• Published 14th Mar 2012
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Don't Step on a Rune. - Warpony



A human, Rune magic and enemies. This is the story of Mythic (Daniel) Rune, the human and the Mystic

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Victor and Awkwardness

“It’s me, Victor!” Victor shouted over the phone. This forced Mythic to move the phone from his ear, but once Victor was done he placed it back. “How the hell are you talking through my phone and how the hell is this even working? There can’t be any towers around here, is this some sort of magic?” Mythic doubted there was any logic sense in the matter. “Duh, how else would you get service? And don’t worry about your minutes; you’re on the Victor plan package! Think of it as a gift for causing you slight pain and making you live through a very awkward situation.” Victor said with a slight hint of remorse, before laughing like he as crazy. “But the look on your face when you kissed Rarity, Hahahah, it was hilarious! Dear ancient, that was funny.” his laughter died down but not before Mythic yelled to at him. “That was not funny, I nearly died from the fear embarrassment. Do you know what I think? I'm scared now that Rarity will plot to kill me for what i did; the only good thing that came out of it was I got to play a little mind game. But that isn’t even worth it, know why did you call and more importantly, how am i standing in my house?!” Mythic pressed Victor for information, now waiting for a response.

“Well, a few things, one I ‘was’ going to say sorry for what happened, but the screw that it was too funny. Two, the phone is a way for us to keep in contact in cause you need me to answer some question, or inform you about how to train in a certain field and I’m not using a phone just a crystal ball. Cliché, I know . Three, there is no way I could give you the ability to understand the female gender. And this is not your house; I used a duplication method to make you a second home here in Equestria, but with some… modifications to your food supply… how do I put this?” Mythic’s heart dropped. “Well you see, you are biped now, they don’t eat meat, so therefore…” Mythic only had one response option. He inhaled and screamed so loud, that both Victor, Rarity who stood downstairs waiting, and the ponies all over PonyVille winced in pain as their ear drums nearly burst. “WHY IN GODS NAME WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU SAID YOU KNOW MUST RIGHT, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY STAKES?!”

Victor was silent over the phone; frankly, he had no idea what to say. “I’D KILL FOR THEM!” Mythic screeched into the phone. Victor tried making Mythic see reason in a cowardly voice. “But you can’t eat it. You’re not made to eat it in this realm, your body won’t digest it and you can’t even chew it properly. You might have had cravings back on Earth but here you’ll get used to not eating meat. You will find other sources of protein and such. It’s not a big deal, besides you’ll look crazy eating meat, the Ponies will think you’re a cannibal!” Mythic stopped his howling and thought about what Victor said. ‘Damn it, he has a good point, but I lived off the stuff! How am I supposed to change that?’ Mythic spoke, now this a cooled down attitude. “I-I- I’m sorry, it’s just… I never thought It’d come to this. I have spent so much time dreaming and thinking, what would happen if this happened, or if that accrued. Never have I ever thought about not having my beloved meat taken from me.” A tear dripped from his eye. “It’s scary, ok”


Victor was silent once more before yelling at Mythic this time. “Are you serious!? You can deal with becoming a 'animal', finding out you need to fight beings that can simply destroy you and deal with all other situations, but brake down when you can’t have meat? I swear, if this is not delayed shock, you are just stupid!”

“That sort of hurts my feelings. For a higher being, you sure are mean.”

“Don’t care. And you started it. Now go do what you have to do and get to training, the Shard will be sending Corrupt at you soon, most likely” Victor said with a grim fashion.

“Like Talos?” Mythic gulped in horror at the thought. He heard steps coming up the stairs; he stuck his head out the door and saw Rarity walking up the stairs with an expression of fright. She could hardly form a sentence. “M-Mythic, w-was that y-you?” Mythic’s previous roaring scared the living hell out of her and most likely a few other ponies in town. He covers the speaker of the phone and whispered to her. “Sorry for that. I’ll be down soon, give me a second” He then put the phone back to his ear.

“No, they can’t just send out their elite for ‘every’ fight. First they’ll test you current strength and determine the best course of action. Then they’ll send in the big boys. I suggest you get Luna to help you with your rune magic.”

“Why her, why not Twilight or someone more available?” Mythic didn’t understand, surely the Princess had more important matters to attend to.

“Well that would make more sense, but she is the only one who can use Runes in Equestria. Well Celestia as well, but Luna doesn’t do much ruling.” Victor said with a matter of fact manner.

“Oh, well I guess that makes sense, is that all?”

“Yeah, oh wait; along with the house you have electricity and running water.

”Mythic was both in joy and surprise. “How is that possible? That isn’t logical.”

“Really, you’re siding with logic? Its magic dumbass, and who needs logic anyway? I’ll see you around.” With that, Victor’s voice went silent and a dull beep was heard from the phone.

“Hello, Victor?” BEEP BEEP BEEP. “Damn it, non-explaining-magic son of a bitch. Well at least i don't need to go dig hole in the yard."

And with that he threw the phone on the bed and walked away. Rarity was still at the top step, waiting for Mythic. “Is everything ok? You scared me half to death with your yelling earlier.”

Mythic chuckled “Yeah, I sounded crazy I know. But everything is better, for now. I have to get things done and quickly, you still going to make me some clothes?”

Rarity nodded “I’d love to, but I don’t know teleportation magic and we can’t have ponies see that you’re an Alicorn.” She rubbed her chin. “There has to be a way to get to my boutique without anypony seeing…”

Mythic though and rubbed his chin as well, for a minute they thought. Mythic then hit his head with a hoof and laughed. He walked back into his room and picked up some of his larger shirts and held them in his mouth. He walked back into the hall and dropped them on the floor, his face holding a brilliant smile."Well as much I want to just send you fall to go get your stuff, I want to see the town. And besides" He pointed to the “Who says they don’t have to see me? They just can’t see my wings, which are already tied down.” He chuckled “I’m brilliant!”

“I didn’t think this through. They are so uncomfortable under all this cloth, why did you make it so~ tight?” It was not three minutes since the two left Mythic’s house and entered the town. Through both their efforts, Rarity was able to tie five white shirts around Mythic and cover both the bandage and his wings. But it was in vain, Mythic kept fidgeting with his sides as the shirts and bandaged wings kept making friction sending Mythic into a rant about his discomfort. “Was there no other way to do this Rarity?”

Rarity gave him a monotone reply. “Yes, there was no other way. I don’t mean to be rude, but shut up we are half way there. We simply need to cut through the market and you can stop wearing that last minute rag-tag getup.” After that she huffed and lifted her nose in the air.

What a stuck up, wait, don’t go down that road. Let us ponder for a moment, look at this in her view for a second dumbass. You kiss her, not your fault but still, and then make her and Twilight see me act a fool in the street. Skip to the house, I yell and scare her then whine. Scratch the last bit, complain is what I mean to say. He he, bit… he he he…ponies.’ Mythic was lost in his pun for a minute before coming back to reality. ‘Focus, focus, you need to say sorry. You have done this before, expect mix results. Dear lord please don’t be like last time.’ Mythic cleared his throat and run up to Rarity who was leading the way through the market. He got up to her side and started “Rarity, I don’t think this should go without saying, I’m sorry if I have been less then, well, appreciative. I truly am thankful of you doing this; it would have been weird for me walking around naked.”

Rarity stopped in the middle of the market to listen to Mythic. The two were making somewhat a scene in the market and quickly grow the curiosity of some pass biers and cart owners, but Mythic was oblivious. “Look at me Rarity, please. I might not have done much bad, but I have not done any good either. I can tell you’re annoyed by my attitude and I can whine like a child, but please forgive me?” Mythic got on three knees and extended one hoof out to Rarity. Nopony knew what was going on but watch the two with intensity in their eyes. They didn’t know who he was but didn’t care at the moment; this was to some very entertaining. Rarity looked down at Mythic, who put on his bad poker face. She looked down at him for a straight two minutes before smiling and grabbing his hoof. She lends in and gave him a hug and began talking to him. “You don’t need to worry Mythic dear, I’m not mad at you. But yes you can whine so~ much, you have been here for the shortest while and I haven’t heard so much complaining from one pony! But I do forgive you.” All the ponies around them cheered.

‘Hug plus crowd of cheering strangers equals, awkward. Must move away, NOW!’ Mythic struggled to escape Rarity’s embrace. “OK Rarity let go, now. I want to get out of here, people are looking.”

“Oh right sorry, dear. And don’t fret, we are nearly there.” Rarity let go of Mythic and they started again, it wasn’t long before they made it to Rarity’s Boutique. As they got closer Mythic heard the sounds of young ponies playing around coming from the front door, it was open. He could see an orange Pegasus jumping around with two others, but they couldn’t be seen. Rarity cringed somewhat at the sound coming from the Boutique. “Well I guess you’ll need to wait Mythic, I have some fillies to take care of.” She the stomped off into the building and left Mythic in a state of panic and confusion. ‘What does she mean by take care of? Oh lord is she a mother, did I kiss a mother!? What of her husband, they have that practice here right? Of course they do, they have some much other stuff and he is going to kill me if he finds out! Only one word can describe my life right now, BUCK… the hell?’ “Buck… buck… Buckity Mcbuck buck. What the hell, I can’t say it!” Mythic was astonished and horrified by this discovery, he couldn’t wrap his mind around it, he lost the ability to say a word, why? ‘Victor now has one more thing to die for! Buck, damn it all, I want my cloths and then I’m heading home and talking to that prick. If I can punch a damn button that is! Mythic walk to the door frame to catch Rarity lecturing three fillies. Mythic took note of them; one was orange Pegasus with a purplish mane and tail. ‘I already like that one.’ A yellow earth pony with a red mane and tail, she had a red bow in her mane. ‘Dawww’ The last was a white unicorn with a purple and pick mane and tail. ‘Meh, wait a damn second!’ He took a good look at her, that at Rarity, then back at the filly, then back to Rarity. He did this about seven times till it clicked in his head. 'That must be the one! The other two must be friends or something, but she is definitely related to Rarity. I mean look at her!'

Rarity was finishing up her rant when the little unicorn spotted Mythic out by the door. “Um…Rarity? I think someone’s at the door.” Sweetie Bell then pointed to the door as Mythic slowly trotted backwards away. Too late. Rarity turned around and called for Mythic. “Mythic come here please, I’d like you to meet these three.” Mythic sighed and walked back into the building, he lazily made his way to Rarity’s side. “I’d like you to meet, Scootaloo, Applebloom and Sweetie Bell. Applebloom is Applejacks sister and Sweetie Bell is my sister.” Mythic smiled and waved to the three fillies. ‘Thank sweet baby oh lord! I’m … not safe she could still have a man, stallion whatever the term is. Still screwed!’

“Girls, I’d like you to meet Mythic Rune. He is a friend of mine and just moved into town.” The three fillies gave Mythic a smile and waved back at him. “Like I said before I don’t mind you playing around in her dears, just keep it down ok?” They all nodded in unison which made Mythic chuckle in amusement. “Now then, I’ll be upstairs working on Mythic here. I ask not to be disturbed, come with me Mythic.” Rarity leads the way and walked up the stairs on into her own room, but Mythic stood there as the little ones rushed all around him. They wanted to ask him questions but they had to much, so mythic clamed them down and told them he’d answer one each.

Sweetie Bell went first. “How do you know my sister, sir, she never said anything about you?” Mythic pondered for a moment. ‘I don’t like to lie per say, but I’ll tell her the vague truth.’ “Well, I helped Rarity out in a tough spot a while back and that’s how we met. I’m sorry Sweetie Bell, but I can’t go into detail about what happened, she doesn't likle to talk about it..” Sweetie bell nodded and stepped away from Mythic, next was Scootaloo.

Scootaloo walked up to Mythic and stared at him. She analyzed his whole body. “I don’t mean to be rude sir, but why do you have stripes like a zebra?” ‘Damn it, I didn’t think about that, why I got so much attention back in the market? Think, think, thonk!’ Mythic cleared his throat. “Well my little Pegasus, were I come from it is not normal to have these stripes. But they are important because it tells those around me that I’m uhmm a great um magic user, that’s right a powerful and great unicorn. For you see i was born in a temple were monk would study the old ways. But that’s a secret between you and me.” Mythic then winked to Scootaloo who raised an eyebrow but quickly nodded in acceptance.

It was Applebloom’s and her friend, gave Mythic a once over. “Why ah got them shirts on ya lik’ that?” ‘A decent question.’ “Well I have these here shirts on like this because I have bandages on, but the injury was very bad. So it makes me feel better to have them covered up my dear little Applebloom, but I had small shirts so I tied them up to cover the whole thing.” Applebloom jumped to Mythic’s side and studied the makeshift wrap that covered his hurt wings. She raised a hoof to pock at it but Mythic jump over to give him some space. He panicked for a moment and quickly shuffled to the stairs. “Sorry little one, but the doctor said it would really hurt should I be touched in the side. Bye now!” He shot for the door at the top of the stairs and shut it closed as he went in. The slam spooked Rarity as she shuffled mannequins and fabrics, causing everything in her magic grasp to fall to the floor.

“Mythic, why would you slam my door, you made me drop everything!?” She was in vex.

“Sorry Rarity, the little ones were asking me questions and I had to lie, to an extent. But Applebloom was about to touch my wing so I freaked out! What if they knew, huh? You heard Twilight before; I can’t show my bad boys off, at least not yet anyway.” He tried to use logic to calm Rarity down. “Should we start? I really want some clothes; I just don’t know how you ponies do it, not wear clothes all the time that is.” As mythic spoke he turned his head back and bit the shirt that was closest and tore it off with his teeth.

Rarity lifted up all that she dropped and sighed. “All right you can stop that, I’ll handle it.” Using her magic she untied the remaining shirts off Mythic. “Now come over her so I can measure you properly.” As he walked over he smiled and chuckled to himself, making Rarity confused. “What is so funny?”

Mythic now stood in front of Rarity and just kept smiling. “You were going to use magic this time? We don’t want a repeat of last time you were ‘measuring’... or do you?” He twitched his eye brow and laughed a little. Rarity blushed a little and hit him on the head with a roll of blue fabric, making him wince. “Oi, that hurt to an extent there little missy.” She shot him a glare. “Ok, ok sorry. But seriously, can we start now?”


After about three minutes of silence, Mythic started to make small talk. “So~ anypony in your life right now?” ‘I just can’t stay quite, huh?’ Rarity finished measuring Mythic’s legs and spoke nearly unfazed by the question. “Not right now, no darling.'Oh thank god!' Why, are you offering?” She gave him a playful wink.

“See Rarity, now you’re starting to understand my psyche, but no. I’m just making small talk.” Mythic smiled.

“Oh well, how about you Mythic. Did you leave a love behind?”

“No not really, my family yes. But other from that, not too much of an impact i’ll be leaving back on earth. There was this one girl that… never mind.”

“No tell me, I wish to hear it.”

“[sigh] Alright, there was this one girl, Lacy, who did like me but it was, awkward. You ever had a stalker?”

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