearing onto his back hooves, coming down atop his opponent’s back with his fore hooves and head. He wailed away at the downed earth pony with his fore hooves, until a sweeping motion made by Steel Hooves pulled him off his hooves. Once hitting the ground, Big Mac rolled to his side, narrowly missing a hefty buck that left an imprint in the ground the size of a boulder. Hastily climbing to his hooves, he stepped back just in time to avoid a second swing, and respond with a buck of his own. The force of the farm pony’s practiced buck sent Steel Hoof flying through the air, crashing into the wall of the Apple family barn. He followed up the attack with a speedy charge, only to be caught in Steel Hoof’s grip. Steel used Macintosh’s momentum to send him flying through the barn wall, crashing into a nearby pig pen and sending the pigs inside reeling.

Big Macintosh started to stand, but instead, stayed at his knees, his low center of gravity catching the pony charging towards him off guard and over his back. Steel Hoof crashed into one of the beams holding up the barn, and the structure started to rattle and shake. He wrapped his teeth around a loose chunk of wood, swinging wildly at his opponent. Big Macintosh was a tough stallion, but he wasn’t about to fight an armed pony his size. He backed away from Steel’s swings before breaking into a run towards the upper level of the barn. Steel Hoof followed in pursuit, his missed swings crashing into walls and hay bales. Finally Big Mac managed to dislodge the weapon from Steel’s grip, and the two stallions barreled into one another, crashing into a group of hay bales below. As both ponies climbed out of the hay, they took stance facing each other, each catching his breath for a moment. The havoc of the moment subsided; however, as they heard the sound of the barn doors slowly open.

“What are you to doin’?” the miniscule yellow filly complained. “Y’all are makin’ a ruckus, and it’s scarin’ all the pigs!” Applebloom stood in the doorway with an expression of equal parts confusion and frustration. The two stallions turned to each other, guffawing wildly before falling to the floor. “Big Macintosh? Big Macintosh!”

================================================================================

Twilight let out an exhausted sigh as she sat with a cup of coffee in her library, Fluttershy at her side. It was fortunate Fluttershy showed up when she did; the element of kindness turned out to be the perfect therapist for Twilight’s stress, and the two mares eventually managed to enjoy a pleasant afternoon together. Eventually, they were joined by Rainbow Dash, and it wasn’t long before the three of them found themselves in Twilight’s library, enjoying a good book.

When Master Plan arrived, Twilight gave him a welcoming smile, a pleasant change from their meeting that morning. “Hey, Plan!” she chirped gleefully, before returning her attention to her book.

“Twilight, there’s something I need to talk to you about,” Master Plan started, his voice slightly concerned.

Twilight cut him off, having already made her assumptions. “It’s okay, really. I overreacted earlier today, and I actually wanted to apologize.”

Master Plan straightened his posture, trying to emphasize his seriousness, though his voice remained calm and concerned. “I appreciate it, Twilight, but first I need you to hear what I have to say,” his eyes turned to Rainbow Dash, “all of you do.”

The mares looked at him with sympathetic eyes, which made his task all the more difficult. He was usually used to breaking harsh news, but this time something was different. There was so much at stake here; if he lost their trust then he lost everything.

No, that wasn’t it. A lot certainly hinged on the careful use of his words, but this was a skill he had taken years to master. A part of him knew that what he had to say, what he had to tell them, would wound these mares whom he quickly came to know as friends.

Twilight managed to break his absence of presence as she spoke, however. “Plan, if this is about last night, don’t worry about it. We were both angry; I really mistook your intentions and you probably said some things you didn’t mean.”

“No, Twilight, listen,” he turned his gaze to the floor, trying to find the right words, “I meant every word I said last night. I know your relationship with the princess means a lot to you, but I have some issues with the choices she’s made. Issues I don’t think will be easily resolved.”

At this point their conversation had even garnered the attentions of Spike and Rainbow Dash, who chose to interject. “Oh, yeah? What kind of issues are talking about here?” Plan gave her a solemn grin, if there was somepony that could be counted on in the coming days, it would be the pony lauded as the element of loyalty. Now if only he could help her break her current loyalties.

Though he opened his mouth to speak, he was finding it more and more difficult to find the words he needed. It would probably be easier to propose marriage to a total stranger than tell these ponies of the violence that was about to erupt. “I’ve made some… dangerous choices recently, but I believe they were the right choices. Choices that have made life difficult, and choices that make me a wanted pony.” He let out an anxious sigh, “I fear the world you girls know is about to change, but I need your trust.”

Nopony said a word; though they wanted to trust him, they also wanted to know why trusting him would be an issue. “Tomorrow, I’m going to-“

His speech was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Applejack, whose exhaustion only enhanced her flabbergasted expression. She stood in the door, wide-eyed at Plan’s arrival; what could she tell Twilight now with him here? She decided to follow her specialty and go with the truth.

“Twilight, ah think these ponies aren’t here for the reasons they say they are,” she was unsure how exactly to word her speculations without any evidence, or a straightforward accusation for that matter.

Though she expected Plan to resist, she was caught off guard by his particular response. “Really? And what am I in Ponyville for, Applejack?”

His sarcasm earned him a decent amount of stink-eye before she continued, “Ah ain't accusin’ you of anythin’, but Zecora saw me earlier and she looked a might nervous about Plan and his friends here.” She cooled her temper for a moment before continuing, “Ah think we need to have a talk about what exactly it is you plan on doin when you get to Canterlot.”

***

Atop the roofs of Ponyville, the world seemed so quiet and peaceful. It was unfortunate then, Cleric felt, that such dirty work needed to be done that night. The sound of voices below caught her attention, and she turned to the warm glow of the library to see her quarry exiting the door. Holy Justice had ensured that some of the most powerful spells were at her disposal to achieve her objective that night, and she went over the plan in her mind once more before preparing the first incantation. As her horn shimmered with magical energy, a glowing bow and arrow materialized before her. A green reticule appeared in front of one eye, it’s crosshairs lined up with the notch on the bow. She pulled back the string, preparing in her mind to initiate the time stop and memory erasure spells she was issued directly from the Starswirl the Bearded wing as soon as the bow let fly. The soft sound of voices below grew louder as the other ponies from inside followed. She calmed her breathing as she eyed her mark, doing all she could to maintain focus.

It was unfortunate, then, that something so simple and so accidental as a sneeze, would cause her to lose focus, cause the bow to loose tension, for just long enough to send a veering shot into the group below. All of Cleric's training failed to serve her as she stared, frozen, at the mistake she made.

Below, Applejack, Twilight, Rainbow, and Plan all stood, wide-eyed and mouths agape, as they formed a semi-circle around the bleeding body between them. The ebbing red soaked into her warm yellow coat, as Fluttershy lie bleeding, a hole through her chest.

End Chapter 9

Comments

[Stalin the Stallion]

Althou story is a little stereotypical, it's overall enjoyable. Writing itself is fine, pacing is fine and plot is interesting.

Oh, by the way. Your cover. Things written on it (concidering russian cyllibals and stuff) is

YAEVOLCTIOI
Shenave the poscheya
Scheaya the poiies

Anyway, keep up the good work!

[Gremlin Grenade]

568183

That's kind of why I need a new one.

Thanks for the kind words! I plan on re-doing the first chapters so it becomes anything but stereotypical, as the second act is going to be (I hope).

[Gremlin Grenade]

722635
I just remembered something. As soon as I get that cover art from comrade stalin, I plan on adding a prologue chapter.

So, despite my earlier impatience, you may want to wait for that to do a full review.

Still, I appreciate you giving something to hold me over, and I'm glad you liked it so far!

[The Commander]

A similar concept to my planned fic...

I shall watch this...

most intently.....

[Gremlin Grenade]

811579
yes.
YES.
YES!

After so long, a comment for this story!

Not only that, but a positive one, from a name as awesome as "The Commander"

[The Commander]

811840

My good sir I thank you for writing this fic. For it allows me to compare and contrast with my own ideas and helps me immensely.

Second, my positive comment was well earned, since I already read a couple of chapters of this fic and I can honestly say that I like it a lot. (Oh the delightful little revolutionary I am!) *upvote*

Third, thanks about the name (I don't know why I get that so much )

And now I shall continue to read this so I can give my full thoughts on it once I finish.