Chapter One: Learning the Ropes - Part I
Trauma Center: Equestrian Opinion
Chapter One: Learning the Ropes - Part I
Location: Ponyville Medical
A white medical carriage raced its way through the streets of Ponyville, its approach heralded by a magic-powered siren. Pulled by two large Earth Pony stallions in official Ponyville Medical uniforms, the carriage was swiftly approaching its destination: Ponyville Medical.
Waiting at the E.R. entrance to the hospital stood a white Earth Pony nurse with a pink mane. As head nurse of Ponyville Medical, she was barking out orders to the other nurses even before the ambulance had pulled up, preparing for the arriving patient. The moment that the drivers pulled up to the entrance, the nurses leapt into action, wheeling a gurney out of the carriage and into the hospital at speeds just below the point of being potentially dangerous.
A short while later, the same nurse was trotting down the hall of the E.R. ward with two Unicorn stallions. One, clearly the older of the two, had a light brown coat and dark brown, carefully styled mane. He wore glasses and a white coat, and had an EKG for a Cutie Mark. The other, younger stallion had a light blue coat and light brown, messy mane. He, too, wore glasses, but was without a white coat. His Cutie Mark was a blue pentagram.
As they trotted, the nurse spoke to the stallions, occasionally pausing in her rattling off of information to answer questions posed by the brown stallion, who was giving her his complete attention.
The young blue stallion, on the other hoof, was only partially paying attention. He was trying, he really was, but his thoughts were distracted by thoughts of: I wonder why Doctor Stables asked me to come? I'm supposed to be doing my rounds right now; what could he need me for?
Consumed as he was by his inner thoughts, he was quite surprised to hear the head nurse addressing him, annoyance clear in her tone. "Doctor Styles, are you even paying attention?"
Flustered at the attention suddenly on him, he simply blurted the first thing he thought of to say. "Of course, Nurse Redheart!"
Raising an eyebrow, Nurse Redheart appraised the blue stallion, before sighing in defeat, "No, you weren't. Doctor Styles, you really do need to take your job more seriously!"
Taken aback at being so easily found out, Dr. Styles scrambled to come up with an excuse. Eventually, he settled with the truth. "I do! I was just wondering why Doctor Stables called me here, and I guess I spaced out. I'm sorry, it won't happen again."
"I should hope not," the brown doctor spoke up. Turning to face Doctor Styles directly, he continued. "If you had been paying attention, Direct, you would know that I called you here because I want you to handle this operation."
"Oh, is that all-wait, WHAT!?" Doctor Styles shouted, immediately earning him a shushing from Nurse Redheart. "But," he continued, "but Doctor Stables! I can't operate right now! I- I've got, um, rounds! I'm supposed to be doing my rounds right now! So, clearly, I can't operate at the moment!" His weak smile couldn't have convinced the most gullible pony in Equestria, and was certainly doing him no favors under the calculating glares of Doctor Stables and Nurse Redheart.
"Doctor Styles," Nurse Redheart's stern voice broke his already wavering façade, and his face fell as his gaze dropped until he was looking at his own hooves, "you're not an intern anymore. You need to realize that being a doctor comes with a lot of responsibilities," Reaching out with a gentle but firm hoof, she raised his head so she could look him in the eye, "and you need to start taking things more seriously."
The stallion looked away, ashamed. A moment later, however, he turned back to face them both. "You're right, Nurse Redheart, as usual. But," looking to Doctor Stables, he asked sincerely, "are you sure that you really want me to handle an operation on my own? What if-" he moved a bit closer, dropping his voice to an almost imperceptible whisper, "what if I mess up? I don't want anypony to get hurt just because I'm inexperienced."
It had only been a short while since Doctor Styles had completed his residency and become a full-fledged surgeon at Ponyville Medical, and while he certainly knew how to operate, he had very little experience with actually doing so with a real patient.
Doctor Stables took a step back, putting them at a more professional distance, cleared his throat, and responded, unable to keep a hint of kindness from sneaking into his professional demeanor. "Don't worry, Direct. The patient is in no real danger. This is a simple extraction procedure, you should be able to handle it on your own by now."
Visibly relieved, Direct Styles rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Oh," he chuckled weakly. "Why didn't you say so?"
Redheart rolled her eyes as she turned to continue down the hall. "If you had been listening to my briefing, Doctor Styles, you would have heard me say that earlier."
The young doctor gave a nervous chuckle as he and Doctor Stables followed the white mare down the hall.
Half an hour later, Doctor Styles sat at a table in the briefing room next to the Operating Room in which his patient lay. Nurse Redheart and Doctor Stables were also present, the former standing at the front of the room with a collection of medical charts, while the latter, having just entered the room, moved to sit across from him.
Once Doctor Stables had taken his seat, Nurse Redheart began speaking.
"Let's begin the briefing. Our patient is Super Deal, a thirty-three-year-old Earth Pony stallion. He was found just inside the Everfree by a local farmpony. From what we can tell, he was attacked by a lone Timberwolf, and sustained several minor injuries."
The Everfree? Doctor Styles wondered. What was he doing out there on his own? The Everfree Forest was probably the most dangerous place in all of Equestria. Most ponies steered as far clear of it as they could. That was part of the reason why Ponyville was such a small town: it was built right next to the forest. To go in there alone, somepony would have to be either very brave, or very stupid.
Setting aside his ponderings, Direct continued listening to Redheart's briefing. "The patient has several lacerations on his chest and right foreleg, as well as foreign objects embedded throughout the same area. There will be two main objectives to this operation: suture any lacerations, and remove the foreign objects."
Turning to Doctor Styles, Doctor Stables spoke up. "Remember, Direct, the patient is in no imminent danger. Be thorough, and focus on precision over speed."
With conflicting feelings of confidence and nervousness flowing through him, Direct stood from the table. "Alright, then. Let's begin the operation."
Doctor Styles, now decked in a surgeon's gown and mask, stood over the unconscious form of an orange Earth Pony stallion. To Direct's right, Nurse Redheart managed a cart covered in various surgical instruments. Across the table, Doctor Stables was watching closely, present only in case of serious complications.
The patient's coat had been carefully shaved away from the injuries by other nurses, in order to prevent problems caused by the hair getting into the wounds. His chest had three long but shallow lacerations, arranged parallel to one another as they ran down across the right side of his chest. Near the end of the middle laceration, a wooden claw was sticking out. His right foreleg held a similar row of four lacerations, all of them ending in a sharp wooden tooth, clearly ripped from the Timberwolf's mouth as it tried to take a bite.
Her preparations complete, Nurse Redheart gave a quick nod to each doctor, then began instructing Doctor Styles. "Let's begin the operation. First off, you should start by suturing those lacerations," she pointed a hoof at the three long cuts on the patient's chest. "Take these sutures," she hoofed him a needle and a roll of suture thread, which he grabbed in a blue magical aura "and simply trace a zig-zag pattern across the laceration. The enchanted needle will take care of the rest."
Direct did as he was instructed, rolling his eyes as Nurse Redheart went on about the conveniences of modern magic. In all honesty, he already knew how to use sutures. However, the review was still very much welcomed by the more nervous part of him.
When the enchanted needle finished stitching up the final laceration, Nurse Redheart gave Direct a quick smile and nod. "Good work, Doctor Styles. Of course, stitching is one of the most basic surgery skills," Nurse Redheart took the needle and thread, stowing them back on the cart. "Now that that's done, we should move on to those embedded objects," she pointed a hoof at the claws and teeth in question, then retrieved a pair of forceps from the cart, hoofing them over to Direct's magical grasp.
"Just grip the object securely with the forceps, then carefully pull it out, right?" Direct's training was all returning to the forefront of his mind, and his voice held an amount of confidence that surprised even him.
Redheart's nod and smile told him all that he needed to know. "Exactly. Mind the direction as you remove the foreign objects, then place them in this tray," she said, pulling out a small tray as she did so.
Refocusing his attention on the patient, Direct carefully levitated the forceps into position, squeezed them closed on the Timberwolf claw, and slowly pulled it out of the hole it had created. Once it was out, he moved it over to the tray held by Nurse Redheart, and opened the forceps, dropping the claw into the tray. Repeating the process four more times, he removed each of the teeth from the patient's foreleg.
"Good work, Doctor. Now, all that's left is to seal up these smaller wounds left by the foreign objects. They're too small to require sutures, so we'll just use this," Nurse Redheart held up a small container filled with a green substance. "Apply a little bit of this Antibiotic Gel to each wound to heal it right up." As Doctor Styles grabbed the vial, she put a hoof to her chin in thought. "You know, 'Antibiotic Gel' is a rather inaccurate name, since it does so much more than just kill bacteria. In fact, it also-"
At this point, Direct was once again happily tuning her out, focused on applying a dab of the green gel to each of the small wounds. He watched as they quickly clotted up, sealing themselves in a matter of seconds. The gel truly was a miracle of modern science, killing bacteria, viruses, and a myriad other pathogens as well as stimulating the process of hemostasis, and even acting as an adhesive to hold things, like fractured bones, in place.
Swiftly completing his task, Doctor Styles looked down on the healed patient. Feeling his body relax as the tension of the operation flowed out of him, he was quite happy to declare: "Operation complete."
Finally ceasing her tangential rambling, Nurse Redheart studied the patient with a surprised expression, while Doctor Stables expertly stifled a grin. "Good work, Doctor Styles," she stated at last.
"That was quite impressive, Doctor Styles."
"Thank you, Doctor Stables. I'm just glad there were no complications." With the operation finished and the patient out of the O.R, Direct Styles was back in the briefing room for a post-op debriefing. Doctor Stables and Nurse Redheart were once again present.
Redheart nodded, "As we all are. Congratulations once again on a successful operation, Doctor."
"You definitely showed yourself to be quite focused during the procedure," Doctor Stables continued. Leaning closer so only Direct could hear, he added, "Not everypony can tune out Nurse Redheart's ramblings so well."
Both doctors stifled a snicker as their gazes flickered to the nurse in question, blissfully unaware of their attention. She was studying a clipboard that she had received from another nurse. Looking up, she turned her attention to Doctor Stables, who was now sitting at a normal distance from a whistling Doctor Styles. "Doctor Stables, it would seem that you are needed elsewhere." Her voice and calm expression were a bit strained, but Direct was too busy keeping his laughter internal to notice.
Doctor Stables stood and trotted over to look at the clipboard himself. A few seconds later, he turned back to Direct, his voice even more serious than usual. "Doctor Styles, you may go. I believe you have rounds to get back to?"
Though confused at his sudden dismissal, Direct stood and walked over to the door, exiting through it and trotting down the hall back toward his office. What was that all about?
Here it is at last!
Yes, a lot of the story, especially the beginning, will be directly based on the game. I hope to move a bit away from that as time goes on and the story progresses.
Leave a comment if you liked it (or if you didn't), and tell me why! It helps me write better when I know what is and isn't working.
Thanks for reading! 
Read on,
Legion
Stats
Page generated in 0.031 seconds
Total duration
942 users online
497,095 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hmm...
I heard that you'd like some constructive criticism, so I'm here!
So, I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to get started right away.
*Ahem*
Ok. This story, even in its early stages, has a bit of a... rushed feeling, you could say, to it. The storyline is solid (from what little of it we've been given), the characters seem rather well developed, but the flow of it is a bit fast. There are several places in which details could have been used to stretch out the story, and really get the reader to see the world they're reading.
As I was reading this, I had images of the characters in my mind. I could see them speaking, their expressions, and even body language. But they were floating in space. Their surroundings were never given real detail, so the picture in my mind was that of 4 ponies, one being operated upon, and the other 3 floating around an ever-changing room. With some extra details added to the environment, you can really get people interested. The clearer the image in the readers' mind, the better their reaction to the story.
Aside from that, I'd like to point out that I've never played or heard of the game you said this was based on, so I have nothing to compare it to. Just to clear that up.
But, to the actual story itself. You mention "antibiotic gel" (and its rather inconvenient name), and its fantastic capabilities. Well, you said that the lacerations along the chest were shallow. Why stitch them, when, with the foreign objects removed, apply the gel to the wounds? That'd close them up real fast, eh?
Aside from that, there are about 1 grammatical errors throughout the entire story. I applaud you.
In a quick wrap-up (and this does not apply to welcoming spring), I would say that this story has potential, both in terms of new chapters, and potential to be completely immersive, with the addition of a few more descriptive terms.
In my personal opinion, I quite liked it. I'd like to see where it goes.
Anyway, I hope you don't mind my rambling on. Heheh.
-Time Centurion
Looks like a space ran away from between these two sentences, but other than that, everything looks good
.
3648380
Thanks for the read, review, and favorite! You are officially awesome!
Now, then:
First off, knowing that you have no background knowledge of the story and still enjoyed it is extremely helpful. That is usually one of my goals in writing fan fictions: that someone with little to no prior knowledge could still enjoy it.
Heh, I suppose I failed to explain that Antibiotic Gel only works on very small wounds, like the puncture wounds left by the claws and teeth. Now I need to come up with a viable reason , and add it to the story. Thanks for pointing that out, though.
Also thanks for your other suggestion, the one about describing the setting. I'll certainly try to keep that in mind as I continue writing this story.
Write on,
Legion
3648524
Was that there before?
Nice catch.
Write on,
Legion
3648557
Oh, certainly. Thanks for taking the time to read my rambling.
3648561 I don't believe so, but I'm not surprised that errors showed up like that. Going from GDocs to this site has never been a clean process in my experience.
3648717
I checked. It actually was in the Gdoc.
Ah, well. One error in the whole chapter is still an awesome record.
Write on,
Legion
3648748 Not quite as sharp as you claim me to be. Sorry for missing that; I'll try to be more attentive next chapter.
3648929
It's all good. Like I said, that's exactly one error in the whole chapter. Impressive, if I do say so myself.
Write on,
Legion
I'm not really into medical dramas and stuff like that, but I can tell that those who are will like this. Aside from a few spelling errors it was pretty good.
Never played the game, either. Just how accurate is it in and of itself?
3795542
The game in and of itself is obviously not perfectly accurate. However, as I said in the description, it's most of the background I have in medicine. As such, I don't really have much of a way to compare where the game is and isn't accurate.
Spelling errors?
I thought I'd fixed all of those!
Anyway, I'll try to get to your story soon. I have no idea if I'll get the time to read it today, but I'll get to it as soon as I can.
Write on,
Legion
lol of course you had to call it a pentagram instead of a star
What's the point of forceps when you have magic?