The Tale of Two Suns

by CroakerGamer

Rekindling

“Well that was a mess,” Sunset said aloud. She was right about not being able to focus on school work. A pop quiz didn’t help the matter one bit.

She was walking the hall towards the library now. She shot a quick text to her friends explaining the situation. She would give them a full hearted explanation later. Right now she had to get to the bottom of this.

She opened the doors to the library. Barely anybody was there. Even the ‘nerds’ and ‘geeks’ had gone home. I guess they hate school as much as the rest of us, Sunset thought.

She found Mr. Regicide at a computer, clumsily typing with the knuckles of his fist. It was funny to see a man of such age act in such a way. She couldn’t help but laugh at the poor pony.

Mr. Regicide turned to see he had an audience of one. He stood from the computer to address her. She could tell he was blushing behind the shadow his hat made.

“Please, follow me, ma’ am.” He gestured to a table, free of clutter and books next to the computer.

Sunset walked towards him. On her way over she glanced at the screen of the computer he used. She cracked one more smile at the foreign language that was presented to her. It read: msdfj[nsdf sdljkdf sdhbksd’ wer9ui.l

Mr. Regicide pulled a chair out for her and took his own seat. “Now where did we leave off, my dear?”

“Mr. Regicide…” Sunset started.

“Please, I insist you call me Reggie.” Mr. Regicide had proposed.

“Um, sure. Reggie, How am I linked with Celestia?”

“Ah, yes. Well, you both have the same Cutie Mark symbol: the Sun. Those ponies born with the same Cutie Mark have intertwined destinies.”

“Yes, I know that,” Sunset replied. She told Reggie about her time as her student. Celestia had told Sunset that her destiny was to be one of Celestia's students.

“A royal lie!” Reggie exclaimed. “And you believed her? Don’t answer that. Do you know why she allowed you to leave?”

“Allow me to leave? I left because I was a spoiled brat back then wouldn’t take no for an answer. I ran away to get what I wanted by myself.”

“Naive, Dearie, naive. Celestia purposefully rejected your requests, even the rational ones, to force you to leave Equestria.”

This news stunned Sunset, “W-why would she do such a thing?”

“She was afraid. Celestia saw your potential and couldn’t risk sharing any more of her wisdom with you.”

Sunset was frustrated there was something Reggie wasn’t telling her. “Why would she do that to me? What was her motive?” She yelled.

Reggie looked down, all of the frustration was replaced with pity. “You were never in the wrong, my dear. Your heart was in the right place. She deceives everypony, lies to everypony.”

“Reggie. Tell me now. Why are you here and why has Celestia done this to me?”

Reggie’s pity now soured. A psycho little smile spread across his face he glanced at Sunset just below the rim of his bowler cap. “I’m here to bring you back…” Reggie started.

“Princess Sunset Shimmer.”

Comments

[Sketch Scribbles]

Problems as of chapter 3:
- this story is dull, painfully so, with short chapters that nothing really happens in. It's like watching filler episodes in a show, sometimes you find a gem but most of the time you're shouting "GET ON WITH IT!" at the screen.
- your villain's true purpose was painfully obvious from the moment he said his name. Regicide? seriously? you may as well have called him "trick you into murdering Celestia man".
-the story at least up to this point, if it's going where I think it's going, only makes sense if 'tyrant' is the interpertation of choice for celestia's motivations. ...only, that's the least popular version of her. most people prefer to see her as either a troll or a pervert hiding behind a noble mask, a bit behind them is 'canon Celestia', then 'ancient sad Celestia', and dead last is 'tyrant celestia'.

[TheOneAJ]

Now that is a little harsh, yes, the packing isn't great, and maybe this revolution could been built better, but this story isn't hopeless. He just needs someone to co-write, and boom, instant hit