The Twelve Nights of Hearth's Warming

by Jade Ring

The Twelfth Night

From the Offices of Pro Bono and Sons

To Whom It May Concern;

It is our duty here at the offices of Pro Bono and Sons to inform you that you are being sued by one Rarity of Ponyville.

Miss Rarity evidently had a complete breakdown following the arrival of twelve drummers drumming on her front yard and was quickly checked into a mental health facility. After regaining her faculties, Miss Rarity contacted our office with her intentions of bringing legal action upon you.

We advise coordinating with your fellow defendant, Miss Fluttershy of Ponyville, in order to save on legal costs.

While the exact amount Miss Rarity is seeking has not been decided as of yet, it will encompass, but will not be limited to, the following charges;

-Severe damage to property.

-Animal upkeep.

-Psychological evaluation of a minor (Miss Sweetie Belle)

Additionally, Miss Rarity is blaming you for the recent passing of her beloved cat Opalescence, whose body was discovered hovering in the air above Miss Sweetie Belle's head. We look forward to seeing you in court.

Post Script
Assistant to Pro Bono

Comments

[Jade Quartz]

This just made my day...night...whatever 12:30am is!

[ZemaBato]

This was the perfect way to end my night.

[Doxkid]

Very amusing.

[Dawn Flower]

Very good.

[Spectrumancer]

Cannot stop giggling. All of my upvotes for you.

[Seether00]

Hilarious!
I remember a short musical special I saw on TV a long time ago where the poor woman lost her mind.

Remember, her true love not only brings a new present each day, but another set of each of the previous day's gifts.

What are you supposed to do with twelve partridges in pear trees?

[superpony55]

Wow, I preferred the beginning to the end, though.

Good job!

[TheApexSovereign]

This got really fucking dark really fucking fast.

[Jade Ring]

3613811 to be fair, it does mention a spiral into madness in the description.

[TheApexSovereign]

3614346 But I thought it would be Twilight-styled madness.

[Jade Ring]

3614845 That's me; taking expectations and pile-driving them.

[Yami Vizzini]

Well, this started off rather funny... then got wonderfully zany... then went flat.
I kept thinking there had to be some twist coming (how could Spike [and Fluttershy?] be getting all of this done? And despite his history for getting himself into trouble, there is no way he would have kept this up if he was actually reading these letters), but no, just an after-action report that doesn't even wrap things up.
Maybe I'm just not that into comedy fics after all.
(Or maybe that's just my dark side. I have a feeling I know who's going to die in your main continuity [and as a corollary who's going to get her poor heart cored], I desperately hope I'm wrong, and I'm waiting for the horseshoe to drop. So perhaps this is just what we followers needed.)

[Jade Ring]

3615289 I'll admit, there were two ways that last chapter could have gone. The one posted and "Dear Spike, DRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMS!"

I wrote this to make me laugh (selfish, I know) but there's a Christmas gift coming my reader's way that's more my usual style.

Also; you think you know who's dying, eh? Pray tell... (Message it)

[Brocky]

Good stuff irregardless

[KivaFlutterBat]

I died laughing

[The Princess Rarity]

I... I don't know what I just read.

[destinysWalrus]

Sweet Celestia's fat flanks, this was hilarious. Even considering that I'm way too easily amused.
This is one of the most bafflingly funny stories I've read in a while.

[ididntthinkidlikethis]

This story made me think of this song.

[Kikio3000]

Wow, poor Rarity, Spike and Sweetie! Spike is a troll that doesn't answer letters, LOL! Wow, that was a violent and mental take on Sparity! XD

[Victoria_the_dragoness]

That was quite humorous. I rather enjoyed that.

[katzoo12]

3612345
Would you happen to remember what it’s called? It sounds very interesting.

[TheOneAJ]

https://youtu.be/9RbQYS6vTrE

[TheOneAJ]

[PresentPerfect]

this was amazing XD

[SparklingTwilight]

The background plot with Sweetie Belle was an unexpected bonus. This really deserves more upvotes!