Twilight gets stuck in the day she hates most - Groundhog Day. Can she figure out a way to get out? Or will she be stuck forever?
Only tagging Mane 6 and Spike, don't be surprised when there's a lot more.
Based on the movie Groundhog Day. Which I do not own. Yet. I also don't own MLP: FiM. Other than Twilight I do own the picture as I made it. Please don't sue me D:
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A classic comedy staring Bill Murray combined with ponies? Instant win!
This is awesome so far, however the pacing is rather quick, and you could add a bit more detail.
319770 will do. Thanks for commenting!
Slow that brain train down!!! Other than that you have a good story, just please slow down and add some detail. What people are thinking, especially Twilight. Describe the Groundhog day celebration in more depth seeing as that's a very important part of this story. Also as a side note, it's Fluttershy not "FlutterShy" Can't wait to read more chapters!
319818
I agree with Legacy. This definitely has a ton of potential. Maybe not add more detail, just have more events happen throughout the day or something like that.
I like the idea of it, but as the first commenter said, it's too quick. Look at how the movie went: the first day was actually one of the longest parts of the movie. It sets precedents, events to be comically repeated, things at which he grows more and more frustrated. Remember all the scenes merely leading up to the part where he finally sees the groundhog? That annoying guy Ned Ryerson from his hometown and everything else? And then the day went on and he continued to sidestep his way through ever actually having to care about any of it. The whole point of the movie was making him come around and instead of caring about NOTHING that went on that day, he had to care about EVERYTHING. This is possible because of how much is shown to be going on that day; we need a more eventful Ponyville on day one, and I promise you the rest will come more naturally as a result.
The concept is here, but you need more detail. Keep at it, though!
The concept is nie enough, but... The execution was pretty "meh" honestly. There's no reason Twilight shoul d get stuck repeating the same day over and over again- at least, none that is apparent as of yet. Nothing important happened that day (sure, it's Groundhog Day, but it was a pretty non-descript one, as nothing unusual happened), apart from Twilight hating the day.
Iirc, the protagonist of the movie is a big jerk, to put it mildly, and the loop isn't about making the perfect day happen so much as maKing him a better person as a whole. And this really doesn't work for Twilight. Her only flaw shown so far is that she thinks it's a stupid holiday- and honestly so do I. It's an understandable opinion and not one worth performing great feats of magic over, imho.
So that leaves making the perfect day happen. Except that you completely glossed over the rest of the day's happenings. We don't know what happens the rest of the day, and it really detracts from the story as a whole. This isn't a movie, you aren'T stopped from showing the events by things like money problems or time constraint to shoot scenes. Always try to be inclusive, rather than exclusive, when writing.
other than that good luck.
319838, 319840, 319849, 319850 319873 I haven't ever been to a groundhog day cermony thingy XD and it's been years since I've seen the movie. I'll probably get it and watch it again, to refresh my mind. I mostly wrote this up because I'm constantly thinking up ideas, and if I don't do something with them immediately I'll never do anything with them (I know, stupid, but my brain is a giant mess
). It is very likely I'll redo the chapter before submitting another, so don't give up hope on me yet... 
319886
Now that I really give it some thought, I think the first day should probably even span several chapters. The groundhog event at Fluttershy's place by itself could have been longer than this entire first chapter combined. Work on descriptions, details, and character interactions. What kind of celebration was going on at the festival? Who was there? Is DJ P0N-3 doing the music?
Twilight doesn't approve of the holiday, but she also didn't do much to earn the torment of reliving it until she gets it right. If the point of the story is to learn a lesson and for her to become a more tolerant pony, then perhaps you should show some not-too-flattering sides of her character during this first day. Have her lash out at somebody, openly ridicule the event to someone who cares about it. Maybe Fluttershy keeps trying to pull her into the festivities, despite Twilight clearly not being interested? As a result, perhaps she finally gets fed up and yells or says something nasty and hurts Fluttershy's feelings? There's a lot to go on here. And all I've been talking about is the event itself. There should be plenty of scenes both before and after the event during the first day. There are tons of cool details you could be including here if you really wanted to, and since this is a story...well, why not? I hope this helps clarify a bit.
And yes, you should probably watch the movie again before revising this chapter. I'm sure you could draw all sorts of inspiration from it!
Good luck!
Awesome movie, pretty good story so far. But like your other story, its too fast paced. It's how I imagine Rainbow Dash would write
fanfiction.net/s/7523099/1/The_Best_Night_Ever
an example of a Groundhog Day loop story done in an awesome way, just for reference.
319849 Wellllllll HEY there! Don't you remember me?
319896 Not surprising, as I always end up being most like her in personality tests I suppose
319894 thanks for the advice. ...now how to get the movie without ordering from netflix... I'm too impatient for that
319899 thanks, I'll check it out.
I love these fics. Looking good except for what has already been noted by others. On a related note, there is another Groundhog Day/MLP:FiM fic:
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/11/story-best-night-ever.html
In which Prince Blueblood relives the night of the Grand Galloping Gala, many times. How many you ask? Very, very, very many times.
It has him burning down Canterlot, making toast in the bath, asking Sweetie Bell to accompany him to the Gala, bothering to learn his servant's names and much more.
Give it a read, it's well written, entertaining and might give you some ideas.
319912 Just google "[name of the movie] megaupload", it usually works, although not strictly legal I guess
319925
I'm happy you linked to that. I'm new to this community and only watched my first episode two weeks ago, so I've missed most of the best stuff out there so far. It looks like a fun read for me, and on top of that it's a great example of what I was trying to say!
Ten arbitrary points for being awesome!
Read The Best Night Ever. There's a right way to do this story. To be honest, you've set yourself up for inevitable comparisons with one of the greatest and most beloved MLP fanfics of all time, and right now the comparison is not favorable. You need to invest far more effort into this.
319953 well Equestria Daily is pretty much the place to be for quality news and fiction about FiM. Alterntively, check out the tvtropes page, it's good and has a good list of FiM fanfics recorded.
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagicNonCanon
Be warmed though, prolonged exposure to tvtropes may cause ruined life and developing non-understandable vocaboul ary, and you'll enjoy every minute of it.
plus it tends to spoil the plot of the fics linked there, so reading the strictly necessary is advised.
319975 lol you're the third person to say, and link, that. Perhaps a lil' more attention to previous comments is in order?
320010
I already visit both those sites regularly, but I simply haven't the patience to dig through the infinitely deep archives of ED's ten-or-more updates a day. Most of the stories I've found that I like so far have been either featured on ED in the two weeks I've been around, or I stumbled across them randomly on this site. I actually never thought to check tvtropes for a fanfiction page, though. I also didn't notice that you linked to Best Night Ever first, so I suppose my earlier thanks also goes to you.
In any case, thanks for the tips!
320037 i guess it's my fault, as I'm typing on mobile now and i have trouble formatting text
This felt kind of rushed, try expanding a little more the first day and try to give a little more details. Also don't tell us how much Twilight dislikes Groundhog day, "Show us" with her actions, in the way she speaks to others, etc.
If you continue this fic, can I expect a crazy twilight kidnapping the groundhog and jumping of a cliff? that's one of my favorite scenes.
321608 yes you can! It's my favorite parts too... in fact one of the main reasons I decided to write this
321608
I think there's a lot of stuff to expect. Not just rehashed scenes from the movie either (though references can't hurt anything; that movie was fantastic). We already know Twilight's capable of going pretty crazy over very small problems. Imagine how hard she'd lose it in a situation like this. Especially once she realizes there will be no consequences whatsoever to anything she does. In the similar story I read earlier today, Prince Blueblood is typically very calm and composed, making it his life's goal to look good in every situation, and he still lost his mind and burned Canterlot to the ground. It didn't matter. It would all be back tomorrow and nopony would remember a thing. I can see her doing all sorts of crazy things, possibly up to and including freeing Discord himself. Why should she even care? She'll wake up in bed on the same day tomorrow anyhow.
I also think that once she finished going berserk and killing herself and destroying Ponyville in various ways, she'd be smart enough to take the opportunity to read every single book she can get her hooves on. She seems the type to spend a few hundred thousand of the same day reading the entire Imperial Archives. After all, didn't Bill Murray's character eventually do something similar and start reading every book and learning every skill he could? He was basically the most well-read and masterfully skillful person in more or less every available craft by the end of that story.
The whole goal, of course, is to make her a better pony at the end of all the chaos. All the fun in between is just there to keep things awesome as she moves toward that goal.
321720 And keep in mind, the main problem with doing ANYTHING in the movie is he was stuck in a little dinky town. Twilight Sparkle can TELEPORT. The scale of epicness shall itself go beyond sizes and just be EPIC!
321836
Haha, can't wait for Twilight to know the name and entire life story of every single pony in Equestria.
321846 sure sounds like something she'd do. ...read ALL the books!
321860
She's a huge dork and that's why I love her.
321889 positively adorkable!
321720 i think your assertion about the crazy stuff Blueblood does is wrong- the "no consequences" phase came before, where he bedded Spitfire and married Sapphire Shores and probably gave a pass at every single eligible mare during unseen loops.
The suicides and razing Canterlot come after, as he thinks "will this ever end? Just make it stop..."
heh. If you squint, you may just see the five stages of grief playing out.
i don't think Twilight is the type to abuse the no consequences thing, but then agaIn who knows? It depends on how many loops she would've gone through already.
321836 except that Twilight is never shown teleportin more than a few meters at time, and dependin on how draining it is on her magic it may simply be easier to walk.
However, Canterlot is pretty close, so it's not unthinkable she'd decide to walk the way there ad borrow books from the library every day.
Or maybe abuse her relationship with Celestia an ask her to send this or that book as personal favor. It's not like anybody will remember, right?
sorry if I nag so much, but I like to help impRove
323480
To be honest, I had only read the entirety of one chapter and the first half of the second at the time I wrote that. I'm currently reading chapter five as I eat my lunch. It's actually an even better story than I had given it credit for, even if a few scenes are almost direct ponified versions of scenes from the movie, restructured to work with this setting and cast (actually, I enjoyed those scenes particularly well not only for not being word-for-word reconstructions, but still maintaining the original intended message). My point remains though, since really your issue with it was a bit of a nitpick: the character needs to be shown letting this situation get to them. When Blueblood admits all the horrible things he's done, not only does Celestia not fault him, but she agrees that she'd likely go through something similar. Anypony would, and I don't think Twilight is much of an exception. You're forcing a hell of incredible magnitude upon a character; I hold that after so many repetitions, it's nigh-impossible not to snap at least once or twice.
I'll concede that it wasn't done solely because there are no consequences. Again, I wasn't actually more than about a third of the way through the story, as I was also busy with other things yesterday. Past a certain point, everything he did became out of desperation. It wasn't until the second half that he started to really calm down and to approach the situation analytically. And yes, the five stages of grief are very, very present.
323480 well, yes, but Celestia teleported all the way to Ponyville, so it obviously IS possible, and the confines of magic haven't (as of yet) really been established, so there's no proof she CAN'T teleport a long way away. Perhaps she doesn't because you have to be absolutely certain of the place you are going. Don't want to teleport into a new apple cart or something. If it's the same day over and over she can make sure a place is safe to teleport to...
Or who knows? Maybe she can use a temporary growth spell on Spike and have him send her somewhere or something... I dunno.
323591 well we can't rule out Twilight finding just the right spell to do it (whether it is long-range telepotation, magical book-snatching or whatever)
and Celestia is, well, a goddess. Normal rules shouldn't apply anyway, and we don't know how far she was from Ponyville at the time.
but yes, there's no real proof she can't, however I wouldn't use it as proof she can unless you can give good reason.
323569 I didn't mean that Twi wouldn't snap, I meant she doesn't seem enough of a jerk to take advantage of every pony she knows and, say, bed all the stallions and mares in town just because nobody would wake up next to her.
323644 Time is looping because of a magical groundhog. I think I'm fine.
I'll still come up with some good reason.... somehow...
323644
Maybe not specifically do that, no, because it isn't within her set of interests. She's a geek, and the things she'd do would likely be very dorky. But I don't think a person (or fictional pony, for that matter) exists who wouldn't do something a bit...different, given the appeal of no consequences whatsoever. I'm sure some fun things could be imagined without requiring a break from character.
323644
The longest distance that I can recall Twilight teleporting is in the Ticket Master, from someplace in Ponyville to the library. Since she was running somewhat away from the library, at least at first, it would be a safe bet that she was some distance away.
It's also been shown that she's gotten a lot better at teleporting. In S1E2 she takes 13 seconds ,from start to arrival, to teleport 10-20 meters and she arrives dazed. In the Ticket Master she takes around 4 second, in Applebuck Season it's 3 seconds and in Lesson Zero it's approx. 0.5 seconds with no fatigue or dazing. Nothing says she couldn't string together 20 or so teleports to get her to Canterlot.
...I was curious and bored one day and decided to time her teleports, so sue me.
321836
Is this story dead?