My Family and Other Equestrians

by Blade Star

Chapter 57 - Discord's Idea of Romance

It had been a week since everything had happened; since I had finally gotten over my own fears (and perhaps stupidity), and admitted, before the Princess of Love no less, that I liked Applejack. Luckily, the passage of time seemed to have eroded the strange ‘love high’ that had afflicted me in the hours immediately following my meeting with Cadence. Perhaps it was a residual effect of her spell.

Anyway, at this point, things had returned pretty much to their norm, with one or two exceptions. New feelings or not, the farm still needed to be tended to and we were still being kept quite busy. With the health checks done, Mac and I were now setting about felling the trees that didn’t pass muster. They’d be cut up, dried and used for firewood, both by ourselves and sold to others.

Now, as to what was happening with me and AJ. Well, I was in uncharted waters, so to speak, I’d never been in a relationship before, so I was just doing what I thought best; biding my time for now. Our relationship was never going to be the sort of romantic nonsense you’d expect from Rarity’s romance collection, there were certainly no rose petals and chocolates in the Apple house. I suppose you could class our current relationship as that of high school sweethearts. We’d kissed on occasion, we liked each other and it was easy to tell, but I was not doing anything serious just yet. Even at this stage I took great pains to remind myself that this was reality, not a shipfic.

Regardless, I’d both received congratulations from all sides. When the subject of my conversation with Cadence reached my parents via a certain fashionista, I’d been promptly scooped up by my mother and given a death hug (I honestly wish I was a slightly larger pony, just so she couldn’t do that) while my father had, for once, been more subtle and simply smiled at me. I still wasn’t quite sure whether I should thank him or punch him. Lizzie on the other hand just kept asking what on earth AJ saw in me. The Apples’ were equally accepting; Big Mac seemed willing enough to accept the idea of me eventually going out with AJ. AB meanwhile complained that this turn of events affected her plans for ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Matchmakers’.

---

I was currently sitting in Golden Oaks library doing what Twilight called ‘independent study’. In other words, I was allowed to teach myself a little bit today whilst the young alicorn worked on her own magical abilities. In lieu of my interest in dark magic, I had procured a book from the restricted section of the library. I was by no means contemplating using it any time soon, but I believe that if we are to understand magic properly, we must study all its aspects. I was currently examining the title of one of them; ‘Treatise on the Darker Magiks’.

Now, books typically list their author, or authors on the first page, in this case though, much to my amusement, the most definitive of texts went over four whole pages. I began to read it aloud.

“Written by His Most Excellent Imperial Majesty, High King Sombra the Great. Sole Ruler and Emperor of the Grand Imperial Crystal Empire, and the Dominions, Territories and Dependents of the same. Commander in Chief of His Most Imperial Majesty’s Forces by Land and by Sea. First Minister of Imperial Crystal Legislature, Head of the Privy Council and High Lord of the Grand Judiciary and Star Chamber of the same. Governor of the Imperial First City of the Crystal Empire. Holder of the Glorious Crystal Heart and Master of the Forbidden Crystal Palace…” This was as far as I got before I could restrain myself from laughing. “Well, the stallion had an ego.” I said to myself.

I then began to read the actual text, which was luckily not so flowery. As perhaps one of the most powerful unicorns of his day, second perhaps only to Starswirl the Bearded, Sombra knew what he was talking about when he set out to write the definitive text on the subject of dark magic. Call him what you may, but Sombra, who was no more than a unicorn, was in the end defeated only by the two most powerful ponies in the world and then by a magical super weapon. He was no spirit of chaos, he was not an alicorn or other powerful magical being, nor did he use any method to increase his magical ability and power. He was just a unicorn, yet it took the full might of the Royal Sisters to bring him down.

It was something to aim for.

The very first section surprised me, for it verified what Cadence had told me regarding the relationship between dark magic and love. It read as this:
‘Novice practitioners of the dark arts will usually first struggle to manifest their magical energy, just as a helpless foal does the first day they are instructed on how to utilise magic’s lesser forms. The most common mistake to be noted is the attempt to force the negative emotion into the mind.
‘Naturally, high negative emotion, such as strong rage and anger, or hatred is required in order to allow true dark magic to manifest, however forcing these emotions through the use of imaginative exercises will yield minimal results. The emotion, however real it is perceived by the practitioner to be, is nothing more than a fantasy. The mind recognises this and consequently does not respond adequately. In time this problem will diminish as the practitioner becomes better aligned with the emotions in question, eventually allowing them to apply them with almost no conscious effort.

‘But to begin with, it will be difficult for a practitioner to create these emotions and thus to manifest dark magic. To achieve the necessary emotion, a practitioner ought to look to the other side of magic. Ironically, the far inferior magic of love can be of use to a practitioner. A double edged sword, love can be a catalyst for great anger and rage just as much as it can be for tenderness and mercy, allowing the practitioner to achieve the necessary energy.’

I was about to continue with this most interesting of studies, when I was interrupted by Twilight, who had evidently been watching me for some time. Spotting her in the corner of my peripheral vision, I jumped up from my sitting position in fright.

“Twilight, ya scared the living daylights out of me!” I complained. She smiled and did her best to look sheepish.

“Sorry, Blade Star,” she offered. “I came over to see if you wanted to stop for lunch, but you looked pretty engrossed with what you were reading.”

“Well, now you know what you’re like when you’re studying,” I countered jokingly.

“What were you using your independent study time for anyway?” she asked, levitating the old tome away from me.

“Reading up on an old foe of yours.” Twilight examined the text herself, briefly speed reading as far as my bookmark was.

“Dark magic? Why are you interested in that?” she asked curiously. I thought for a few moments before answering.

“Just something we haven’t covered all that much is all.” While I had been taught about the principles of dark magic and used some high level spell with the aid of the Alicorn Amulet, I had never been shown any of the lower level spells. Twilight frowned a little.

“There is a reason for that, Blade Star. That kind of magic can be extremely dangerous,” she paused, hearing the somewhat scolding tone of her voice. Taking a moment to use her breathing exercise she began again.

“Did you see when I was trying to find the Crystal Heart?” I nodded. “And did you see the door Spike and I found?”

“Yes, the door to your worst fears. It kept moving around until you hit it with a blast of dark magic. Though it turned out you needed your kind of magic to actually open it.”

“Right. I used a low level dark magic spell, powered by my frustration, to force the door to keep still. But when I used it, it affected me. By charging the door with negative magic like that, I caused it to show my biggest fear. Low level dark magic is a vicious circle just as much as the higher tier spells; it affects you negatively and encourages you to use it more, until you eventually lose yourself. If Spike hadn’t snapped me out of it, I might have used the same magic in an effort to break the spell powered by my despair. Do you see what I’m saying?” I nodded in understanding.

“Even small uses of dark magic can be corruptive and it almost inevitably leads to you eventually losing yourself.” That was the price of such power I supposed, and also why Sombra was the only one to write a book on the subject. Fewer stallions than he had such a strength of will.

“It’s not that dark magic is something that is never studied, or something we just bury our heads in the sand over. It’s just that you need to be extremely careful. You’ve come a long way with your studies, but even I wouldn’t try using it again.” I sunk my head a bit. However, Twilight levitated the book back to me. “But, while I don’t want you using dark magic, I see no reason why you can’t study it. As long as it doesn’t affect the rest of your studies.”

---

With the completion of our little chat, Twilight, Spike and I headed out of the library to get some lunch. The rest of the girls, Applejack included, had said they would do their best to join us when they could. We were going to that lovely little café that Twilight frequented in her early days in Ponyville. The place was something along the lines of a bistro, but also avoidant of being seen as too like a Canterlot eatery; a decent mix of high class cuisine and good hearty food. And even better, it was almost smack dab in the middle of town, so it made a convenient meeting point.

When the three of us got there, Rainbow was already waiting for us and had got us all a table with Pinkie, who was bouncing around as she waited.

“Hey Dash. Hey Pinkie,” I said as we sat ourselves down on the available cushions. “How’s tricks?”

Rainbow quickly pre-empted Pinkie, who had apparently been talking non-stop for the past twenty minutes on a new cupcake mixture she’d invented. Dash chatted a little bit about her weather work. With the portal sealed, the previously random weather from the Everfree had come to a halt and she’d been able to let her team rest up for a day or so. It had also given her an opportunity to move her cloud home back to its usual spot. Because of the sheer amount of weather operations that had taken place during Winter Wrap Up, her own dwelling had begun to drift westward (apparently a similar thing tended to happen with Cloudsdale) and needed to be towed back.

At that point, Rarity and Applejack arrived. The former had something of a curious look on her face, directed at me, whilst the latter once again had neither Stetson nor ribbons on her head. I might have zoned out for a minute or two. Eventually, when my brain rebooted I heard Applejack speak.

“See, Rarity. Ah told ya he did. Every time Ah wear my mane like this he gets all googly eyed,” she proclaimed. Luckily for me, Rarity then handed her back her usual accessories and Applejack returned to her normal self. The only one missing from our gathering now was Fluttershy. I always appreciated her company, and of course, I couldn’t thank her enough for taking Lizzie in.

Unfortunately though, it turned out that Fluttershy had been forced to send a substitute in her place. Her other roommate.

“Hi girls!” Discord cheered, in a voice strangely reminiscent of Twilight. The Draconequus, declining to take the provided cushions, snapped his eagle talons and produced a rather lavish high backed chair for himself and sat down with us.

“Guess who’s coming to dinner,” I muttered under my breath.

“Oh my dear boy, don’t be like that,” he replied having evidently heard my mutterings. “Surely as an upstanding friend and confidante of this little group, I’m allowed to attend in dear Fluttershy’s place?”

“Friend perhaps. Confidante, no,” I countered. “Why couldn’t Fluttershy come anyway? It wouldn’t have something to do with you, would it?”

“Me? Whatever would suggest to you that there was any sort of foul play afoot?” He then proceeded to remove a large hen from between his reptilian toes, the poor thing clucked in surprise at having been suddenly transported to the centre of town.

As much as I wanted to start arguing with him, I knew it would be quite pointless and would just put a damper on everypony else’s day. But Discord, perhaps by virtue of being the spirit of chaos and disharmony, was not quite finished.

“Well at least let me help out with paying for all of this. Let’s go Dutch.” And with that, we found ourselves sitting in a poppy field surround by old wooden windmills. A poppy field in the Netherlands. In Europe. On planet Earth.

“Yeah, or we could just go back to Equestria,” RD commented, unphased by his antics. “You know, where the food, and the restaurant is, and where bits are legal tender.” I shot up with a start.

“Wait a minute, is this Earth?!” I asked incredulously. Discord nodded, grinning.

“Now you see it, now you don’t,” And just like that, we were back in Ponyville at our table. I was about to lunge at Discord and demand that he take my family home, when Twilight grabbed me via telekinesis.

“Don’t waste your time, Blade Star. That was just an illusion spell, like the one I taught you.” I slumped back in my seat. Twilight turned to Discord. “Discord that was cruel and heartless.” Discord merely stuck his tongue out.

“I’ll have you know it also takes a lot of effort to throw out something like that,” he countered.

I think the whole ‘reforming’ process is a bit hit and miss. Okay, he’s not trying to take over Equestria anymore, but he’s still annoying and at times mean as a rattlesnake. Who knows, perhaps he really was just Q.

Luckily for all of us, we were then interrupted by the waiter, who had arrived to take our orders. We all settled for sandwiches or something similarly light. Personally, I went for a dandelion sandwich, something I had actually taken the trouble to try back on Earth. Even as a human, with the right dressing, they weren’t bad.

We then began to happily chat amongst ourselves. Twilight and Rarity happily discussed a new spell the latter had been working on to prevent clothing from wrinkling, a potential breakthrough even by Twilight’s standards, whilst Spike did his best to chip in and gain approval from the love of his life. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were actually talking business for once, with AJ sorting out a suitable timetable for rainfall that would suit both her and Rainbow’s own busy schedule. And Pinkie, well, she was currently stuck in an infinite loop on the subject of how hungry we all were.

That left me to chat with Discord. Deciding to take the moral high ground, I did my best to be civil with him.

“So, how have you been, Discord?” I asked neutrally.

“Oh, as well as can be expected I suppose. Dropping in on Fluttershy every now and again for tea. Going to see Tia for cake.” He leaned back in his chair forming his lion paw and eagle talons into a steeple, as if in deep contemplation. “I heard you’ve been quite busy though, and little Candy butt came here a little while ago.” Now to anyone else and coming from anyone else, this would have been a perfectly innocent comment. Coming from Discord, it meant he knew something and wanted to brag about it. And to be honest, the Cheshire grin he was sporting was a dead giveaway.

“Ah was surprised you didn’t show your weasel face,” I countered. “Ah figured you would’ve at least shown up to annoy Cadence. Or have you been ‘droppin’ in’ on her too?”

“A creature of chaos I may be, but even I know when to step back and let things unfold in their own time, Blade Star.” Discord almost looked hurt by my remark. “Besides, not all chaos requires a snap of my talons. But enough of that, how have things been with your southern belle?” I rolled my eyes and sighed. Across the table AJ and Rainbow were still chatting amicably.

“Me and AJ are doin’ just fine, thank you.”

“Oh so I was right after all,” Discord said, grinning even more. “Ah, young love.”

“It’s not like that, Discord,” I countered crossly. Just because I liked her, didn’t mean I was willing to tell all of Equestria about it.

At this point, everypony was finishing up with their lunches. I’d just about polished off my own sandwich. Twilight asked Rarity to come back to the library with her to make some final touches to the spell, much to Spike’s glee. Rainbow took off to do some local weather jobs and Applejack, after having picked up her tab, bid goodbye to us and headed back toward the farm.

“Ah’ll catch up with ya in a couple minutes, ‘Jack. See you soon,” I called after her. She turned and quickly waved before heading off. Discord and I were the only ones at the table now, aside from Pinkie who was still looping. The Draconequus let out a low whistle.

“Wow, you really are head over heels for her aren’t you,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I asked in confusion.

“That whole ‘see you soon’ thing,” he elaborated.

“That was just ‘see you soon’. Nothin’ else to it; just two friends talkin’ to each other.” Discord shook his head.

“No that was, ‘I like your flank. Can I wear it as a hat?’.” I spluttered at that whilst he burst out laughing.

“What?!” I exclaimed. “How in the name of Celestia did you get that?!” I exclaimed, somewhat disgusted by his comment. Discord continued to howl with laughter.

Now, I’ve put up with Discord for a fair while. At the end of the day, he’s not really as bad as he seems. He wouldn’t have opted to reform if that wasn’t the case. And he certainly wasn’t evil, just chaotic. And normally, I will tolerate his antics and wisecracks. But every time he said something about Applejack, like he had on Nightmare Night, it really riled me up.

And that’s why I socked him in the face. It felt good.

---

All the way back to Sweet Apple Acres, I mentally listed all the ways I could injure the spirit of chaos. For reasons unknown, he seemed to have settled on annoying me. I knew he annoyed Dad in court sometimes and that he proved just as trying to Twilight. But he seemed to be determined to be a thorn in my side. Maybe I’m being too self-centred. Still, his wisecrack about me and AJ had ruined my temper. I never thought that way about her for goodness sake, even if I do like her! I did my best to put it all out of my mind as I got back to the farm.

The rest of the afternoon was spent working with Big Macintosh on felling the trees that had been earmarked during the health check. Most of them were older specimens or ones that had, for whatever reason, not taken root. This was actually one of the few times I ever used magic on Sweet Apple Acres. Whilst Big Mac could, with alarming ease, buck the trees over, I was not so able. Instead, I used a fairly basic fire spell, creating a small, thin beam of white hot energy to cut through the trees at the base. They could then be felled, and I could heave the stump up using good old fashioned pony power. Mac was actually quite impressed with the display, although he still managed to buck down far more trees that I could cut down.

---

Applejack stopped by just as the two of us were finishing loading the wagon with the last of the freshly cut logs. We certainly wouldn’t have to worry about fuel for the fire next winter. Hay, Dash could cover Ponyville in snow all year round and we’d probably still do alright.

“You two finished up here?” AJ called as she trotted up. Big Mac slowly nodded his head.

“Sure, Sis. We’ll stow this last haul in the barn an’ then we’re done.” He then hooked himself up to the wagon and began to haul it back home, leaving me and Applejack to walk back.

“So, Discord seemed to be gettin’ under your skin again today, Bones,” she said cautiously. I smiled as I looked over to her.

“You know what he’s like ‘Jack. Just loves to stir up trouble. Still, Ah shouldn’t let it get to me though.” Applejack smiled and lidded her eyes.

“So what were the pair of you yappin’ ‘bout anyway?” she asked. I felt my face heat up all the way to the tips of my ears.

“Oh, er, nothin’ really,” I said desperately. “He was just playin’ some of the town gossip.” Perhaps taking pity on me, AJ relented, but I’m almost certain she knew that she had been the subject of discussion, and the one count of common assault.

Author's Note:

Proofread by Sidetrack.

Right, I think we'll let the romance arc ferment for a while now. We will be coming back to it obviously, but later on.

Up next, I may have inadvertently written the Rat Pack into this fic.

Comment and criticise below as always.

Comments

[orp]

I've no idea if this story is actually good - not yet, anyway - but props to you good sir for the Gerald Durrell reference.

[Blade Star]

5152094 At last! Somepony gets the reference!

[rcmero]

And that’s why I socked him in face. It felt good.

I think there is a 'the' here missing.

[El Comal]

With all of the ‘quiet dignity and grace’ that I can muster, I walk up to Discord and punch him in the face.

[Meep the Changeling]

Damn it Bones! This is reality, not a shipfic!