• Member Since 11th Jul, 2011
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Vanner


I'm just a regular person who enjoys writing, and encouraging others to write as well.

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Princess Celestia sends four adults ponies out into the world. They find that just because it's not your destiny to save the world, doesn't mean a goddess won't ask you to do just that. This story follows the tale of Pokey, Redheart, Cheerilee, and Medley as they find out what it means to sacrifice for the greater good of Equestria.

Chapters (16)
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Comments ( 29 )

I love this story! You're building the four ponies wonderfully through flashes of their character, like Medley's maternal instincts kicking in with the piglet. You should check your spelling and grammar a bit more, but the story itself is wonderful. Keep it up!

...I'll be honest. I was really into it when first reading it. However, when Spike gathered his Elements of Diligence... I'll be honest, everything went kinda dumb. While it does seem like a Spike thing to do, I honestly think the reason of gathering these ponies reached a deus-ex-machina level of plot device, and Celestia's dialogue for the most part seemed out of character to me ("Who is this intrepid bunch?")
But I kept reading.
I can see that the adults are getting along real fine and quick, and while Twilight's sudden loyalty change near the end was also a bit out there, She brought about a lot of good points that finally convinced the adult ponies. You've molded a differnt personality between the ponies very well and very quickly, which is great.
So while the dialogue could use a bit of work, I look forward to reading the rest of the story, and to find out the reason why Celestia let Medley and co. take on this dangerous quest!

Wow.

This story is really hitting home for me, and I can't really figure out why or how.

Great characters - I really believe them - great story, and I'm really enjoying the fact that I have no idea what's to come at the end of each chapter, without resorting to cheap cliffhangers.

Please keep up this great work!

Love this story, its very well written and i feel the characters very well, can't wait for the next chapter! ^-^

Good Chapter, can't wait for the next, keep up with the good work ^-^

Another good chapter, only a couple of minor errors. Right before the end they were talking about the 'Nightmare Moon' incident, you left the "t" out of Nightmare, just wanted to point that out, and as always keep up the good work ^-^

Hell yes. I should've started reading this a long time ago.

Oh my Celestia, so much awesomeness.

Redheart turns into Medley in the middle of her conversation with Dr. Sun.

Awesome story, epic quest. You really fleshed out the character of what are essentially background characters really well too.

Hah. I read the first chapter and I was instantly hooked. You did an amazing job with this, and with so few comments I just wanted to make sure you get the credit you deserved. I read the first chapter a couple hours ago and honestly could not put this down until I read through to the very end. I LOVED how the characters developed -- Cherilee went from a flustered schoolteacher to a sort of seductress at the end! A lot of parts left me laughing, and even more parts left me smiling. I enjoy very much how Medley progressed, even though at times I felt like it was a bit sudden. You did very well at justifying this, though. I really liked the whole divine-journey spin that it had, and I felt like it gave it a source of conflict that wasn't cut and dry like I see in a lot of other stories.

Pokey was such a great character to read for me. I didn't always agree with his decisions, but I feel like I almost learned with him through his mistakes. He was the most believable and interesting character for me, even if he never really had closure on his dreams. I did anticipate his "goal" at the end, though. That definitely did not ruin it for me though.

I think I liked this so much because you took an epic tale and you portrayed it from the eyes of believable, flawed characters, even when it came to the goddesses. Sure, it was a little bit silly at the beginning, but I reveled in that! I love stories that take an interesting or whimsical topic and turn it very grand.

Overall I want to thank you because I think I learned a lot from this. Not every story has to have epic plot turns, grandiose battles between good and evil, and drastically changed plot lines to be interesting. And not every character has to scream "I'm Unique!". You truly can make a special character out of normal qualities.

I really feel inspired from this work.
Bravo, Vanner.

Okay, this looks like it will be a brilliant piece of literature, I just have one complaint. The 'Elements of Diligence' seem to be making a major point of how the Elements of Harmony should be doing this simply because they always seem to be willing to drop everything and go. I'll admit, I raged a little bit here. There are plenty of reasons why the Elements of Harmony should also be put out by any Royal Requests. Just off the top of my head - who do you think looks after Sweetie Belle and Applebloom? Yes, Rarity can give Sweetie back to her parents, but I get the feeling that them going on holiday, as I beleive they did in SisterHoof Social, is more the norm. And AJ can ask Big Mac to watch Applebloom... but Medley can also ask her husband to look after Potpourri.
I actually did a slightly more in depth breakdown of why each of the Mane Six would be put out (except Fluttershy), but it seems a bit excessive for what is most likely going to be just whinging that will never be mentioned again. If you are not convinced, however, I will gladly post it for you.

124166

The elements of Diligence, as you'll come to find out, is something that Spike made up on the spot. There isn't such a thing, though you'll find that the ponies gathered are, in their own way, supposed to be on the quest.

I'm surprised I came across this on Fimfiction purely by chance. This was actually the first fic I ever read in the fandom (originally saw it on EqD) and it really inspired me to start my own work. I just wanted to thank you for that.
BTW, I really love the story. It was amazing.

Damn good story, well done. Solid four stars.

I consider this one of the top FIMfics I have ever read, and a major piece of worldbuilding in my headcanon. Thanks for writing it!

According to tvtropes, because this plan was explained to the viewers, it will fail...

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

"The prophecy had changed"? Fascinating idea, one I don't think I've come across before, even in all my years of reading fantasy.

That was a GOOD story.
...we never did find out what Pokey's cutie mark meant, did we?

Good story, but I'd suggest stopping with the "Celestia's sun" thing, it's getting annoying even for me. Try just saying "the sun" instead. ;)

Pokey is my favourite character in this, for sure. xD

That was absolutely beautiful, it made me cry. :heart:

Man... looking at old favorites, and... Wow, does this bring me back!
6th story I EVER faved here! :twilightsmile:

It's really a shame some of these older stories don't get new attention these days!

This has always been one of my favorite stories. I love the four characters and their interactions with each other; additionally, the worldbuilding is marvelous, and the side characters all have their own charm.

hi hi

I read this story a long time ago, and there were parts of it that I never forgot, and others that I wanted to remind myself of enough to go back and read it again. I suspect that perhaps some years from now, looking back fondly on the adventures within, I may end up yearning to read it again.

No idea how an old fic like this has less likes than my new one does, but I wanted to say, this is the fic that convinced me that Fanfiction could have the quality of a novel.

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