• Published 20th Dec 2013
  • 13,268 Views, 705 Comments

To Love A Non-Brony - The Forgotten Host



TD and Celestia. Without a doubt one of Equestria's greatest rivalries. Imagine Celestia's surprise when she is asked out on a date by none other than TD.

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Breaking Breakfast

“Enjoying your breakfast TD?” Cadance asked the human sitting opposite to her on the ridiculously long dining table. TD nodded while taking another spoonful of cereal. Despite her distractingly garish appearance, TD and Cadance were getting along surprisingly well. Cadance took interest in human culture, while TD loved how it wasn’t Twilight Sparkle levels of obsessive, or any kind of obsessive for that matter.

"I never thought cereal could ever taste so amazing,” TD said after he gulped another mouth full. “Though I can’t help but get the feeling it tastes familiar. What’s it made of?”

“Oh nothing special,” she said while grabbing the cereal box and showing off its back contents as if she was in a TV commercial. “Except all the essential ingredients needed for a properly nutritious meal.”

TD wanted to raise an eyebrow at that but decided against it. He was too hungry to care about anything but his meal.

Just then, a paler than usual Blueblood lumbered into the dining hall, his mane and tail surprisingly unkempt, his eyes bloodshot, and his teeth yet to be brushed. In his less than spectacular state of mind, he sat right next to the non-brony, not even noticing his presence. He did however, notice the pink alicorn sitting in front of him.

“Oh Cadance,” he said in a tired, yet miffed voice. “I thought I told Auntie Tia to ban you from entering the castle.”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “You do know Aunt Celestia won’t do everything you tell her to do, right?”

Blueblood narrowed his eyes slightly. “The only reason I did that was because you embarrassed me in front of everypony in the Canterlot Garden Party.”

Cadance smacked the table with her hooves as memories she wasn’t very fond of began resurfacing in her head. “Embarrass you?! You were the one who decided to court me in front of Shining Armor!”

“Shining Armor…” Blueblood groaned. “I can’t stand to think of that scum. I’d rather spend my valuable time thinking about that nightmare I had last night where I shared wine with TD Harrison Powell.”

TD stopped pouring milk into his fifth bowl and stared at Blueblood, very much disturbed. “Um… what?”

Blueblood’s eyes shot open and he turned his head in the human’s direction so fast, his neck almost fractured. He proceeded to fall of his chair while squealing like a little girl. “What is he doing here?! The likes of him should be denied entry on Canterlot soil!”

“TD is a guest in our castle,” Cadance said with a scowl. “He doesn’t need to be harassed by a spoiled brat like you.”

Blueblood returned her scowl. “Save your lies for somepony who would believe you. What gives him the right, staying in my castle, sitting in my seat, eating my Hay Bits?”

TD silently ate and watched from the side lines, not bothering to speak due to his lack of energy. But as Blueblood used the words ‘Eating’ and ‘Hay’ in the same sentence, he paused, and his eyes grew to the size of dinner plates. He grabbed the Cereal box to check the brand. Sure enough, the words “HAY BITS” were printed in big red letters. To add salt to the wound, above the brand was a picture of Cadance smiling and winking at him.

TD began to hyperventilate. “Uh… Cadance?”

Cadance kept her eyes locked on Blueblood, who kept his eyes locked on her. “Don’t worry TD,” she said in a determined voice, not aware of what was happening to the non-brony. “I got this.”

He tried to speak again but couldn’t find the strength to utter a word. As his head fell on the dining tables, he mouthed something inaudible. If one could read lips, he/she would know he said.

“I hate alicorns.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Luna and I walked through the hallway of the castle to the dining room. The night guards had ended their shifts, and it was an hour before the day guards replaced their posts, so the hallway was empty. Luna had dried her tears and was back to her original self, if a little down. Yet our roles were reversed as I was the one who was keeping an eye on my sister.

“How are you feeling, Luna?” I asked in motherly voice.

She sniffled, but cracked a smile “We are faring better, sister. Thank you for asking.”

“Well good,” I said with a nod. “You know, if keeping me in check was that difficult Luna, you could have told me sooner.”

Luna shook her head “We would not dream of disappointing our beloved sister. Thy pain is our pain. We would never let personal gripes come in the way of making sure thou remained safe and sound.”

“Thank you Luna.” I wrapped a wing around her as we walked “I really appreciate your help. And now that Cadance is here, we can finally breathe a sigh of--”

I was interrupted by what sounded like a heated argument. We quickened our pace and it was apparent that the two voices belonged to Cadance and…

“Blueblood…” I almost hissed “I swear to Faust, the only thing that can set off my temper more than that colt is if somepony fed TD hay.”

We reached the dining hall and as I gazed through the door frame, I had the sudden urge to slap myself in the face to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. Blueblood and Cadance were quarrelling among themselves like school yard fillies while TD was lying with his head on the table unconscious with a box of Hay Bits next to him.

Horrified, I levitated the box close to my face. Thank Faust, it only contained a minute amount of the advertised product. I would have breathed a sigh of relief if the atmosphere wasn’t so chaotic.

“BLUEBLOOD!” I roared, earning their attention.

He squeaked in fear. He should have been afraid. “Aunti--”

I practically slammed a hoof in his mouth to silence him. “No, I’ve had enough of your insolence for one day.” I pointed towards TD. “TD is suffering from an allergic reaction from the Hay Bits. Get him to the infirmary and give him an allergy shot.”

He gasped as if he were offended. “Why should I--?“

I brought my face close to his until it was only an inch apart. “Finish that sentence, Blueblood. See what happens.”

He nodded reluctantly and levitated TD’s unconscious body out the door. As he did so I turned my attention to Cadance, who smiled awkwardly with an audible squeak.

“Ehehehe… Oops?”

Luna coudn’t decide whether she should facehoof or shake her head. So she did both.

Author's Note:

Edited by BronyWriter