• Member Since 10th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen Oct 11th, 2017

kilala


More of an artist than a writer XP Might as well give it a shot though, right?

E

Fuzzy, blurry patches of color. That's all I can see. I wouldn't even call it "seeing". It's quite sad to be honest. Being pretty much blind makes me feel so helpless sometimes. My parents must've thought I was pretty helpless too for them to leave me. I think everyone thinks I'm helpless to some extent. I was so sheltered during my life at the orphanage. I admit, it was nice being taken care of and knowing that I was safe. But I wanted to be more than that filly who would just stay in her room all day, waiting for something interesting to happen in her life. I wanted to take action and prove I was anything but helpless. That lead me to do something no one saw coming...

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 55 )

i like it and can you add more chapters to this story that show fluttershy adopted daughter Annie grow up with Slice of Life in it or can you make a sequel to this story that has that stuff in it please

Pacing seems a little rushed near the end but I like the story as a whole and I'd love to see more of it.

Error 404- Cuteness Overload

Aw man, this has happened to me twice now. You know, I once came up with an idea that's pretty close to this one. Anyway...I love it. It's just...so cute! I can't handle this much cute, and neither can my phone. Excuse me, I have to reboot the systems.

Quite the story here. Love the entire concept of it, pace was good and just the right amount of personality to help get a good picture of what she is like. I look forward to more if you decide to do stories for the other children of the mane six. Even if not I enjoyed this one immensely. Keep up the great work. ^ ^

That... that was beautiful. Nicely paced, all the ponies seemed in character, and Annie was very likable. I admit, I did find it strange that Fluttershy's parts were third person and Anthea's were first-person, but they were well written enough for me not to be entirely bothered. Thank you for writing it. :twilightsmile:

A blind pony. What a very interesting idea. I loved this story. I wish there was more.

Ah! I didn't realize you had posted this here as well. What a delightful little surprise. :D

It is always nice to see some world building for your OCs, so thanks for sharing with us!

-Lumino

That certainly was interesting.

I really like the premise behind the story; that was actually what caught my attention and made me decide to read through it. I really like the idea of a story written from the perspective of a blind character who "sees" things through smell, sound, and blobs of colour.

The actual execution needs some editing though. The story felt too "tell me" as opposed to "show me". That and the sudden *Anthea’s POV* / *Speaker change* bits made me feel like I was forcibly dragged around by the nose through the story's plot.

It felt like the story was yelling at me with each new scene jump:

THIS IS A STORY!
YOU WILL NOW READ IT!
...
THIS IS THE END OF THE FIRST SECTION!
HERE IS A NEW SECTION!
YOU WILL NOW READ IT!
...
YOU WILL NOW READ THIS NEW SECTION OVER HERE!
...
THE SECTIONS ARE ALL COMPLETE!
YOU MAY NOW FINISH READING THE STORY!

A little bit of editing TLC would go a long way to tightening up the story and making it flow more naturally.

Do not get discouraged though! I sincerely hope you stick around and refine and improve your craft. I would like to read more of what you have to offer.
:pinkiehappy:

Well, aside from a few grammar errors, this story was wonderful! A very cute backstory, indeed! Nice touch on making Annie blind, by the way. Characters with disabilities are almost never created, or touched on.

Good story but the whole *Anthea’s POV* thing was a negitive in my book. You could replace those with a line break and it would look somewhat nicer.

Also at one point I think you went from 1st person to 3ed person, which sould be fixed.

3605654 thanks :D and yeah I'm really bad at pacing XP working on it though. I'm definitely more of an artist than a writer lol

3606216 thank you so much :D and I do plan to do more stories so no worries :)

3607044 thanks :D my stories are more of something to get the point across and tell people about my characters. In the future p however, I plan to improve on my writing skills and do a REAL story :)

3643983 thanks for the feedback :) the shifts are definitely awkward hahaha this story was more of a "alright kilala let's try your hand at writing by making your first fanfic ever for fun" kind of thing. I've found that when I write, I write things as if they were an episode which sort of explains the abrupt shifts and semi rushed pacing. I plan on writing more REAL fanfics but yeah this one was mostly to help my deviantart watchers get a better picture of who Anthea is as a character as well as where she came from XP

3693175 thanks :) and yeah I've been getting that a lot :) don't think too much of it. This story is mostly for character building and helping my deviantart watchers grasp Anthea's character better. I plan on making more fanfics that will show my true writing skills in the future so hopefully if you stick around you'll set some improvement :D

3693584
Twas still a good story so you can be proud of it :eeyup:

i haven't read the story yet i know of this picture from the artist DA and i should say i know
what is to be blind and want to do something and not feel like u cant do anything on your own (i live in mex and i've saw so much people who work even being in that condition)

...Why is there water coming out of my eyes? Blast it, this always happens whenever I read stuff like this...

Ooh, really enjoyable story right here! :pinkiehappy:

I should remember not to read fanfics at school. I nearly cried. Very well done! :twilightsmile:

Very Sweet story. Great job, I hope there are more stories to come like this.

That was well written and adorable. I really do hope you decide to continue your writing efforts.

Error in the description.

3906710 oh nuuu where?

3907098

to take action prove I was anything

3907175 oh, thanks for catching that :D

3907756 You thought I was trolling, didn't you?

3907969 Actually, no XD I'm totally aware that I have horrific grammar and I didn't doubt for a second that I probably messed up somewhere haha. 'Tis fixed now :D Thanks again :pinkiehappy:

3907991 I am one of dem nazi's. I graammer lik a prow11!!1!!
Ur wellcum.

3908133 Wut? Wuz it sumthing i sad? (now I'm just acting like my english teacher:ajbemused:)

So I was thinking of doing something for this story, make an animation of sorts for it.
Well, it wont be really an animation, it would be similar to the Rainbow Dash Presents videos, if you know who they are.
So before I start stuff for it, can I have permission to do this?:pinkiehappy:

3927666 oh my gosh I would love that!

3927923
It'll take a while, I've never done a vid like that before, I WILL START NOW

This is one of the sweetest fics I've ever read on this site. Great job! I'm really starting to love this universe!!

Wow... just... wow... I've never been struck so hard with the feels in my entire live. That was just... no words can describe how sweet that was. I loved it. ^^, I would like very much if, later on in my own MLP fic which I'm writing on Fanfiction.net, I could use Anthea for Fluttershy and my character's child? I'll give you credit for the creation of Anthea, of course. :fluttercry:

Huh.

This is one of the first few stories I've read of this universe. It's rather interesting. Maybe I should go find more of these stories and read them.

A nicely done story ... How come I never found out about this I may never know...

But a good read nonetheless! I expect more from you. :pinkiehappy:

Aw man it ended:fluttershysad:
Anyway awesome story!:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Fluttermom Forever!!!

Is this the end of it, or will there be more chapters?

:twilightsmile: Awwwww... Happy feelings around!

Thank you!

This was wonderful read, in all honesty before I finished I found myself wishing there was another chapter or continuation story.

So dysfunctional, yet so close.

They put the Fun in Dysfunctional!

I'm preeety sure I read that in one of your art descriptions...

"knowing who her friends were made me feel like I was entering something so much bigger. "
WOW, I LOVE IT!

Very sweet :twilightsmile: You should write more stories.

how could anyone dislike this heartwarming and adorable story

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