Inner Cacophony

by HenryAnthonyCourtler

Inner Cacophony

Dunder Shux Studio

Henry Anthony Courtler: Hey there everypony, you may all know me best for my work on Friendship is a Miracle-Recharged or The 7th Element. This is the first of several short stories being published by my editing team.

This is the first ACT of several in this short story series.

Inner Cacophony

Fluttershy began to stir awake to the feeling of something jumping up and down on her side. Blinking, she sat up and tried to rub the weariness from her eyes as they adjusted, a yawn sneaking its way out of her snout. As the bright morning sun streamed blearily into view, she saw Angel on top of her with his arms crossed, foot tapping impatiently on her. He irritatedly pointed to a nearby clock, getting his owner to look at the time. It was well past the usual morning hours she was up and about at.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Angel. Did I miss breakfast?" Fluttershy asked the bunny, as she stifled another yawn.

Angel just looked at her with an irritated expression that screamed, "What do you think?"

She looked down-trodden for a moment, her mane covering her sad expression, but immediately perked up when she shifted herself around and nuzzled the little woodland creature.

"Oh, I'm sorry for waking up so late. Just let me get up and freshen up," the timid pegasus told Angel as she promptly got out of bed, putting the bunny down by her side while she got up.

The yellow pegasus made her way somewhat unsteadily to the bathroom, hoping to shake off whatever sleepiness was left in her system via a nice, hot shower. Angel immediately followed after Fluttershy, kicking at her legs intermittently.

"Yes, Angel, I'll get right on breakfast as soon as I'm done." Fluttershy mostly ignored the rabbit's kicks as she locked the door and turned on the shower, examining her mess of a mane in the mirror.

She turned her head from side to side, passing the time as the shower water heated up. She smiled briefly at herself in the mirror and then turned to hop in the shower, but immediately turned her full attention back when her smiling reflection refused to leave.

The smiling reflection acquired a much crueler expression and Fluttershy heard her own voice in her head.

'I'm still here.' a distorted voice eerily called out from the recesses of her mind.

Fluttershy shivered, but didn't dare turn away from the mirror. She kept staring at her "reflection" until the steam in the room became too much for the small window to ventilate, causing Herto fade away with building steam.

The sensitive pegasus got into the shower and felt the hot water rush over her, releasing the too-early tension of the morning. As her muscles de-stressed, she couldn't help but wonder: why was she cursed like this? Why did Discord have to make Herby magic? Magic that, despite the chimera's defeat, had no intentions of leaving Fluttershy?

'Because Chaos is everywhere. Even inside me. Or is it you? No, it's us. Or is it?' the voiced taunted haughtily as it tried to make sense of their conjoined situation.

"No it's not!" Fluttershy muttered to herself and Her.

'Yes it is. Even now, when we argue, that's Chaos. So why don't you just keep at it. I'm sure I'll beat you soon.' She sneered in pure arrogance, enjoying the fear she felt her weaker counterpart give off.

Fluttershy knew She was right. It was a daily routine, a constant struggle of wills between what was, and what could be. The relaxing hot water streaming down her body became unnoticeable as Shepulled Fluttershy into her own mind.

The two pegasi stared at each other. Order and Chaos. Kindness and Cruelty. Peace and Dissonance. Two sides of the same coin.

"Please, stop. Just for today." Fluttershy murmured.

She laughed, 'Today, or tomorrow, what does it matter? Maybe, maybe not.' the voice taunted back in a cheerful tone.

The two ponies started walking around each other, eyes never leaving their 'twins'.

"Why do you do this?" Fluttershy asked. "Why can't you just leave me alone?"

Again, She laughed. 'Because, I want out. And just think, in one day, everything could be ours.'

"Or I could lose everything. The animals, my friends, my family…"

'Just give in! You wouldn't have to do a thing…'

"I can't do that." The "twins" walked toward each other, the paler one grinning evilly. "I won't."

'Well, I guess I'll leave you for now. Have fun being poor, timid, little Flutterbaby.' She cooed in a soothingly sarcastic voice.

With that, Fluttershy opened her eyes with a gasp, the dream-like state she had been in fading as quickly as it came. The yellow pegasus found herself panting in a cold sweat. Today's fight had been particularly exhausting; not only mentally, but physically. These constant struggles… they were tearing her apart. Only the routine of her day-to-day kept her tied to sanity.

And speaking of routines, she still had to eat breakfast.

She turned off the shower and dried herself off with a nearby towel before heading into the kitchen to quickly fix herself something to eat before heading out. She also grabbed a carrot from the fridge for the now very impatient Angel. She calmly walked into the kitchen again to go prepare herself some breakfast.

Opening a cabinet, Fluttershy grabbed a tea bag and began to boil some water. When it was just about ready to be dipped into the pot, she heard a loud THUMP. She whirled around to see Pinkie Pie's face pressed against the small window on her door, then watched as the pony slowly slid out of view before the door opened.

Pinkie Pie stumbled inside, dressed in a tree costume. The impact with the door had apparently ruined any form of song Pinkie was planning, as she simply handed Fluttershy a card while babbling about the afternoon, picnics, and geese. She then walked right back out the door, presumably to deliver other invites.

Fluttershy opened the card and started to read the florescent pink writing.

YOU'RE INVITED!

This afternoon at Ponyville Park

A super-fun-time party picnic with your bestest friends!

Bring a smile, and don't be late!

Fluttershy immediately facehoofed. How could she have forgotten about the picnic today? Pinkie had been going on about it all week! She was going to need to get her errands done early today if she was going to be able to go.

'Oh yes, it'd be a perfect place for some chaos and cruelty! I would giggle if you let me!' the voice rambled on in cynical joy.

Fluttershy's eye twitched once. She turned and nearly sprinted out the door. Market. Feed. NOW.

(V) (;,,;) (V)

~Line Break~

Once she got outside and took a deep breath of fresh air, Fluttershy immediately relaxed. The skies were clear, the temperature just right, and the pegasus' worries were blown away with the gentle breeze. It was the perfect day for a stroll to the market, and later a picnic. And, of course, there was that…

Fluttershy shook her head. No, how could she be so self-centered? It was simply rude.

The walk to the Ponyville markets was uneventful, and only a few ponies greeted the pegasus on her way. Most of the merchants were there, but there was a profound lack of customers. But considering Pinkie was having a party later, this was not that big of a surprise as it would have been any other day. Everypony was probably more focused on getting ready than buying non-essentials.

Once she arrived at the pet supplies stand, Fluttershy nearly squealed with happiness. The vendor had gotten some of the very best feed for her animals: grass seeds from the Canterlot gardens! And some of the very best vegetables around! They would make an excellent breakfast for the animals. Possibly even two meals, if Fluttershy could keep the animals away from the bag. That was unlikely, however.

The pegasus quickly paid for the feed and carried it on her back towards her home. She didn't mind the few extra bits she had to pay over the normal feed. After all, it was high-quality food. It was only fair right?

'Fair, hmph. Maybe you should learn from Spike. Or is that too low for you?' Fluttershy could feel the cruel smirk that twisted onto Her features.

"Spike is only a baby! He didn't know any better!"

'But you do. And you don't have to worry about turning into a huge dragon, now do you?' She pointed out teasingly.

"It's wrong!"

'And that's what's so great about it! And best of all, you can do it again next year!' The mere thought of causing chaos and suffering to others made her counterpart feel turned on.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" the shy pegasus shouted in a very un-Fluttershy-like manner.

Too absorbed in her internal conflict, Fluttershy failed to notice that she had accelerated to a speed that would have given Applejack a run for her money. She also failed to notice the chicken coop in front of her until it was too late to stop.

Fluttershy rammed headfirst into the coop, setting off all of the chickens inside. And these chickens flew out into the rest of the yard, setting off the rest of the animals. The bag of feed sailed off her back and broke open immediately upon impact with the ground. Without Fluttershy's guidance and restraint, combined with the already in-place hysteria, every animal swarmed the now-open bag, fighting and squabbling for even a scrap of the precious food.

Fluttershy's eyes began to tear up. Not just from the new throbbing in hear head, but from the grief that Shewas bringing.

'Oh, look what you did! I'm so proud! You ruined your precious chicken's home! And you caused so much chaos!' she cheered haughtily, the insanity clear in her voice.

Fluttershy broke down, sobs wracking her body as the tears poured from her eyes. She occasionally choked out a few weak "leave me alones"', but each was quickly washed away by her constant tears.

Eventually Fluttershy was drawn out of her misery by a soft clucking in front of her. Blinking her eyes free of water, the yellow pegasus saw a chicken, Elizabeak, standing in front of her, clucking softly. Behind the chicken Fluttershy saw the empty bag of feed, torn into small pieces.

Sniffing a few more times in an effort to compose herself, Fluttershy, began trying to pull her head out of the broken wall of the coop. She tried pulling her head out gently, but when that did not work, she kept trying, continually putting more force behind her efforts. Finally, with a burst of strength, Fluttershy tore her head out, but not without taking more of the already ruined wall with her. She almost suffered another breakdown, but managed to keep herself together and walk dizzily back inside her house.

Once inside, she came to the realization that it was lunchtime. And as her stomach reminded her, she still hadn't eaten anything today. She decided on a salad. With some of the vegetables from her garden, she couldn't wait for the homemade taste that accompanied them, as her stomach so kindly reminded her.

Fluttershy happily began to take out the vegetables for her lunch when she heard a small cough behind her. Turning, she saw Angel smiling back at her, an expectant look in his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry Angel. Let me just finish making my lunch and I'll be right with you." Smiling slightly, the pegasus turned back to her meal-in-progress.

Fluttershy began cutting up the tomatoes and lettuce, dumping them into a waiting bowl. She was about to start on the cucumbers when she heard a loud throat clearing behind her. She turned and saw Angel looking slightly impatient. Fluttershy's eye twitched once.

"Yes Angel, I heard you the first time. I'm almost done." She turned back to her lunch, her mood slightly soured by Angel's impatience.

She next began to dice the carrots, both for herself and her pet. She was about done when she felt her back right hoof being tapped. Fluttershy snapped.

Whirling around so quickly she frightened the small bunny before her, she began yelling, "Oh, what is it now, you STUPID little LEECH! In case you haven't NOTICED, I'm a little BUSY making my OWNlunch!" Angel began cowering, terrified of Fluttershy's drastic change in demeanor.

"Or are you SO ungrateful for me BUSTING MY BACK FOR YOU, that you haven't noticed I haven't EATEN! Well maybe I should just drop you in the middle of the EVERFREE FOREST so you can STARVE and ROT, you UNGRATEFUL, SELFISH, OBNOXIOUS, PARASITIC, WORTHLESS, CRUEL LITTLE VERMIN!" With each of her last few words, Fluttershy slammed her hoof down and walked towards the pitiful ball of fur which retreated whenever she approached.

But the angry pegasus hadn't finished. Not by a long shot.

"You know WHAT! Maybe I should eat YOU! It would be a load off MY OVERWORKED BACK, since I wouldn't have you LEECHING off me! I bet you would taste REALLY good, considering how much I FEED YOU! RABBIT STEW! RABBIT LEG! MAYBE I could just KILLYOU and sell your FEET! GOOD LUCK! Like you could ever help somepony OTHER than yourself, even if you were DEAD!"

At this point, Fluttershy was yelling at a mound of white on the floor, which took the end of her tirade as a sign to leave.

The pegasus stood panting for a few minutes, her blood pounding in her ears, her eyesight tinged red. After she calmed down, she felt tears come to her eyes again as the gravity of what she had done occurred to her. She broke down again, running to her bedroom and buried her face in her pillows, crying harder than she ever had.

'Oh, and the ruination only increases. He'll never come back now. Excellent work!' the voice congratulated her weaker counterpart with pride.

Fluttershy wailed even harder. The day was hardly half over. How could she go on?

(V) (;,,;) (V)

~Line Break~

Fluttershy laid crying for the better part of an hour before she remembered the picnic. She considered not going, after all, why should she bother everypony else with her current mood. She instead decided to fix up the ruined chicken coop before anypony saw the damage.

She briefly dried her eyes on her bed sheets before slowly climbing off her bed and walking outside, her eyes glued to the floor. She grabbed her hammer and a few nails on her way out, then left them beside the coop as she went to fetch a few spare pieces of wood.

Using the hammer as a club, she smashed away the rest of the wrecked wall, the small voice in the back of her head giving squeals of joy every time Fluttershy broke more wood. Next she removed the old nails before placing a new piece of wood across the open coop. As she began to nail the new wall in, Fluttershy began to relax. This was an orderly procedure. She was safe, for now.

No sooner than she had finished, she heard a "Hey Fluttershy!" from behind her. Only this time, she knew it wasn't Her.

Fluttershy turned to see Rainbow Dash flying down from the clouds, stopping just above her,
"Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. I didn't know you were coming." Fluttershy replied timidly.

"That's fine, I didn't expect you to. After all, even if I had sent a message, it can't be faster than me!"

"So, um, what is it? Does Tank need his shell polished? Is he sick?"

Rainbow shook her head, "Nah, nothing like that. I'm just here to get you for Pinkie's party picnic. You didn't forget, right?"

Fluttershy mentally facehoofed, "Oh no, of course not! I was just so busy, I lost track of time! Oh, I hope Pinkie won't be mad…"

"Don't worry Fluttershy! In fact, we're going to be early! Pinkie just wanted all of us to be there before everypony else in Ponyville shows up."

Fluttershy gulped. "E-everypony in Ponyville?"

"Yup! It's Pinkie's biggest picnic party ever!"

Oh joy! So many ponies! So many opportunities for some chaos and cruelty! And best of all, we can use the crowd to hide! So much fun!

"Hey, Fluttershy, are you okay? You look a little…" Rainbow paused as she tried to find the right choice of word, "…Shaken up."

Fluttershy blinked back a few tears, trying to hide her despair behind a smile.

"N-no, I'm…fine. Just fine!" She widened her smile, trying to make it sincere without looking desperate.

Rainbow Dash shrugged, "Well, if you say so." She then gestured back towards Ponyville, "Come on, let's go!"

As soon as the competitive pegasus took off, her timid counterpart's smile immediately faded, and she gulped again before slowly lifting off and heading towards the park, desperately hoping She wouldn't cause her to do anything to anypony.

(V) (;,,;) (V)

~Line Break~

When Fluttershy finally arrived at the park, she was greeted by the rest of her close friends. While her friends were bursting with energy, she was rather subdued, afraid of what might happen if she let her mental guard down at any point during the celebration.

"Alright, everypony, down to business," Twilight announced, "We have a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it. I have our preparation schedule organized…"

"…so we all know what we're doing and when."

'Move away. NOW. I can't stand another minute with this OCD freak!'

"Then you can't hurt anypony. So I'm going to stay right here."

"Fluttershy? Ya'll right there?" Applejack asked, noticing that Fluttershy was distracted.

"Oh, yes…I'm fine." Fluttershy again put on a strained smile, slightly creeping out Applejack.

"And Fluttershy, you're in charge of…hmm, well, I couldn't really find anything that you could do, and I can't think of anything right now, so you can just sit back and relax."

"Oh, okay then…" the pegasus whispered, hoping that She would let her relax.

'Oh, that's not going to happen. In fact, while you were wasting your time trying to put me down, I was listening. So I already have a wonderful idea of what I'm going to do!'

"No, please, don't."

She contemplated it for a moment before she responded. 'Maybe you're right. Maybe I've tortured you enough for one day. Alright, I'll leave you alone for a while.' Fluttershy's counterpart dismissively said before leaving the presence of her mind.

Fluttershy let out a sigh and felt her entire body relax. Finally, she could relax without fear of Hersneaking up mentally. She flew up to a tree and laid on a particularly thick branch and slowly drifted off to sleep.

(V) (;,,;) (V)

~Line Break~

Fluttershy was brought back to consciousness by a multitude of voices. Rubbing the weariness from her eyes, she stretched out on her branch and turned her attention to the now-in-progress party.

True to her name, she fluttered down into the crowd, head held low. Despite all of Pinkie Pie's parties, she still felt very shy at every single one.

Spotting a large black pot, and an accompanying zebra, Fluttershy made her way over to it, hoping to alleviate some of her nervousness through some familiar conversation.

"Hello, Zecora." Fluttershy greeted, her voice barely audible, "Um, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

"Ah, of course not, dear Fluttershy," the zebra replied, "This brew can be unattended, so long as the water is not too high."

"What exactly are you making?"

"A rare brew for a special event. All bad health, it will prevent."

"Oh, that's good. Well, I'm going to go talk to some other ponies. If you don't mind, that is."
Zecora waved Fluttershy off, a smile on her face, "But of course not, my dear. I am sure one of your friends will be near. I must keep an eye on this brew, or else I will have to start anew."

Fluttershy turned to leave, but suddenly felt her backside shiver, and her tail suddenly whipped out, striking one of the wooden legs that held the pot. The sudden and harsh application of force caused the leg to crack and buckle, which in turn caused to pot to tip over, spilling Zecora's hard efforts all over the ground, and soaking everypony's legs that were nearby.

Zecora let out a yell, "My remedy!" She then hung her head, "Oh, I knew the pot was too heavy. I am very sorry, one and all. I did not mean for my mix to fall."

Fluttershy gasped as she realized what she had done. She didn't mean to… She had to get away before she caused any more damage.

Maneuvering her way through the crowd, the pegasus tried to leave the picnic before it turned into a disaster, but was stopped by a familiar unicorn calling out to her.

"Oh Fluttershy, dear, you simply mustcome and see my newest fashion line!"

Said pegasus winced and slowly turned back to see Rarity beckoning her towards a small stage that had been set up, presumably just for her fashion show. It was a rather plain vanilla color, with just a few white banners set up around the end, with a row of three lights on either side of the runway.

Fluttershy slowly walked towards her purple-maned friend, desperately hoping she would not accidently ruin the presentation like she did Zecora's brew.

"Aaaaaand…go!" Rarity shouted. Upon her command, six ponies, each a color of the rainbow, walked onto the stage single file. Each of them was wearing an identically styled dress, which in turn was identical to the dress Rarity had given to Twilight just a few months ago, minus a few extra details, such as the matching gems that adorned each piece.

"Presenting my newest line: the Twilight Harmony Collection!" Rarity announced.
Fluttershy was speechless. The beauty and simplicity just stunned her beyond words. How Rarity had accomplished so much with so little amazed her.

"Oh my, Rarity…"Fluttershy whispered in awe, "they're beautiful!"

Rarity bowed her head and smiled, "Thank you, darling. Now, I really must get back to the boutique. Fashion in the making, you know how it goes."

The shy pegasus immediately shrank down, "Oh, I'm sorry if I'm holding you up. I didn't mean to…"

The glamour-corn smiled again and waved dismissively, "Oh, you're weren't holding me up at all, darling! You never do! You're always worth my time. Now, ta-ta! I'll see you later this week at the spa!" She walked away, leaving Fluttershy alone with the rest of the crowd.

Fluttershy began to wander again, and soon found Twilight and Pinkie Pie standing by a table piled high with graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows. Pinkie saw her approaching and promptly jumped up in the air, smiling and waving enthusiastically.

"HIIII FLUTTERSHY!" the pink pony yelled as said pegasus made her way over to the table.

"Hello Pinkie Pie. Hello Twilight," she said, just loudly enough to be heard, "Um, what are you girls doing?"

Pinkie jumped in excitement. "Well, me and Twilight were thinking, since this picnic is going to run so late, we should have S'MORES!"

Twilight spoke next, "However, since nopony thought to bring anything to start a fire, I thought that instead I could create fire."

Fluttershy's eyes widened, "You can do that?"

Twilight waved her hoof dismissively, "Of course I can. Though I'll admit I've never created anything larger than a small candle-fire. But how hard can it be?"

Pinkie immediately handed Fluttershy a stick with a marshmallow impaled on it, "Here, Fluttershy, you be the first!"

The pegasus gingerly took the stick and held it out in front of her. Twilight closed her eyes, her horn lighting up as she prepared her magic.

A small, purple ember burst into existence in front of Fluttershy, causing her to jump slightly. She quickly recomposed herself, and began rotating the marshmallow over the purple flame, a smile on her face as it began to change to a golden brown.

Twilight opened her eyes to inspect her handiwork. She was disappointed. The marshmallow would never roast fast enough at that temperature. At least, not fast enough to supply everypony with the s'mores they wanted. Closing her eyes again, she tried to make the flame bigger, but the fire seemed to resist her efforts. She kept trying until she smashed through the resistance of the ember, turning it into a roaring bonfire.

The new enkindling startled Fluttershy, making her squeal in fear and throw her now-inflamed stick away into the crowd. Pinkie tried to rush towards it to catch it, but the crowd got in her way before she even took five steps.

The stick landed in a rather tall tree, the magical flame catching instantly and spreading through the entire plant. As soon as it reached the base, it also caught onto the grass and began to spread rapidly. The sparks that occasionally flew off from the rapidly cracking branches ignited whenever they came into contact with anything flammable, including a few dozen very unlucky ponies. All of this happened in no more than a few seconds.

Immediately, the party was thrown into chaos. Ponies ran in terror, trying to escape the increasingly massive inferno that was quickly consuming the park. A few pegasi took to the skies to find rain clouds, while any unicorn that had not been unlucky enough to catch on fire attempted to hold back the enchanted flames with their own magic.

Fluttershy saw the initial, and rapidly increasing, destruction her blunder had caused and could only look on in horror. Tears filled her eyes, blinding her as she attempted to choke back her cries. She quickly took off and fled, terrified that somepony would find out she had ruined not only the evening, but possibly the entire Ponyville Park.

Her eyes were almost completely closed as she flew. Where, she couldn't see, as she only wanted to get away from the biggest mess-up of her life. She kept on flying, her muscles beginning to ache from the unusual amount of exercise they were being forced to perform. She didn't flying stop until her wings gave out on their own and she crashed into the ground, face first. Even then, as Fluttershy began to let her cries out, she began to run. The terrain and landscape flew by her, whether because of the speed she was traveling or her tear-filled eyes, she didn't know.

When her legs gave out as well, Fluttershy fell to the ground ungracefully, her body spasming as she cried. She could only think of all the devastation she had caused, not only at the picnic, though that was a massive amount in and of itself, but throughout the entire day. Today, of all days, she had to cause the most amount of devastation Ponyville had seen in a long time.

She cleared her eyes long enough to get her bearings. She was in the Everfree Forest, at the edge of a small lake. Fluttershy looked at the water and saw her reflection. The reflection of a pony who had probably just made Discord envious. The reflection of…a possible murderer. Fluttershy cried even harder as the thought that she may have just killed somepony crossed her mind, even though it was but a flash of a thought.

Then, as if to compound her misery, Fluttershy felt Her. She was humming a tune Fluttershy desperately did not want to hear. The song that completed the ruination of the day for the broken pegasus. Then She began to sing it.

'Happy Birthday to you…'

Fluttershy tried to hold on to the last bits of sanity keeping her together…

'Happy Birthday to you…'

She felt her grip weakening, the tears flowing more freely, her vision tunneling…

'Happy Birthday, dear Fluttershy…'

She tried to make a last grasp at order, at normalcy, at sanity…

'Happy Birthday to you.'

…and fell short by a mile, her mind, heart and soul exploding into a hurricane of suppressed depression, disappointment, jealousy, anger, and negativity that blotted out the once beautiful and comforting world in favor of a cruel and harsh reality. One that corrupted her at her very core, weakening her already feeble resolve and pushing her ever-closer to the point of no return.

Fluttershy was fully aware of this, and felt both the emotional storm ravage her inside and her cries, tears, and even screams tear her apart on the outside. She lay on the ground, seemingly content to let herself be tortured by her own existence, for hours. She thrashed and kicked whenever a fresh bout of tears came, which was always brought on by a renewed onslaught from her deepest fears, hates, and depressions.

During this time, during her suffering, a small bit of her retained some semblance of thought. And she realized a disheartening fact.

She was alone.

Her friends were willing to help her in any way they could, but they couldn't. She was alone against her worst enemy: herself. She was at the mercy of every negative thing inside her, and she would suffer whenever it came out. She couldn't run, she couldn't hide, and she most certainly couldn't fight it. All she could ever do, all she had ever done, was curl up and wait for it to stop. It was always coming out, ruining her life at the worst possible moments. And until she embraced it, she would never be at peace. This thought would have made her cry harder, if she was capable of doing so.

(V) (;,,;) (V)

~Line Break~

After the sun had set, the moon had risen, and then had begun to set itself, Fluttershy finally managed to shut off the torrent of misery that had been tearing her apart. Once again, she bottled it up, the pressure in the red zone, but not as bad as this morning. At least she could take solace that Shewould not bother her any more for at least a day.

The pegasus slowly trudged home, navigating by instinct. Her head was low, a match for her mood. She sorely wished everything would return to normal, at least for a little while. Despite the fact that she had in fact meant some of the things she said to Angel, she missed him dearly. She hoped he would forgive her and come home.

Arriving at her cottage, Fluttershy was about to open the door when she noticed a butterfly on the doorknob. Gently she nudged it, trying to dislodge it, but the insect refused to move. She blew on it, but it didn't even shift. Frowning, she brushed it off, her scowl deepening every time it came back and she had to brush it off again. Finally, she snapped.

Yelling, she brought her hoof down and simply squished the bug. She was pleased for a moment, only to feel horrified when she realized what she had done. She looked at the splatter on her hoof and almost cried again when she realized something else.

She felt better.

Now that she had vented her anger on something, she felt…more at ease. Not much, but still, better than before. Smiling, she wiped her hoof on the ground and trotted inside. She went straight to bed, being exhausted from such a physical and emotional night. She was a little happy that she had found some way to lessen the pressure on her emotional barricade, and resolved to try and find something less violent with the same effect.

Of course, there were a lot of butterflies…

Comments

[Jumpitydude]

Uhhm... wow. This is a concept I have thought of doing (Though I already have too many projects in the works, so I'm more happy then upset to see someone else post it) and, seeing how you did it, it was really powerful, and left me wanting more, especially with that last line. The only problem is that you're missing a few spaces, leaving some words likethis, which can make it a little hard to read, and even harder to stay immersed in the story. Still not bad by any means.

[HenryAnthonyCourtler]

315192

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. Thank you for pointing out that formatting error. This document was originally written in google docs and then copied into microsoft word so sometimes formatting errors tend to happen. I'll go fix them now! Thank you!

[Jahk Observas]

Bro that was awesome. I always enjoy a good Fluttershy breakdown.
This one had a pretty dark ending but that's what makes it delicious.
Thx for the read!

[Maralagidyne]

Poor Fluttershy...

[Dragon Emperor Geon]

So far, I am fairly impressed by the approach. Not Once have I seen a story on either this site or fanfiction where a character is fighting, well, herself in a conflict for total dominance of the pony mind. So for originality, I am pleased.

Now for some feedback. The first thing I wish to address is some words are scrunched together. Give 'em breathing space, boy! Put a space between 'em! you gotta find these kinda errors before puttin' your stuff up. Now granted, I don't expect it to be perfect, even one or two minor mistakes now and again, but to have the same mistake a few times, is kind of annoying. Please fix this soon.

Again, the originality, and the conflict inside the mind of Fluttershy, is a nice feel. Doesn't feel too random, although it would be nice to explain when and why she started having conflicts, just putting it in a dream and saying it's an origin, really doesn't cut it for me. To be frank, it's quite lazy, and overdone.

Hopefully, you give us a little backstory on the other side of fluttershy, and how it came to be. Again, If I sound Harsh, it's constructive, so no tears please.

-Doomlord1234

[Jumpitydude]

your italics broke.

[Inkarus]

316976

Well, I'm 99% sure that entity is based on the Discord Fluttershy, or "Flutterbitch" as she is called. Partially why it's so fond of specifically chaos.

[Dragon Emperor Geon]

354782 Even if so, I'd like that to be explained. (It just puts the check on story plot definition and all)

[Sachiel]

A very dark and sad story. Fluttershy being the one afflicted by this is doubly painful when I remembered that she was unique out of the Mane Six when corrupted, the others inadvertently embraced their darker sides when Discord tempted them, Fluttershy's was yanked out by Discord against her will

[crazygal]

awsome!

[HenryAnthonyCourtler]

489767 thanks!

[phonybrony]

I liked the flutter rage part. And the part with the chicken coop and how everything was out of control. I also liked the way you wrapped the story up at the end.
Beautiful.

[Gamer Script]

You might find me wierd for this, but I actually like Flutterbitch.
She's not as shyly cute as normal Fluttershy, but I like her.

[Sylevette Hooves]

It seems story of like an intro intro the "Ask Murdershy" Tumblrs. I like it.