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The Beginning1,765 words
The Scar1,841 words
The Princess2,362 words
The Fight2,449 words
Intermission1,435 words
The Awakening1,922 words
The Kiss1,794 words
The Pain3,080 words
The Punishment2,087 words
The Hero5,230 words
Intermission II1,880 words
The Star2,521 words
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The Ruin2,030 words

The Pain

Entry 233

It's over. all of it's over. I don't want to live on this earth anymore. i've been taking this all my life and i don't want to take it anymore. I can't handle it. Tell my friends that I'm sorry. Tell Eris that I love her.Tell my father to go to hell. I'm leaving forever. Tonight, I'm going into the forest and killing myself. This will be my last entry

Discord woke up early in the morning. The birds were chirping and the sun was out high and bright. A beautiful morning, he hated it already. But he did have a reason to be happy this morning. The Grand Galloping Gala was in seven days and he was ready to ask the mare of his dreams out.

For the first time in years he did something that he hadn't done in so long that it seemed to unfamiliar and strange to him. He actually felt happiness and joy.

Discord got up and got ready for school. Eris was already downstairs eating breakfast. Discord sat next to her and ate some bread with her.

"You're in a happy mood today. What's the occasion?" she asked as she munched on some bread.

"The Grand Galloping Gala is coming up." he said as he ruffled up her hair.

"So? Every year I ask if we can go and you keep saying 'no the grand galloping gala is stupid and so is everything else except for me' and we don't go." she said tryng to imitate Discord's voice. "What reason could you have for wanting to go this year?" she asked him.

"Well, I've met the mare of my dreams and now I probably have a chance with her." he said taking a bite out of some bread.

"Yeah but doesn't she have a boyfriend and didn't you beat him up?" she asked him. "Wouldn't she be mad at you?"

"Its been nearly weeks since that happened. Besides, she's a very nice pony I'll bet that she can forgive me." He said with a smile.

"Welp, whatever you say." she said. "C'mon and hurry up we have to get ready to go to the academy or we'll miss our first class." she said trying to get her bag on.

"What's the big deal? The classes that you have aren't that important anyways." said Discord.

"Not important? Discord, I have an Alchemy class, a Harvesting class and a Magyck class! A Magyck class, Discord! A magyck class!" she said to him. "Besides, you have a Magyck class too?" she asked him.

"Yeah, and?" he said.

"Never mind, I gotta get to class. I'll see you later." she said barging out of the front door.

Discord made his way towards the door when he heard Stormer coming down the stairs.

Discord didn't bother saying good morning to him and exited out of the small cabin. Discord made his way out into the same clearing in the Everfree and began picking some flowers. It seemed sort of Cliche, but he still wanted to do it. The roses in the Everfree were some of the most lush, beautiful roses in Equestria.

Discord prepared a small bouquet of the flowers and put them into his bag. He got up and looked up into the sky. the Everfree's heavy foliage and lush vegetation covered most of the sky but during days as bright as this one, some of the sunlight would seep through the leaves every once in a while.

There were a pack of Ravens circling around the air. A white dove came out of nowhere and picked up a small rat off of the ground and began mauling it. The ravens began to crowd around the rat and began feeding on it as well.

Discord began retching and stuck out his tongue. He decided to get out of there before any more weird stuff started happening.

As discord walked out of the forest he made his way through Ponyville not caring if ponies were staring at him. Most of the time he would keep his head low and stick to the shadows but today he just felt like it would be a great day.

***

Discord walked through the academy courtyard as he searched for Celeste. He couldn't find her anywhere and he was beginning to get worried. Discord looked off in the distance and found her moping and walking slowly through the courtyard. She was walking his way but she refused to look at him for some reason. She had a certain heavenly glow to her even though she looked sad. She was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen in his life and he was in love with her. Discord had an appreciation for beauty.

Discord smiled and began walking towards her. He pulled out the flowers that he had kept in his bag.

"Hey beautiful, whats with the sad face?" he asked as he walked with her.

she didn't answer.

"Listen... I know that this seems abrupt but, I wanted to ask, would you go to the grand galloping gala with me?" he asked her.

"I-I thought... Don't you have somepony already going with you?" she asked him with a hollow, broken tone.

"No. Which is why I wanted to ask you!" he said holding up the flowers to her.

"I-I don't wanna go..." she said. ''Besides..."

"Celeste? What's wrong?" he asked her.

At first there was a short pause then she began to feel a surge of anger filling her heart. "Nothing! Haven't you hurt me enough already!" she yelled at him and threw the flowers on the ground.

Discord simply stared at her confused.

"You already have a marefriend! That whore, Crystal! I saw what you and that bitch were doing! I came to apologize to you! To tell you how I-" she stopped herself. "The point is, you hurt me..." said Celeste with tears running down her cheeks.

Discord's eye's grew wide in realization. "Celeste, Crystal and I... We weren't doing anything. It was all a giant misunderstanding..." he said as he stepped closer to her. "Listen..." he said taking her into her arms and caressing her hair. "You know I'd never hurt you." he said as he held her close to his heart. "if you listen closely all you can here is the beating of my heart... " he said. "And it beats only for you..." he said keeping her in his arms.

Celeste felt her cheeks turning hot red and felt even more tears falling from her eyes. She wanted to hit him. She wanted to give him her anger so badly, but she just couldn't. No pony had ever treated her like this. He actually made her feel like... a princess...

unfortunately, Celeste let her emotions get the best of her. She felt her anger rising again. She pushed him off of her and stomped on the flowers. "Don't you get it!? I don't love you!" she screamed at him.

At this point ponies had started gathering around the two of them.

"I never loved you! How could anypony love a monster like you?" she yelled at the top of her lungs. "Everypony saw what you did to lance! Not to mention that nopony here likes you or wants to be around you because you're a bucking monster!" She yelled at him. "Take your damn flowers and get the buck out of here because I know that I certainly don't love you!" she screamed with tears rolling down her cheeks. "At least... Not anymore..." she whispered to herself.

Discord's heart dropped. This confirmed it. This was what he was afraid of. A tear began to form from the brim of his eyelids. The clouds up above began turning ash gray and the air began turning moist.

"W-What... ?" said discord.

Celeste remembered those horrid images within her mind. That whore Crystal and Discord on the ground sucking away at each others lips. "Just... Just leave me alone, you freak!" she said running away stomping on the flowers once more as she did.

Discord felt a vast feeling of sorrow rise deep within every fiber of his being. He fell to the ground as the heavens above began pouring. He thought that she would be different. He thought that maybe... Just maybe... She would understand. But he was too naive. How could she love somepony like him? He thought maybe she'd see the real him. That she'd be able to look past his features and see his beautiful, happy personality. But she could hardly even look at him. Because the horrid, terrible truth was... when she did... All she could see... Was a Monster...

Discord sank down on the ground as the thunder started crashing up above, and rain fell from the sky. Discord sat there with tears flowing from his eyes and took one of the flowers into his claw. The flower had been crushed to a pulpy white mess and nothing more.

Discord got up and began walking home. He always did like walking in the rain. Mostly because nopony could see his tears.

As discord walked through the streets of Ponyville, the autumn leaves began falling leaving only the branches of the trees. Everypony began making their way indoors due to the heavy rain. Soon enough the rain began turning into a mixture of water droplets and snow. The skies up above gave out a plethora of howling winds and violent thunder crackles.

There was only one question on his mind as he walked through the accursed town, and it was one word that had been bothering him all of his life. It was one that had been so familiar ro him that he decided not to fight his feelings but greet it as though it were an old friend. That question was; why?

Why did he have to live like this? Was it simply because of his features? Was it simply because of the fact that he was different? He didn't choose to be this way. What cruel force of nature could possibly want to see him suffer like this? What sort of twisted, cruel deity would want to shape him this way simply to watch him suffer?

At this point he started to ask existential questions. Some of them were questioning his own existence others simply stated that he had no need to live in this world anymore. He had done his best to fit in perfectly, unfortunately society only accepted those who were shaped in the 'perfect' form. And in the end, Beauty truly did kill the beast. Celeste had helped Discord finally make his decision. He had no reason to live among those who only wished to see him miserable and in pain simply because he was what he was. He had finally decided that death was the only escape from this hell.

Discord sat within a secluded area of the Everfree. He didn't want the nymphs to bother him for what he was about to do. He had in his paw Stormer's old hunting knife. But he wasn't going to do it... yet. All those years of ponies treating him like shit convincing him that he was a monster finally gave him a conclusion that he deserved to suffer simply because he was what he was. Discord gritted his teeth. He was scared but at the same time ready. He took the knife and slashed violently at his wrists.

Discord cried out in pain as tears fell from his eyes. He wanted to keep going but it just hurt so much. He thought that he deserved it that he needed to be punished for all that he has done and for the fact that he was a monster.

He slashed himself once more, He had been a disappointment. Then again, he wasn't able to save his mother. And again, He had hurt so many ponies. He slashed himself violently, he had hurt the only mare that he had ever loved. Everything, all of this. It was all his fault.

Discord dropped the bloody knife and stared at his wrists. He had carved the word 'Monster' on both of his wrists.

Discord ignored the pain, he knew that the deserved this. All of those years that he had contemplated taking his own life, all of those moments of pain and grief, it had finally made him understand. Ponies like him didn't deserve to live in a world like this.

Pain was what kept him from becoming a monster. It had helped him realize that feeling sorrow was better then feeling nothing at all. He had only had so very few circumstances in his life where he actually felt happy. What was the point of living if you could never enjoy it. Death could take his life if he couldn't be free.

Discord hung his head and began weeping and sobbing as he sat there bleeding and crying. He had ho idea where to go from here. There was only one thing left to do...

Discord shivered as a short gust of wind blew by him. He had brought along the hunting knife a small rope and a massive rock. Discord pulled off the necklace that held the harmony element in place. He rubbed the dust and dirt off of it. He wanted to look nice for whatever was awaiting him on the other side. Whether it be his mother and the rest of his kind, the Draconians smiling at him and welcoming him with open arms or if it be an eternity swimming in grief, sorrow and pain, either way he wanted to be ready.

Discord had prepared a short note stating to Eris and his friends that they should live on happily without him and just forget him. He was nothing. Simply a memory lost in time.

Discord closed his eyes and took a step forward. He remembered everything that he had done in his life. From birth up until this point. Every single pony he's hurt, every single mistake he's made, all of the horrible things that he had witnessed.

Discord tied the rope around his ankle and looked down at the murky waters below. It would be painful, yes, however it would be merciful. It would be better than having to live in this world knowing that you are a monster and that you can never change anything about that, ever. Tears began filling his eyes as he gave out a cry of emotion. It wasn't anger, nor was it grief or pain. Perhaps it was simply because he needed to get it out of his system.

He closed his eyes once more and all he could see was her. Her face contorting and twisting in anger. Her mouth spreading wide apart spitting venom at his face. Strangely, even when she looked angry she still looked beautiful.

He tied the rope around the rock as well, making sure it was secure and held tightly in place. Angel Falls, was a very famous spot in the Windigo mountains where most Pegasi would get their rainwater. It had supposedly been the very spot where Equestria was first discovered by General Hurricane, Chancellor Puddinghead and Princess Platinum. Not to mention it was a very popular suicide spot for young colts who had nowhere else to go in life.

Discord was scared, but at the same time, ready. It was a 87 foot drop into the lake below which fed into Froggy Bottom Bog in the Ever free. Discord made sure the rope was tightly secured and held in place. He tied the harmony element necklace back onto his neck and closed his eyes. There it was again her face. Only this time... she had a face showing sorrow and dismay.

"Goodbye, my sweet Princess, forever..." He said as he kicked the rock forward and plunged into the water below.

***

Twilight hadn't even bothered saying anything. This emotional roller coaster had honestly been the most depressing thing that she had ever witnessed. She had read so many romance novels and so many stories about tragic love but none of them could've ever made her cry like she was right now.

Discord hadn't bothered saying anything either. Instead he simply wiped away his tears and hung his head. She had caused him so much pain, that it had driven him to ending his own life. But still, he held onto her like she was the love of his life. Why? What compelled him to hold onto her memory even unto death? Was this what ponies called, true love? it certainly can't be considering the circumstances that Twilight and him just witnessed.

Discord got up and laid an arm around Twilight's shoulder.

"Should we continue?" he asked her.

"I-I... I think that would be best..." she said.

Twilight had honestly felt some sort of confounded hatred for discord ever since she set eyes on him when she first met him during his second coming. She had felt the most divine and natural hatred for him. She had thought so because she had seen him as a miserable, horrid monster. She had hated him for doing what he did to her friends and for what he did to Equestria. But now, she just couldn't find any reason to blame him for his actions. All that he had put up with, all that he had gone through had turned him into the vile beast that he was today. Twilight actually felt some sort of compassion and sympathy for him. In fact the feeling was so strong that she had actually thought of Discord as a friend.

"Discord..." said twilight.

Discord looked back at her.

"I'm-I'm sorry..." she said giving him a warm squeeze.

"Don't be, besides you have nothing to be sorry for." he said.

"Your life... It was horrible watching you get beaten and called all of those horrible anmes, but watching that..." she said as she felt tears starting to form in her eyes again. "At least now i can understand you." she said. "At least now I can call you friend..." she said beaming at him.

He smiled back. it was nice to know that somepony was actually warming up to him for a change.

"Right well, don't start getting too comfortable, besides I'm still a spirit of chaos, so don't you forget that." he said to her. "What you should really be worrying about is how I managed to live after nearly drowning to death..."

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Grymm BlackHeart

Grymm BlackHeart #1 · Nov 13th, 2012 · · ·

Welp here it is! the long awaited chapter! I finished it early just for you guys, I worked through the night and didn't bother doing homework just so that I could get it out for you guys! I hope you enjoy!