Chapter Two
Equestria Jinxed
Chapter Two
Yep, you heard me right. Short, multicolored horses. Well, I guess the proper term would be ponies, then. Ponies walking down the street, ponies shopping at stores, ponies running stores. Ponies in tuxes and ponies in dresses, ponies in nothing at all! Old ones, young ones, and everything in between. The weirdest part was that a lot of them had horns on their foreheads, some had a pair of wings on their backs, and some were just regular horses. Except, you know, short and colorful.
I freely admit to being rooted in place for several seconds due to shock alone. Finally, a coherent thought ran through my head: I don't think I'm in Piltover anymore...
Once my brain finally managed to reboot itself, I realized that some of the ponies were staring at me. With no other options occuring to me at the moment, I stepped out onto the street. Somehow, this action seemed to attract the attention of every single pony in the vicinity. All of them stopped what they had been doing to stare right at me. I hesitated, unsure of what to do. Finally, I went with the first thing that came to me. Clearing my throat, I gave a little wave to the crowd as a whole. "Umm... Hi?"
Suddenly, they all turned back to what they had been doing. Traffic went from a standstill to a steady flow just as quickly as it had stopped, and shoppers and storeowners alike went back to business. It was so methodical; only one word occurred to me that adequately described it. Creepy...
With nothing better to do, and seeing that the ponies seemed to have little to no interest in me, I decided to walk around for a bit and see more of this strange new place.
Stepping out into the flow of foot-er, hoof?-traffic, I followed along with the current, which carried me off to the right from where I had been. It was certainly odd, walking along with creatures around half as tall as I, but I had been around enough Yordles to not be too unnerved. Before too long, I had passed by the park and was now surrounded on both sides by stores. They were typically two or three stories tall, though there were the occasional standouts.
As interesting as it was to see what kinds of things ponies bought-I honestly had no idea what use a buch of probably sentient horses would get out of saddles, but there you have it- I really wanted to get to an open area where I would be able to get a better look around.
Finally, my wish was answered. I reached a large, open area with a fountain in the middle. It almost looked like a town sqaure that you might find in a smaller village back on Runeterra. The fountain had a large marble statue of one of the ponies, this one with, strangely enough, both wings and a horn. The statue-pony also bore royal-looking regalia, including a crown. Maybe there's some kind of link between these additional body parts and their status? I breifly mused. The pony was just standing there, so I couldn't really get any other clues.
After a moment of wondering, I continued looking around. As interesting as this whole place was, it was quickly starting to get a bit boring, now that the initial shock had worn off. Besides, I was staring to miss not being the only human in the city.
Finally, my gaze alighted on something that could serve to make this day more interesting. Namely, I found a nice, low-hanging sign. Glancing around to make sure I had enough room, I took off at a sprint. When I was close enough, I jumped and grabbed on to the sign, then used my momentum to swing myself into the air.
After a full two seconds of air time, I landed on the roof of the building next to the one from which the sign hung. Now with a one-story vantage point, I was able to see much more of the city. But that wasn't enough.
The wall next to me had a nice big window on it. Thankfully, I had plenty of experience with getting around a city, and recognized a handhold when I saw one. I climbed onto the windowsill, then on top of the window, giving me easy access to the second-story roof.
Finally, I was able to see over most of the buildings around me. I turned slowly in a circle, taking in the sights. Most of my immediate area looked pretty simmilar to what I had already seen, and I spotted the park where I had started a ways away, off to my right. To my left was what looked like a residential area, with more space between the buildings. It was when I turned around to look behind me, however, that I saw something really interesting.
A huge, white castle rose up above everything else in the city, topped only by the mountain behind it. Huh, I wondered. How'd I miss that?
I studied it for a while longer, but then my mind started to wander. Huh, the designs on that part of the castle kind of remind me of the Sun. Speaking of the Sun, how long have I been here? It's pretty low in the sky, now. You know, I bet this is the longest I've ever gone without blowing something up. Ooh, I wonder what this city would look like on fire?
Ever heard that old Demacian saying about idle hands? Well, mine had been idle for a while now, and I was ready to do something with them.
Crouching down, I readied Fishbones. While I was doing so, I wondered where I should start. Standing up, I once again noticed the statue in the middle of the fountain below me. That'll do.
With Fishbones over one shoulder, I took a good long look at the statue, trying to guage where to hit it to cause maximum destruction. Blowing stuff up is like a kind of art form, when you do it right; it takes a lot of effort to perfect destroying things in the most spectacular way possible, after all. Eventually, I settled on hitting its side, hopefully sending peices out in all directions. Luckily, I was already perfectly positioned to do just that.
After lining up the shot carefully, I pulled the trigger. There was a bit of kick as the rocket launched, flying straight towards its intended target. I saw a couple of the ponies look up just before the rocket collided with the statue, confusion evident on their faces. That confusion quickly turned to shock and fear as an explosion rocked the square, sending bits and pieces of marble everywhere. The lower portions of the statue's legs remained affixed to the stone below, but the rest was blown apart. The entire middle of the main body was transformed into nothing but pebbles and dust, while the rear end broke into several pieces that smashed through walls and windows, and one that nearly smashed into a winged pony, who barely flew out of the way in time. The front portion broke into many small chunks, a couple of which actually did hit unwary ponies. The statue's head, however, landed completely whole a few feet in front of where the statue had stood.
After the dust had settled a bit and I got a really good look at the destruction below me, I couldn't stop the laughter that burst out of me. I dropped to my back on the roof I stood on, and rolled back and forth, laughing aloud. That was great! Now, what's next?
Once my laughter had faded to giggles, I stood up and wiped a tear of joy from my eye, looking around for another good target. Below me, the little ponies were running around in a mass panic, all trying to get as far away as possible while screaming their heads off.
Before I could decide on a good next target, I was distracted by a number of ponies pushing through the crowd towards me. Each had a coat of pure white, and was covered head to hoof in golden armor. Several seconds passed before the regular ponies had all dispersed and only the armored ones remained, standing at the base of the building I was on, staring up at me with identical scowls.
One of them stepped forward and shouted up at me. Unfortunately, I don't speak horse, so whatever it was saying was completely pointless. It didn't take me long to get bored of its voice and the strange language it spoke. By that time, it seemed to be rather annoyed at my lack of response. I hadn't noticed before, but it seemed that all three types of pony were present among the armored group. I realized this at last when the winged ones spread their wings as if to take off.
At that point, I made a snap decision. Aiming quickly, I fired another rocket from Fishbones into the midst of the group. Of course, those closest to the point of impact lept out of the line of fire, but it did little good. The rocket hit the ground and exploded, the shockwave sending the entire tight-knit group flying. Even those who had already taken to the air had their flight messed up by the wave of heat and air, and went crashing down.
Leaping down from my perch, I stood amongst the groaning armored ponies. It didn't look like any of them would be getting up any time soon: all of them had been thrown around pretty badly, and many of those closest to the explosion looked pretty singed. I surveyed the destruction I had wrought with pride. Two rockets had turned the area from a nice square with a fountain into a mess of rubble and pain. Not my best work, but pretty good, all things considered.
After taking some time to admire the destruction, I decided to move on. That big palace would look great blown up, I thought. So, turning towards the direction I remembered it being in, I headed out.
Having seen how much better a part of this city looked after being blown up, I decided to improve the rest of the city on my way to the castle. Fishbones fired left and right as I travelled through the streets. Occasionally, I chucked a Flame Chomper or two at something that looked flammable. I was leaving a beautiful field of fire and destruction in my wake.
I must have lost track of time during my little stroll, because it seemed like too short a time later that I stood before the castle. It was even grander in person, and had the effect of making me feel way small. However, the most important thing at the moment was the huge crowd of armored ponies in front of the castle.
Those without wings were lined up in neat little rows on the ground, while the winged ones had, predictably, taken to the air. They carried a variety of weapons, from bows and arrows to pikes to shortswords and even a greatsword strapped to the back of one in particular. Almost all of them were arrayed in full armor, with the exception of the greatsword pony. He alone stood without a helmet, and his armor was more decorated. He was obviously some kind of leader. Since he wore no helmet, it was easy to see his blue mane blowing in the wind.
As I drew near, he took a couple of steps forward, and began what was probably some huge rant about "bringing me to justice" or whatever. A rant which I was spared from hearing due to my inability to understand their language. Anyway, I can confirm that yawning really is the universal sign for boredom, because Blue-hair got the message real fast. He growled something at me, then shouted something else to his troops.
I didn't give them long to react. Fishbones was strapped back on my back in short order as Pow-Pow revved up. The ponies had just stared marching forward when the bullets started tearing into their ranks. Evidentally, Runeterra is not the only world to have the technology of magical armor, as attested to by the lack of blood as the ponies dropped. It seemed like the armor was protecting them from actual injury, but I was still knocking them out from the force alone.
It didn't take me long to wipe out their front lines entirely. In fact, it was rather underwhelming. Well, I guess it wasn't entirely, since Blue-hair was still up. He shouted some more, and the remaining ponies on the ground started to fall back. A one-on-one, eh? I couldn't help grinning evilly. Bring it on, Blue-hair.
He made the first move, his horn glowing pink as his sword was enveloped in a pink aura and slid from its sheath to float by his side. Then, he lowered his head to point his horn right at me as he advanced. He kept up a moderate pace, closing the gap but not charging at me. He was clearly trying to keep my attention, but it wasn't going to work. I had already noticed that his airborne troops hadn't fallen back with the rest, and were all aiming bows at me.
Many people would have panicked in my situation. I didn't. I did, however, take the time to stick my tongue out at Blue-hair before tuning both my attention and Pow-Pow's barrels skyward. The fliers weren't expecting an attack, and the first few dropped like rocks as they were knocked out. Before long, they were all scrambling through the air in a very disorganized manner, trying to get out of the line of fire. I shot down at least a dozen more, and that's not counting the few that ended up colliding with eachother midair.
I was too busy reveling in my outsmarting of the ponies to realize that I had forgotten about Blue-hair before it was too late. One second, I was shooting at flying ponies, the next, I was stuck in a pink bubble. I knew a magical force field when I saw one, there was no point in trying to break out.
Blue-hair gave me a smug grin as the bubble I was in lifted into the air. I was hit with a startling realization: the whole thing had been a double-distraction! He had planned on me seeing the archers all along! He turned around and started walking towards the castle, my cage trailing behind him.
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I saw the title and immediately wanted to read. Unfortunately I'm on break right now and have like five minutes to do so. Will read upon returning home.
In the meantime, I'd just like to say I hope you support my OTP of JinxXFishbones. Or JinxXPow-Pow. Or Pow-PowXFishbones. Really as long as the shooty ones are involved I'm happy.
Anyone else waiting for Discojinx?
I....
I been waiting for this story for quite a while...
That... Is a lot of comments. (At least compared to what I'm used to.
3680696
But as I said, I'm flying by the seat of my pants here. I have only a vague outline of what is to come.
Fear not, there will be plenty of Fishbones and Pow-Pow to be had.
3680712
Am I the only one who doesn't know what you're talking about?
3680806
I...
I had no idea this was so highly anticipated.
3680816
Well, why the hay not?
Write on,
Legion
3681095 Oh.....well basically, I just want Jinx to meet up with Discord, see the chaos that ensues, bother Celestia, etc... You know, good stuff :D
3681775
Ah.
I hadn't considered that...
Write on,
Legion
" i have the BEST intentions!"
"awww c'mon, whats the worst that could happen?"
Interesting premise, well written, and I really want to see what happens next. Helloooooo new story!
JINXY JINX JINX my favorite crazy lady. Also good job with the writing it was pretty epic keep up the good work.
Please update
3740738
I've already posted everything that I pre-wrote, so updates will be sporadic and probably pretty slow from here on out. Sorry.
Write on,
Legion
" I'm flying by the seat of my pants with this one" made me laugh a bit more than it should have. I love that saying.
3845806
As do I.
Hence why I used it.
Write on,
Legion
Love the story! Keep it up
4453245
You're right, of course. I guess I've just been holding out hope that this will suddenly become popular and someone will offer to make a custom cover art.
Write on,
Legion
I was expecting more of a reaction from the ponies, but then again the Canterlot elite seem to have their heads stuck so far up their asses that it wouldn't be too surprising for them to just shrug off a human as being beneath them and not worth their time.
Jinx... if you hurt Octavia you will die a slow death, here me? You should, since you're breaking the fourth wall.
Eh, while I don't particularly agree with that, especially since Jinx's minigun seems to be a ridiculously high calibre by barrel bore size, I guess it makes a good way of keeping the story from being too dark.
Overall though, pretty good, Jinx can be more eccentric if you ask me though. Oh, and also: update please.
4453299 Eh, I don't see anything particularly wrong with just using the actual character background art for Jinx, as it's pretty epic.
na.leagueoflegends.com/sites/default/files/styles/scale_xlarge/public/upload/jinx_splash_0.jpg?itok=9HoIOJWF
4453453
Yeah, I really didn't want to write one of those "Champion arrives in Equestria and kills everything" stories. And the reason I'm taking so long to update is that I'm having a hard time properly capturing Jinx's... Well, Jinx-ness. I might actually have to go for a re-write at some point...
Thanks for the comments!
Write on,
Legion
4453479
Why did I never think of that?
Write on,
Legion
4453525 Because you're a silly author?
4453493 Yeah, I'd make her more eccentric, after all Jinx is pretty much insane.
Ded?
4677314
Not dead, just really freaking frustrating to write. I dunno what it is about this story, but I can't seem to get anything written for it. I'm considering just putting this thing on Hiatus and doing a full rewrite of the chapters I already have, 'cause nothing else is working for me.
Write on,
Legion