The moment the pill was swallowed, the gigantic stallion began to glow with an nigh unholy light. His eyes and mouth began to burn with a visible red glow. It didn’t take long for Cauterium to figure out exactly was Doc was doing, and fleeing was not a bad option under the circumstances, but it would have been futile at best to flee, suicidal at worst. Yet in was in this window of dread that a gleam in Cauterim’s eyes made his thoughts all-too-clear, what was simultaneously his doom could also be his greatest boon – his chance to rid of himself of the pesky “Cerchen” with but one final effort.
Doc’s body began to morph, the flesh boiling and convulsing, writing against itself in an unnatural was; it was almost as if a his skin had attained its own sentience and arbitrarily decided to “abandon ship” by wrenching itself of his body. Cauterium bit his lip, his expression betraying his inner apprehension – an apprehension for both how dangerous Power Pill was, and how Cau could use it to his own advantage.
“Dzis seems bad…” whispered Narcissus, shuffling his hooves in place. Cauterium was utterly oblivious to his friend, he was far too concerned with studying the various nuances of Power’s form.
Power’s body continued to convulse, his expression locked into a small smirk that just screamed “I win, you lose!” His fat cells hardened beneath his flesh, losing their water, and morphing into pure, unbridled and unapologetic muscle – the cantankerous bulges stretched his flesh to its breaking point; purple scar-like stretch marks along his joints made it self-evident that it was not the first time his body had endured such stress.
The new masses of flesh coiled around his limbs, his body looked like a funhouse mirror version of itself, its size would almost be funny were the stallion’s eyes not as they were. His eyes followed in unnatural suit, his pupils were consumed by the rest of his eye, turning a sickly milky-white hue; the sucking-in blackness of what were once his pupils turned into seething glow of white, like the corona of the sun.
Narcissus dug his tongue into the roof of his mouth. “Damn. This EES bad…”
Claude Gravenstein ogled the new mass of stallion he now faced. His expression contorted into a mix of disgust and what could have been mistaken for dread – not that Claude even knew the meaning of “dread”, only that he could make others feel it.
“What’s wit’ that, egghead? Can’t fight without eating some weird drug of yours?” he mocked, utterly unconcerned with what might as well have been his upcoming destruction. Doc, or rather what was left of him, merely grinned – a sick, twisted, sadistic-bordering-on-masochistic grin, he entire maw was bared open as though he was a carnivore savoring its prey with its eyes. A flick of a slavering tongue across his lips only complemented the ghastly visage.
“Ya know what? Bring it on! Size don’t mean nutin’!” bellowed Claude, issuing a challenge that might as well have been the ringing of a death knell.
“What are you doing, you moron‽” shouted Cauterium, his own teeth bared into a grimace. “Get out of there now!”
The fleshy abomination utterly lost itself, barreling at Claude like a freight train hunting a small child stuck on its track. There stood a solid ten meters between either pony. In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, the fleshy mass was upon Claude.
As the writhing, slavering mass came face to face with Claude, even he couldn’t deny how poor his choice of words had been. He held firm his ground, his blood pressure skyrocketing – the only sign of possible apprehension. His attempts to throw myself out of Power’s way were a dismal failure at best.
With an almost supernatural sense of precognition, the living horror course-corrected itself, twisting in a way that no living pony should be able as he – or rather, it – spun around and bucked Claude in the ribs. An audible crack broke the otherwise silent battlefield.
Claude yelped, suppressing the noise to where it was little more than a loud grunt as he was forced onto the ground. The abomination towered over the fallen Apple. With a grin so large it threatened to tear his face in half, Doc rose his forehooves off the ground, curling them back at the elbows for what he was about to do.
Azure’s eye bulged. “Doctor! Doctor! No, wait! No!”
The Doc paused, taking a moment to look at Azure as his smile died, making it clear he not only heard but understood Azure. Then the smile reappeared, his eyes swiveling back to the twitching body of Claude.
Doc made a sound, a terrible, deep, guttural sound.
Cauterium found himself at a loss for a comparison to the ound ,having never heard suc a horrible sounds equal in his life. It was sound so wretched, it had likely never been audited since ponykind had first crawled out of the primordial stew and into the muck of shore, a sound uttered by the primordial abominations that stalked and hunted ponykind’s first ancestors.
It was the sound that stallions claw their own eyes out to, that makes mothers smother their foal lest they endure the terror of whatever uttered such a terrible sound. A sound that nopony would blamed for if one voided their bowels in their entirety to. A noise that gelatinized blood. Were one to hear it, the only rational option – and the first to come to mind – would be suicide via one’s own hooves.
And it was the sound that he made.
The Doc dropped his forehooves down with a terribly force, his hooves stomping on Claude’s injured form. Claude suppressed a howl as Pill rose himself again, his smile tearing the edges of his lips and leaking a viscous crimson fluid too slow flowing to be blood.
“Pleaze! Ztop it!” Azure screamed, the horror mounting into a palpable mass in her throat and in her eyes.
Again, and again, Power stomped on Claude. Doc’s weight would normally have been enough to crush most ponies. At double his normal weight and with a homicidal intent, his force was enough to murder anything short of an adult dragon. Again and again, Doc stomped, his smiling tearing more and more of his face.
To Power, the task was simple. To him, it should have been like killing a frog. The motions he made were like what happens when you step on a frog, pulling back at the last second as not to get frog on your hoof; its organs are forced out the nearest gap, causing it to vomit out the entirely of its organs, or, barring access to the mouth, will come out of impromptu holes. To his astonishment, this is exactly what did not happen.
In the blink of a disbelieving eye, Doc backed up from his prey. His teeth were stained with the black ooze stuff, the glow from his throat giving him an otherworldy look on top of his abominable muscles.
Doc took another step back, allowing Azure to see Claude's face, and when she did see it she gasped.
“Please, sir, may ah have another,” Claude chuckled, his face betraying nothing of the pain he should have been experiencing. Claude Gravenstein was smiling, his grin almost as twisted as Power’s. “I’m feeling up for another massage.”
“How did he survive that..?” mumbled Cauterium, his eyes polluted with incomprehension mixed with a boyish amusement. “It appears he was even a better choice than I had ever imagined.”
“Pleaze, doctor! Ztop! It’s all drug, not you!” Azure shouted, loose tears streaming down her face. “You’re not you! You’re not you!”
Claude ambled to his hooves, joints snapping with audible cracks. It became all too clear that the snapping were not of joints but the crackling of broken bones. Claude’s ribcage could only be described as “all wrong”, his body caving in on itself at several junctions.
Doc snapped his jaws shut, inhaling a large breath, only to unleash that same, awful sound.
“This. Is. Bad…” mumbled Cauterium.
Azure clenched her jaw shut, her eye tightening together as they drowned in a sea of salty tears, the same tears that lapped her now glistening cheeks.
The sky crackled, the air surged with an electric charge, exploding into of ball of lightning – a crimson, blood-red lightning. Something, some unknown being of same color, barrel forth from the lightning, colliding with the flesh abomination. With a bone-shattering force, Power was thrown into the air like a child’s ragdoll, flying into a nearby tree and breaking the ancient oak in two.
Cauterium’s jaw fell slack as a gray pegasus stallion materialized before him, an aura of Teslic lightning swirling about him like a hurricane, the stallion being the eye of the storm. Something pressed against Cau’s hooves, and looking down he saw that it was Claude, a very, annoyed Claude at that.
“Who are-” Cau tried.
“Not time for chit-chat!” interjected the newcomer and eleventh hour Samaritan. He made a lightning-quick gesture at the fleshy horror, Doc doing his best to amble out of his newfound daze. “I say we oughta get our sixes outta here ASAP.”
“Agreed,” responded Cauterium without missing a beat. He darted his eyes to Claude. “Can you run, Claude?”
“Barely,” growled Claude. He rose to his hooves, but unlike last time, his stance was as shaky as a newborn foal; cuts and bruises coated his body, giving him the almost comical appearance of what he was on the inside – a rotten Apple.
“Then follow, we haven’t the time for pleasantries.”
*****
“A-azure…” croaked the Doc, his very body fighting against himself to stand; deep inside, the effects of his drug were still burning him up with an inequine hatred, his mind barely able to hold onto any semblance of sanity.
“Yez, doctor?” Azure replied, her words struggling not to trip themselves up
“Bring me… white, round pill… from saddlebag…”
With a dutiful haste, Azure galloped over to Doc’s saddlebag, such that it was being that huge portions of it had been rent asunder by his transformation. Opening the bag, she searched through it with an ardent fervor. And then: “Here it iz!”
Teeth chattering and pulse pounding, Azure levitated the aforementioned white pill to Power Pill. He nearly choked on the briny ichor and foam of his mouth as he forced it all, alongside the pill, down his gullet.
A minute of utter silence, then Doc began to vomit. It was a fetid black fluid, but it was far less viscous that it had been earlier. The salty foam coursed out of his throat and nose, drowning his face in his own internal contents. More than anything else, it made Azure want to lose her own lunch – not that she had eaten lunch, which is what probably saved her from joining her boss’s action.
“A-are you alright, doctor?” asked Azure, her face turning green as she grimaced at him.
Doc’s body began to converse into an epileptic fit. Azure had to physically hold herself back, she knew full and well how bad an idea “helping” him would be. The indignant coils of muscles began to twitch under his skin, dissolving as the Doc’s lactic acids ate them away; the leftover substance being turned into the foul ichor he was vomiting. The milky-white of his eyes receded to their rightful corners, his pupils seeing the light of day once more.
“Thanks… mu-much better…”
Azure could do nothing but stare, biting her lip and grimacing as she gawked. “Doctor…”
His eyes murky with a foul haze, his mouth stained black, and his body spasming, he angled his head to look at his subordinate. “Azure…” he sputtered, his mouth not even bothering to obey him. “I... I’m sorry… Looks like my latest upgrade was a huge... horrendous mistake...” He flashed her a shallow smile, his teeth stained worse than those of a lifelong smoker.
He coughed, a raw, hacking cough, like a smoker’s – if that smoker had the habit of swallowing razor blades every hour on the dot.
“Doctor…” said she murmured, struggling to look into his eyes. “What just happened? I-I’ve-”
Doc made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a pained groan “I.. I put some berserk power into it; I thought it’d give me the extra ‘oomph’ to beat them. It didn’t do that at all...” Neither pony spoke for what felt like ages. “A-anyways, do we have any... any idea who that pegasus was?”
“I don’t know, Doctor. I don’t think we've a dozzier on him.”
He glanced around surveying the fallout of the recent encounter. “Seems like our relations have failed us.” He snapped his jaws. “But now we are certain that Cauterium is guilty. This is incontrovertible evidence in a court of law.”
“What are we going to do now, doctor?” said Azure, her expression twisting with apprehension. “I’d bet they’ll be even harder to zniff out. ”
“But now we have all the probable cause in the world to seek everypony’s – and indeed, anyone’s – assistance. There’s no way the Princess will deny us this.”
Somepony groaned, grabbing the attention of Azure. She galloped over to the wounded grunt. “Are you alright? Any broken bonez?”
“I-I’m fine,” answered the pegasus, his tone betraying the fact that he was lying.
Without warning, his facemask broke apart like an eggshell, revealing the face of a young stallion; his coat a dark-purple, a white mane, and with deep sapphire eyes. Streaks of red were scattered over his face, leaking a crimson fluid.
“You’re not fooling anypony,” Azure replied, her tone bone-dry. “You’re not alright at all.”
“Leave it, Azure,” the Doc sighed. He pointed to the stallion, little more than a colt. “You, what’s your name?”
“Q-quickstep, Doctor!” he replied.
He offered the colt a warm smile – ignoring his black maw, that is. “Go to Ponyville. Find a medic there.” Doc surveyed the field, eyes absorbing the details of the carnage. “Scratch that. Get the whole hospital and bring them here.”
“Y-yes, sir!” Quickstep staggered to his hooves, taking to the sky in the general direction of Ponyville.
“Zo, what are we going to do with Cauterium, doctor?” piqued Azure.
“Time to play a little ‘Cops and Robbers’.”
*****
Rainbow Dash sighed, flying upside down, her gaze transfixed on the great blue yonder. ‘Finally, this boring job is over!’
Her day had been one disaster after another. First her job with clearing many squares miles of the clouds, then that Crimson Thunder whelp. She did her best to forget about Crimson Thunder, and it had worked like a charm – not thinking about things, after all, always solved her most pressing problems in the past.
The sweat she had worked up was beginning to make her feel off. Dash failed to see a reason why she couldn't relax in a nice bath – no, forget that. No nice, girly baths for her. She had to do it in the most awesome way possible, preferably involving a sizable body of water.
Dash smirked, her target acquired. It was a large speck of blue on the ground. As she neared it, she found herself frowning. While to say her memory was spotless might be a slight exaggeration, it didn’t explain how she had never seen this lake before. Surely she would have seen it before, right?
Regardless, Rainbow dashed toward the lake. She glided just above the cool drifts of water, the edges of the water occasional splashing at her hooves. Darting her head over her shoulder, she noticed the streak over the water made by her low pass, an effect that caused her to smirk.
She performed an over-the-top loop, ending up with a nosedive into the lake not unlike how a seahawk would hunt for fish. While not exactly the best of ideas for a pegasus, it was hard to deny just how well a pony’s wings could be used under the surf. After all, air was a kind of fluid, not in the liquid sense, but water operated under the same principles – at least that’s what she learned from science class (and the only thing she could even remember about that dumb class).
Dash performed a mock, slower version of the aerial tricks beneath the clear blue of the lake. From loop-the-loops to barrel rolls, going as far as to have a pretend dog-fight with herself. It all ended when her lungs began to scream for oxygen to the point where she could no longer ignore its deathly pleas.
A light blue head popped from beneath the cerulean waves, accompanied by lazy gasp of breath. Ever the judge, Dash deemed herself “clean” (for certain values of the word), and made for the shore to dry her wings. She came up by a small outcropping of rocky promontories, the rocks themselves being strangled from view via luscious reeds and cattails amongst other lakeside flora.
There came the sound of voices, quiet at first, but they rapidly grew faster. As Dash sunned herself upon a rock, her wings flared out as to catch the most light, herself lying belly-down on the hot stone, she found herself overwhelmingly curious.
“Not like they’d mind,” Dash mumbled to herself, a devious grin on her lips. She stood up and tip-hoofed nearer to the sound, ending up with a single eye woking out through the reeds to her ‘company’.
*****
“Get away from me!” Claude bellowed, taking a step backwards as Narcissus approached him, a pack of bandages in his grip.
“Godiche, moi ees just trying to ‘elp! You 'ave dislocated your shoulder! Eef we leave eet as eet ees, you won’t be able to walk properly!” insisted Narcissus, his tone flush with irk.
“I don’t need yer fancy medicals to fix mah shoulder!” snarled Claude, taking another step backward.
“Oh, dzen show moi ‘ow you can fix dzat,” he mocked.
Claude grinned. “Watch.” He dropped his body to the ground, thus allowing him free use of all his limbs. In a move that would make a contortionist jealous, Claude extend his left foreleg, pinning it with his left hindleg, and pulled. A sick, wet pop followed as his arm extend a little too far. He twisted his right arm, placing his forehooves of same side to his shoulder, shoving at it with all his considerable might. Another wet pop followed, accompanied by Claude pulling his limbs free of the tangle and standing up.
“Godiche! Dzis trick will damage your body!” He grimaced. “Ten bits says ‘you incorrectly popped dze are back’.”
“It’s called a ‘foreleg’, pretty boy,” Claude replied in a know-it-all tone.
“Een every ozer language een dze world, dze word for ‘forleg’ eez literally ‘arm’ (‘bras’, een my native French), and eet ess a much for rational way of saying eet.”
“As if I care, sugar boy,” Claude almost casually replied.
“Ok, but ‘ow ‘bout your ribs? Dzey are clearly broken,” chided Narcissus.
“They are fine! I don’t feel a thin’!”
Narcissus tackled Claude, an action that Claude evidently failed to anticipate. Before the sour Apple could even protest, Narcissus had jabbed a hoof into his ribs.
“OOOOOOW!” Claude howled, curling into a ball.
“See? You’re feeling something after all,” chirped Narcissus, grinning as he leapt off Claude.
“I’ll kill you!” shrieked Claude. Though ‘shrieked’ might be an inaccurate tone, it was more like a high-pitched whimper trying to dam in a rush of extreme pain.
“Will you two shut up for just one minute‽” Both Narcissus and Claude jumped at Cau’s bellow, shooting either a look that would make Medusa jealous. Satisfied that they would shut up for at least a minute, he turned his attention to their mysterious Samaritan. “Why, then, Mr. Crimson Thunder, did you save us?”
“That’s a stupid question, dude. Even I can’t stand looking at somepony brutally killed by some crazy monster,” Crimson replied, shrugging. He gave Cau a ‘look’, which Cau dutifully returned.
“Oh, and by the way,” Crimson Thunder started, “being that we’re not safe (for certain values of that word, anywho), I’d like to talk about a little something-something for my efforts in saving your sorry asses.”
Cauterium’s expression shifted into a devious and sly smirk. “I have an idea on that, but first.” He looked at Narcissus. “Narcissus, give to me the A.H.M.D.”
“On it, beau!”
Narcissus pulled small device from his aether, pressing a button it it he caused it to activate. Cauterium levitated device to himself, his expression turned into enigmatic grin as he examined it.
“AHM-what?” Crimson tilted his head to the side as he stared at Cau.
“You see, my young friend,” Cauterium explained, his tone woefully sardonically. “This is one of my inventions: Anti-Harmony Measuring Device. A.H.M.D. for short.”
“Yeah, that eases all my woes,” Crimson remarked, scratching his head with a forehoof.
“Cau’s expression turned nigh-sadistic. “Yes, and you see, the device is getting a particularly strong reading from you.”
“Meaning?” Crimson deadpanned.
“And now, about your price.”
Narcissus and Claude put aside their differences, but not before snarling at each other, and took up positions to either of Cau’s flanks. All three stallions gave Crimson their own signature looks – confident smirk, a grisly-grim grin, and an arrogant smile.
“Hey,” said the pegasus, his eyes shifting between the stallions, his stance changing to one of nigh action. “Why are you looking at me like that?” Cauterium poked Crimson in the chest, eliciting a bark from the pegasus. “Hey! No hooves, old mustang!”
“Say, what do you like – no. What do you need more than anything?” inquired Cauterium, his expression giving Crimson goosebumps.
“To have fun,” he replied without missing a beat.
“And what do you hate most of all?”
“Boredom and repetition.”
Cauterium’s grin turned downright sadistic. “Then I have a perfect payment for you.”
“Whaddya you mean?” Crimson asked, tilting his head.
“What if I could offer you paradise; what if I could offer you freedom from boredom; what if I could offer you the powers of a god – the kinds of power that even Celestia fears?”
Cauterium’s eye shone of a light of their own as they gazed into the depths of Crimson’s. The pegasus winced, his eye feeling somehow violated and even pained.
“Beau, your eyes,” sussurated Narcissus in Cauterium’s ear.
Cauterium shook his head. “Sorry if I-” he paused to chuckle, a deep, menacing chuckle “-startled you.” With a hard blink, his eyes went back to a normal pony’s. “Point is: I can give you what your heart lusts after most – freedom.”
Crimson raised an ear to Cau. “I’m listening.”
Cau grinned, beginning to walk around Crimson.
“Aw, come on, dude! I haven’t got all day!” whined Crimson, but Cau continued to inspect Crimson as if to determine his worth as chattel.
“Is he always like this?” whispered Claude to Narcissus
“As far as moi knows, yes,” Narcissu replied.
“Say,” Cauterium finally began. “Ever wanted to have the ability to tango hoof-to-hoof with, say, Princess Celestia – and win?”
For a moment, the silence was deafening. “You speak of high treason against the crown. A act that I, as a law-abiding citizen, would probably almost never-except-on-rare-occasions do,” Crimson replied, his tone wary.
Cau smirked. “Yes. Yes it is.”
“And yet you persist,” Crimson mumbled, his eyes shifting to the ground. He stared at his hooves for a solid minute, and then his expression curled into a maniacal grin. “How could I ever deny such persistent... requests?” Claude and Narcissus exchanged glances at the sudden reversal of moods. Crimson offered Cau a hoof. “I think we can reach an-”
“Alright, THAT’S IT!” bellowed a mare’s voice.
All four stallions jerked their heads towards an inconspicuous patch of tall grass and reeds. There, damp with what looked like a thick coating of morning dew, stood a furious pegasus. Her coat light blue, her mane and tail an impossibly scope of rainbows. Her eyes, the color of a brilliant rose, bore down on them all them an unimaginable ire.
another epic chapter and a horrible cliffhnager. This is so gonna be worth the wait.
469061
Don't worry, there shalt be a lot of cliffhangers
469149 Oh, well alr- Ey! That's not a good thing!
And an interesting chapter as well. They find another member and Rainbow is biting on more then she can chew, so the latter is nothing new.
Only real complaint I have about the story is, the overly dramaticly long description of Roy's cry when he was a berserker. Waaaay to long. I actually skipped a paragraph just to get on with the story. Otherwise, the doctor's fight was pretty nice.
469543
Yeah, that was my fault. I wrote that whole giant section part.
Rainbow you might be awesome but please please get your flank out of there fast
I've wondered this plenty of times now but who's the main character in this story anti harmony or harmony ?hmmmm?
RD's gonna kick some flank..... hopefully
Dash, I think it's best if you just leg it and tell the others instead of rush in.
473907
Well, both of them :) Fact is, i like villians :) Villians are my favorite part of every story i read/watch, so that's why i spending so much time trying to develope their characters. But formally, Harmony are mains :)
474651>>474485
Wait and see
Tnx all for your comments!
Nice chapter again, Stalin. I want to hear that roar, and RD needs to get out of there now... this is getting really interesting...
477023>>477317
Thanks, guys! My amazing editor currently need to edit chapters 2,3,4 and i will submit to ED
another good chapter, can't wait for the next.
besides a few missed periods and such, there wasn't much wrong with this, and i thoroughly enjoyed it.
But,
Roy’s wight would normally have been enough to crush most ponies,
I think you meant 'weight'
490476
Heh, looks like Editors making mistakes too :). Thanks! But can you point where exactly these mistakes are?
491298 It holds wonders beyond the imagination, Spoke. was in chapter 2, using ctrl + f should make finding it easy, and Roy’s wight would normally have been enough to crush most ponies, was in chapter 5. need more detail as to where it was?
And no problem
493351
Eh, Microscope is not a guy who was in 1st chapter, don'cha know? :P
493373 Illogic trumps through all logic! I see in the future...
503091
Wow, you met the requirements of maximum-quality art+stalinview before i even post them! Say, my dear friend, if you shall finish review on the rest chapters, i shall make you (if you want that is) a maximum-quality art AND a stlinview! Check my latest blog post for details and thanks for your assistance!
503199 You're welcome.
503262
Hovewer, it didnt gave me an answer to my question ;) Would i expect full-pledged review on other chapters?
503284 I'll try, but they probably will vary in length, due to the contents. The first one was really long, because there was so much to say about it. Hopefully, the others will be the same.
503302
Thank you!
503302
By the way, chzpter four is underedited. We are currently making big cjhanges in it. I think it would be better if you'll read chapter our tomorrow
503341 Alright, I'll stop on three for today.
503387
Well, it's just story beginning . A setup, an introduction ect. I can't and won't explain EVRYTHING in first three chapters :).
Oh, by the way, didnt Claude said that he just stopped on his way to Appleloosa? He didnt traveled to them exactly, he just passed by and decided to visit his relatives
503393 And now it's time for Bum Reviews, with Junebug L. Bum
*Junebug walks up and clears her throat* OH MY STARS THAT WAS THE GREATEST VISIT I"VE READ IN MY LIFE!
There's this stallion, who's really grumpy and doesn't really like other ponies,
so on his trip to Appleloosa he decides to walk all the way to Sweet Apple Acres.
And Apple Bloom is like:
"He's going to eat us."
And Applejack is like:
"No, he's not...He's just going to do unspeakable things."
"And those are."
"UNSPEAKABLE!"
So, they prepare for his arrival and then he comes in. All the while, the Apple family is trembling in their hooves. Even Big Mac. *scratches head* Geez, you'd think he'd be more confident with his family around.
Anyway, Claude, the grumpy stallion,
Hey, you could make a song out of that.
'Claude the grumy stallion
Always called everypony names'
I can make a fortune on these and buy a better box.
So, Claude walks in and he's like:
"Err, I'm mad and you're not saying anything, so goodbye." *walks away*
Story arc, over.
Now that was the greatest visit I've ever seen in my life, Even though he only stayed a couple of minutes.
But that's the best part. I never liked it when people stayed at my home for long. They'd eat my food. Though, Chester's an exception. *blushes*
And Claude was a rememberable character, even though he didn't do anything and just established what his character was, but who cares.
This has been, Junebug L. Bum saying, *holds out a cup in her hooves* CHANGE! YOU GOT CHANGE! Oh, come on, give a mare some change.
Come on, I'll buy some food for that guy who never eats any.
503427
Chester A. Bum has an outstanding role in Suburban Knights :)
503439 I know. That scene reminded me of the scene with the bridgekeeper in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. (Loved that movie.)
(And Junebug L. Bum is mine. She's a character who appeared in a scene with Spike, you know, his birthday and she had a couple of flower bags. I don't know why, but I eventually viewed her as the bum of Equestria...I'm planning on doing a few fics of her and, hey, she appears in Resistance: Equestria as well....That and yes, I'm going to write Chester as well.)
503446
Better write Spoony! I like Spoony most of all bunch!
503447 Let's see, I've had thoughts of Dr. Insano, I'm doing his impersonatin of Terl in my Chaotica story, Yeah, I"m going to write him as well.
What godly form of writing is this??? Considering english was not your first language (it wasn't mine either), your word choice is magnificent! Right from the beginning, your prose drew me in. Antiseptic white. Death. How intruiging. I have the elements of disharmony in my story too, but they aren't really opposites. I chose Greed, um...let me check for a moment *leaves the room*...5 minutes later...*comes back* Okay! They're Fear, Anger, Sadness, Greed, Chaos, and Confusion. In my opinion, your elements are better. I'm just too lazy to change it. I think that a better font for your cover image is required. It seems too simple, too plain, where as the picture in general is flashy. Font is important!
504113
Heh, MY choice of words was poor as kenny. It is my awesome editor/co-writer to thank! :) As for font... eh i never been able to work with them
Anyway, thanks!
507961
DUDE! TOO EARLY! TOO EARLY! WE HAVENT FINISHED THE EDIT YET!
I loved the description of the Roy's roar. It sent goosebumps down my spine. (I tried imagining him...Terribly brutal. Made me think of my own character, Ravager.) (I wonder, were you inspired by the Hulk while making that part. Because it certainly rings a bell.)
Cluade got the snot kicked out of him.
And now, Crimson's on board. That's four down, two to go.
(Also, I really love the interactions between the group. It seems their becoming...aquantances, to put it that way.)
Dash is a spy. (But of course.)
I can't wait to see what happens. (To be honest, I really don't care for Dash.)
I would also love to see how the other characters deal with her. It'll show their character personalities a bit more.
Until next time.
Sincerely,
Evo
507986 Sorry. I thought you finished. You said tomorrow. (Why do I always come in on the wrong time? I'm an idiot.)
507994
You've just had to wait till i've said it. Don't worry, just read it again :) we are making ALOTTA changes
507994
I'll contact you whence it shall be ready and thanks for a comments!
508018 YOu're welcome.
You've obviously noticed I have little patiance...It's a character flaw.
508023
Chapter four edited!
508325
I'd glad you liked it. After all, as Stalin's super-duper co-author, I'm glad you appreciate my modifications.
509455
Thank you very much! Althou all you pointed here should be adressed to my editor :)
510059
Thank you a lot too! You deserved best-quality art from me!
508325
Same goes to you, dear friend! Make your comissions :)
511047
Damn right I will.
Super-editor/co-author Crushic, AWAY!
You wanted a comment, so here's a comment. media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmuk7efud31qidsbp.gif
512244
Tsk tsk nah, that wont do it
512293 I'm reading everything now anyways. I'm having internet issues, so I might not be able to comment properly after I've gone back through the chapters.
Edit: This makes a second comment.
511047 Shall I message you, or something with the request?
512513
Just pm :)
You need to make more cliffhangers to infuriate people. The Psychopath requires this form of prank, and so do I.
516129
Do not worry, there will be I like cliffhangers
516311files.sharenator.com/fuck_yea_When_memes_collide_RE_Interwebs_Internets_Competition-s508x395-88087-580.png
519373
Why hello there, I'm Stalin's co-author, taking his calls while he's away.
Narcissus is sort of a, ooh, how do I put this gently... A drama queen rivaling Rarity. I actually cut down down on a lot of his silliness when I was editing 0 Narcissus singsonged half his lines.
Being the one who worded 'infamous' into that, that's probably my fault. But to be fair, that's how I thing of them - a little band of renegades operating outside law. After the whole "Gabby Gums" incident, 'infamous' and 'notorious' seem like apt uses of the words. Though I think the real issue there was that I was being tongue-in-cheek with that, which, I guess, is harder to realize when it's in print and not dialogue.
I actually indent all his paragraphs when I edit them in Gdocs. I honestly don't know why they're not indented as of now.