5: The Decision
As the days since my little talk with Celestia passed, nothing really changed. Luna was still in charge of moon duty, I was still roaming the castle in the evening, shooting the shit with the Night Guard, and the general public still knew nothing about the oncoming bundle of royal joy. That gave me some solace, I guess. Given how I reacted to the news, I could only imagine the public backlash when the word finally got out. Come to think of it, I was surprised Night Wing had yet to spill the beans to this world’s version of TMZ, which was some rag going by EQD. The guy had his loyalties, and I’m very fortunate that I’m one of them.
I guess that’s why I got along so well with the rest of Luna’s guard, especially since there were only ten of them. The simple fact that they were alone in a world that didn’t readily accept them really stuck with me, given I was in the same position as them. But despite that, there was still one thing that separated me from them - they weren’t entirely alone.
Sure, I guess you could count Luna and Celestia as humans like me, but Luna’s only stuck like that because she’s my baby mama and Celestia just wants to be there for her sister. The moment he - or she, for that matter - pops out, things will go right back to the way they were before we somehow managed to make a person – they’d be ponies again, and I would be stuck with the second-strangest mixed breed creature that ever came to be.
“God, that’s going to be hard to explain,” I grumbled to myself, imagining my kid sitting in front of me and Luna. As a pony, of course. “That’ll be the weirdest ‘birds and the bees’ talk anyone would ever go through…”
As time went on and I couldn’t force the thoughts of explaining to my kid what they were out of my head, more questions began to seep in from that seed of panic. Where would they go to school? How would the other kids react to them? How would the nobles? Would Luna get any backtalk from the ponies about how strange her kid and lover were?
Those and many more questions kept circling through my mind (again) as I slowly made my way down the same hall (again) for eightieth-odd time in a month again. I couldn’t even remember these things right anymore. All I knew was that it was ‘same old, same old’, and despite the majesty this place once held, it was really starting to wear me down.
It made me wonder how the hell Celestia managed to stay sane in a place like this for so long. Day in day out, seeing the same thing for hundreds (thousands?) of years, it has to do a number on the mind. I could only admire her for not becoming a sadistic tyrant or a crazy pervert now after all those years. God knows I’d have lost it long ago. Maybe if I ran into her during my roaming I could ask her how she does it?
“Lord Ryan!” a familiar voice called ahead of me. I looked up to see two figures currently walking along their patrol route, their armor and forms providing a stark contrast to the average palace pony.
“What have I told you, Night Wing?” I said with a smile. The three of us came to a neat stop in front of each other in the hallway. “Aedan works just fine.”
“Apologies, Lord Rya- I mean, Aedan…” Night Wing replied, shaking his head, “I’m sure you know that it’s rather hard to abandon military training.”
“That I do.” I smiled to myself, remembering my days back in the military. Four damn good years in the Marines. Then I got tagged.
“Uh… Lord Ryan?” Night Wing’s counterpart said. “Is… is there something wrong?”
“I’m fine,” I grunted, slightly frustrated at the fact that they called me ‘Lord Ryan’ again, “but please call me-“
I was at a loss for words the second I looked to Night Wing’s partner. I couldn’t recognize her at first, which was a little weird given I spend most of my time with the Night Guards when I’m not with Luna. But after a few seconds of looking her over I knew exactly who she was, especially since she was a good head shorter than Night Wing and there was only one Night Guard that small. Of course, in the time it took me to remember her name, she had started to fidget slightly, and also taken to the tactic of staring through me, like I was giving a surprise inspection for her uniform.
“Star Rider…” I said in a slightly awkward fashion, “Haven’t seen you in a while…”
“Forgive my absence, my lord,” she said, quickly bowing her head. “I was transferred to the north a few months ago for training exercises.”
“No need to apologize kid, I’ve been there once or twice,” I said, taking a knee so she wouldn’t have to look up as much. “How’s being back here in Canterlot treating you?”
“Just fine, my lord,” she replied, nodding quickly, not even thinking to look back up. “Now if you’ll excuse me-”
Before Night Wing or I could say anything, Star Rider ran off as fast as she could down the hall, but not fast enough to hide that her face was practically glowing from embarrassment. I watched her run for several seconds before I heard faint snickers behind me. I slowly turned to see that Night Wing had almost lost his bearing completely. All it took was one look from me and he could no longer contain himself. He burst out laughing to the steady motion of my head shaking.
“You set this up didn’t you?” I asked, bringing my hand to its familiar position on my face.
“I-I’m sorry Aedan…” he replied, catching his breath, “I… I just couldn’t resist.”
“I’d figured,” I said, looking back to where Star Rider had run off to. “Why would you go and do that to a sweet little thing like her?”
“We work nights - nothing ever happens at night,” Night Wing replied, holding in the last few stray amounts of laughter. “We’ve gotta do something to make the time go by.”
“Very professional of you, O’ Cãpitan of the Night Guard,” I said, laying on enough sarcasm that even Luna would be able to pick it up. “I’ll be sure to tell Luna and Celestia how you manage to keep everything in line.”
“You wouldn’t,” Night Wing said with a smile.
“What makes you think that?”
“I’ve heard one or two of your stories,” he replied confidently. “What we do to pass the time is hardly as bad as what you’ve done.”
“I was young and stupid back then, now I’m just young,” I said in response. “If anything, I’m wondering why she’s still so embarrassed about omething that happened months ago.”
“Well… she did see you naked.”
“Ponies are almost always naked,” I grunted, making Night Wing let out a chuckle, “and besides, it’s not like I’m the most bizarre thing you guys have ever seen.”
“Oh, you’re far from the weirdest thing in Equestria,” Night Wing said, rolling his eyes. “It’s just not every day you see something new and unexpected that happens to be the new love of a recently returned diarch of the nation. That’s not weird, it’s hilarious.” He paused for a few moments to look to the ground before he decided to go on. “Oh, and you were doing the mommy daddy dance with Luna when she saw you naked - no matter what that’s ALWAYS awkward to walk into.”
I was about to deliver a response, but before I could say anything Night Wing came to rigid attention. I knew given my past experiences in the military that that could only mean two things: either you were about to get verbally destroyed, or a higher up was coming around when you were goofing off. I decided that it was the latter, given that Night Wing hadn’t really been goofing off and that if anyone was going to be yelling, it would be him. That meant that only one of two people were behind me and the only way I was going to be able to tell was by what transpired in the next few seconds.
The sudden feeling of arms sliding down my waist was a dead giveaway. I closed my eyes and spun around, smiling to myself as I wrapped the person behind me in a loving embrace, but as I squeezed I realized that there was something… off about the person I thought I was hugging. Something that felt much bigger and softer than usual. Thinking it was a good idea to disengage and try opening my eyes, I did so and had my fears confirmed, because when I did I saw a pair of dazzling pink eyes staring level with mine.
“Good evening to you too Aedan,” Celestia said in a sultry tone, biting her lip. “I’m glad that you’re so happy to see me too.”
“Well, I wasn’t really expecting you…” I said, slowly bringing my arms across my chest, “especially given you nearly stuck your hands down my pants…”
“As if you would’ve complained if I had,” she replied, mimicking my motion by crossing her arms just under her bust, making it almost pop out of her dress.
I was silent for a few seconds, fighting my primal, red-blooded American male urges to look down. It was true I probably wouldn’t have minded it, but despite that fact there were other, more pressing matters to me than that. First I needed an excuse, one good enough to get me out of the current situation, and fortunately it didn’t take long for me to come up with something plausible.
“Where’s Luna gone off to?” I asked, stepping away from her perfectly shaped breasts. “I’ve been meaning to talk to her.”
“I’m sure she’s off wandering the dreamscape,” Celestia said, looking down the hall towards the main throne room. “It is her job after all.”
I stared blankly at her just long enough to get a laugh before walking past her without so much as a goodbye. I was even able to get a good step or two away from her before I felt the familiar tug of her magic on my shoulders. Knowing that I really didn’t have a chance of getting away, I stopped and let out a disgruntled sigh before bringing my hand up to my face once more.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Celestia asked, pulling me back to her side. “We only just started talking.”
“I decided to get on with my evening,” I grumbled in a reply. “I thought that was obvious by me walking away.”
“But you didn’t even say goodbye,” Celestia pouted, her face suddenly becoming irrationally cute.
“Figured I didn’t need to say it,” I said, shaking my head. “Now if you’d please-“
“I think I’d rather not,” she interrupted, pulling me in and throwing her arm over my shoulder as she started to lead me down the direction that Night Wing and Star Rider had come from. “I can tell when something’s on your mind.”
“Am I that much of an easy read?” I sighed, loosening my shoulders.
“It’s easy to know someone’s thoughts when you’ve got magic,” she giggled, playfully sticking out her tongue.
“I thought you agreed along with your sister not to do that.”
“I can’t help it if they’re literally screaming at me,” Celestia shrugged. “Now what exactly is it that you’ve been meaning to ask me?”
Before I could say anything I’d realized that we were already several strides away from Night Wing. He was still frozen at attention, but you could tell that he was shocked at what had just transpired even from that distance. I decided to think little of it, especially since I had a chance to discuss what immortality really meant with someone who has experience with the matter.
“So I’m sure you’ve guessed what I’ve wanted to ask you about by now,” I began, looking to the woman by my side.
“Not really,” she shrugged, “all I know is that you wanted to ask me something, the exact details weren’t really there.”
“Well I’ve been meaning to ask you…” I said, thinking really hard about what I should say next, “about how you’re still you.”
“What?” Celestia asked, cocking her eyebrow in confusion.
“You’ve been around for so long… how do you stay you?” I elaborated; maybe if I said it that way first she wouldn’t be looking at me so funny right now.
“Oh, you’re wondering how I’ve managed to stay sane after all these years?”
“Exactly.”
“Well, wine helps,” she said, letting out a giggle, “but honestly I guess it’s just your way of looking at things.”
“Care to explain?” I asked. “That’s not really a lot to go off on, you know.”
“It’s rather simple really,” she explained, snapping her fingers to open the door we were slowly approaching on the far side of the hallway. “I’ve been around for thousands of years; in fact I’m older than Luna by more than a century and a half.”
“You’re HOW many years older than Luna?"
“One hundred seventy two,” she clarified, only this time more reluctantly, “but if you take into account the different growth period of an alicorn when compared to a pony, it’s equivalent to about fifteen years of age.”
“I wonder what would happen if that news got out…” I said, smiling devilishly.
“I think a certain human would get to know what the atmosphere of our moon is like,” Celestia replied without any hesitation. “But that’s beside the point. The point is that I’ve been around for a very long time.”
“Obviously,” I said with a snicker, “I mean I knew you were old, but being the elder by nearly two centuries? That’s gotta-“
A sudden yet firm slap to the back of my head silenced me momentarily, but the smile on my face was far from gone. When I saw how flustered she was I only managed to hold in a single snort before involuntarily throwing my head back in an explosion of laughter. I would have to remember this the next time she started teasing me the way she always does. A few seconds into my laughter spasm I felt the ground come out from under me. Opening my eyes I realized I was now face to face with Celestia, only she was upside down.
I didn’t understand what was going on until I looked up. Well, up from my perspective. The first thing I noticed was Celestia’s barely covered cleavage, but the slightly more alarming thing lay beyond them. The floor that I had been walking on just seconds ago was now several feet below my head. A quick glance down (up?) at my feet confirmed that I was flipped-turned upside down.
“You done?” she asked, furrowing her brow.
“Only for now,” I said, still smiling.
“About as much as I can expect from you. Now, where was I?” she asked, slowly placing me back by her side, head first. “Ah yes, dealing with immortality, or in your case, agelessness.”
After falling over since my head wasn’t expressly designed to function as a foot, I got back up and brushed some imaginary dust off my shirt. “Yes, how do you deal with it?”
“Well…” she said, rubbing her chin, “change.”
“What?”
“Change,” Celestia repeated, opening another door after she had closed after she picked me up with an outstretched hand. “Mixing things up every few decades has really helped with the ceaseless drudgery of life.”
“Anything else other than change?” I shrugged. “There has to be more than just that.”
“Oh, there are a few other things,” she smiled, looking off into the distance, “but I’m sure you’ve already got the hang of ONE of those.”
I was about to ask her what she was talking about, but the slow, seductive way her hands traveled from her shoulders to her hips was a dead giveaway. She even added a little shake for extra effect. I had to mentally bleach out a thought or two from my head before trying to think again, or else this moment would go down in the gutter like so many before it. Pondering on how to bring the situation back to seriousness, I decided the only way would be to approach it with the subtlety of a train that just went off the rails.
“What about friends?” I asked. “How do you deal with them dying?”
Celestia suddenly froze in place, as if I’d said some sort of trigger word and she was about to snap. I started to back off slightly, hoping that I wasn’t about to get turned to ash for saying something I shouldn’t, but Celestia suddenly grabbed my wrist with a force that I hadn’t expected from a woman of her size. There was no way I was getting away from what was about to happen.
After several seconds of waiting Celestia finally turned to me with loving eyes and the most genuine smile I had ever seen on her face. Without warning she pulled me close to her and wrapped me up so tightly I briefly panicked that she was about to snap me. I endured her embrace for a good minute before she finally decided to loosen up her grip, but only enough so that I wouldn’t suffocate from her pair of pillows.
“I don’t really think they’re gone…” she suddenly whispered into my ear.
“What?”
“I don’t think of them as being gone,” she repeated, finally releasing me. “They live on through cherished memories, whether they be good or bad. I keep them all, and that’s why they’ve never left me.”
“Well… uh… wow,” I said, scratching the back of my head. “I guess I never really thought of it that way.”
“That way of thinking is the only way to keep such a calm mind,” Celestia said with a nod before pointing off into the distance. “Luna’s just over there, Aedan.”
I followed her hand until I saw a faintly glowing orb on the other side of the study we had just walked into. It was unusually dark; I could barely make out the bookshelves that obstructed my view. I had to focus, but it was clear there was a figure inside the orb: Luna. I was a bit surprised at first; I’d never seen her doing her dream trotting or whatever the hell she called it. For what it was worth it was probably pretty damn serial, but it probably pretty just mundane after half the things I’ve seen since I’ve been here. I went to approach her, but not before Celestia grabbed me once more.
“I wouldn’t touch her if I were you,” she warned. “It’ll suck you right into the dreamscape with her, and I’m sure you don’t want to see the dreams of us ponies…” a brief pause fell on her before a cherub’s innocent smile graced her face, “especially those of the young stallions.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, rolling my eyes. As if I’ve never had a wet dream. “Now would you kindly?”
“Of course,” she said, pulling me in to give a peck on the cheek, which surprised me more than anything in the past hour. “You two have fun.”
“Yeah…” I said, rubbing the side of my face Celestia kissed. “You too…”
Celestia exited the room as I processed what just happened, leaving only me, the bookshelves, Luna, and the faint blue light that radiated from her. I approached her slowly, thinking it would have been a good thing to ask Celestia how the hell to get her out of her current state, but hindsight is called that for a reason. Step after step I wondered how I was going to go about doing what I wanted to do, and each time it ended with me as Dirk the Daring after he’d made a wrong choice. By the time I’d finally reached her, out of options and impatient, I decided to do what was quite possibly the third or fourth stupidest thing I’d ever done.
“Leroy Jenkins!” I exclaimed before grabbing her arm.
Within seconds I could feel myself being pulled into a place I wasn’t really sure I wanted to go. Colors out of place passed by unformed places in an infinite sea, beyond all of nature as I had ever known and likely ever will know. When I finally arrived somewhere I could vaguely make sense of, it only looked like I was in the middle of a bad acid trip.
“So… THIS is the dreamscape…” I said, crossing my arms and looking all around me. “I half expected to see a one eyed pyramid with a top hat and a bow tie…”
With my quip out of the way, I took more careful stock of my surroundings, hoping to see Luna sitting in the middle of this place flipping through all the things that went through pony’s heads. I didn’t have such luck though, so in spite of my better judgment yet again, I decided to press on in hopes of finding her. I didn’t really know how long I was looking for her, but time seemed to go by rather quickly as I continued my search. The openings into pony’s dreams were were the only reason time had any real meaning here. Some of them were pretty entertaining, like the one where Twilight’s dragon was riding her like Falcor. Others were absolutely appalling, like a certain turquoise unicorn with an unhealthy obsession of me having a rather unique dream involving me, five pounds of butter, and some jumper cables. But I pressed on, stalwart in my endeavor to find the one person in here that mattered to me. I also needed her to get me out of here, because I wasn’t going to stumble on the exit anytime soon. Call it a hunch.
Time passed and I continued to look for Luna, but still I had no luck in finding her. I was starting to wonder if I was ever going to track her down, but as soon as I passed one particular opening I heard the unmistakable giggle of my muse. I doubled back, hoping that she was just playing some sort of game with me this whole time. If she was, I’d make her pay for making me see some of the things in here. The opening that I heard her from was actually a rather stately wooden door, with the sort of fancy whorls that wouldn’t seem out of place for a noble’s house. Deciding to play it cool until I figured this stuff out for once, I reached out for the doorknob and proceeded to walk right into the room as I opened it. That attitude lasted until I set foot on the red carpet.
The doorway opened a very posh bedroom, complete with red wine and dimly lit candles. The king sized bed was covered in crimson velvet, heart shaped pillows of various sizes were strewn across it, and each had golden tassels tipped by diamonds. Despite all the grandeur the one thing that caught my attention the most was the one actually on the bed - my gorgeous Luna in pony form, wrapped in the most elaborate white lace I had ever seen.
I had no idea what was going on. Why was Luna in pony form? Why was she wearing a negligee like that? Why did she have bedroom eyes while looking away from me? Who was that stallion that just walked in? Wait, what?
Sure enough, a unicorn stallion walked in, clap in a gold and sapphire encrusted robe and oozing with that ‘I’m better than you’ aura. I could tell he was a noble just by the way he walked around. I stood there and watched from the threshold, interested to see just exactly where all of this was headed.
“I’m so glad you brought me here…” Luna said just before taking a sip of her wine. “It’s so nice to get out of the castle.”
“I wouldn’t doubt it,” he replied, downing a shot full of scotch. “Canterlot can be so crowded at times.”
“Indeed,” Luna replied with a nod. “I’ve always preferred Trottingham as it is.”
“Of course,” he agreed with a smile. “But I must ask, how has my entire estate treated you?”
“Oh, just wonderfully…” Dream Luna breathed airily. She was definitely not the real one - she never gushed like that, and would have sooner ruined the stallion’s impeccably groomed face with her hind hooves if someone with his personality tried hitting on her. “The food is divine, the service top notch…”
I decided to leave it at that and turned my back on them. There was a seemingly endless amount of ground that I still haven’t covered, and Luna could’ve been anywhere in the vastness which was the dreamscape.
“Maybe I should go west…” I said to myself, gazing deep into the infinite. “Or is that east? Oh Christ I’m-“
“And I don’t have to deal with that insufferable bipedal creature.”
“What?” I asked myself, turning around. “What did they just say about me?”
“Oh, I could only imagine how terrible it is to walk around with that hairless ape,” the stallion said, now sitting on a cushion that had suddenly appeared next to the bed while pouring another shot of scotch. “I’m sure he needs a leash.”
“If not he’d just keep running into the walls!” Dream Luna laughed. “Ever since he’s arrived he’s been nothing but a bother to the whole of society…”
“Surely he can’t be that bad,” the stallion replied. “Your sister made him the royal consort, did she not?”
“That was out of mere pity,” Dream Luna replied. “He wouldn’t know how to please anypony, let alone himself.”
“I guess that much is expected from an inferior being,” the stallion said, this time sipping away at his drink. “The lesser forms of life deserve a chance to live, I guess.”
“If my sister says so…” Dream Luna said, rolling her eyes before finishing her wine. “Now… was there another matter we were about to attend to?”
“Ah yes,” he said, getting out of his seat with a large grin, “there was.”
His golden robe fell to the floor as he climbed on to the bed towards Dream Luna, who rolled onto her hooves and raised her flank in the air. At this point, my blood was boiling. First off, he’s a unicorn snob, which automatically puts him in my ‘piece of shit’ zone. Second, he’s been insulting me and assuming I’m some retarded monkey that would have trouble flinging its poo at people. Third, and most importantly, this was about to turn into a wet dream with the woman I loved and had given so much for.
“I’m sure I’ll do better than anything that hideous creature could do,” he whispered into Dream Luna’s ear as he positioned himself over her.
“Don’t set so low a bar for yourself, I’m sure you’ll do much better than that…”
The two drew closer and closer to one another, their lips almost touching. I hit my shit limit right as it happened. “Oh FUCK no!” I bellowed, bursting into the dream to their combined surprise.
“What in the name of Celestia?” he said, jumping off Luna. “How are you, a lesser being than I, even-“
The side table next to his chair cut him off midsentence, followed by his gold plated chair. I only saw red, just because this uptight, never-had-to-give-up-anything-in-his-life, self-centered, holier-than-thou scumbag thinks I’m nothing more than stupid hairless monkey that doesn’t deserve the woman I nearly died to keep safe. Once my rage had slightly subsided - and I stress the word ‘slightly’ - I stood over my broken opponent, still terrified out of his wits; he literally pissed himself in fear as the dream started to collapse around us.
“W-what do you want?” he stuttered, shielding his face, “What have I done to-“
“Listen here, you dickheaded piece of shit excuse of a pony,” I interrupted, “if I EVER hear you say or try something like this again I’ll make it a point that Celestia personally renounces your nobility,” he tried to crawl away, but before his first hoof had come back down I grabbed him by the throat and made him come face to face with me, so he could see the fire raging in my eyes, “AND if you EVER dream about the woman I love like this again, I will personally find you, break your horn off and shove it so far up your ass you’ll puke rainbows for the rest of your life! Am I-“
Before I could finish I felt something forcefully pulled me out of the doorway, leaving the urine soaked noble to cower in the corner of his dream before the opening collapsed completely. Before I could ask what the hell happened I was spun around to see the reason I’d been in here in the first place.
“AEDAN!” Luna yelled, wrapping me up in her embrace, “What are you doing in here right now? It’s not safe for someone like you to be wandering around in here! It’s too easy to get lost.”
“Well, I was looking for you,” I put as bluntly as I could, “but it looks like you found me. How’d you do that anyway?”
“I don’t have the title ‘Mistress of Dreams’ for nothing,” she sighed. “I could detect the anomaly the instant you entered this place, but the nightmare you caused pinpointed your location.”
“I guess that’s a good thing then,” I shrugged, looking back to where she pulled me from. “If not, I may have been stuck here forever.”
Luna’s stern look was enough to tell me that she was having none of my flippant attitude at the moment. It was one of the more unsettling looks she could give, given that she was usually one of the most carefree spirits I’ve ever known. An uneasy smile graced my face as I continued to be mentally castrated by someone who was half a foot shorter and one hundred pounds lighter than me. It may have been an odd experience staring down a woman not even close to your height, but when one shorter than you is pissed off, you may as well just roll over on your back and accept the lashing.
“Look Luna…” I began. “I’m-“
“You IDIOT!” she suddenly burst into tears before burying her head into my chest. “Do you have any idea what could’ve happened if I hadn’t found you?”
“I’m guessing you’ll tell me?”
“You could have been lost here!” she yelled again, tears tracing the outlines of her cheekbones. “If I couldn’t find you in the dreamscape, I’d have to bring you back from the waking world, and since you can’t control how time flows for you in here, you could have spent decades lost in here while I did that!”
“That sounds pretty bad,” I grimaced, “so… any chance that we could get out of here now?”
“We’re already out…” she said, looking to our surroundings.
I followed suit and realized we were in the study where the whole crazy experience started, except the blue light was gone, replaced by a dozen candles lit in a circle around us. I turned my attention back to Luna, the tears were gone but it was still very clear that she was upset about what happened. Calling on my vast stores of experience dealing with situations just like this one, I did the only thing that worked without fail in the past - I wrapped her up in my arms and pulled her close, hoping my embrace would be enough to calm her swelling emotion.
“You can be such an idiot…” she murmured into my chest. “How did I ever fall for you?”
“Because I’ve done some pretty stupid things for your sake?” I asked, running my hand through her hair.
Luna looked up to me with a small smile before I began to gently wipe away the dry tears that remained on her face. “Why do you have to be right?” she asked, grasping my hand.
“Because I’ve got a way with words,” I replied with a grin, “and I know you love it.”
I leaned in for what was supposed to be just a quick kiss, but Luna had other plans in mind. She pulled me in and pressed her lips against mine up until she needed to breathe. With both of us now gasping slightly for oxygen, she wrapped her hands around my waist and rested her head against my chest.
“Why did you go into the dreamscape?” Luna asked after several seconds of silence.
“I was looking for you,” I answered. “Just wanted to be with you and all that fun stuff.”
“You could’ve waited until I was done,” she stated. “It wouldn’t have even been thirty minutes.”
“Call me impatient, then,” I shrugged, lifting her up to look me in the eyes. “Your company is just that addicting.”
“You would say something like that,” she giggled, kissing the tip of my nose. “But why did you give that stallion a nightmare?”
I paused for a moment before gently placing her back on the ground. “He said some things…” I said blankly. “Things that pissed me off.”
“Like what?”
“That I was inferior” I growled, clenching my fist. “Nothing more than a common animal; and he had the gall to say you didn’t love me.”
“What?” she asked, shocked. “Why would he say that?”
“There was another you there, one that wasn’t like you at all. The way he saw you… a sexual object for nothing more than his own pleasure.”
“Oh, it was one of those dreams,” Luna smirked. “Then I guess you should count yourself lucky that you didn’t find a young colt from Trottingham’s dreams,” a hint of red began to show on her face. “One visit to Ponyville and ever since he’s had that same dream night after night. It’s silly, really; I would never go for one so youn-”
“I’m being serious Luna,” I replied, sternly enough for her to realize I wasn’t in a joking mood anymore. “That stallion, whoever he is, thinks I’m livestock - LESS than livestock - He thinks you can belong to hi-”
“But I don’t,” Luna interrupted, pulling my face to her own so I would give her a chance to speak. “That night, before we made love for the first time, do you remember what I said?”
“I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine.” I replied without missing a beat.
“And I meant that,” she said quietly, bringing my anger down further. “I AM yours, because you ARE mine.”
“Kinda hard to get that through those gold encrusted skulls of theirs,” I sighed. “How are we gonna pull that one off?”
“Well…” Luna trailed off, a coy smile gracing her lips, “there is ONE thing that we’ve been holding off.”
I watched as Luna grabbed my right hand and slowly brought it down to her abdomen, placing it just below her navel. My eyes doubled in size - she couldn’t have been suggesting what I thought she was. But when I saw her classic lip bite and her hypnotic stare, I knew that she was pulling out all the stops to sway me.
“You can’t be serious,” I said bluntly, “surely you can’t be serious.”
“I am serious Aedan,” she said with a confident nod, “and don’t call me Shirley.” Luna then doubled up her grip with her other hand and began to squeeze and jump enthusiastically. “It’s been over two months, Aedan! I can’t keep containing the excitement for the three of us!!”
“Like I haven’t noticed,” I grumbled. “There’s a list of baby girl names in the bathroom - three quarters of them have already been crossed out.”
“One must prepare very early for the name of the youngling,” she said, taking on the tone of a professional lecturer and moving one of her hands off of mine to adjust an invisible pair of glasses on her face, “and if it’s a girl we-“
“Don’t put that voodoo on me,” I said quickly, bringing my hands up in a mock ‘done with this shit’ gesture, “I’ve seen one too many romantic comedies, and if stuff like this keeps going the way it is, I’ll be drowning in estrogen.”
“Then let us announce our child,” Luna said with a smile, placing my hands back where the baby should be. “Let us break the norm of your romantic comedies and prove that we truly love one another to those high and mighty walking dildos!”
“W-where did you learn that?” I said, suddenly fighting back a laugh.
“I overheard you and Night Wing discussing the nobles of Canterlot one evening,” she explained. “I believe it was Night Wing that coined the term.”
“Yup, definitely Night Wing.” -She must never know…-
“So, you are willing to make the news public?” Luna asked with what could have been literal stars in her eyes.
“Well, when you look like that…” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, “how could I say no?”
“WONDERFUL!” Luna exclaimed, almost loud enough to make my ears bleed before wrapping her arms around my neck.
I slowly and uneasily wrapped my arms around her as well, but the look on my face was more reminiscent of Bert from Sesame Street than anything. I sighed to myself - I’d done it again, and let Luna talk me into something I knew for a damn fact I wasn’t ready for. Because by this time tomorrow, even the dead are going to hear about the event that rocked Equestria’s world.
OMAIGAWDITSFINALLYHERE!!!!!!1!!!!! 
x9000+ I'm so sorry that this took so long everyone... I'm SO Fking sorry... Life and projects killed me in February... hopefully March will be slightly more graceful to me... anyway enough blabbing, on to the real reason you read my damn author's notes... *knuckle crack*
Aedan's life sounds boring... like really boring... 1,000 points to anyone who can find all the references! 
I don't need to be called tha- Oh hai Night Wing... and... um... Star Rider...
Bat Ponies are so cute when they're nervous 
Damnit Night Wing...
You're right Night Wing, it's always awkward when someone walks in when you're gettin' some (I may or may not know from experience... love you dad)
Surprise hug could only mean one thing! Unless that one thing has double D's then it's... CELESTIA!
Celestia, STOP trying to Give Aedan a boner... it's hard to walk with those.
With that out of the way it's time for a little talk Tia.
Wow you're THAT old?! 
(Aedan now has the means to combat Celestia's sexiness!)
TO DA-
No...
Okay... so change and... Oh GAWDDAMNIT Celestia enough with that!
Then reality hits you like a wall... and in Aedan's case, two shapely, ample, supple, soft, giant breasts.
So Celestia's got the right way of dealing with loss... that's a great way to think of it... take notes kids.
Hey Luna's here! And she be walkin' in da dreams mon.
LEEEERRROOOOOOOYYYY JJJEEEEENKIIINNNNNSSS!
In the dreamscape there is only nothing, excpet some weird ass dreams... for God's sake Lyra... I know you have an obsession, but Jesus...
Huh... that's a weird door... let's take a look in-Well that was unexpected...
Let's see royal douchebag... Luna in lace... alcohol... and a bedroom... ... ... I foresee no negative consequences.
The FK he just say about him? 
Oh HELL NO! *Ringing of a boxing ring bell*
Calling out the sister of your intended lover's name is never a good start to romance, even if your version of Freaddy suddenly bursts into your dreams.
Aedan's got threats down... that's good, really good...
There's the REAL Luna!
Never go into the Dreamscape... NEVER! (unless you're Luna of course... then by all means, go every night...)
and that's WHY you don't go into the dreamscape.
FYI I don't like Luna/Pip pairings much... Pedophillia isn't cool dude...
Being called inferior pisses off any American... but if you say that he doesn't deserve the woman... that's when he loses his shit.
Little pep talk to calm down the nerves does a body good... wait... Luna... what are you doing... 
YOU WANNA WHAT?!
NO! BAD LUNA! NOT A GIRL!
Damnit she done talked him into something stupid again... God help Equestria... because upon the horizon there be a shit storm brewin'
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YES! NEW CHAPTER! MUST READ!
Oh bloody hell, it's great to have another chapter. Same great quality as always, coupled with what is possibly the most epic battle-cry in written and unwritten history.
I have the worst mental image of Aedan and Lyra right now. Like...holy hell, I'm going to have nightmares.
Bloody hell, your writing is freakin' priceless sometimes. Actually had to stop and make myself breathe several times throughout.
All in all, this was a good and solid chapter; looking forward to the next chapter and anything else you can pump out.
Best of luck in life and assorted endeavors.
~Ariin
YYEEEAAAAHHH!!!
LOVE IT!!! Love everything about it. Night Wing is hilarious. I can't wait for the next chapter. The shits gonna hit the fan. Take all the time you need to write it, its always worth the wait. Just on being awesome.
Dat pseudo NTR too stronk.
Just a little grammatical issue I saw (is that grammatical? I'm such a bad grammar nazi...), and figured I would point it out. Solve however you choose to, though I suggest, in my opinion, doing it like so.
For what it was worth it was pretty damn serial, but it was probably pretty mundane after half the things I've seen since I've been here.
This one I caught not too long after the previous one. All it really needs is a "in the," in between was and middle.
I don't think "those" is supposed to be there.
Other than that, I highly enjoyed this chapter. Reading the author's notes, I think I'm going to go back and try to find this references... Hmm...
But yea, YAY! NEW CHAPTER!
EDIT: Yea, no, I'm too young to catch these references. Oh well. Still an awesome chapter. As always, keep up the good work, but keep it up at your own pace, not what everyone else wants. I'm sure we can all wait, after all, the reward tastes sweeter the more it ripens.
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You set yourself up for that one. Great chapter as always.
GAAAH!! Networking homework....subnetting....kicking my ass....need......DISTRACTION!
*reads PM*
I always enjoy the humor and little encounters with the background characters as their conflicting personalities always liven up these updates into something truly fulfilling to read whenever I get the chance. That being said as soon as I saw the Flying High reference all I can think now is how much better everything would look if written in Jive
Seductive celly? Praise the sun, praise it!
4032158
In the end well all end up praising the sun...
derpicdn.net/img/2014/2/24/560805/full.png
i.imgur.com/MQUfflN.gif
But we also must praise the moon... for it too is grossly incandescent
derpicdn.net/img/2013/12/4/489467/large.jpeg
PRAISE THE CELESTIAL SISTERS! PRAISE THEM!
(We all may get a chance sooner than you think...)
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tealdragon.net/humor/graphics/shitfan.gif
This is what is going to happen when the announcement is made. Great chapter; I can't wait for the next one
4032311 that gif is quite frankly one pf the beast I've ever seen. Thank you for that.
4032311
Was that a Gravity Falls reference?
Also, I'm wondering how far the Celestia flirting is going to go
Oh boy... I suspect Aedan will start trolling more of these young colts in the future xD
4032311 Where did you get that sexy celestia pic?
4031858
Looks like I need to go over things a third time before I send them back. 
Gah! I'm a failure as an editor!
You want the "Ape" ? I'll give you the "Ape".
image.toutlecine.com/photos/k/i/n/king-kong-2005-88-g.jpg
The next chapter can't come soon enough. Good job
In the words of this story:
4032311
How I react when you update this story on the outside
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/185/885/SANDCASTLES.png
And this how I react on the inside
Keep this story going, best Luna romance story I've read thus far.
4033354
Aww, you don't fail. You just missed it and a helpful person pointed it out for you. That's all that is!
Either way, even with the small mishaps it's still a great chapter, and still the best fanfic I've ever read.
4032311 So that's what they look like...
*few moments of staring later...*
Oh god... umm... I think... I think I'm going to go clean up now...
cant waittttt for the next chapter sooooo amazing
While their at it, they might as well announce getting married. Cause announcing Luna got pregnant before marriage will make Aedan look worse in the public's eye than they already think.
A meeting with Bill Cipher sounds fun though ^^
Walking dildos, ha! Also, for that dream scene, it reminds me of something...you know what I mean
Also, I hate how the site never updates me on new chapters of stories such as yours.
Damn you Knighty! Damn you Obselence(AKA howthefuckdoispellyourname)
Bill Cypher from Gravity Falls!
God damn this was a good read.
ok
Amazing chapter, and so happy that snody stallion got verbally abused xD. Can't wait to see the next chapter!
I loved the prequel, now started to read the sequel, only current thoughts...
NEEDZ NEW CHAPTERZ, COME ON MAN, NEW CHAPTERZ NOW!!! :3
So Celestia IS flirting with him... I sense trouble in the future....
4031641 even though your icon doesn't match your name, i still think its pretty cool.
woulda been funnier if he gave the stallion a nightmare about being bled out by a marine in full BDU, that would have scared the living shit out of all the nobles!
Goddamn, I love this style of writing.
Ermergerd.
Illuminati unconfirmed.
Yeah. Somebody snipe the Nobles where the sun don't shine. Multiple times.
i.imgur.com/S9dFoqx.png
First thing that popped into my head.
5451756 its a gravity falls reference silly
Get out of here Bill